I have a bad habit of thinking everything is my fault. It’s remarkable, actually. No matter what happens and no matter what other people do, it always feels like I made it happen. This is a personal inclination of mine, psychologically, I suspect, but it’s also impacted by depression. If you feel like everything is your fault, read on as to why that might be and what to do about it.
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I’ve thought about what makes a person suicidal many times. Mostly, that’s because I’ve been both actively and passively suicidal for prolonged periods of my life. It’s hell, and I hate it. There are both general and specific things that make a person suicidal. Knowledge of these factors, along with ways to protect from suicidality, can help.
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It can be difficult to know how to advocate for yourself in a doctor’s appointment. I’ve been faced with this for years, and I still sometimes find it difficult. However, forming a patient-doctor alliance where you work together is part of a comprehensive wellness plan. In order to participate in this, you must be able to advocate for your own needs and wants. Here’s how to advocate for yourself in a doctor’s appointment.
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There are so many myths about what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder. People constantly make assumptions about it based on media portrayals, but life is not a movie or a news report. Living with bipolar disorder is complex and varied, and what happens for some is not necessarily common for all. So, let’s dispel some of the myths about what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder and encourage people to stop making uneducated assumptions.
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I hate platitudes in general, but I especially hate platitudes when they’re applied to mental illness. It’s so condescending when people offer some simple piece of advice and tell you it will fix everything. It’s disgustingly pious when people tell you you’re looking at things or handling things the wrong way because they know of a rhyming couplet. Not only are platitudes unlikely to be helpful in general, I would suggest they are even less so for people with a mental illness (especially serious mental illnesses like bipolar disorder). Here’s why people need to stop offering platitudes to those with mental illness (and maybe everyone else).
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I have lost many years of life because of bipolar disorder. No, I don’t mean that I have a decreased lifespan because of bipolar disorder (although that’s likely true, too). What I mean is that there are years of living that are missing because of bipolar disorder. At 46, I can look back at the decades and see these lost years of life very clearly.
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Support for bipolar is important, but the support for bipolar that you actually need is even more so. We’re all different, and the support we need is different too. The trouble is, it can be hard to get the support we need when we need it. I would say that obtaining this support is actually a skill. So, if getting the support you need for bipolar disorder is a skill, how do we learn it, and how do we practice it?
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Recently, I’ve had days when I was useless due to bipolar disorder. My brain became a rock. I couldn’t get a thought through it if I tired. And thanks to my brain’s inability to think, I also couldn’t work. Trying to do anything — and I mean anything — brought about nothing but crushing overwhelm. And all of this lack of productivity brought about a lot of self-flagellation. I need to learn to forgive myself when I’m useless because of bipolar, though.
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As a mental health advocate, I’ve observed people attributing everything to bipolar disorder, from feelings and thoughts to actions. While a mood disorder does influence feelings and thoughts, not all emotions and thoughts are a result of bipolar disorder. It’s crucial to take responsibility for actions and not blame them solely on the disorder. Learning to separate actions from thoughts and feelings, investing in therapy, and taking responsibility can help in personal growth and improve relationships.
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