I have heard many times that people don’t want to get diagnosed because they don’t want the label “bipolar” put on them as if “bipolar,” in of itself, is pejorative, as if, somehow, some doctor writing a medical diagnosis on a chart is going to change their whole futures. Well, I have bipolar disorder; I have the “label” and everyone in my life knows it. I see no need to avoid the label of bipolar if, indeed, that is an accurate diagnosis for you.
The Controversy over the Bipolar ‘Label’
Now, some people would argue that there is a controversy around the label of bipolar. Some people would argue that because there is no 100% accurate test, (by the way, no test, blood or otherwise, is 100% accurate) the bipolar label is inappropriate and that because the label bipolar simply signifies a cluster of symptoms, mostly self-reported, it doesn’t count and people should avoid it.
Well, yes, “bipolar” denotes a group of symptoms – like every other diagnosis in the world. What is the common cold? A cluster of self-reported symptoms for which no test is done. So, is bipolar like that? Yes, it is, only it happens to be diagnosed by a very well-trained, specialized doctor (psychiatrists; I would argue that a general practitioner’s diagnosis is tentative at best).
The Label ‘Bipolar’ On a Child
Now, while I don’t see the point in running from the bipolar label for properly diagnosed adults, I do understand a parent’s reluctance to see their child labeled with a mental illness. This does seem reasonable to me. This is not to suggest that children don’t have mental illnesses – they do – but diagnosing them gets a lot trickier.
And that’s because we don’t know how to truly diagnose bipolar disorder in children. If you look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) it doesn’t list the criteria for bipolar disorder in children as we simply don’t know what they are. We don’t know enough about bipolar in children to truly say. I think it’s pretty obvious that bipolar does occur in a small group of children, but waiting until they are 18 for their official diagnosis (note, I said diagnosis, not waiting to treat) may make sense.
Why We Need the Bipolar Label
I really don’t think I should have to enumerate reasons as to why mental illnesses, like all illnesses, need a name, but here are a few:
- Specific illnesses, like bipolar disorder, have been recognized in patients for hundreds of years. They needed a way of recording that the same illnesses was being seen in different people.
- Doctors need a way of speaking to each other, speaking to you, and disseminating information.
- Without that pesky “label” we wouldn’t know what to research or what treatments would work on that “symptom cluster.”
- And, yes, doctors do have to bill insurance companies for something.
But more than all of that, being “labeled” bipolar can be positive and meaningful to the individual. So many people struggle for so many years with symptoms and have no idea why. Then, suddenly, when they are properly diagnosed, the label “bipolar” is a huge relief because then they know what is wrong and they can finally work to address it.
The Bipolar Label Is Not Negative Until We Treat It As Such
I have said, many times, that I am a professional crazy person. Many advocates hate it when I say this. But they simply don’t understand language. If you look up crazy in the dictionary, I identify with its meaning quite well. It is a fairly accurate statement when it comes to me. To me, that’s not a negative, it’s simply accuracy. Don’t worry, I promise, I won’t make you call yourself crazy but I’m a professional crazy person. That’s just me.
Bipolar is exactly the same way. The bipolar “label” is only a negative if we treat it as such. I do not treat the word “bipolar” as a negative. I treat it as a medical diagnosis as that’s what it is in most contexts.
And to the people who say that “labeling is bad” and we should avoid it: just get over it. Mental illnesses need labels so they can be studied and treated and that’s far important than your labelphobia.
Hi Natasha
I hate to break it to you, but the label destroyed my family.
My father had the ongoing symptoms of bipolar his whole life. My mother dealt with it all the best she could, but upon learning that he had the diagnosis of bipolar, she looked into the disorder, and found out that it was not curable.
This led her to divorce my father, as she said she “didn’t have it in her” to deal with the treatments and ongoing symptoms if it wasn’t going to go away.
They were married for 21 years before the LABEL changed her mind. Not the symptoms he exhibited the entire time necessarily…becoming educated on the topic led her to destroy our family. It wasn’t a relief, it was a grenade.
I love my father and I don’t care what is supposedly wrong with him. But I do hate the label of Bipolar. That labelling cost my family a hell of a lot.
Just good for thought. I’m glad YOU were LUCKY enough to avoid negative consequences in YOUR labelling, but that does not mean that is the case for everyone.
Cheers, Rachael
WOW!!! Not sure what world this person lives in, but EVERY SINGLE TIME I trust someone enough to tell them it always eventually changes the relationship to the point that i regret telling them. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Perhaps your experiences have been kinder gentler, but as to me, I TELL NO ONE ANY MORE, NO ONE!!! I would strongly caution anyone against openly labeling themselves “bi-polar” and enjoy your relationships rather then destroy them…. Anyways, i guess everyone has there opinion but as a high-functioning Bi-Polar 1 with a successful business of my own that I started and grew from scratch I can honestly tell you that a totally normal life IS possible if you work hard enough at your emotions and relationships. For me the most frustrating part is wishing that people knew how much harder we work to appear normal then the average person. I mean when 90% of your emotional energy is used just to control emotional chains and bite your tongue from saying those hateful things we say when we are having a wonderful episode, then we are actually functioning from the outside with the remaining 10% of our emotional bandwidth and that does NOT leave a lot of wiggle room for triggers… Meaning that even the tiniest trigger can overwhelm that mere 10% and a full blown spiraling episode comes on in the blink of an eye…. I cant even begin to describe how many times I have wished I could switch minds with my spouse for just 5 minutes!!!! Those 5 minutes would teach her more about me then 1000 books. seminars and life experiences…. We are in fact wired different and refusing to acknowledge that is definitely a form of denial…. Anyways – Yeah, I no longer disclose to anyone as it has never helped a single relationship of mine, only hurt them. ( just my personal opinion of course )
The author wrote “I see no need to avoid the label of bipolar “.
That label will (1) prevent you from being employed (2) completely change your relationship with your family (3) prevent you from getting life insurance (4) possibly prevent you from getting a drivers license. If your spouse wishes to make your life miserable, as n my case, the spouse will tell the cops you are “bipolar” and they will be sympathetically eating from your spouse’s hand and treating you like a nutcase.
Bipolar1 and Bipolar2 are world’s apart. Unfortunately both n labels carry the same terribly negative connotations in the eyes of the public and the law.
I feel this way and have experienced everything you just said!
I’m not label phobic but I choose carefully who I disclose my diagnosis to these days. I’m a huge advocate for breaking the stigma attached to mental illness, but sadly there’s so far to still go before mental illnesses (particularly bipolar), are normalised within the community as a lifelong health condition (like diabetes, asthma, or epilepsy).
I’ve previously disclosed my diagnosis with employers, friends, family, acquaintances, parents/teachers at my kids school, doctors/nurses not within psychiatry/psychology, and experienced negative impacts from sharing it.
I’ve had employers find or create reasons for me to leave my job, despite being regarded as one of the top employees in the country & training management teams.
I’ve had family question my diagnosis then tell me what they think I have. Family that found it too hard to learn about my illness and what I’m doing every single day to manage my illness. Family that just ignore the red flags I’ve told them about & how to check in with me. Some friends faded from my life but I expected
that from those friends. Parents or teachers at school treat me differently if I disclose my bipolar 1 diagnosis, effecting my kids inadvertently. Luckily I knew who my real friends were & they’ve never wavered.
I’ve presented at hospital with an injury or illness unrelated to bipolar, but am subjected to a full review of my mental health first instead of the treatment needed at the time. I had one specialist professor investigating an unrelated illness that accused me of being a drug addict trying to obtain narcotics from him because of my bipolar diagnosis, despite letters from two different hospitals and numerous conference calls between him & the hospitals trying to ascertain the cause of my severe, visibly obvious symptoms & my erratic test results. When I finally found a GP that simply investigated my symptoms with tests until he discovered what the cause was, sent me to a surgeon who was flabbergasted that I was able to walk around and function normally with the severity of pain associated with such an extreme case that hadn’t been treated properly for 5+ years. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only serious health issue that wasn’t treated properly at first, but with age, I’ve learnt to speak up, demand treatment for the presenting problem, and shut them down with a detailed account of my mental health care plan, my support network of people that include GP, psychiatrist, psychologist, and personal support people in my life, as well as reeling off my meds, dosages, times taken, and my last history of episodes or hospitalisations.
I’ve recently separated from my husband, a narcissist & substance abuser (drugs & alcohol), whose spent the last 19 years using my declining mental health then my many diagnoses & treatments as cover for his abusive behaviour behind closed doors & publicly. I was his excuse for everything that ever went wrong in his life, despite being relatively stable with no hospitalisations & only two major episodes that were quickly treated properly in the LAST 10 YEARS!
It took separating for me to realise he was gaslighting me, isolating me, financially controlling me, mentally & when in an intoxicated rage, physically abusive & threatened extreme harm. Now I’m realising the effect it’s had on my mental health & is probably the major factor in the escalation of my health & subsequent diagnosis of bipolar 1, panic disorder, acute anxiety and I’ve recently added CPTSD to the list.
We live in a world that already stigmatised mental illness, particularly those that require life long management. Then you add that most adults haven’t had any type of education about anything related to mental illness (who, what, when, how, why stats & medical research), relying on inaccurate media sources that only mention bipolar in association with extreme criminal behaviour that causes injury, death & trauma to innocent people.
Even worse are the stigmas & myths perpetuated by religious groups, social media & the internet (where opinions are viewed as facts and memes are rife).
I will talk to anyone & everyone about bipolar and how I manage it daily to maintain stability of my mood, if they are willing to listen open-mindedly and without telling me how or what I should be doing if they don’t have the same diagnosis or have a medical or support worker background in mental health.
So yeah, I have mixed views on labels. Personally, it’s a relief to have a diagnosis I can research continuously & learn how to better manage. Publicly, the world just isn’t accepting or willing to learn about people diagnosed with bipolar & how it affects each of us individually yet. We’re only seeing more public awareness of just depression in Australia, but no real reform or funding put into it. There’s some awareness about anxiety but it’s only pushed by NGO’s specific to mental health so it relies on the public to share the information & message.
I am bipolar manic depressive I have been like this for over I would say maybe 15 years – 20 been on medication sinse.I am so pissed off because nowadays everybody’s bipolar. every psychologist and psychologist diagnose each person with bipolar and that is so uncalled for. I struggled so hard went into an institution for 3 months, and yet it took the doctors that longto diagnosis me and like I said nowadays it takes them one session its that long to say that they are bipolar that is so frustrating.if people really realized what bipolar really meant and what we really go through they would shut up and actually have compassion and really read about it and Drs.should actually do the same thing stop diagnosing at the drop of a hat but then again that is only my opinion
Corinbreyes
As I look back on my life when I was very young my parents were told I had manic depression. They didnt know what it was and I suffered so bad and I don’t know to this day how I made it. Bipolar is the new word for manic depression and I like you find it so difficult when I am a round teenagers and young adults who say to each other “you are so bipolar”. TV and movies and so many other mediums have almost glorified being bipolar as if it were not a bad thing. People who say they love being bipolar becuase they become very artistic and love the feeling of creating things, etc. I just want to grab them and tell them what the real deal is. Disability , uncontrollable mania, depression bringing one to hell and back, loss of friends and family, etc. But what’s the use? We get stigmatised because we have it and stigmatized becuase it is trivialized by many in our culture. Meanwhile, here we are , the ones with our families in the trenches suffering and making it day by day and for some of us hour by hour. I no longer label myself. Its none of anybodys business and I have come across doctors who have also have had trouble with that label and have treated me differently and when I ask them what it is can’t even give me an answer as to what it exactly it is.When I would tell them I am an ultradian cycler they look as if I was speaking another language. I no longer tell a doctor I have it. it’s a lonely disease especially for those of us who have lost everything including their dignity. Now to top it all off, the term is made fun of. If only one knew.
Sorry I’m not gona make too much sense but I agree with you. I ended up here doing various searches trying to relay to my mother what it feels like to be me… Its sick how the term bi polar is thrown about like its cool or like your nuts… Its not understood by anyone other than us folk who really know…. Im 38 I feel like I’m using every bit of energy fighting an endless battle of mood confidence lack of positive negative battling min by min from one point to the opposite. Its feels like I’ve been in mid life crisis since I was under ten years old yes 10 years old. I was diagnosed 8 years ago. I too can’t belive I’ve made it this far…. I hope we all find peace somewhere down the line I’m referring to every human being. Life must be a test and we have to try to pass it buy being as good as we can despite suffering and i pray for the human race entirely because we suffer in so many different ways… Life is thee most trickiest to get hold… Here I am no idea on how to live life I don’t work this is a money world I’m not about money still I wish I knew what to do with my life. I do wish I had a job a partner and family but I don’t an it pains me every min every hour day month and year….. If anyone wants to get in touch with me….i can be reached at smacbeats2008@outlook.com
I live in London UK… I wrote this as I thought and read this comment thanks to you it prompted me to say all this…i always hold hope that onetime things will be better…. Peace
In the article, you write: [i]Some people would argue that because there is no 100% accurate test, (by the way, no test, blood or otherwise, is 100% accurate) the bipolar label is inappropriate and that because the label bipolar simply signifies a cluster of symptoms, mostly self-reported, it doesn’t count and people should avoid it.[/i]
That’s a rhetorical trick that is unworthy of you. Not only doesn’t a 100% accurate test exist, neither does a 10% accurate test exist! If there were, then I could scientifically establish that I am not any type of bipolar (note that I absolutely do not deny that bipolar disease exists).
I have experienced but a single, 24-hour hypomanic episode that I believe was induced from overdosing on my sleep meds for three months. I have NEVER had a manic episode. I absolutely do NOT meet even the bare minimum DSM criteria for any bipolar diagnosis. Yet a typically unscientific psychiatrist “diagnosed” me as Bipolar-I with reckless disregard of the facts. And now I have the “bipolar” label even though it is a despicable lie.
You may not be aware of this, but psychiatry has a shockingly weak level of scientific legitimacy and robustness — see:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1182327
“The Book of Woe: The DSM and the Unmaking of Psychiatry”;
“Mad Science: The Disorders of American Psychiatry – Psychiatric Coercion, Diagnosis, and Drugs”; and
“Mad in America: Bad Science, Bad Medicine, and the Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill”
There should be a law against diagnosing most mental illnesses — include bipolar — when the DSM diagnostic criteria are not met!
Surely you understand that “bipolar” is the catch-all diagnosis of the 21’st century. The “bipolar” label dispenser is over-full and oh-so handy to non-scientists such as your average psychiatrist. Does your patient fail to show any bipolar symptoms and deny that he’s bipolar? Then he definitely IS bipolar – no more evidence is necessary!
But my general family physician can actually thing for himself, and he saw that I did NOT meet even the minimum DSM-5 criteria for ANY of the different “flavors” of bipolar, but he is powerless to remove the diagnosis from my records. Psychiatrists often have hidden doubts of their own about the scientific legitimacy of their field, and will usually REFUSE to disagree with another psychiatrist’s diagnosis because it’s just too uncomfortable for them to face up to the reality of their doubts. This is normal human nature, but it is detestable all the same.
I don’t think someone should tell others they’re bipolar. There are definitely some people who will take advantage of that label and will intentionally try to trigger you. Sad, but true. It’s happened to me; someone will say something insulting and when you try to call them out on it they blame your “over sensitivity ” on your bipolar. I’ve distanced myself from people like this and I never tell a new person that comes into my life that i’m bipolar. I tell and show everyone that i’m a great person who’s worthy of tremendous love and respect :)
The label helped with getting disability Insurance company won’t touch you and it can be used against you in numerous ways keep your guard up I use to all ways refer to myself as the crazy man Now I single parent so I am cautious People use to say I just wanted people to think I was crazy.Some people will say there is nothing wrong with them and then say THE S,O,B IS CRAZY in a derogatory fassion.BAD acronym is like alcohol depending upon the person some sing some dance some turn into lover boy some cry some FIGHT,SPIRIT CUSS ECT xxxx
Slow down hollis. Punctuation is your (my) friend. I do the same often and know no one understands me. So much to say and no status quo to start from if like me. Always starting from the middle by need. Complex and nuanced ideas and words are so limited. WN
Things I wish people knew about mental distress/illness and psychiatric labels:
1.) It’s not ALL in our heads and it is not ALL biological: If a woman gets raped, the perception of the rape, the penetration and the pain are all located in her brain. Where else could they be? Does that mean the rape is all in her head? No. It is something that is associated with the external world. Whether or not you have a psychiatric diagnosis, people have problems in living which vary in intensity from person to person.
2.) Psychiatric labels are descriptive and the labelled are not a homogenous group: There is no fixed entity called bipolar disorder. It is not a homogenous group (and yes, I am aware that this could also be said for something like asthma). It is a descriptive label that says you’ve experienced depression and mania. The causal factors for those mental states vary from person to person. Someone might take antidepressants (SSRIs) for depression or anxiety, experience an antidepressant induced manic episode (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15289250), and he will be diagnosed bipolar even though he does not experience mania at all unless they are SSRI induced. Someone’s father may have died, and he may have a spontaneous mania and thus be diagnosed bipolar. Someone might have depression with hardly any mania (or mild hypomania or antidepressant induced mania) and be diagnosed bipolar. The pathways to a bipolar diagnosis are many. People with a certain psychiatric label also vary in terms of their personalities, functionality, the problems in living they have, their relationships with people, their successes and failures etc. All of these have an effect on why and how you feel mental distress/depression/anxiety .
So, for example, a lot of Natasha Tracy’s experiences might apply to her, but cannot be generalised to everyone even if they have a bipolar diagnosis.
3.) People with psychiatric labels are not “crazy”, at least not in the way most people think: For example, the very fact that some like Natasha Tracy is able to write her blogs in an articulate fashion sheds some light on this. We are not some violent morons who will act like lunatics. People with psychiatric labels can be thoughtful, think clearly and be rational. Sure, there may be moments of distress which colours people’s thought processes. But this may be momentary and time limited (other than in very severe cases), and some can be very functional and hold responsible jobs and also do well in life. As people have experiences (even those with bipolar labels), they learn and adapt. And when situations in life get better, they have a positive impact on our mental states and we can be quite normal.
4.) People with psychiatric labels feel distressed and feel depressed due to things happening to them, events in their lives, and the way they are treated by people, the social situations they are in, their situations in life, and it is not always their biology that’s at fault. People with psychiatric labels are people too.
5.) People with psychiatric labels ought to be seen as people and not through the prism of their diagnoses alone and be prejudged based on them.
——————————————————————-
The user “tabby” has written a comment that is important. Yes, labels are useful for categorisation and research purposes. But the way people see them also matters, because if people had a better understanding of them, it would certainly help reduce stigma. Which is why I think people should be aware of what I’ve written about in my comment.
Thank you for a very well thought out and conveyed post. All I can add is that we have a major empathy deficit in this country which does include many mental health professionals and so many of us have nowhere to turn to. Many of us , like me are shunned by family and friends never to see them again. Its a lonely place to be which brings on a whole set of other issues. I cant stand labels but the insurance companies require them and the DSM has gotten so thick with so much crap.. I hear if you breathe too much you are characterized as having OBD, Obsessive breathing disorder :) This has to stop.
I’m PTSD and Bp, I use humor when addressing this issue, because both are under mental illness in the d m s , I tell folks yes I’m certifiable crazy and have paper work to prove it. I’m 100 percent PTSD, most people lighten up after I say this. Own it, don’t hide it. Thanks Hank
Hi there Hank,
Yes,well they say humour does indeed help.,relive stress
( well,for me asides prescriptions as well)
Whatever form of humour you like,being of UK descent so much great great stuff over there…
I like the the Tonite Show,but don’t stay up,watch it online…
Although,when I’m mega depressed it’s hard to even to go online…but surprisingly that will be when I hear from my younger brother whom I’m very close to ( though,he lives 3 h drive away..) with a chatty email,plus a link to
Something something funny…
Some good movies I like are Mrs Doubtfire ( RIP Robin Williams) & the really old Sat Nit Live Cast with Belushi,
Loved him..( sad end to a fab talent!, John Candy, Chris Farley….. Fortunately, you can still still see them through the Internet one of the BEST was ( Farley I believe sooo long ago..interviewing Beatle Paul McCartney….
OMG…Either that Chris Or the other one.
I also,maybe you’ve witnessed this yourself..
Been told myself,that I have a naturally funny person, & good personality.
I use that as my mantra ,I’m becoming more centred
I’m Sandra,
So much more more than a crazy a bipolar person.
Though I accept & understand my diagnosis
I will keep educating myself on my bipolar, plus my other medical diseases that plague me
But with my head up,using my humour & intelligence & strength.
The central key is it won’t GET you unless you unless you’ve sword ready for battle
Stay well friends.
Sandra,in bipolar cyberland
I usually just reply to the tweet. But I like these comments. I also like crazy. One definition is cracked or flawed. Another is outside the normal. I’m all of these things.
But bipolar as a word, as a label is so helpful. Until I heard the word I was a person who experienced depression and then was…crazy. Like a diabetic or a cancer patient, no one could treat me properly without the label. With the label came reason and logic…and a sense I wasn’t alone. I love knowing the “what” because working on the “why” and the “how” without it was impossible. Now I’m relatively regulated. A battle still of course. But I’m not just out there without direction on how to get help.
Plus the medical community has launched myriad trials and research. We have the first med approved by the FDA specifically for the not-your-normal-depression but treatment-resistant bipolar depression. It may have saved my life without exaggeration. At the very least, it’s let me lead a life worthy of the name. I hope it’s the tip of the iceberg in progress.
I do cringe with every criminal who proclaims bipolar disorder as a reason for actions. I’m sure manic episodes have caused some unlawful behavior but for the most part, bipolar sufferers are too busy suffering to wreak havoc on society. Most of us battle mainly depression. Few have mania as a consistent state that threatens anyone other than themselves. Argh, so many ways the stigma hurts…
Do you or anyone else remember when the BP diagnosis was given respect by those in the business. By this I mean those labeled with Major depression and so on were mostly thought of as big winers and so on, but those with BP were thought of by many professionals as being victims of genetics and TRULY worthy of respect and compassion. I’m thinking 30 years ago or so although may go back further then that. Would be greatly interested in some reply’s here. That attitude has greatly shifted as now the label BP points more in the direction of say Schizophrenia of all types did back then. It appears those with BP are now the demons and Schizophrenia has faded into the back round as if it barely exists. WN
FRIENDS: AS LONG AS WE BREATHE, THERE REMAINS ETERNAL HOPE
HOPE AS A GATHERING OF MANY OF US, FROM ALL PARTS OF THE USA CANADA , PERHAPS EVEN OTHER
PLACES.
ONE….
BUT NOT THE SAME…..
WE DONT KNOW THE POWER OF WORDS ON SOMEONE IN DARKNESS…..OR ASKING QUESTIONS OF THEMSELVES WITH NO ANSWERS….
EACH OF US BY SHARING ….AS I SAID MAY HAVE NO IDEA OF THE IMPACT OF THEIR WORDS ON SOMEONE
STUMBLING ACROSS THIS SITE.
ONE HEART……
MANY HEARTS = SPREADS MUCH LOVE AROUND FOR MANY THAT MAY NOT BE AS FORTUNATE TO ARTICULATE OR BE IN HOSPITALS…..ETC.
SO MAYBE SOMETIMES, WE LOOK @ THE BIGGER PICTURE.
( please friends! I’m not disrespecting anyone’s bipolar!)
Hilo Will
You may receive 2 posts ( as email issues to the board) so obviously they…
Will be worded somewhat differently.
I feel your frustration,pain,etc. it must be horrible …to have to do all those odd jobs here / there….
As well as fighting with the bipolar same time
Never really getting to do any real fun stuff…
Like vacays etc.
I understand the family stuff can be rough,but surely some…I mean…
We did ask to be bipolar….you are working your ass off & more they should see that & help you out.
I think.
It takes a better person to apologize ( not ref to you here) then let what sounds like a family fued go on at the stake of your mental/ physical health.
But hey,that’s only how I feel & think.
I mean,my family are I’d say dysfunctional,they’d never go to therapy…but diff now is I can’t let fights go on too long b/ c it just feels too bad / knowing too they also feel equally the same.
Listen,I’m NOT defending IN ANY WAY YOUR FAMILY IF THEY HAVE SHUT YOU OUT.
For reasons that are not of my biz.
I don’t ask,because it’s like a messy ball of yarn for some others too painful.
That’s ok.
I’m no therapist,I’m just a bipolar suffer like you.
Anyway
We build confidence on everything we can do,& you my man can do a hell of a lot of ….
Finally,as far as the gf matters,I think you sound smart ( check) great at fixing things ( check)
But I’m saying that you sound llike A NICE GUY THAT HAD BAD LUCK( & of course( BP)
OH ….no I’m not looking for a BF…
I’m just saying what I’ve observed by reading your posts.
But I do like friends,but it can be it inconsistent sometimes as unfourtunately I’m rapid cycle as u recall.
Peace.
Yours in bipolar cyberspace,there will be an answer…let it be…la la.. Sandra….xx
Hi Michael,
I understand the snooty neighbour situation..omg hate that…
Plus the weight gain,my superintendent once called me fat right to my face!!!
Man,first thought was to punch his face in( no I’m just a girly girl) it stung so bad…
Then I went up to my apartment & the meltdown ( sobbed one hr)
After,I thought who cares about that asshole?
He’s not my friend?
Really,the times we get upset about stupid ignorant ppl comments…we could be doing more productive things.
I’m not saying I’m there yet…but stupid comments roll off my back more than…say 6 months previous
I understand,as I’m rapid cycles,it’s rough,I meltdown in public…but I have safe places to go ( ironically not emergency!) to help it ….I equate it as I’ve said to a storm,then the calm…….
I also felt better eliminating toxic people from my life,anyone hindering my journey to wellness
It’s also harder being a perfectionist coming from high achievers….
I have plans…but then something occurs.( health- wise to ruin it) I’m smart enough to get meds don’t solve all your problems,but I’m very complicated ( physical severely as well)
I try,yes may sound lame but walking to market had my iPod on listening to Golden Slumbers I sang….
I’m not TRAPPED by bipolar”.
I do want I want …obey the law…never had any altercations ( reported)
I know right from wrong..
as well I have a 160 I Q ,but we are all aware when we are ill …..we are…..can’t put a word on it
I’m not the best at arranging things.
You only get lost,truly in the dark if you choose the lifestyle that encourages bipolar to take over
Then,it’s no longer your choice.
I, though I hate authority am a rebel etc etc….
Choose to LIVE BY THE RULES that I know KEEP ME FREE OUT OF HOSPITALS
Im not trashing pot
I’m not trashing booze.
It’s others lives….
I’m just saying what I do,I have triggers,natch,so do normals.
If you find out your limitations,being self aware …..is a wonderful thing.
That…I can say I am a self aware BIPOLAR INDIVIDUAL
Time,effort,energy,strong will,toughness.
Bipolar YOU won’t break me.
Or you,Michael.
Sandra,in bipolar Cyberland..
Hi Dee!
Long time no write!
I’m still fat…blah.
Loved your amusing response!
LOL.
Are you still a hanger?
I have plent extra weight to send to you…just tell me where to send it!!!
Isadora
Congratulations to you!
BIPOLAR BRAVERY!!
Love how you so are so HONEST.
Stay well
Sandra in bipolar cyberspace
One of the happiest days of my life was getting diagnosed bipolar!
After 20 odd years of shizoeffective disorder ( mixed bag)
But knew it was close,but inside my soul not quite tailored exactly right.
Yes,I can cry over spilt milk like a pussy over the fact …( that I was diagnosed in my 50 s)
But,my parents,with the British ancestory & all weren’t like that,neither am I .
Point being,even today,it’s very humid outside…
I had to walk to the market to get some mangos,I met a sweet lady with breast cancer stage 2
I’ve been having a lot of pain w my damn spine & bones in my feet…this lady reminded me of my mum so much
actually creeped me out…her attitude was exactly like mums …up till mums death she was teaching the nurses
how to knit….
My father donated to many charities amongst them,mental health.
He refused any meds to transition out….he just wanted family.
So I guess,sorry off topic again…that is really an issue for me
With the bipolar label,though,hard to know who to share your diagnosis with or not at all.
I feel a lot of vibes with people,it takes time I have to feel safe & that if I have an episode around that individual…
BIG THING …they WONT SHIT THEMSELVES & know how to deal.
I do have 1 lovely older lady,who really is like a mum.
She took the NAMI course,her son is full blown schizo. & drug addict.
She’s very calm,cool…very empathetic
I don’t know about you friends,but I find people with calm chilled out voices help me feel a bit better.
My Dad had a very calm soothing voice.
Finally you’ve to make peace w the diagnosis bipolar.
Hey,we’re really genius!
That ROCKS!!!
At the day’s end don’t forget…add some humour …natural serotonin!!
Check online it’s all there,life need not be all serious…unless we so choose it to be.
Bye friends ( for now..) Sandra in bipolar Cyberland….
I don’t mind the bipolar label for one simple reason: it’s not who I am.
Actually I came to appreciate the label. 6 years ago I was “kinda” diagnosed with bipolar, but the psychiatrist did not want to conclude the diagnosis (even though it runs in my family and she also gave me mood stabilizer). By trying to sugar coat my illness the pdoc just pushed me to ignore it and dismiss it. I stopped taking the meds and thought the whole bipolar story was a bit of an exaggeration, and since there was no diagnosis…No need to say that I have been riding a crazy and bumpy roller coaster ever since until few months ago I started spiraling out of control into this depressive mood. The diagnosis finally came: Bipolar I. It was a relief! But it also demanded acceptance from my end and lots of discipline. I’ve been working on my self-awareness, recognizing the signs of mania and depression when they are stirring around and learning techniques on how to cope with it. I came clean to all co-workers from my team (since I was on sick leave for 3 months) and I have received lots of support and words of encouragement. I do not feel ashamed or embarrassed, and if I tell someone about my illness and this person get uncomfortable…well than it’s his/her problem not mine.
I have the label. I tell some people; I don’t tell others. I’ve had people treat me like utter crap because of my bipolar label; others treat me normally. I was a freaking genius in school until bipolar disorder nearly ruined my life…and nearly ended it.
My 16-year-old son has the bipolar label, too. He is also autistic, and we were fighting like mad for services due to his crippling anxiety (his teachers and social worker also fought for us, but in an IEP meeting, the people who actually deal with my son are treated as if they are stupid). Anyway, administration backed right down when the bipolar label came into play-they don’t want to mess around with mental illness because they clearly don’t understand socio-emotional issues that kids with co-morbid illnesses face. It was amazing how they were understanding about his autism in class, but when he got sick with bipolar disorder, it was “you need to fix him”. These people could not understand how a kid getting straight A’s could be breaking down emotionally, and they sure as hell didn’t know how to deal with it. I got called 2 and 3 times a day because these educators who are supposed to know how to deal with this kind of thing, couldn’t deal with this kind of thing. I “fixed” him by asking for a 1:1 aide who was trained in dealing with anxiety in special needs children, which was denied, denied, denied, we got the hostile environment thing during the IEP meetings, until we walked in with bipolar and anxiety diagnoses and medication. Then the aide was handed to us on a silver platter and BOOM he was treated like a king. I am a fan of mental illness labels for this reason. Had he not been diagnosed, he would most likely have been punished rather than receiving the help he needed, or we would have been given enough hostility for us to pull him out of school completely.
The label helps me know why I struggle. It’s nice to have a name for a problem. To me, it is like another diagnosis for a chronic disease. I’ll take bipolar over some other diseases! Though it’s still annoying. Thanks for the article!
I agree labels are important and I want to know mine. I just don’t want it to become the exclusive definition of who I am or the excuse people use to blame everything on me.
I too struggle a lot with the label. I am about to quit a job due to a hostile environment and a double work load. I’m having to tiptoe around why as I initially was just needing a break while switching meds…they are all dying to know why and what is wrong with me. If they choose to, they can find out the doctor writing my medical leave letter is a psychiatrist and then they will tell everybody. That will make life very hard for me to get another job if I chose to go back to work elsewhere in my asme field. Bad enough I have a mental illness, I cannot believe the reaction if they were ever to learn I was bipolar. I don’t have a problem with the diagnosis or label myself, nothing I can do about it. But, I have to be so very careful with who knows any of my business. I cover it at work by being a type A who is also OCD, a workaholic…great cover for being manic and a perfectionist. I find the word bipolar to be a dangerous label, at least for me.
Judy,
I tried an experiment a few years back and when asked what I had , I said I had a genetic disease and the response was 180% different than me saying I am bipolar… The work rules have changed. The medical rules have changed. Not in our favor.
That is my new go-to expression for “bipolar disorder”. Thanks!
Any label is treated negatively in the United States of America. It is treated negatively anywhere on the Earth as well. A prospective employer is more inclined to hire a convicted murderer than any person who freely admits to having a “mental disorder or illness.” That’s just how it is. Thus, I have to ask what world you are living in, and how does anyone make any kind of living therein? The right answer–and the only answer–is that you don’t, and that you have to be on some form of disability–and the government form is the kinds that leads the quickest and most permanently to permanent poverty. As it is impossible these days or next thereto to get out of financial poverty in the United States, one can presume that all the foregoing are not extremely positive outcomes. I solicit the thoughts of anyone in this regard, and pray for a civil discussion.
Jeff,
I wholeheartedly agree. Unless your family have means to help you, poverty is in the cards. I was an executive of a public company when I got struck down.. Fortunately I was able to take care of my family for almost 15 years with selling my stock, redeeming IRA and 401ks early.. I am running out of money fast.. Health insurance and paying for people in the mental hell industry who don’t take insurance cost me close to 300,000 if not more. I am now staring at the unthinkable. We were born innocent and yet pay a heavy price in relationships, finances and lost friends and families and in many cases homelessness or worse. Because the system is being deteriorated heavily by lack of state funding and local issues the safest place to be for many that will keep a roof over their shoulders and be fed is prison and we all know that a major portion of the prison population have mental injuries. What adds injury to insult is the fact that so many who cannot work have to file for disability many many times before getting accepted if they are. Many dont.. Forget about us. Look what they are doing to our returning troops.. They are saluted when they go to war and are kicked in the ass when they come home with PTSD and other injuries. Our society is a sick society with a massive amount of Empathy deficit. There is some real bad karma out ther. We as a society will pay a big price.. Meanwhile we have to focus on donald trump and a stupid flag instead of the homeless and the sick… I fear for the future of my family. i dont know what to do on top being so ill. I know many of you including Natasha are quite young but let me tell you, it doesn’t get better as you age..We are here to make the mental hell industrial complex hundreds of billions of dollars feeding us “cocktails and charging us a fortune to find help .I wish us all peace. In a previous post Natasha talked about vacations.. Whats a vacation?
Michael,
I really liked your experiment where you stated you had a genetic disease and received an empathetic response for a change. It’s only been in recent years that I became so fed up with the stigma that I began telling people I’m disabled by a neurological disorder. Both our statements are true, and I’d like to start combining them, if you don’t mind. My new thing will be to tell people I have a genetic neurological disorder. I’m really done trying to explain BP to folk – in one ear…no one even wants to comprehend. Most come to the table with preconceived notions – the very definition of prejudice.
In employment, BP was used against me several times by Admin., when they wished to whitewash things, i.e. overlook my input or opinion on a particular issue or patient. (I worked as an RN most often – also was a Cert. Res. Real Estate Appraiser for a decade.) There was nothing wrong with my perception 99% of the time when I was working – at the first hint of illness (usually problems concentrating,) I would tell my employer I was having a problem, get a note from my Pdoc, and request a couple of weeks off. I always felt I had to work twice as hard as any other nurse though, just to prove myself – perhaps some of that was self inflicted. I AM an overachiever and want everything completed and done properly – I really did work harder than most of my peers. I was always staying late to clean up their gaffes and sloppiness.
So, you’ve really had an awful time of it for the past 15+ years, and worry about a financially bleak future – me too. We’re both in our early 60’s, so our work lives are pretty much over or very limited. I’m still trying to think of ways to generate income – have some ideas, but that’s another story.
Perhaps Michael, you and I should try to feel grateful that we (at least) had some career/money making opportunities in our younger years, that we have some disability income now that (at least) keeps a roof over us, that we both have spouses who must (for some strange reason) still love us, and most importantly, we have our children – decent futures for them are the most we can hope for…maybe that’s not so bad, right? I’ve read so many horror stories on these blogs. So, let’s be grateful today Michael (and I am soooo NOT normally a grateful oriented person!)
As for the fact that yes, we were all born innocent, yet have been dumped with so much to bear, I cannot help but think of the words of the late, great Freddie Mercury:
“I’ve paid my dues, time after time:
I’ve done my sentence, but committed no crime.
And bad mistakes, I’ve made a few;
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I’ve made it through…
and I’m going to go on and on and on and on…..”
So Michael, let’s you and I continue to muddle through as best we can. Let’s focus on our offspring growing older in a more decent and compassionate world, whatever that takes.
I wish you and your family health and peace.
Patricia Louise.
I am very thankful for your response. You have gone through much. We all have. Suffice it to say I have been on that roller coaster ride emotionally and physically far too long and it takes its toll. The meds have affected me physically and I can be in deep trouble. Liver, Kidneys, heart and now My psych doctor promised me it wouldn’t happen but I, according to recent blood tests just went over into the diabetic range. You do know we should be living stress free lives and yet the stress keeps pouring on me. Triggers everywhere. My biggest fear is that my beautiful son of 26 will get this horrific disease. I dont know about you but when I am manic and I then crash its brutal and all the demons come out and whether the fears and anxieties are not true, they are true for me. You do not know my whole story but I was doomed when I was younger than 5.I Scraped my way to the top with such difficulty thinking I have done it in spite of the burdens of my childhood and this happens. Yes, you quoted Freddy Mercury and those words are powerful , but look what happened to him. Again.. Thank you kindly and I wish you peace and love.
Michael, I have a very earnest question that you may not wish to answer? Do you think your wife will disappear when all the money is gone. I’m beginning to think against all my best instincts taht most women are far more interested in money then anything else. Not just millions plus but just survival money. In the same vein against my highest wishes I again am starting to believe my ex. reaaly deep down was expecting just my success financially and otherwise and she just bailed early. I also suspect if money suddenly appeared she would be in love again. Women think men care only think of sex and physical attractiveness and that isn’t at all the full story with me. I’m beginning to think the money and/or the social acceptability is most if not all she cares about.
I respect your opinion greatly and still and always hope you can feel better. You friend in Scranton
Will,
hi there Will, my man from the north. Will my wife disappear after the money is gone? Nope. ANd I can say that with sincerity. We have been together for so many years and I have put her through so much. and I feel terribly guilty for bringing this curse of a disease and its complexities and co-morbidities upon her and my son ( he flew 3.000 miles yesterday to spend time with me and I am so damn happy. First time I smiled since I last saw him). I read somewhere that the divorce rate is 95%. I can understand why. We all know that if one partner is depressed for a long time the other one is now apt to be. My anxiety levels are so high but she is working for herself to not have them. She is a very successful person in her field and can leave me anytime, help sell the house and make it on her own albeit it would be very difficult. She knows that I have not worked for 16 years and have supported her and my son with the income I had made,etc paying for college and grad school, mortgage, cars, health insurance and medical bills which is one heck of a lot of money. She also knows that I have done everything I can do keep up the fight and if she were in my position I would not abandon her. We are working on plans so that we don’t become destitute. Her company isnt doing well and the position she has is not easy to get with other companies in the area becuase of age discrimination, and lack of opportunity. Her position usually gets outsourced . So, we are in this together and fight the fight together. She knows that I sold my car 7 years ago becuase of the expense and the damn toxic little pills have turned me into a zombie and I fear hurting someone if I drive. She knows that I am home alone most of the time. She knows the agony I go through. She knows that she has lost forever the person I was, but she also knows what this relationship stands for. Will the money run out? We take it day by day and for someone like me many times hour by hour . She also knows the toll it has taken on me physically. My liver taking the brunt of toxic pills, a kidney in trouble, heart issue becuase of the meds and now even though Our Psych doctor told us it wouldn’t happen I have entered diabetes land. How long will it be before I wear out completely. I told her to find someone else and I would be ok with it. I have told her to think about herself first. We are in some ways past the part of her leaving me. Too good of a friendship. When she took her vows to obey and to love and cherish till death to us part , she didn’t add the 2 words, if convenient. Neither did I. One thing she has learned from me is her business skills. She never had to work before I got taken down We got crushed and so now she can hold her own. That makes me happy. We are taking steps to insure that she won’t become homeless if she loses her position. I am positive she will be ok financially with the help of a family member she would have to move in with. He has told her so. As for me I just want to make it until I am 66 ( 5 years away) which sounds so short a time but each day for me feels like a month becuase I cycle every day and the loneliness is beyond words. Nothing good will come of this and if anybody thinks that life will be great in the twilight years, they are either a member of the lucky sperm club or are in a stage of denial and are in hope mode. She is a realist. She also knows that somehow we will keep on going and she too is taking steps but she won’t leave. I want to. She didn’t sign up for this. However I cant becuase one drug I am on which is a benz is damn near impossible to get off and I have tried twice to titrate over the course of 4 years and have ended up in serious physical condition as a result. So she has to be here for me to make sure I am on my meds. She knows I will either go into coma or die a horrible death if I cannot have that little white pill that has taken over . I am rambling, but deep in my heart I know she won’t leave her best buddy. The situation we are in is so surreal but we are fighters. She knows I have lost all my dignity and how it has transformed me from a successful executive with friend and family surrounding me asking me for money etc to a broken man who can no longer even get a phone call from all those family members and or friends. I have been abandoned. Wa re 2 people disowned by many becuase of the stigma..She knows it. She has a big heart. We will figure out a way and not base it on hope but reality to somehow get through this. She knows it would also destroy my 25 year old who is making a name for himself in his profession in Silicon Valley. Will, she is being tested daily and no one knows what will happen tomorrow but deep in my heart I know she will not leave me. Its the opposite. I dont want to cause her any more pain. The guilt I feel is beyond words.
I thank you more then you know Michael for your very honest and heartfelt reply. I know you are an atheist/agnostic like me though my expression of it may have pointed you in a different direction. To me it isn’t faith or even hope. It’s just some sort of wish I know the odds are as close to zero as possible. Like in Calculus limits and so on. Same in a way as asking for a woman without greed and so on maybe.
I same as you if even found a fantastic woman as you have would most likely wish her more then anything to leave for her own good. I also wouldn’t want to hurt such a fine woman. You do have a son involved though and that complicates it a little. Having said all that just having a woman like that regardless of all else would give me more faith in love and kindness then I currently have or have ever had.
As you already know you are an extremely lucky man. I don’t need to tell you that. It’s just sometimes I just wonder if all women just want money and success. When I was younger I was a tall, thin (when I got control of my weight), Anglo-Saxon male, protestant, from family on my mothers side going back at least to 1658 from Europe. Green eyes, blond then brown hair. 3.87 gpa of 4.0 @ university. I did nothing in HS but began in college to take it seriously. I was poor as hell but thought I could make a future for myself. The poverty along with the BP stopped me dead in my tracks. I’m not mentioning the ancestry etc. for any thing other then the privilege I may have been met with being of that background.
I now live in a housing project in which I can’t even admit to with “good people”. I use my mothers address still on my drivers license for car ins. and i.d. reasons. When pulled over here with this address you are summarily considered guilty of some crime. Civil rights are not on the table. Also treatment from my family is similar to yours. My immediate family just treats me as a lost soul and relegates me to the position of a moron who is deluded into thinking he has a valid pt. on anything in the world. Regardless of how unfair through whatever political lens the US is I deserve not so much as a voice opinion in anything as I don’t work. Although I do my best on the side to bring in some cash. Financially I haven’t cost my family one red cent ever. In fact, I’ve repaired many autos for free, have fixed countless computers, phones, cleaned basements, trips to lumber yards to set straight broken windows and so on and so on. Shoveled snow and cars. Chipped ice off sidewalks etc.,etc. all with a bad congenital spine and the BP. Still I am S___. I have zero value as a human being. Even though I haven’t paid a mechanic (except for 40$ because had to sell air-compressor and anxiety-I usually repair things late at night to avoid the social anxiety) for many, many years and do all my own car repairs regardless of complexity, no garage and little tools. I am forever made to feel guilty for having a car. Having a motorcycle, even though the ins. was only $75.00 per. year and the bike cost a few hundred and I repaired it in my own living room was considered a luxury beyond immagination to some of my relatives. See I don’t deserve any pleasure or my own transportation. It doesn’t matter that I was using it at one pt. to drive 5 or so miles in the middle of January in the snow to go to classes at a local technical school (of which I graduated 2nd. in my class) for a welding, hydraulic, electronic, machinist, pneumatic industrial certificate. None of it matters. A cookie is a luxury we don’t deserve.
The worst is my aunt by marriage. My fathers younger brothers wife. My uncle also had no financial breaks but was a white man, with an Welsh surname etc., yet my grandfather was a very, very poor coal miner who was buried in a cave in for 3-1/2 days and had black lung while young. Unlike VP Biden who BS’d the whole country about his family being coal miners. They were privileged and lived in the best part of town. My uncle got a job in a factory after being a medic in the army and managed to save and invest his money and retired with 3-4 million $. My aunt did nothing and shes a strict Catholic. And she hates the poor. Especially her nephew the old Eagle Scout (ME). Every year at the family gathering in the country at my other aunts house she spends basically five hours finding new ways to insult me and degrade me. All in the name of Jesus of course. She accusingly asked me since I don’t work how did I get the money for an e-gig. She never worked a day in her life and was very kind to me as a child.
Again your very lucky Michael. Tell your wife I said so. Excuse me for the rambling. Wish I had found a good woman and had a couple children. There is much shame also in not being good enough to have a woman care about you. There is the loneliness but compounded with the shame of not having anything to offer at least in our society creates a synergistic effect of being a total low life. Still hope to meet you some day Michael but I do know how it is. Thanks for listening my friend from the south and as always I wish you well though it maybe empty, I still do. WN
I agree with Natasha. But what I want to point out is the difference between diagnosis and labelling. A diagnosis of bipolar is made by a psychiatrist or other professional. The reason for the diagnosis is to figure out how best to treat the illness, what the prognosis of the illness is, and to inform research for bipolar disorder. The diagnosis becomes a label when it is used for administrative purposes, and it becomes a label when given to members of the public such as your family, friends, employment, university, whatever. The reason that bipolar becomes a label in the minds of the public is that the public do not actually need to know the diagnosis for reasons of treatment. The public hear this label and it means different things to different people. If you want to be treated differently because of your diagnosis, then give the name of this diagnosis to the public so it becomes your label.
It is the same for any condition. My husband had a transplant. What ‘transplant’ means to the doctors is quite different from what it means to the public. ‘Transplant’ is quite an alarming medical term for most people. We don’t tell anyone who doesn’t need to know otherwise he will be treated differently because of it. It would be quite stupid to say “There shouldn’t be transplant stigma so we are going to tell any or all of his employers and work colleagues about it and stick it to them if he gets fired.” We can’t just go around trying to give out pamphlets to people that explain that his transplant will last for twenty years at least and he is just like a normal person.
Use your discretion people. Nobody understands bipolar. Don’t let it become your limiting label. Use your own name as your label, the person who you are.
Everyone with a MI should see the movie gattica. WN
Come on Natasha, You know better then that. I have a relative and I won’t say who in any way not just because of todays technology but for the technology yet to come in the next say 65 years or more according to projectected life expecencies. This relative is young and has full honors in every aspect of their education until now and is now seeking to rise the level of their education to a higher level. Scholarships, maybe govt. ones, medical interviews and tests just for this year. The ones to come in the future in their case may be many and widespread and may involve so much more (although not in this case think maybe astronaut). Admitting BP or any MI would ruin this career either now or in the future. Unless you believe stigma will somehow disappear overnight. I’m a heterosexual man and fought for gay rights as well as US murder overseas in my university days and I paid for it severely. I’m BP and am totally out of the closet (no-insult but you are not) but this relative of mine and this commenter may not be so privelidged as to say what she wishes. Reality will slap us in the face every time. This relative of mine has cut themself where it isn’t obvious with clothes on but I hope through physicals etc. rear it’s ugly consequenses. I love this person very much and have told them cash is king for personal off the books medical consultation. A physicial in the family would be even better. Also medications (drugs) can be had for a price under the table as they say. I can also say if this person faces any problems because of these reason I’ll do ANYTHING I can to stop it. ANYTHING. WN
It suits you to tout yourself with the label Bipolar because well… you have a blog, you speak at seminars, you write articles, etc…
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2006 I felt a “light” go off within my spirit… it was right, finally, the right diagnosis and I told all and every person around me. It got me nothing and no where and a lot of flack from the psychotherapist I was actually seeing who finally said – quite loudly – “maybe you should stop ramming it down everyone’s throat for a while!” when no one seemed to be interested in knowing what the docs had decided, that was right.
Since… Employers that have found out, have quietly (and some not so) figured ways to “let me go” or work me out of jobs. Any issue, was seen as a liability.. while before disclosure… was seen excellent, my work ethic never questioned.
Forget doctors for “other services”… I have Bipolar, I have a long psych history stretching back to my early childhood… I am not taken seriously. Everything is circumspect, assigned the psychosomatic label.. no one wants to even minutely entertain the thought that maybe – just maybe something might be wrong… less it clearly show up on a blood or urine test (hypertension, etc.)…
Let it be Carpal Tunnel, Seizures, etc. and it’s all deeply held psychological trauma manifesting..
Finally; I do not declare myself Bipolar. I have enough people who find out, who do that for me.
I tell, if I tell, that I HAVE Bipolar because once you say that YOU ARE… often times, you are reduced to that picture, that stigma, that image and you are less who you actually are… a human. Any emotion, feeling, response or reaction is all Bipolar… when perhaps, it or they may just be…. human.
Yes, Tabby and the minute you rebel against the sterotype verbally that is used as proof that you were unstable to begin with. The transplant coordinators team @ a Philadelphia hospital (that was later caught being a party to illegal donors for cash from Israel) did this very thing to me. I got angry because after five trips to Philadelphia for tests and the surgury already planned (they knew I had bi-polar to begin with) my complaint in being denied the right to save my friends life was denied due to me being unfit do to anger problems. I was to accept the death of my best friend and say noting. I wasn’t allowed to be angry because I was BP. Other then my friend not getting a Kidney the worse part was that the transplant team told my friend in private that I had changed my mind. They did the same thing they do but in reverse when someone actually does change their mind. So they saved face, made me look like a back-stabbing ass and denied my friend the kidney he needed to save his life. All very neat and all the holes filled. Blame the whole thing on an incopetant individual with BP and label him a loose cannon and all is well. Protection from lawsuits, moral accountability, and responsibility. I was the only one gaining nothing and risking my life and I took all the flak from all sides. Those nurses and councellors were the worst kind of scum I could ever imagine. The woman (Natasha wouldn’t let me give her name) hasn’t had the ba___ to respond to me since. I’ve contacted her since with her new job with children since (god help those poor children) and she’s still a coward who blames victims. And her ass still smells like roses and I’m the evil one. This is why among other thing will never again give nurses, Drs., police or anyone else claiming moral superiority any benifit of the dought. Earn respect or you get none of it from me. None. I will assume you work for your reputation (usually made illegitimately) and not your patients.
when dealing with many doctors becuase of what some of theses meds have done to my liver, kidneys , heart and now possibly diabetes I am no longer going to say bipolar becuase 2 out of 4 treated me with disdain and stigma. Just went to a gastro doctor for my liver enzyme testing and I knew him personally and told him about my bipolar in confidence and I went to the doctors portal for the people who can make appointments etc and there it was, put on the system less than 5 hours after I talked to him that. I have bipolar 1 and when the nurse asked me for my meds that I am on because I am also getting a procedure which will require them knocking me out I told her what drugs I am on and she looked at me and asked me what for and I said I don’t want to talk about it and she looked at me with disdain. . Nope. I have a genetic disorder gets empathy and no stigma rather than saying I have bipolar. Just my view and I have been bipolar 1 for a very long time.
Glad to hear from you Michael. I would ask you how you are feeling but I guess you have made that clear. Still hope you can and do it the future. What’s this Drs. portal that outed you speak of? Don’t think I understand?
Absolutely right about the treatment you get even (especially?!) in the medical community when you are even suspected of having a MI. I have on my chart that I am alergic to Haldol (it was given to me by a vindictive cruel M.D. who spoke virtually no English and said I was Schizophrenic-I have never ever had a single Schizophrenic simptom-an ER nurse 25 years later even tried to convince me I was-suppose I was hiding the non-existent auditory hallucinations and so on. I suspect I am also allergic or oversensistive also of all the drugs in the Haldol family so I just say it. It’s also as told Natasha how easy it is to make your own opinions on things make it into the record as if you were diagnosed as such. Seeing Haldol allergy is interpreted as, I needed it (even though dr didnt speak my language enough to even be treating me (if I mention that then Im racist-see seinfeld episode on medical records), im lying aboutg bad reactions and I AM scizophrenic. Plus so much more. You can always see the look cant you when they first see the records. They scan you to see if you may lash out for no reason and strike them. Some even get up to open the door. I had one er doctor do both plus instructed me to take off my ring, watch, keys etc. before he would treat me for a pain in my spine Ive had since a kid. I dont want to fulfil the twist but this drs family was very questionalbe in my parts. Sorry cant mention name Natasha is watching. Sorry about spelling, punc, etc but in a lot of pain tonight . the back is really hurting. I must say though I am very lucky to have a good pcp. I think the best in the state of pa and suspect more awards will be coming his way. A good man all around.
I’m with ya!
I AM Bipolar.
I HAVE Bipolar Disorder
And there is NOTHING wrong with that.
No shame.
You are right that it is only negative because society says it is.
So let’s OWN it.
Let’s make it OURS not theirs.
The word itself is not an accurate description of the disorder but they will change it again someday.
I think Bipolar sounds sexier than Manic Depressive.
But that’s just me
wink
I agree Patricia. While I know not to judge myself for the label, there simply is too much stigma and a lack of awareness about the condition to make the label comfortable. “Bipolar” is often used as an insult much like “gay” and while our national political conversation supports the proper thinking for homosexuals, there is no such relief for the manic depressives.
I hate the Bipolar label. I find it HAS become a pejorative label in itself, as well as a poorly understood diagnosis which lacks credibility among the public & even medical folk.
When I was diagnosed with manic depression and psychosis in 1989, no one said, “Oh yeah, a lot of people have that – it’s no big deal.” Nor, “Isn’t everyone just a little bit manic depressive?” In fact, no one said much at all…conversations stopped when I entered a room. You know what? I’ll take the silence over the offensive comments I’ve been subjected to ever since the name of my illness changed to something that sounds airy, ethereal and light.
It is a dark and painful illness which has drained me physically, emotionally, financially and caused enormous stress in my employment, for my family and friends (many from whom I’ve distanced myself from due to their callousness towards myself and my son with BP.)
No, I think the label “Bipolar” was a poor diagnostic choice. This is a Neurological illness we have, and it needs to named as such…or the pervasive stigma will never go away. In my 26 years with this illness, I have only witnessed the stigma getting worse, not better. That’s not solely because of the name – the “so-called” media in the US bears much of the blame. Yet, I think the flighty name “bipolar” is also counterproductive to erasing stigma.
Patricia Louise
I am with you completely and have had it with the reactions and stigma as if I am a leper in some cases. I have not even told my snooty neighbors who think of me as a fat drunk (thanks to the meds)who doesn’t work becuase he is lazy. Nope. I dont need anymore drama in my life. I am hanging on dearly for I have BP1 and complex PTSD and I dont need the BS from many in the medical profession.
Patricia Louise – I wholeheartedly agree with you.
I hate the label and the stigma that goes along with it. I moved to small community where MI is looked down upon, you’re crazy, and as a weakness. Just pray it away.
People are nosey and gossip in this community. I don’t even like BP diagnosis in my family doctor’s file. When I go to other doctors or the ER, I don’t admit I have BP or list all the medications I’m on for BP, because if they are smart enough they can figure out I have BP.
To get Medicaid, the mental health clinic has to fill out yearly a form to prove I’m still disabled and why, so more people not in the medical field know I’m BP. Even though I’ve been receiving Social Security Disability for over 12 years. So a lot of people outside the medical field know I have BP, they know me, but I don’t know them.
Now I need to go to another counseling clinic, not specializing in mental health, so even more non-medical people are going to know I have BP.
I hate the label and stigma that goes along with MI and BP!
Sorry Maria. They know anyway. Just the truth. No paranoia. They know, medical privacy is just a myth. WN
will nist – Agree that medical privacy is a myth, but I do suffer from paranoia at times and it makes it worse. Feels like the whole community knows I have a MI, but I don’t know anything about them.
Sorry Maria but you are not paranoid at all in this case and you are quite right. Anyone can get your medical records who wishes to. Just always understand whatever you say to any Dr. can be obtained with little effort and a couple dollars. Any one here dis agree’s just say so and sign a waiver and give me a few bucks and I’ll get the records. Due to not wanting to buy in batches it will be harder to just obtain one individuals records. I believe in privacy (the law is irrelevant to me) so I would never do so without consent. WN
Will and Maria
Forget about privacy. On at least 3 occasions my private medical records about My Bipolar injury have been compromised, so there are many more I would think.. I am on Lamictal and within a few weeks of being prescribed it a rep from the pharma company called me to discuss it and asked if I had any questions with regard to the drug. I was mortified. One of my doctors uses a patient tracking system. I thought It was a proprietary system that his practice of 12 doctors had written for them. I was given a password to access the system to get scripts sent to me, view appointments , etc. Mind you he is an endocrinologist and has nothing to do with my psych med or condition and when I got on the system it listed the meds I was on and one other word , bipolar. I was pissed after reading that the software was not their but another company’s who they used an in the terms and conditions it plainly stated about sharing my data or selling it to 3d parties. I immediately called up the office and told them that to send my records, take me of the system and verify it to me and I no longer go to their practice. I just came back 2 days ago from having a procedure done at a hospital and they went over what meds I was taking and then said I was bipolar. I almost got up off the table. I told the anesthesiologist that I was not bipolar and she shrugged. Apparently in confidence I told the doctor of my issue under the strictest of confidence becuase he was a friend and he was concerned as to how I was looking. He promised never to discuss it with any one else. He is a gastro doctor . Apparently he did write down our conversation and that’s how the anesthesiologist found out. Now its in the hospital’s computer system and who knows where it will end up insurance companies especially health and disability and life insurance companies started a company many many years ago that stores all of one’s health data. It is called MIB or the Medical Information bureau. So, if any of you disclosed to a disability or life insurance company, etc about your BP it will be in the system. You can get a copy of your records under some law by contacting them through the web. Also, if your company is self insured meaning they would pay for lets say the first 25,000 dollars of your medical bills and then a traditional health insurance company steps in , the bills for services go to your company becuase they pay it. A 3rd party administers this and the bills aren’t supposed to have much in the way of specifics but we all know they talk and your specifics in some if not a lot of companies are compromised.
So, big pharma, hospitals and doctors that have your data are all talking to each other and selling your data. If any of you want to see if the psych doctor you are seeing is on the take from big pharma just go to this link and put in your doctor’s name and see what pops out. You may be surprised that the med you are prescribed i from a pharma company that is paying of your doctor no longer straight out cash , but for speaking fees and some beautiful resort, consulting fees, etc . By law it has to now be disclosed. The database is always being updated… I found out a psych doctor of mine received over the course of time I was with him (becuase I fired him shortly after reading the results) that he was given over $145,000……https://projects.propublica.org/docdollars/
Privacy? Just an illusion. HIPPA? read the documents you sign at a doctors office carefully and the Hippocratic oath got thrown out the door years ago. Used to be on doctors walls. I now call it the Hipocracy oath. If insurance is reimbursing them for services they have to send in a code for what they are charging you for. Same with the pharmaceuticals the meds you are being given from the pharmacy.. I can’t even be completely honest with my therapist about how I feel becuase they have the power to have me put in the psych ward if they feel I am considered a high risk by them. Welcome to the Mental Hell System.