Hypomanic Morning Means A Devastating Afternoon
This is not of the quality you typically find here. Sorry.
I knew I was hypomanic because yesterday I couldn’t sleep.
Not sleeping. Waking multiple times during the night. That’s hypomania.
I’m sleeping too little, eating too little, producing too much and feeling too OK; that’s hypomania. It makes you brilliant and insightful and creative and magical. It also makes me completely fucked up.
The hypomania is probably from being on Pristiq and Welbutrin together. That’s a long story.
Being a Writer, My Wordiness is Hampered
I know these words aren’t coming out right but that’s because I’ve had 6 mg of Lunesta, now 9 mg with clonazapam to boot. Sleep is critical to calming the mood swings, hypomania, depression so I try to make sure I get sleep, but at the moment my attempts aren’t looking terribly successful.[push]This is higher hypomania than I’ve been in quite a while.[/push]
So that’s right, I’m smashed on meds, typing incoherently, and I know, that in very short order this hypomania go to end with a devastating mess of epic proportions.
Signs of hypomania have probably been going back to a week ago, which is far for a gal like me. Usually with bipolar rapid cycling you’re up, you’re down, you’re hypomanic, you’re depressed, with almost no warning signs. But not at the moment. I’ve become so terribly obsessive over – everything. And song are getting stuck in my head for days. Over and over and over I hear the same pop tune endlessly playing.[pull] “I Would Die For You” by Prince was yesterday’s favorite, who knows what today’s will be.[/pull]
Yup, hypomania. Work production goes up, creativity goes up, randomness goes up, follow-through goes down. Chattiness goes up. Irritation goes up. Impatience goes up. Fragmentation goes up. Food intake goes down. Sleep down down. Oh, and you might have noticed, comprehensibility goes down.
Fear of a Devastating Afternoon
And extra-specially devastation is coming as the pendulum swign soars. Nothing that goes up, doesn’t come down. Depression crater.