hatred Archives - Bipolar Burble Blog

My Bipolar Makes Me Hate Everything and Everyone

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Dec 15, 2014

I hate you.

Or, perhaps, it might be more accurate to say my bipolar hates you. Or my bipolar makes me hate you. Or something.

I feel this pervasive negative, black, dark, inky hatred spread atop my “Natashaness” that seems to affect how I feel about everything. Theoretically, philosophically, intellectually, I know that I don’t hate everything. In fact, I know that I don’t really hate anything. But I sure feel as if I hate everything.

I Hate Myself for Having Bipolar, I Forgive Myself for Having Bipolar

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Feb 25, 2013

Bipolar disorder feels like a curse. It feels like somewhere, somehow, I’ve ticked off an old, horror-movie, crone and she’s cursed me to 1000 years of suffering. 1000 years of grating, clawing, slicing, pounding agony.

Any why do people get cursed? People get cursed because they did something wrong. I must have done something wrong. I must have done something unspeakably wrong. And I hate myself for it.

Mental Illness Stigma Affects Psychiatrists Too – Who Wants to Be a Psychiatrist?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 9, 2011

Recently I read Invisible Tattoos: The stigma of psychiatry by Dr. Henry A. Nasrallah in Current Psychiatry. Invisible Tattoos is and editorial piece on how the stigma of mental illness affects psychiatrists just like it affects the mentally ill. And my reaction?

Oh cry me a freaking river.

I thought the piece was a little whiny and navel-gazing. I mean seriously, these people are respected professionals making lots of money – they don’t have an illness threatening to kill them every day.

But then I got a comment from a medical student and I reconsidered my position. Maybe antipsychiatry poster-boy Tom Cruise doesn’t just fuck around with the way people look at me, maybe he fucks around with the way people look at psychiatrists too. And maybe stigma is difficult for psychiatrists to deal with.

Psych Meds, Psychiatry and Psychology Are Evil

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Feb 8, 2011

I hear from quite a few people, generally part of special interest groups, who think psych meds are evil, psychiatrists are evil or psychologists are evil. Usually these statements of hatred come from negative personal experiences with psych meds or psychiatry/psychology. Usually these people are lashing out emotionally because they didn’t like how the medicine or other form of treatment went.

I Understand Why People Think Psychiatry and Psychiatric Treatments Are Evil

I get this. I really do. When you tie yourself in knots and live through painful psych treatments and do things you never thought you would do to get better, and then you don’t get better, you get a little bitter. I’d say that’s pretty normal and understandable.

(I am jaded and perhaps bitter but far too even-minded to form such a fanatical stance.)

But here’s the thing, psychiatry is no more evil than any other branch of medicine; psychiatrists are just doing the best they can with what they have.