features Archives - Natasha Tracy Bipolar Expert

Loved In Spite of Bipolar, Loved Because of Bipolar

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Dec 2, 2010

I have explained to many people, many times, that bipolar is existence at the ends of a spectrum. It’s not that your average person doesn’t get sad, or happy, or devastated, or elated, it’s simply that they do not experience these emotions so fully, so much of the time. My bipolar problem isn’t the existence of these emotions, simply their intensity, their duration and their frequency.

All this bipolar emotion makes people look at me strangely. I know. But oddly, someone it seems not only loves me in spite of bipolar but even finds reasons to love me in the bipolar, because of the bipolar. Love.

Being Bipolar – Compensating for Perceived Incompetence

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 30, 2010

The bipolar burble welcomes guest author Stephanie of Mommy vs. Madness. Today Stephanie talks about something I can certainly relate to, the concept that stereotypically, those with bipolar disorder are nothing but crazy and so are to be disregarded. Stephanie talks about the cost of fighting this stigma.

Fitting in is hard. Fitting when you are bipolar is harder. Most people can fit in by adorning themselves in the latest shoes, bags or clothes. Others may compensate by engaging in witty conversations, bragging about their job accomplishments or their children. Being bipolar, I feel the need to compensate for my perceived incompetence. I feel that in order for me to fit in, I have to prove just how sane I am. For me to accomplish this I feel I must be smart, I must be funny and most importantly I must be calm and rational at all times.

What’s triple chronotherapy like? Did it work?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 28, 2010

I followed the Triple Chronotherapy protocol Thursday – Monday last week. I wrote in laymen’s terms about circadian rhythm and Chronotherapy when I started and then copious updates afterwards. (At the end of this post you can see rough numbers tracking mood during my treatment.)

It’s important to note that I did this without medical supervision and so my thoughts cannot necessarily be generalized to what would happen in a clinical setting. And I don’t need to tell you this, but don’t try this at home kids. Bad things can happen.

During Day One of Chronotherapy

Staying up for 36 hours isn’t fun. I would imagine most people instinctively know this, but I can now say with certainty that 36 hours is too long to be awake.

The changes I noticed during this time were:

A lot of dizziness, difficulty going from sitting to standing
Lack of coordination
Nausea, lack of hunger
General feeling of weakness and unwellness
Depletion of cognitive ability
Disconnection from the world around me

This was not fun in the slightest and the only thing that kept me grounded was a friend that stayed up with me.

Proving Competence – Mommy vs. Madness’s Schwandy – Guest Author

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 24, 2010

I am an extremely competent individual. I’m intelligent, hard-working, perfectionistic and driven. I’m gentle, kind, giving, funny and witty. I’m a great employee and I like to think pretty good friend. But like many of my mentally ill brethren, I feel like I have to keep proving over and over how competent I am due to the unfortunate mental illness stereotypes. People tend to think of bipolars in a negative light.

And this is just what Schwandy, from Mommy Vs. Maddness will be discussing in her post next week…

Circadian Rhythm Chronotherapy for Depression – Experiment

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 18, 2010

Today I read about a new therapy known as Triple Chronotherapy. Yes, it’s a big fancy word. Chronotherapy. Quite frankly, it sounds made up.

But it isn’t.

Chronotherapy is a combination of light therapy, prolonged wakefulness and sleep phase advance. It aims to reset the circadian rhythm to treat depression.

Saying Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 7, 2010

Pretty much weekly I get messages from people who are desperate to help a loved one with a mental illness. I hear versions of this story over and over, my child/parent/sibling/friend/spouse is sick and won’t get help for their mental illness. They say they would rather be in jail than be on medication for their mental illness. They can’t take care of themselves and they are going to end up on the street. Their behavior is destroying our family/relationship. Their behavior is destroying them.

Believe me, I get it. I really, really do. And sometimes you have to except that not everyone with a mental illness will get help. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness.