The Bipolar Burble welcomes Ka Hancock, a psychiatric nurse and author of Dancing on Broken Glass, a book that delves into issues relating to bipolar disorder through a captivating story. Ka shares with us her thoughts on bipolar disorder in relationships. Leave a comment to be entered into a draw to receive a signed copy of Ka’s book.
Do you feel broken? I sometimes do. I sometimes feel very broken. I sometimes feel like the bipolar disorder has damaged me beyond repair. I sometimes feel like the bipolar disorder has damaged me beyond reason.
I sometimes feel like it would be impossible for another human being with a functioning brain to want me.
And this is too bad because it can lead to some very bad decisions regarding relationships. I’ve seen people with bipolar who feel this way stay with people who were entirely beneath them because they feel like that broken toy. The person with bipolar disorder feels like she/he doesn’t deserve any better.
This may be wrong. This definitely is wrong. But it doesn’t mean that some part of our brains doesn’t still believe it.
Standing By Someone with a Mental Illness
One of the most popular things I’ve written here is a piece called, Saying Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness. I think this piece is very important as it highlights the fact that you can’t stand beside someone just because they have a mental illness. Sometimes it’s simply an unworkable situation and you have to take care of yourself by putting some distance between you and the person with the mental illness.
Leaving Someone with a Mental Illness
Unfortunately, some people took this as an indication that I believe that you should leave people with a mental illness.
This is a post I wrote a couple of years ago that I thought bared repeating.
There are very few times in life when I think it’s appropriate to be “mad.” It happens, without doubt, but generally I don’t find it very insightful or helpful. There’s always something underneath the anger. Usually it has to do with the desire to be loved. If you track the feeling back, like really, really back, that is what you’ll find.
- Wife screams at husband for leaving socks on the floor for the 18th time.
- Wife is angry because she doesn’t feel like her husband is listening to her.
- Wife wants to be listened to so that she’ll feel important to her husband.
- Wife wants to feel important to her husband so that she’ll know he loves her.
- Wife wants to know he loves her so she knows he’ll stay around.
- Wife is afraid of being left by husband.
- Wife is afraid of being unloved.
That’ll be $3000 in therapy bills, please.
Here is today’s interview with me, Natasha Tracy, complete with call-in questions. I think it went well. We discussed some of the negative impact bipolar has had on my life.
I talked about bipolar disorder, depression, suicide, coping and how my writings at HealthyPlace have been controversial.
See more video and audio at Breaking Bipolar at HealthyPlace.com.