Tag: relationships

Loving a Paranoid Partner

Today’s guest post on the Bipolar Burble blog is by Marion Gibson, author of “Unfaithful Mind “– a tale of what it’s like to love someone who has a paranoid disorder. To win a FREE copy of her book, leave a comment here.

I am married to a man with a mental illness.  High school sweethearts, we travelled the world and grew a family. We were just like any other couple. And then two years ago my husband woke up and believed I wanted him dead.

He thought I had no use for him anymore and I was going to poison him. He stopped eating food in the house and started drinking only store bought water from our emergency supply. He wrote a note and hid it in his chair explaining that I had poisoned him. He also believed I had been unfaithful in our marriage right from the beginning. He thought I had a way about me that I could convince men to sleep with me whenever and wherever I wanted.  He wanted paternity tests on all three of our children.

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Settling in a Relationship Because of Bipolar

Do you feel broken? I sometimes do. I sometimes feel very broken. I sometimes feel like the bipolar disorder has damaged me beyond repair. I sometimes feel like the bipolar disorder has damaged me beyond reason.

I sometimes feel like it would be impossible for another human being with a functioning brain to want me.

And this is too bad because it can lead to some very bad decisions regarding relationships. I’ve seen people with bipolar who feel this way stay with people who were entirely beneath them because they feel like that broken toy. The person with bipolar disorder feels like she/he doesn’t deserve any better.

This may be wrong. This definitely is wrong. But it doesn’t mean that some part of our brains doesn’t still believe it.

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Loving Someone with a Mental Illness

Standing Beside Someone with a Mental Illness

One of the most popular things I’ve written here is a piece called, Saying Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness. I think this piece is very important as it highlights the fact that you can’t stand beside someone just because they have a mental illness. Sometimes it’s simply an unworkable situation and you have to take care of yourself by putting some distance between you and the person with the mental illness.

Leaving Someone with a Mental Illness

Unfortunately, some people took this as an indication that I believe that you should leave people with a mental illness.

Loving Someone with a Mental Illness

Nothing could be farther from the truth, of course. The vast majority of people with a mental illness are people just like everyone else and are completely reasonable with which to be in a relationship (of whatever type).

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The Reason You Shouldn’t Get Angry

There are very few times in life when I think it’s appropriate to be “mad.” It happens, without doubt, but generally I don’t find it very insightful or helpful. There’s always something underneath the anger. Usually it has to do with the desire to be loved. If you track the feeling back, like really, really back, that is what you’ll find.

  • Wife screams at husband for leaving socks on the floor for the 18th time.
  • Wife is angry because she doesn’t feel like her husband is listening to her.
  • Wife wants to be listened to so that she’ll feel important to her husband.
  • Wife wants to feel important to her husband so that she’ll know he loves her.
  • Wife wants to know he loves her so she knows he’ll stay around.
  • Wife is afraid of being left by husband.
  • Wife is afraid of being unloved.

That’ll be $3000 in therapy bills, please.

There’s No Point Getting Mad About Socks

So you see, there’s no point in getting mad about socks. Just skip down a bit and talk about wanting to be listened to and feel important. The husband has more of a chance of understanding what’s going on that way. The husband has more of a chance of understanding why socks matter. When of course, socks don’t matter at all.

Other people don’t feel this way. Other people seem intent on yelling about socks. I get it; I’m weird; I’m crazy; I don’t perceive the world the way everyone else does. And I really don’t perceive whyfor all the yelling about socks.

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Bipolar Natasha Tracy’s Interview with HealthyPlace

Here is today’s interview with me, Natasha Tracy, complete with call-in questions. I think it went well. We discussed some of the negative impact bipolar has had on my life. I talked about bipolar disorder, depression, suicide, coping and how my writings at HealthyPlace have been controversial.

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I write a three-time Web Health Award winning column for HealthyPlace called Breaking Bipolar.

Also, find my writings on The Huffington Post and my work for BPHope (BP Magazine).

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