There is this concept of “bipolar pride” or “borderline pride” or “mad pride” or “whatever-mental-illness pride.” I see it on people’s avatars, Facebook pages and whatnot. For some reason, people want to declare their bipolar and say they’re proud of it? I, for one, and not “proud” of bipolar and do not exhibit bipolar pride in any way.
Being Proud of Bipolar
I don’t think bipolar is anything to be proud of. Bipolar disorder is an illness. You didn’t ask for it; you can’t control it; you just got it. It’s like saying “brown eyes pride.” You’re proud of your genetics? If you say so. Not to mention the fact that there is no such this as “other illness” pride. When was the last time you hear of “cancer pride?”
Now, I may be proud of myself, proud of Natasha, and Natasha happens to have bipolar disorder, but that’s not nearly the same thing. I am not proud of the disease that afflicts me, I am proud of how I handle it.
Bipolar Shame
Of course, I think people proclaim “bipolar pride” in attempt to defeat the shame that some people feel around bipolar disorder and mental illnesses. I get that. No one with bipolar disorder, or any mental illness, should feel ashamed. Again, it’s very much like being ashamed of brown eyes or cancer. It’s silly.
Bipolar Pride Is not the Opposite of Bipolar Shame
But bipolar pride is not the opposite of bipolar shame – acceptance is. And I believe once you truly come to accept bipolar disorder, or any mental illness, and feel secure in that acceptance, you no longer need to wear a “pride” banner. That “pride” banner is like screaming, “Accept me! Accept me!” when really you need to be worried about accepting yourself.
Because an illness – whether it be an overgrowth of dangerous cancer cells or bad circuitry in the brain – is nothing to be proud of. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just a thing. Just a thing about you. Instead of being proud of a thing, how about just being proud of you?
Because the more we place distance between ourselves and everyone else by proclaiming some sort of proprietary pride, the less likely we all are to see our similarities and realize that people all have things. Our thing just happens to be a brain disorder called bipolar.
So lose the catchy “bipolar pride” phrase and do the much harder work of educating everyone about the realities of mental illness. That’s what will break down barriers, not slogans.
When society no longer discriminates against us is when my pride flag gets put away and not a moment sooner.
Natasha, why do you keep referring to bipolar as genetic? This has never been proven. On the contrary, there have been many studies linking all forms of mental illness to early childhood trauma, or trauma later in life. I, for one, AM proud; proud of finally freeing myself of a disempowering label; proud of taking control of my life instead of numbing every uncomfortable emotion; Proud to say I am a survivor. That being said, there might be a small percentage of people whose mental issues are a result of genetics, but scientists have yet to prove this.
hi Tas,
I think that the genetic reference is merely to the SUSCEPTBILITY to becoming bipolar. The trauma that you refer to seems to be considered as the TRIGGER that causes bipolar to take effect.
But I think the thing to bear in mind is that it’s NOT an exact science. We simply don’t know enough yet to understand what causes bipolar. If we did thhen we would be a lot closer to curing it with absolute success. So while there may be no concrete evidence that categorically proves whether bipolar is caused by genetic or environmental influences, there also doesn’t appear to be anything to suggest that bipolar is NOT caused by these influences.
So we just have to keep an open mind and accept that the causes and effects may well be generic but can all specific to the individual.
All of that aside: a BIG pat on the back for your attitude to addressing your own issues. Somehow, this is what we need to inspire all with mental illness to do: find a way to own the issue, find a way to beat it and come out on top. But as we all know, that’s easier said than done. So well done on finding a way that worked for you :)
Hi David,
Thank you for the accolades :) According to the gene theory, I just wasn’t genetically strong enough to handle physical, sexual and emotional abuse. So, if I didn’t have the mental illness gene, child abuse wouldn’t have had any negative effects on my mood, emotions/thoughts and self worth? I just would have been like “wow, that was really cool. Isn’t life just awesome! I feel so safe and loved” And be on my merry way to becoming a well adjusted individual? Well, damn those genes!
TAS,
I have complex PTSD and firmly believe that my bipolar disorder is directly related to the horrific child abuse and the massive anxiety which has stayed with me since maybe 5 years old.
This man is one of the “experts” in PTSD… However what he writes rings true for me and many others…
“Renowned traumatologist, John Briere, is said to have quipped that if Complex PTSD were ever given its due – that is, if the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized, the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used by all mental health professionals) would shrink to the size of a thin pamphlet. It currently resembles a large dictionary. In my experience, many clients with Complex PTSD have been misdiagnosed with various anxiety and depressive disorders, as well as bipolar, narcissistic, codependent and borderline disorders. Further confusion arises in the case of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), as well as obsessive/compulsive disorder, which is sometimes more accurately described as an excessive, fixated flight response to trauma. This is also true of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and some dissociative disorders which are similarly excessive, fixated freeze responses to trauma”……http://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html
Michael,
Thank you for the link. For years I felt I was suffering from ptsd; initially from childhood abuse and then psychiatric abuse. Getting in touch with my anger in healthy ways, like boxing and other vigorous exercise, has helped tremendously. And i learned to treat myself with the respect and love I always deserved but didn’t receive from my parents and the psychiatric industry. Recovery is not easy; it takes time and patience, but it is very possible. All my best to you :)
For some of us, bipolar runs down our family lines as clearly as the predisposition for strokes. My family’s bipolar issue is 4 generations of wreckage. Both of my siblings and myself, almost all of my cousins, my mother and her 3 siblings, her father and his sister, my great grandmother. In my family, it’s unavoidable. I chose to not have children because of the serious predisposition to bipolar. There may not be any better science about the genetics of bipolar than there is science to explain why some drugs work better for some than others. That doesn’t change the obviously genetic source of bipolar in my family.
Hi Deirdre, sorry to hear about your family history. Perhaps all the bipolar symptoms that run rampant in your family have nothing to do with genetics. The trauma of being raised by an emotionally/mentally unstable person is enough to trigger emotional/mental instability in children , regardless of the children being biological or not. And the trauma is passed down from generation to generation, until someone conciously breaks the cycle.
Hi Tas, I’ve read lots of your posts this past week, and I wish your dog a speedy recovery.
If I understand you correctly, here’s what I’ve learned from your posts :
You seem to comprehend your MI symptoms as stemming from childhood neglect, abuse and acute family instability – the likelihood of complex PTSD rings true for you. You believe genetic influences are not at play in your family, your BP symptoms were caused by SSRIs, and that you may not truly have BP. You link “all forms of MI to early childhood trauma, or trauma later in life.” Your posts prove you resistant to suggestions about the high probability of genetic involvement in MI, as your response to Deirdre illustrates. I’d like you to consider something…
While you seem adamant that childhood trauma, rather than MI, is the root cause of your illness, and that genetics for MI are not in play in your family, and are rarely in play for anyone…I’d like you consider that these two life trajectories are not mutually exclusive, i.e. it’s not necessarily an “either or situation.”
Some posters on the Burble and elsewhere attribute their BP to childhood trauma, then are dismissive of the notion there was BP in their family histories.
I think some posters don’t realize that the irresponsible, reckless, inept, abusive and unloving parent(s) they had were suffering from undiagnosed MI. Thus, many people do, most likely, have a genetic predisposition to MI – it then comes out very young when a child is subjected to the trauma of such poor parenting. So that’s what I mean by these two issues not being mutually exclusive. Would you consider that it’s possible you could have been genetically predisposed to MI, then became symptomatic due to your childhood trauma? You admit to being raised by an “emotionally/mentally unstable person.” Yet, you seem unwilling to consider that you might have inherited a MI gene from that parent, or more likely, genetic deletion sequences on a few of your chromosomes.
Tas, Patricia Louise articulated my response far better than I would ever have the patience to. My bipolar, malignant narcisissist of a mother destroyed my life for 37 years. I don’t totally buy your trauma explaination for the meds in my family. My mother was raised the same as her maternal step sister. Why is my mother batshit crazy and her sister fine? You have no place tellinge why bipolar abounds in my messed up mother’s line. My own mother has no excuse for the abuse and neglect she gave to me. I personally suggest you keep you theories to your own family and leave mine out. You don’t know what you’re talking about about genetics. You want to trade credentials? I study my disease constantly, but my PTSD is just comorbid with the bipolar. Get it straight.
Deirdre,
I am not looking for an argument at all. I would just like to add a few things . I have studied this BP malady for years .My abuse started way before I was 5. A nationally known hypnotherapist worked with me and regressed me, etc and after a few sessions said to my wife that she could no longer treat me becuase what happened to me was at a much younger age than 5 and she was not competent to deal with any issues if I recalled them and took a turn for the worse.The abuses were horrific. Back when I was 14 or so I was taken to the doctor I went to the doctor after the 4th try at someone trying to kill me. Science does tell us that when a child is growing their brain is growing with the major years being 2 and 14 and not fully develop until 24. I am 61. I have looked back into what happened especially since the internet provides us with so much information. Yes I believe that genes in a multitude of situations are responsible for this illness. But I also believe in my heart that becuase of my anxiety and depression which led to other co-morbidities which I want to keep private I came down as a result with a bipolar illness. Did my parents have it? None of them ever showed the symptoms of BP and I truly believe did not have BP. My mother was not wacko at all, rather pretty meek and used emotional abuse as her weapon. I never ever saw depression in my father at all.. I tell you this becuase it all leads to this and I stick up for no one on this board in this heated discussion……..I believe ther is truth on both sides
Emotional Abuse in Childhood Linked to Bipolar Disorder…… Article in Medscape…Emotional abuse experienced in childhood, especially in children aged 5 years and younger, confers an increased risk for bipolar disorder, new research shows.”Our results show the importance of childhood trauma, not only as a risk factor for bipolar disorders per se but also for a more severe clinical and dimensional profile of expression of the disorder,” author Monica Aas, PhD, from the University of Oslo, in Norway, told Medscape Medical News.Bipolar disorder is due in part to genetic risk variants, but it is also likely to be due in part to environmental susceptibility factors. Among these, childhood trauma has been proposed as a likely environmental factor, Dr. Aas said.
“We wanted to look into it because we know that patients with bipolar disorder seem to have a high prevalence of childhood trauma, and there is also evidence in the literature that this may be related to clinical symptoms,” she said. Most studies focus on physical and sexual abuse and neglect emotional abuse as a possible contributing factor to the development of bipolar disorders, Dr. Aas added………http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/803269
A history of childhood traumatic experience has been associated with increased vulnerability to multiple mental disorders, including mood disorders and personality disorders.3-5 Etain and colleagues found that a history of 2 or more types of trauma is associated with a 3-fold increase in the risk of bipolar disorder. Prognosis and course of bipolar disorder are worse when there is a history of trauma. Trauma history is associated with earlier onset of bipolar disorder; faster cycling; increased rates of suicide; and more comorbidity, including anxiety disorders, personality disorders, and substance use disorders.7-10
Etain and colleagues have shown that in patients with bipolar disorder, more than 50% report childhood trauma, with a high incidence of emotional abuse; 63% of the patients had experienced 2 or more forms of trauma as well as more severe forms. Conus and colleagues12 found that about 80% of patients with bipolar disorder had experienced at least 1 stressful life event. Among them, 16% had been physically abused, 15% had been sexually abused, 40% had experienced parental separation, and 20% had problems with a partner………
http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/bipolar-disorder/violence-bipolar-disorder
Risk factors that go into developing bipolar disorder include having a relative with the disease, experiencing trauma, or having an existing mental illness like anxiety or depression. f a person already suffers from anxiety, or other mental illnesses like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or social phobia, they may have a higher risk of developing bipolar disorder, according to the NIH. In addition, simply going through stressful experiences, or moments of grief, can increase a person’s risk for bipolar disorder. A 2005 study found that people with bipolar disorder may lose more brain gray matter while aging, and there was less gray matter in the prefrontal brain regions in general. Another study published in the Journal of Neuroscience concluded that indeed, “genetic and phenotype-related influences on brain structure” in bipolar patients was definitely different from healthy people. ….
http://www.medicaldaily.com/what-causes-bipolar-disorder-aside-genes-these-are-things-most-likely-increase-your-322496
There are may scientific studies that i can post that discuss trauma and BP… I can sum it up by saying that when we are born our brains are still growing and the ages of 2 and 14 are ones of increased learning.. Maybe that why they call it the terrible twos and if you can recall 14 year olds do lots of sleeping. I know for certain that the things that happened to me were horrific from an extremely early age into my teens and then came the emotional abuse. I now notice looking back and piecing it all together that I had high anxiety through the roof and massive depression .. It was a perfect cocktail for the life I lead which back then they called manic depression and the name changed later to bipolar disorder.
Was there a gene in my family tree? Could be, I dont know. What I do know is that if my parents were bipolar they were real good at hiding it and I mean real good.
I will not call anyone names nor stop to the levels that certain individuals have and have not responded to. ALl I can offer is that science not only shows genetics playing a roll but abuse and trauma in childhood playing a roll and I cannot nor will not dismiss the genetics becuase We see it everywhere and not just mental illnesses but body types, color of hair, etc.
this is a very heated topic and I would like to think that we can all be civil and look at all sides of the spectrum and not just one becuase we all have had different experiences.
We were all born innocent and for whatever reason have this terrible malady.. I wish all of us peace.
Michael, I’m not trying to fight. I agree with your well researched, sourced information. I appreciate you simply stating fact and not slinging personal opinion. I have read much of the information you have presented myself. All I was saying is that there is a clear genetic issue in my own family. Yes, I was abused and neglected from birth, and I can only speak for myself and the place I came from and the woman I grew into. I would have expressed bipolar symptoms either way, but I do agree that my very early onset, comorbidities, and the severity of some of my episodes are clearly tied to abuse. There are other symptoms that have been made more severe by the wrong medication or stress. We are all individuals, with different factors, symptoms etc. I don’t make assumptions about other people’s issues and only want the same respect back.
Deirdre.
We are on the same page. You and I have researched and studied so much on the topic and quite frankly the research papers and articles, etc in many cases are so different from the last ones I read that sometimes my head spins. In my mind (whats left of it) ther is not one simple answer. I wish there were. It is so personal to people becuase we live with it every day. For one the research on my form of bipolar is very little . I have to live with that fact. One thing I am fascinated with is the brain (gaba receptors and vagus nerve) , gut connection.. I am fascinated as why do so many children have bipolar maladies more than ever nowadays. Can it also be genetic/nutrition based becuase of the brain gut connection and the nasty processed food we eat. Please do some research.. Its fascinating. I am changing my diet and adding certain strains of probiotics to my diet to balance the flora and bacteria in digestive system.Also eating fermented foods… The koreans have very little anxiety and depression. Look at what they eat… I wish you some peace and days of tranquility.. I have missed those days for so many years.
Michael, thank you brother. I do watch my food a bit fanatically. All of my meat is wild, all my veggies and fruit organic. No processed anything. It helps as much as the seroquel I choose to keep. The research can be stunning, but it all makes sense to my scientific mind. I go back to the origins of my MI often. I will never know what is genetic and what is experiential in my generation. There’s a lot to account for and I have a psychiatrist, a talk therapist and an EMDR specialist in my host of healthcare providers. The EMDR is hard going, but I can keep it clear of my daily swing for the most part. Certainly, getting rid of adulterants in my food and cutting my psych meds to a bare minimum has done me well on many accounts. I feel hopeful for the first time in years. My mood seems pretty stable, and I’m losing my lithium weight. I’m not sure what the origin is really matters if you’re willing to go for the best life you can have.
None of my family members, including myself have ever tested positive for the gene that causes mental illness. None of us have tested positive for any chemical imbalance. We have had some problems, difficulties, struggles, life circumstances that were out of our control, like my parents losing a child right before I was born. I was definitely emotionally affected by my parents lack of parenting skills, sometimes a bit abusive and scary, but nope no one in my family has tested positive for any gene that causes bipolar. I”ll gladly sign myself up for the test when it’s available, but for now, nope, I am not genetically predisposed to any mental illness. And psyche drugs just make me lose my mind. They’re not safe for me. But as I said before, if they work for others, I have no problem with that, why would I? they’re just not for me. I had to spend quite sometime in therapy recovering from the side effects of psyche meds; losing your mind on these drugs is very scary and that’s where my ptsd symptoms come from. But thankfully, I’m doing well now. Anyway, thought I”d check out an old Bipolar Blog on my few days off, to see what people are saying these days, and thought maybe I’d offer some advice on my recovery, but I can see that some people on this blog get very annoyed if you disagree with them on a matter. At the end of the day, everyone knows themselves, their own experiences and what’s true for themselves, better than anyone else.
hi Tas,
you say that none of your family members have ever tested positive for the gene that causes mental illness.
I thought that the medical fraternity at large was still undecided as to exactly which genes were the culprits to scan for. Which gene or test exactly have you or your family undergone?
The reality is this: bipolar is complex. Some people’s history shows a very strong case of abusive environmental conditions that would understandably lead to emotional issues. Others have no incidence of trauma. There is no “one-size-fits-all” – whether for the cause or the fix.
To think there is would be, quite simply, naive.
It’s good that you are so self-aware of your own situation and are able to correlate your life-history with the condition. However, perhaps you need to start listening to and accepting (rather than arguing with) other people’s personal situations and their opinions. After all, each person is unique and the evidence is clear: bipolar is a frustratingly complex issue. If it wasn’t, none of these good people would be here discussing this.
Maybe it’s time to take some time out and chillax.
Sometimes,I feel physical changes ( quite mild)
Prior to a cycle hitting…
Most common,headache….or shaking….
I’ve learned ( though I dislike it) it’s taken several tries ( besides my meds)
to quell the various symptoms
Impatient,yes,but,I do see improvement from even last year…
I always hate the power ( esp if you stop meds) or if you simply haven’t slept decently few nights….this serpent-
visar like grip……
Can really get me into major trouble,it doesn’t matter that I’m female.
If I don’t sleep few nights ….I just lose it totally…..
Soon begin to hallucinate…….yes agreed this illness,mine)
TERRIFIES me AT TIMES….
Yet other times,I feel..well….
For right now I’m okay…..there’s been suicides in my past…family history.
Pretty spot on my cousin…BP…
Maybe my fathers father as well….not certain……no genealogy records…..of sorts..
Sometimes my brain is so speedy,worse at night…worry about sleep….
I guess we all just have to find what comforts us, interim med dose schedules….
So different for everyone,I find sometimes changes for me some DAYS.
I WOULD LOVE FOR MY BRAIN TO BE ALWAYS AT PEACE.
No don’t mean zonked out,it’s not the same.
At peace so…I don’t MULTI TASK,CHAOTICALLY
So I’m not so worried about stupid insignificant details, SO I SLEEP DECENTLY AT LEAST 5 nights out week!!!
Back to earth…….
That’s WHAT I REALLY THINK SUCKS ABOUT BIPOLAR……
WE don’t GET HOLIDAYS
24/7 NO PAY!
I like SANDRA, I HATE HER BIPOLAR ! ( & other illnesses)
But since I didn’t get a choice I guess I’ll have to DO MY PERSONAL BEST W WHAT IVE GOT.
Goodnight to everyone
Sandra lost in Cyberspace…….
Tr
Was just throwing a question out :
If no one feels ok answering no problem….
Re hospital admissions : do you feel they’ve altered your BP,
If so,please elaborate .
Do you advocate for yourself once your improved?
Thanks.
I never see more than 1 psych,here,4 come at once…( hospital,the residents)
Apparently I get very manic during that period,I’m very verbal about them being there……
Refuse to talk but one on one…
Anyway,
Appreciated.
Stay Well
Sandra in Bipolar Cyberspace
Bipolar pride?
I never felt a sense of pride in regards to this life destroying illness.
There’s a common thread that runs through these posts,how relationships,be it family,friends bf gf…
Once said or emailed out….
Family have only so much patience,I think I when first diagnosed…
Felt SHAME,LIKE A FREAK, YES as someone said,we are the ones due TV & Documentaries,movies…
Kill,arsonists,HELTER SKELTER CHARLES MANSON TYPES……
Really?
Not that I possess wisdom of the ages,but that sounds like a lot of rubbish to me.
If ppl actually used their ( normals) brains,they’d REALISE many many of those ppl were on LSD or some type
of Belladonna type hippy trippy drug….
What I do feel is that I’ve been out of hospital 2 yrs ( ok yeah that’s pride)
That my project is coming along,I’m trying very hard to be more patient ( OMG sooo hard,also runs in family!!)
Today I went got my groceries,saw my ex…
He was in the dark side of the moon higher as high looked like just got out of jail…..
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??????
I know he wasn’t on my planet earth.
I’ve ( also w a slight med reduction) have more clarity usually…welcome)
Last night was awesome snooze, wish every night was like that………..
Bought the foods & milk for the insomnia today as well
Sometimes it’s a bitch,sometimes it’s a breeze……
We are people first,then bipolars,whatever …2 nd.
If we just assume the identity of patient only,that’s not living…………it’s very painful at TIMES…Key WORD
I still have OCD but it’s not as bad..
We all have a right to be in this world,none of us,ARE BAD for having BIPOLAR ……
IT JUST IS.
KNOW THATS A crappy WAY TO END THIS POST….
But life is hard even for ppl without bipolar…..
WE JUST FEEL EVERYTHING SO CLOSE TO THE HEART MIND & SOUL
LIKE GETTING a blistering sunburn ON YOUR HEART.
I suppose so far as I’m interpreting pride in this illness …..it’s everyday I wake up,
Give myself A FIGHTING CHANCE.
Cheers to all,w milk…Sandra in Bipolar Cyberspace.
I just want to thank both the author of this blog as well as the many contributors for creating this dialogue about bipolar disorder. After 15 years of taking antidepressants, which I thought had stopped working, I was diagnosed about 10 days ago with mood disorder NOS (which, most likely, will changed to Bipolar 2 after adjustment of medications and additional office visits). After reading the posts and comments, I see myself and my experiences in so many of you and your experiences. I just want you to know how valuable it is to those of us new to this diagnosis that you have been willing to share your experiences, both positive and negative. It’s comforting to know that there’s a community of people to share thoughts, feelings & experiences with when it may seem like too much with which to burden family and friends. I’m lucky to have supporting family & friends, but I know they can only handle so much because they have their own lives and their own responsibilities and stresses. It’s also heartening to read about the successes that people have had despite the challenges that come with living with bipolar disorder. I also appreciate that there’s so much information in one place. So again, thank you.
I like the kind of person I am — but I’m disgusted and ashamed of my illness. I’m labeled. I’m sick of being crazy. I’m sick of it interferring in my life. It gets in the way of what I used to dream of doing in my life, and who I really am inside. It blocks my future and what I want to do with my life. Bipolar pride? I hate my illness to the bone.
It has taken all of my siblings and has killed them, one by one — each in different ways.
My moods are tooo sad and tooo often.. I can’t handle them. I can’t bear all of the capslocked sorrow, I feel.
It eats me alive many times. It just eats me alive.
I listen to ”Mad World” by Adam Lambert and it settles me…but only for a while. Then I play it again.
Then they’re back. Those grotesque moods. I’m in one now.
I just want to be normal person, like I used to be. Just like I used to be.
I think you right about pride. I am proud of who I am not what I have. Good point here. Bipolar pride won’t break the stigma.
It’s better to call a person a “Bipolar Survivor”. That name points to a few things:
1) Bipolar Disorder is a physical illness.
2) The disorder can be in remission, but there is no cure.
3) Bipolar Disorder is a cause of death, usually by suicide.
Like a Cancer Survivor, a Bipolar Survivor can be labeled as such as long as they are alive, no matter how serious their illness is or what their prognosis is.
I don’t think people want to be proud of Bipolar Disorder. People want to take pride and feel respected because they fought to live and keep hope at a time of desperation and misery few people have the capacity to empathize with.
Survivor. I’ll embrace that label all day long.
This makes a lot of sense to me, of course. I do wonder (and I sense it in some of the comments) if Bipolar Pride is the best way for some to be proud of themselves and their survival and their being vocal in the world? If some of us say, “I’m bipolar,” as opposed to, “I have bipolar disorder,” then it makes sense and seems healthy to identify as being Bipolar Proud. I’m proud of me! (you know what I mean?)
I hadn’t thought much about this word, “pride,” in terms of my illness until this minute, but I do need to spend some time thinking about why this matters to some people. Language is powerful and sometimes the only way we can share our inner selves with the world.
It’s probably way over-simplistic to share this, given what I just said, but here’s what Merriam Webster’s says about pride: “a reasonable or justifiable sense of one’s worth or importance.” I like this, and was kind of surprised to see the word “worth” in the definition of “pride.” Antonyms of pride (according to MW) include: disgrace, disrepute, and…shame.
Thanks, Natasha and all for sharing your thoughts! They are so important and give me lots to think about.
Thank you Kate for sharing the definition from MW for pride. I feel worth, importance and pride despite the bipolar when I am able to get out of bed in the morning, get a shower and get ready for work. I feel the same despite the bipolar when after I pick myself up off the floor, I am able to participate in life once again.
Martin Seligman (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Seligman) has a great model for calculating / developing self esteem – if I recall correctly he defines it as:
self esteem = number of achievements / (number of challenges x difficulty)
Essentially this says that:
– achievement is the key to self-esteem and that
– achievement is measured by the challenges you overcome
– the HARDER the challenge – the greater the achievement
For me, this resonates – it’s a great (and very simple) way to be honest with myself. And at the end of the day, self-esteem is about what I think of myself.
So I think that people in general (regardless of any condition) can use this to generate an authentic reason to be proud of themselves. The fact that people may be bipolar does not ENTITLE them to any more respect – however, when they overcome challenges with the added complication of bipolar then that certainly deserves additional respect – not just from themselves.
So rather than focusing on what holds us back, let’s focus on what we’re doing to “stick it to’em” and prove that we can overcome whatever life throws at us. Even if it takes 400 attempts and a heap of support.
(admittedly, that all sounds far easier than it is, but I think that’s the indominable spirit we need to enourage)
:)
Very well said!
Most inspirational…..
:-) atcha!
Yeah, I wouldn’t call it pride. I am doing very well with a lighter med load, and I have beaten back the depression, seem to not be heading for mania. I’m happy I’m healthier and that’s allowing me to mend rifts with friends and my sis, who I alienated while over medicated. I have no issues with my doc, she is supportive of my decision and we have more than a couple of plans for when things go awry. She understands my ultra sensitivities to some meds and weird paradoxical effects I have from many meds.
Am I proud of me? Yeah, in a lot of ways I am but it’s for my accomplishments, willingness to care for myself, willingness to help others, for the skills I have in my chosen field. Not for the simple fact I was decended from a long line of bipolars. I am out in my whole life about having bipolar, but bipolar pride? No thanks.
Deidre,
You have summed up my thoughts on the subject perfectly. I certainly do not take pride in my condition. What I do take pride in is my resilience and my refusal to quit after so many times of feeling like I was ’emotionally and physically on the ropes.’ After a lifetime of low self-esteem, I came to the realization that if there was one thing to like about me, it was my perseverance. That realization was a huge step for me because once I found one thing I liked about myself, I began to discover a lot of things I like about myself. It helped me change my approach towards my therapy and it gives me something to fall back on when the inevitable lows come around. –AC
Andy,
Yes! It’s not living with bipolar that truly defines who I am. It’s part of me, and to begin to love myself, I did have to integrate bipolar disorder as part of what makes me myself. I don’t have to be proud of suffering, but I do need to be proud of every achievement I make in spite of having bipolar. What defines me is my fight, my refusal to let bipolar keep ruling my life. Just like another person mentioned addiction. I’m not proud of having had a meth addiction for 6 years either but, I kicked on my own 17 years ago. I am very proud that I was able to end the addiction, and I am proud of that recovery. As a professional artist, I can just be my true self and my work sells because of the skills I developed in metal and the way people are attracted or not to the piece. Nobody cares I have bipolar, any more than they care about my visible tattoos or anything else in my life.
That does let me be out with the unfortunate circumstances of my birth and brain chemistry, but it’s a far cry from being proud. I am open about bipolar to help break down stigma. I believe seeing people with bipolar succeed and in my small town, carve out a spot where I am not marginalized, but known of as the jeweler with great work. I am defined by my work, proud of winning my struggles, proud of my successes. If bipolar pride is just being proud of my journey, sure that’s fine, but it’s not the bipolar that I’m proud of, it’s always just taking pride in the person I’ve had to become.
I have Bipolar and am not at all proud of it or what it has done to my family. My mom had it and committed suicide on her 45th birthday! No, it is not something to be proud of. I am in a deep depression right now and can’t seem to shake it. Thank God for my hubby and 8 dogs!
You nailed it for me as well as the transitions. Keep doing what you do cuz you do it well.
Natasha you are absolutely right! Bipolar is a sickness not something to be proud of or support! It’s not something any of us WANT to have. People should be supporting and fighting for a CURE. The slogan should say Bipolar research supporter or END Bipolar Disorder! I could go on and on. One shouldn’t be prideful to be diagnosed with this difficult disorder. And to compare it with gay pride makes no sense what so ever as being gay is not a sickness!
There is another illness which engages in “pride”…..addiction.
We call it “junkie pride” and its a way of getting attention – bad or good. Look how hardcore I was, don’t you think I’m a more interesting, mysterious person, aren’t I more special because I have the disease of addiction. its a place to excel in where not everyone is in the running. Same with sub-cultures….often people join them because there is less competition and the pressure to fit into the norm isn’t that great.
Good old fashioned self-esteem issues. When I was first got into recovery for my addiction, my self esteem was on the floor. So I did run around telling everyone I met that I was an addict and waiting for their facial expression when I said that I was in rehab. Until I worked through my self esteem issues and discovered that I didn’t need to define myself by being outre.
I cant say that I run around telling everyone I have Bipolar – simply because there is stigma, and I’m not going to give anyone I don’t trust that information especially in a professional context which they can use against me. But I have no problem bringing it up in conversation in an informal context if its relevant. And that is my way of honouring the fact that I do have a disease and that I’m not going to go out of my way to cover it up. Just as i do with my status as a recovering addict. My thinking is that that’s my contribution to breaking down the stigma. Hopefully, they will look at me and see that I’m pretty stable, that I work on my stuff.
In 12 step groups, its one of the traditions that you don’t tell people that you are a member of that fellowship. The reason being that you might not always be a good representation of the quality of life that can be reached by working the programme. This may put someone off coming to check the programme out. Recovery is a matter of life and death. This plays into the anonymity factor which is not so much about not disclosing your status as an addict as it is about practicing humility. Its obviously also about not revealing anyone else’s attendance or addict status. Even within the fellowship, you don’t say you saw bob at the Wednesday night meeting to a mutual friend in the programme. Its not about shame – its about allowing people to work on their stuff without gossip.
Bit of a tangent – but i think the relationship between an institution’s guidelines and a disease (also a mental disease btw) can serve to keep ego and self esteem in check and help people to work on their stuff. I cant see someone with no self-esteem issues displaying Bipolar Pride.
I can’t say I have pride in my Bipolar Disorder and other mental issues, but I am all for erasing the stigma and if that means speaking out about my disorders, so be it!
I believe that Mad Pride is, much like LGBT Pride, a response to the social oppression that certain groups of people face. It is a way of making ourselves visible in our own terms, rather tun be defined or explained away by dominant groups (i.e. non mentally ill, straight etc). I see it as a political action. It is a way of connecting and gathering with others like us in order to work on accepting ourselves and in order to get society to accept us as well.
Anti psychiatry is a movement by people who have been harmed by psychiatry (and there has been and continues to be lots of that), and who believe that people with mental health challenges should have the ability to choose what supports we need for ourselves, and not just have them imposed on us by experts who haven’t experienced what we have, and who may (indadvertedly or not) abuse the power they have because of their position of authority.
So I guess I see two things
One is calling into question how we understand mental health challenges and mental illness. Most of what we know is what experts without lived experience have built about us and for us. There are other ways of understanding mental health differences, struggles and anomalous experiences- and there is currently very little room to try to understand our own experiences in any way that differs from what psychiatry and other mental health experts say.
The other is the awareness that, while mental health challenges could be seen as an illness (although not everyone agrees with this), a lot of what causes our suffering is living in a world where mental illness is seen as something really bad, to be ashamed of, something that makes us inferior, less than. This shame is not something that each of us comes by on our own, it is what we learn from the society that we live in. Mad Pride I can be a way to bring attention to this.
Best,
Piedad
“the shame is not something that each of us comes by on our own, it is what we learn from the society that we live in.”
Yes. So your post rings true, to me. It’s a way of getting society to accept ”us” all. My point exactly.
Other forms of ‘brain” disorders do Not have the same stigma as our illness carries. A blanket acceptance is better than no acceptance at all.
Maybe by my own defintion, I love the slogan- Mad Pride! (until I come up with something better. .: )
I think you hit it on the head there Natasha. What attracted me to my ex was not the fact that she was bipolar, but the fact that she dealt with it so well. Admittedly I knew nothing about bipolar back then other than it was a complex mental disorder and the fact that she was able to talk about it, admitted that she didn’t want to become “that person she became when manic” so was committed to her medication etc., …. – that suggested strength, character, resiliency, honesty (with herself), perseverance and maturity. Those are qualities that I think anyone can and should be proud of – especially when faced with a challenge like bipolar.
But being proud to be bipolar – that just doesn’t make sense – it almost sounds like they’re on a campaign of martyrdom or are trying to convince themselves that it’s ok to be bipolar.
Maybe I should start a group called “Hetero-Non-Mental Pride” … and make some badges!!! :P
That made me sick to here that. And I loved the slogan!!
Anti psychiatriy group? That’s all we need!! Closer scrutiny of the doctors… yes. What’s the purpose of being anti-psychiatry? No one forces people to go to p-docs, unless it’s the courts? I don’t get it.
It occurred to me than one slogan in particular: ”Mad pride” …might just speak, or could speak, for all of us crazies living under this twirling umbrella. It’s like saying, ”We support the mentally ill” -no matter what catagory.
An indirect way of wording, that we, in ALL capacities support ALL people here on Earth- with mental illnesses.
Any of them.
It, being said that way, lessens that sharp knee jerk reaction, nasty come backs, or accusatory eye rolling we always get, when one of our brain challenged brothers is falsely under attack.
Let’s see, we’v got the Bipolars, 1-2-3 and more, Schizophrenics, Borderines, Schizo–affective disorders, Aspergers, Autisms, Epileptics, Downs syndromes, brain damaged by injury or birth, ie Cerebral Palsy. Too many to list. Many of which get a totally free and innocent pass.
Not us.
We’re the killers, the axe murderers, the rapists, the arsonists, the lifers in prison…all of the ugly people.
No one wants to learn of the brilliant company that we know exisits in the past and present, that have or had bipolar. Or any other form of mental illness. Mind you, we’re not admitting we HAVE it, but only that we support it.
So a “Mad Pride” slogan might just put our cloven foot in the door, if we include ALL of those out there that suffer from an illness of the mind, from WHATEVER the cause.
It covers a huge spectrum of people–and it’s almost funny. ”Mad Pride!”.
It forces people to look at mental illness in it’s entirity. Not cafeteria style mental illness, but ALL of the affected, belonging to basically the SAME club, regardless of it’s origin, and whether the elitists like it or not.
Frankly, I’m sick and tired of being ”singled out” by some brainless assholes who lumps ALL of us Bipolar sufferers into their definition of insanity.
”Mad Pride?” …….it has a certain ring to it.
Leave it to you Natasha. xoxoxoo
Hi Stevie,
Actually, “mad pride” is a movement in its own right and most closely associates with antipsychiatry. I’ll have no part of it, thanks.
– Natasha Tracy
Oh, yeah I feel real proud of the fact that becuase of this , I have lost friends, family a successful profession, self worth, dignity, health my financial freedom, and so many other things. I believe it also depends on the severity of this malady. Seems to be becuase of television and the movies that many people especially the teens and early twenties think bipolar is cool becuase of TV and screen stars that act the role of a bipolar person. That person doesn’t cycle like some of us do daily. They came up for a name “ultrdadian cycling” which I don’t believe has made it yet into the DSM phone book. I wish someone would tell me that I should be proud of the fact that one minute my depression can go into manic mode and then 1 hour later I am on the floor in the fetal position pleading for help. I don’t have bipolar pride I have bipolar fear. Some people say they take it day by day. Some days I take it minute by minute. Nothing to be proud of . Many of us live in purgatory here on earth. For me its a freaking nightmare. I wish the readers who are suffering like I am, some peace in your lives and the strength to keep on fighting this battle.
Yes, I feel pride in handling my my condition. And I’m inspired bymy friends
Who work hard and often get a chance to flourish. I feel lucky.
But come on. Why are there Pride movements? Because if someone knew what you were, you could lose respect, jobs, housing, etc. All the things those w mental health conditions get to worry about. We are the last in the closet. We need unity. Look out for each other. Rally, dance, whatever. I’ll wear the tshirt.
I love the gay rights line in the sand: we’re here we’re queer get over it.
Thank you Natasha. I feel the same way. Bipolar disorder seems to be the illness de jour these days and I’m tired of it. It’s almost being turned into a joke because so many people today say “I’m bipolar” without even realizing what it really is or what people who actually have it go through. Thank you!!!!!
What a strange concept, ” Bi Polar pride “. Interesting. I do not seem to have an overate amount of pride about anything in my life. Well, maybe my daughter. She has really turned out to be a loving humanitarian.
But I have always had the severe abuse of both my parents, and the messages about how I was a terrible person to “quell” any pride I might have had. Even selling a million records in the 1980’s; I felt it was some silly mistake of being at the right place. A “fluke”. I am now realizing that it is ok to have pride. Pride in a simple job, well done.
Pride in a child turned adult, and giving back to society in a loving way. All I want to feel is normal, whatever that is.
I see so much arrogance in the world today. It makes me sad. It is a kind of violence, I think.
I am grateful for the deep thought that goes into these blogs.
Thank you.
I must have bipolar Pride, just like I must have Gay Pride, or any other self pride, which means for me that I have unconditional love of self – NO MATTER WHAT – which includes absolute NONJUDGEMENT of self. If I don’t I will never progress or heal.