I started thinking about alcoholism the other day because of some stuff going on with a friend and I started to think about how high-functioning people often don’t consider themselves alcoholics because they’re high-functioning. How can I be an alcoholic; I have a job? A family. A wife. Friends. Money. A house. And so on…
And the same is true for people with bipolar disorder. People think to themselves, “I can’t have a mental illness – I have a job.” Or, “I can’t have a mental illness – I’m a good mother.” Or, “I can’t have a mental illness – I have a degree from a top-tier school.”
But as I have told audiences over and over – mental illness happens, and it can happen to anyone.
How Does Mental Illness Look?
When I talk to teens about mental illness we brainstorm together how mental illness “looks” in their minds. People say things like, “scary, crazy, people talking to themselves, homeless people, old people, people in insane asylums,” and so on.
The teens say exactly what everyone is thinking – people with bipolar disorder look crazy. People think, “They’re not like me. I could never be one of them.”
I Don’t Look Like a Person with Bipolar Disorder
And you should see the faces of the teens when I say I have bipolar disorder. It’s a combination of a light bulb going on and a jaw dropping.
And then I compare myself to some of the movies and television shows that feature people with mental illnesses. I don’t look like a killer. I have no blood on my hands. My face isn’t mangled. I don’t choke kittens in my spare time. Gosh, I appear to look just like them.
People with Bipolar Disorder Have Jobs, Families, Lives
And I explain to the teens that you can’t tell if a person has a mental illness by looking at them. I tell them that a person with a mental illness might be sitting in their class and they would never know. Because people with bipolar disorder are just like everyone else – except we have a brain disorder.
High-Functioning Bipolar Disorder
But there is still this pervasive myth that exists that people who are high-functioning can’t have bipolar disorder. We think this because of cultural programming, sure, but we also think this because it keeps our psyches safe. We don’t want to be sick. We don’t want to be one of them. We want to draw a line between us and them. We want to feel secure that we’ll never be sick. So if we just have a job, then we must be okay.
People with Jobs Get Bipolar Disorder
And just like a top executive can be an alcoholic, a top CEO can also develop bipolar disorder. A job, a wife, kids, friends, money, house and a fancy car does not insulate you against the risk of mental illness. Mental illness happens. And it can happen to anyone.
While it is extremely hard for anyone to admit to a mental illness, it’s important that we get the message out there that mental illness looks like you. Mental illness looks like me. Mental illness looks like a family man. Mental illness looks like a kind sister. Mental illness looks like a software developer. Mental illness looks like a lawyer. Mental illness looks like your child.
And admitting to it, is not a weakness. There is no line between us and them. While none of us wants to be sick – if we do get sick, it doesn’t change who we are, it just means that we need treatment for a brain disorder. Being high-functioning will not protect you from a mental illness – no matter how much you wish it would.
I have Bipolar. I’ve likely had it since I was wee young, but, like so many countless 1000 – I was misdiagnosed for much of my life and prescribed repeatedly, anti-depressants that never worked or caused “squirrelness”.
I work FT. I have a child, now grown, that I raised fairly upon my very own – illness, symptoms and all. I haphazardly pay my bills, but they eventually do get paid.
I also have suicidal bouts of horrendous black depression, high mixed episodes that have – in past – landed me inpatient, see things – hear things and “know things” that others may deem “psychotic”. I talk continously to myself, I argue loudly with myself, have psychomotor agitation most foul at times… and the delusions and paranoia? eweww
I have Bipolar and I do not pronounce it loudly and proudly to ANY ONE. I have Bipolar and I do not make jokes of it.
I have Bipolar I, of all things and I try extremely hard to just make it through one day at a time without bringing attention to myself, each day. I’ve had too much of “the looks” over the years and people suddenly not being available or not wanting to associate with me and employers who freak out and decide I’m a liability instead of that great asset that I was a month or so ago.
It’s the “look” and the sudden change in attitude, tone and want to hang about that is so pronounced with many.. that keeps this “high functioning” mentally ill person quiet… at least, until the Bipolar, shows itself.
I am then disregarded because surely if I have Bipolar I, I am delusional – psychotic – unable to determine reality from insanity – unable to live on my own or raise a child or work a actual job out “in the world”. I pillage and destroy everything and everyone within my daily path and must be heavily medicated, rendered docile and agreeable.. or I’m crazy.
Hi Tabby,
I am a associate producer for a documentary, we are looking for individuals like yourself to help cope with this. If you are interested please call me, we are located in Los Angeles 424-732-6419
Wondering. Just a thought is this True Death. “Documentary”. Is this open to all? What are the parameters? Not interested myself. Any info from others in regard to this appreciated. Just wondering this seems like a very extreme case of BP1 a bit from the norn, but of course possible mostly if totally untreated. As well anti-depressant treatment alone for BP1 with psychic symptoms. Seems strange. How about a little more information on this upcoming or planned documentary. Adding a bit to it that we are not all fools and a bit on “True Hope” and it’s claims would be quite valuable. WN
Hi Will,
This is for a docu-series called Untitled American Stories. Each episode will be following a story of someone who has a secret. We will be documenting their journey and at the end they will reveal their secret to their loved ones. Please if interested email us at castingsecrets@brightroadprods.com We work under the All 3 Media America umbrella and are a real production company. Looking forward to great stories. *There is compensation for your time.
Vanessa, your motivations may be legit yet through a quick search your casting and other don’t check out. The company names are transposed or don’t exist. I hope you are not True Death or some other scam trying some extortion deal or otherwise. You may be for real but some people here may not want their secrets revealed. As for me, I have none. I stopped playing that game years ago and pay the price for it. The good part is I don’t have to be outed. I’m out and nothing to loose. All is lost. True Death has tried sympathy many times and I suspect maybe they are now using vanity and maybe greed. No proof, just seems to fit previous True Death profiles.
Either way, I’m saving this and will look into it more and will be waiting for your posts on your progress in regard to your documentary. WN
Hi Will,
I am NOT from True Death-I have no clue what that is aside from googling it and looking at you tube videos. I am putting this in writing therefore, I can’t be lying. The show is untitled and here is a link to the press release. : http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2015/01/09/pivot-greenlights-secret-lives-of-americans/348451/ We are looking to help people who want to start a fresh look on life, reveal their secret and get the help they need. This isn’t a scam.. I only work on heartwarming shows.
I don’t know about what others think of us, the afflicted, but I DO know that I’m guilty of ”judging” many people I know b/c their behavior. If someone I deal with, treats me like shit or unfairly, for nothing I did, I’m likely to call him/her ”crazy”’–Just for one actiion.
So I’m never worried about what anyone thinks of my mental state. If the subject of insanity arises, I freely state to my friends that I’m crazy. This way I’m indirectly telling them the truth and the jokes on them b/c I’m hiding the stero type. thus proving the point about insane people and how they act. Or look.
They haven’t walked in my stilettos. I’d like to see someone whos been through what I have (and MANY others have) and still remain sane. That word. Crazy.
Today, EVERYONE calls everyone crazy! It’s the ”bipolar” word that makes everyone FREEZE. –uh oh she’s nuts. certifiably. ”grab your kids” crazy. They will Never look at you in the same way. ever.
So I have been using the term ”brain disorder” instead of bipolar, b/c of the ‘crazy’ stigma.
The nurses who take your info at a doctors office, have privvy to all your health issues. They ask what meds you take bla bla.
I HATE telling them that I have mental health issues (by admitting to the meds I take) b/c somewhere in her life she will too. But she won’t be judged. She’ll drink her way through her painful episode or self medicate, until it subsides.
The difference here is that mine won’t subside, mine has taken up a permanent residence.
Mine won’t go away or heal with time. I can’t drink or drug my way to the end b/c there is no end.
I can’t wait for it to subside. It’s here to stay.
We all hide something. The nurse might be crazy too. It can happen to anyone, and it does everyday.
I actually mentally screen people I meet or speak to see if they have any ”crazy” symptoms sometimes.
Talk about a bad habit!! Yep, misery loves company.
A rock thrown in the head can cause a mental health issue.
People allow for that. “”That poor man. -He had an accident”.
We’re the pariahs. It won’t change in my lifetime. I won’t lie to myself. But if anyone mentions that any given one of us is crazy, I’ll forever spring into action, to defend the indefendable. I won’t let my people down.
I’m a crusader. Incognito…. but nevertheless. It’s who I am.
I can respect someone who wants to call themselves crazy, but I have HUGE Issues with an advocate going around saying bipolar people are crazy. You need to be aware of how effective you are being as an advocate, if going around calling everyone crazy is really offending people perhaps stop. If you want to write about how you feel you are a crazy person go ahead. But when you call me crazy I would say F’ off you don’t know me. Let people define themselves how they want, it’s degrading to people to have others label them.
Also, words DO matter. They matter a lot. Have you ever heard of emotional abuse? What happens a lot in emotional abuse? Someone is using there words to hurt someone. What people say to you can be devastating. Please open you mind to considering this.
I would agree maybe if it is done in a hurtful way and especially by someone who doesn’t understand MI. In this case it most definitely isn’t. Similar if almost identical to when a black guy or woman uses the N-word in music and so on. Or someone involved with or in the culture where it is understood in a different way. Whenever Natasha or almost anyone (but not all) have used that of many other words that if in the wrong context would be considered offensive on this site when used here were not offensive at all. Intent is the word here. Although it is abused in the law all the time by many sides it always comes down to it.
Political correctness of course is a term used these days in the US by usually the right to dismiss those on the left for opinions that are quite valid. Of course the pendulum has swung many times in this way politically but in my opinion it always a fencing game type of deal and the Im insulted claim at some pt. becomes a way to disagree with someone but use semantics instead of a sound argument to support your own opinion. In this case I don’t know your intent, but just as I believe any black man can use the n-word in music and so on anytime they wish. Natasha can use crazy and so can I. And I will if I want to and won’t have my intent clarified by others. WN
It was so nice to see this post and read everyone’s comments. I am — or maybe was is more accurate — a c-suite executive who up until very recently had 100s of people under me and was making a fantastic income. I am one of those people who don”t look like I have bipolar and who was convinced I could overcome my mental health issues through sheer will power. Well, that proved foolish.
Over the last year my life has turned upside down. I left my job, completed 14 ECT treatments. sold my house, moved my family to a lower cost of living state, downsized my life and went on long term disability. I don’t know whether I’ll ever be able to go back to my career. I hold onto hope that I’ll be able to do something that challenges and stimulates me while satisfying my ego and the lifestyle I had become accustomed to. The reality, though, seems to be that I have to accept that bipolar is part of who I am and that while it doesn’t define me, it does play a role in what I’m able to do.
I haven’t really accepted this new identity just yet and definitely haven’t embraced the idea of standing up to the stigmas and prejudice that surround mental health. As far as most people around me know, I left my career to pursue my entrepreneurial passions and am working on starting a business while simultaneously working out of my home as a consultant. This is the story I concocted rather than tell people the truth. I want to maintain some level of normalcy, some of the life that I had, and I guess I’m afraid that that won’t be possible if I’m honest. Pretty sad but true.
Seeing this post and reading everyone’s comments helped me feel a little less alone with this topic and the inner struggle I’m going through to re-define my self-identity. It helped me realize that I’m not the only person who questions whether they are really sick and points to a successful career and an appearance that is anything but that of the stereotypical crazy person as reasons they must be fine. What you all helped me see a little more clearly is that I’m really just hiding from an illness that doesn’t always look like the stereotype and that can coexist with career, family and all of the other things that define success.
Thank you for that and good luck to all of you who struggle with mental health issues.
I do well with the jobs until the bosses don’t realize that hogging all the overtime is NOT helping the companies in the long run when I just flip out one day, tell everyone off and quit. I have gone from cosmetologist to baker to interpreting for a living and I am still interpreting and translating. I have better accommodations with this job and I go to straight translating only if I start getting manic-like (translation=written, interpreting=spoken). I managed to make use out of my final major choice in college but the switching jobs is an ADHD thing as well so it is constant and hard not to focus on wanting to do something different all the time. I think I may become a personal trainer and body piercer too so I can have some flexibility. I can manage all of them because I can adjust my own schedule and none are 40 hours a week and locked in and that helps a lot.
Like when I begin to paint everything in sight. Or I begin to fix everything on the car. You begin to paint crap and fix things that don’t need it. Your boss doesn’t need it. He doesn’t need it. Your working for yourself and not your boss. Probably not bad, or maybe it is if it’s yours but unwanted for others, but I call it emotional inertia. Start to work and if don’t finish you run out of energy and become useless. In reverse, sit on your ass to long and no energy to do anything. No energy to start.
Your everywhere like so many of us brother. Can’t focus. High intelligence most likely and many interests and good at many things. Sad and again no focus. Not your fault. Like me everywhere. WN
Will Nist shoot me an email. Everything you said rings so true, how do I focus this thing? I got diagnosed today. I have none of the vices that a bi-polar person might seek out and am currently in crash which I can hold at bay with exercise. 32 years old. People keep being amazed when I start pulling rabbits out of hats. We attend a local pub quiz and I got annoyed with people cheating so I built a radio jammer but then I realised it might interfere with emergency services or a pace maker so instead I built a de-auth network jammer which just stops people going on the internet. I get some amazing stuff done when I write lists for things to do and tick them off but every other single task I have to do feels like juggling brass balls. (Has anyone ever read William Hazlitts essays? They are supremely good, check out the ‘indian juggler’ I suspect he was Bi-polar)
Today I went round the charity shops and met the girl I flirt with in there every day and I noticed in another charity shop an Agatha Christie novel from the ‘Crime Club’ series. It was only 99 pence! I could not believe my luck but I freak myself out when these things happen but it is only later on when people bring it up with me how odd it is that I could even do that.
Every time I do something like this people have worry reflected in their eyes or they call me an egomaniac(The problem is if I am an egomaniac how would I know? And besides I have made fifty quid from it on eBay which I will no doubt squander on some insane impulse buy like a 1980’s ‘Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles’ pencil case!). I’ve got to accept I’m not firing on all cylinders but I keep pulling rabbits out of hats. 80 percent of my ideas must be full on bat-shit crazy I think though. I don’t have the delusional part or the sleep deprivation part but my main vices are the spending money and basically fucking girls.
I dunno what to do about the girl thing. The stigma has gone in my favour here because it’s like having all the confidence any man has ever desired to talk to pretty women but being given carte blanche to fuck them. I used to think Russel Brand was a prick but he isn’t is he? He’s just reading bad books and not primary sourcing his research material. Stephen Fry is far worse, the way he glamourised cocaine use pissed me off when I read his auto-biography.
I had always wanted the fam/kids and had a lassie for ten years but there is absolutely no fucking way I can inflict infidelity on to a lassie. Which seems to be like the best aphrodisiac of them all. You tell a girl “I can give you poetry and romance but I will break your heart and leave you. ” and they end up playing footsie with you.
Acting/Music are the only careers I feel like I can pursue right now. Are we really funnier or more intelligent? I am totally in internal struggle to even believe it. There’s no way in hell I can even hold down a job incidentally I’m not even sure if this forum can be true. Bi-Polar I at 32 yrs old with no delusions and only the best bits apart from over-familiarity with people and intense sex drive… Could be worse. How much money do male escorts earn?(I can’t be the only one who has thought about it!)
Email me at ‘tenaciousbeeorchid@gmail.com’ I’m going to go start some sit-ups, guys you should too!
This was wonderful to read, because I’m very high functioning, and don’t “look” bipolar. I’m a good mother, a reliable and productive employee and a decent person, who would never hurt anyone. However, I’m surrounded by coworkers who constantly voice opinions that “manic depressives” should not be allowed to have children, or be allowed to live in “normal” society. It’s very sad, especially considering I work in a hospital with health care workers. It only goes to show that just because people are in a helping profession, they don’t necessarily understand mental illness, They have no idea that when they’re trashing the “crazies”, they’re trashing me, a coworker who is quite competent, and certainly not disabled or dangerous because of my disease.
I currently now (been unemployed a bit) work within a large insurer of sorts, dealing with MH/SA service claims. I am in my initial 90 day probationary period and going through some intense training… to process claims submitted for payment.
My company has a anti-stigma campaign and promote it rather heavily on their website. I was just about to submit a request for a item that they sell… when I backed off. I backed off because I didn’t want to draw attention to the item and moreso, to myself wearing the item.
something went a bit haywire with the site… cut me off
I was going to note that this week, being my first week at work, there is a code within the system we are to work within, that denotes whether a service is psychiatric or not… or, in the company’s terms “nervous or mental”. The code is the letter “C”.
Now… while training, when this situation comes up… the trainer then asks the group “and what did we say the code C designated?” and roughly 9 or so, of the 30 of us, speak out “CRAZY!” and that is how these 9 or so, remember the code as meaning.
I, and a very few others, in the group have spoken our aversion to that term… not because we have mental illness (well, I do), but because a few of us have actually worked within a MH/SA clinical environment… as caseworkers or administrative.
Still… I cringe each time I hear it.
As far as being High-Functional so I cannot have Bipolar…
it’s when those with high functioning Bipolar so de-compensate into a swirling pit of symptoms threatening to take us under and drown us… and we are trying to tell our “helpers and guides”… and they shrug, slightly chuckle, seemingly dismiss our distress – by remarking, how we are actually doing really really well considering…. that just burns a new gasket and cracks my cylinder.
An insurance company selling an item sounds odd? Companies always Claim these policies, really supporting them is another story. What the 90 days. whatever it is you increase your odds of success with union etc. protection. WN
Well Done! Way to go Natasha!
A lot of families take it very personally when a blood relative is diagnosed with a major mental illness that is known to have a genetic component. “These things run in families,” is what I always heard about mental illness when I was a kid (undiagnosed).
Many people, before they adapt to the idea, take a family member’s diagnosis as a personal affront, a questioning of their own sanity. It doesn’t help that our relatives tend to genuinely be eccentric to start with.
What happened when I got sick as a small child is that my family members were so eccentric that they had no clue what neurotypical looked like and considered *me* merely “eccentric.” Meanwhile, neurotypical people could see me as vividly, bughouse nuts—usually verbally expressed as “a real weird kid.” They could tell I was emphatically not like the other ducklings on the pond.
One of the reasons I’m very open about having bipolar disorder, especially when I appear the most neurotypical, is because confronting the stigma is the only thing I’ve found that helps the people around me treat people with mental illnesses better.
I grew up in a conservative, Southern small town. The anti-gay sentiment (I’m straight) was harsh, among other bigotries. It was easier to share those bigotries when I didn’t know (or didn’t know I knew), anybody who was LGBT.
Then in college, a good friend came out, and suddenly I had someone I already knew to put a face on “gay.” Over time I got more faces of people I knew to match with the category, and the bigotry instilled in my childhood evaporated in the face of reality.
It’s important, I think, that in the times we’re most able to “pass” for neurotypical, we give people who know us the opportunity to use our face on the label “has bipolar.” I don’t judge anyone still closeted—stigma can really suck, and living with bipolar is already hard enough.
Kudos to you, Natasha! Every time you give people a real face to attach to the label, you help reduce the stigma for all of us.
I’m not a linguist but is neurotypical really the right word to use. I grew up in Pennsylvania but spent my sophomore and junior years in college in Tennessee. At the time there was a witch hunt against faculty members who were homosexual (I also am hetero, not that that matters) and it pissed me off so this is what I did. I put a huge sign in my dorm window facing outward saying “Jesus was gay”. The entire football team tried to break down my door in a drunken rage on a weekend night. I’m not a small guy, in fact was bigger then most if not all of the football players at the school. Also at that time I was an avid weight lifter, but it was the whole football team and I was 18-19 years old. Of course the armed campus security was on guess who’s side! The story after that goes on and more involved and changed my whole life. Point is that was in the mid-eighties and I knew not a single homosexual in my whole life (who said they were of course) and didn’t need to know one to know it was wrong for people hunt them down.
I believe we should all be intolerant of the intolerant and give them no quarter. Whip out the black flag and charge with it. For good or bad in many ways I may fit the stereotype of the crazy bi-polar person and have paid for it severely. I tell people what I think and it has and continues to get me in trouble but never even dreamed of a day back then where gay people could get married and I am very proud that I may have been at least in a small part have been responsible for it. Things do change though at times they seem they never will. Maybe 30 years from now those with bi-polar will have the rights homosexuals do know. I don’t know.
My experience I think is different then yours I believe in that I don’t try to fit in. I want to but only as myself and that times is much further in the future them for those that do in every other way them just being bi-polar.
I don’t think it’s us BP that can change things. It’s really other people who aren’t fighting for us.
WN
What !?! A Des Jardins with a mental illness !!! Can’t see anything wrong here.
Really.
Honestly !
Maybe we have a bit of a temper; the Des Jardins temper as it was known. So we blew up verbally over nothing that anyone else would have even given a second thought towards. Things occasionally got thrown and walls got punched in, but wait five minutes good friends and neighbors, and all will be well.
Life hurt so bad that it was normal, and depression was natural because so many little everyday things could go wrong and whatever the wrong was, couldn’t be controlled. I mean taken care of exactly and completely and 100%.
Anger and frustration levels were so high that we survived quite well on exhaustion; just the way things were. Of course. Didn’t everybody live on a stress level of 10+ ?
The Forest for the trees Natasha, the forest for the trees. Or for instance, being inside doesn’t necessarily mean that you can look outside clear enough to see that so very much is wrong and blinding, that to even guess at a mental illness being the root cause would never have crossed my mind, because I didn’t look like a looney !
Robert A. Des Jardins
you state … “because I didn’t look like a loonie.”
I find that very offensive.
I think he just meant that most think we are supposed to look like street people and etc. The worst types of stereotypes. Funny think is I DO look like the stereotype many times and love disproving I’m not a moron to those who expect it. It can be great fun. WN
Been thinking about this a lot recently. To tell or not to tell, especially at work. Which friends can you tell? Can you tell them at work or will they treat you differently? And on the flip side, are there any protections you should have because of it? I don’t know anything about the law on this topic. I hate that there is so much stigma. I am bipolar, I have a bad job, and I’m just coming down off a hypomanic episode and lost out on a great job because my personality didn’t seem strong enough.
Lynn – In my opinion, do not tell anyone but Health Care Providers and other BP folks like on this blog and in groups. They are the only persons who have walked in your shoes. It is iffy with friends and families, but jobs are the worst because the stigma is so entrenched in our society… jobs will use any health care info against you, particularly mental health data. I am no expert as I am just now coming to grips with own stigma(s), but I lost my dream job due to misapplication of meds that sent me into a hypomanic process. I also no longer have friends and family. Every situation is unique, but find people like you who understand.
I was a senior executive at a Fortune 500 company until I went out on medical disability for bipolar ii nearly a year ago. Since then, I’ve spent quite a bit of time researching and considering the topic, who do I tell? I still haven’t come to any conclusions when it comes to friends, neighbors and acquaintances but when it comes to the work environment, what I know is that you are legally protected. What this means is if you disclose your illness, your company cannot retaliate and, in fact, it becomes much harder for them to let you go. If you fear that your illness will cause you to behave in ways that might get you fired, it’s probably a good idea to formally tell them and agree upon accommodations. And yes, many companies offer all kinds of great accommodations and benefits that can really help. On the other hand, people are people and you can also fully expect to be stigmatized and subtly discriminated against. That promotion you think you deserve, don’t hold your breath. That assignment that interests you, don’t expect to seriously be considered. People will treat you differently and it’s incredibly difficult to do anything about it. So, if your main concern is keeping the paychecks coming, get something on record before it’s too late but if you’re career is going well, you’re intent on working your way up the corporate ladder and you’re not at risk of losing your job (this probably means you’re on meds and have a plan in place should you suddenly experience an extreme high or low), I’d give it some serious thought before sharing anything that could end up damaging your future opportunities.
Brian
I too was a senior executive at a publicly traded company. Every word you say is correct but in todays times your job can be eliminated and so can you. Will you have the monies and time to start a legal battle with a fortune 500 company. Any attorney that would take them on will not do it unless they get money up front and in my case it was sizable. I was also asked by the attorney if I wanted to drag it out in court for 5 or 6 years even longer because that happens all the time and my bill could be very high.. What he was saying was you cant afford the time, nor the money without any guaranty of winning. The 15 minute conversation cost me 500. I have seen discrimination in many companies , where they cannot afford to have a person take an extended leave of absence. Heck, women go back to work weeks and even days after having a child for fear of losing their job. Imagine working in a 10 man shop and you are the only accountant and ask for a 1 year medical leave especially in these times and yes if you can go before a commission they will look into it if everything and I mean everything meets their criteria and in rare cases in some states an attorney will be provided. My state does not. Also with all the metadata out there , if you take action it will follow you. Legal protection is very expensive and even though this is a federal law each state treats it differently. At my support group I have 3 people who thought they were legally protected until the realities of protection hit home. Your state may be different…. Also having to find work after an extended period of time is very difficult.. The explanation for the hole in the resume has to truthful.. I see no Brian here that you responded to. What the law says and what actually happens are 2 different things. In this country you are innocent until proven poor. I hope you get better. No luck for me.
Very well said Michael and very true. The typical person who has not battled the legal system including those who have read quite a bit about it think it resembles justice. What they don’t realize and to what extent all the well thought out and defended decisions of bodies like the supreme court and all the so called laws to protect the innocent have virtually ZERO applicability in the real world. Very simply just ask ANY attorney who has spent any amount of time in a courtroom and he will laugh in your face if you say there is ANYTHING regarding justice in the US. The devil is in the details and law is all about details. Justice like all things in the US goes to the highest bidder. Plain and simple. I remember when years ago thinking medical care was the same for the poor and the rich. Justice was justice etc. Then I grew up and actually started to experience the real world. The only people who think there is justice are those who have never been involved in our system. The rest police, judges, prosecutors, defendants etc. will tell you the truth. You not only don’t want to see the sausages of laws being made you don’t want to eat them either. If you do and have any conscience at all you will vomit them up immediately. Ashamed how we teach children these fairy tales in school. If we didn’t we would have a much better country. It’s also incredible how the average person thinks jail is a country club. If one is innocent until proven guilty then why are the accused put in the same cells and fed the same food etc. as someone convicted. Stories to make the masses feel good, nothing more. WN
Good advice Brian, but I think to be honest with her you must tell her how lawyers work and to really look into what to say and not to say to keep those paychecks coming. As they say “anything you say can and …” and the world and in particular someone who can remain being an attorney and still manage to sleep after five years are normally quite immoral people. What other group of people switches their morality or even pretends to based on who is paying them. ANY person who can put someone in jail one week for smoking a joint and the next week defend someone doing the same is not to be trusted under any circumstances by any rational person. This includes spouses, children, friends and so on. WN
Hi Brian,
I am an associate producer on a documentary. We are looking for individuals who are bipolar but have not told their loved ones yet. If you are interested in hearing more, please give me a call or email. 424-732-6419
Americans with disabilities act. It’s very tricky as most laws are, but if you know it better then your employer don’t let them know. That’s in just the US of course. Know nothing of other countries. Read the actual text, not the 3rd hand. WN
Will
If the employer has an HR dept they will know and if they don’t they will make one phone call to an attorney. Millions of people are out of work due to ageism which is illegal. Looks like the companies where they worked go away with letting them go without a scratch.
Yes, even though It may do you no good it always makes sense to know more then your enemy but don’t let him know it. I think it was either Sun Tsu (sp) or Von Clauswitz (sp) who said. Appear weak where strong and strong where weak. Sometimes playing the fool works and sometimes playing the sly genius does, but regardless always carry a pistol under your coat. WN
Natasha,
Thanks so much for posting this. I’m sure you’re not surprised to see me happy to read it! It bothers me when my family tells me I can’t “be sick” or that my label is incorrect, but I understand their perspective. I think we just have to be more willing to share stories so that the world at large doesn’t equate bipolar with the Sandy Hook massacre or whatever the latest tragedy is.
Knowing that there are thousands of people like me out there, working in good jobs, in challenging fields, making marriages work, having children, contributing to society – all while “sick” – makes me feel less alone.
I also know first-hand that many of us who do work and are perceived as “normal” can’t be very open about our illness. It isn’t acceptable to be bipolar in the corporate world. It seems like depression is more widely accepted now; it’s my hope that one day bipolar won’t have that terrible stigma attached to it and we can feel less shameful about sharing.
Would be nice if they could equate it with all the great scientific and others when bi-polar people discovered them. Very possible the cure and cause of bi-polar will be discovered by one of our own. WN
I definitely fit this scenario and it is comforting to hear from everyone, it makes me feel less like an oddity. However, I have a question. Has anyone had any positive experience with Emotions Anonymous? It is a twelve step program, based on Alcoholics Anonymous, but for the mentally ill. I do not drink, but so far my attempts at EA haven’t helped as much as this blog.
AA was founded by born again christian wackjob cultists. Remember that when getting involved with anything based on their beliefs. No science of any kind involved. No statistical proof that any 12 step program does ant good for anyone. You will different, but look into the facts and you’ll see what I say is correct. WN
I agree. That’s why 10 yrs ago, when it was first suggested to me by a pdoc, I thought he was a looney tune. I left his office and I did not seek treatment again for 10 yrs when I was in my 30s and realized that when my external life circumstances were stable and I had nothing left blame, perhaps I really did have a brain disorder. And here I am. Thank you for posting this.
It hit home. Now that I look back upon my life I was probably born bi-polar and all the things that I did or not do as the years progressed were because of this disease. It was so difficult for me to get to the top of my profession and one day it all came crashing down on me. All that I had worked for was lost and its getting worse every day. No laughter on my part and I warn some of you who posted that they laughed is that I was in your place and now I am holding on to dear life. Be very careful and watch for signs and triggers. I did not. Now all is at risk for me as I get worse. This can turn into a vicious disease, an evil one. High functioning one day can be a down hill fall the next. I am truly scared. I have been this way for many years. No healing. Even managing is up and down.
Glad to see your still out there Michael. I’m on anew new drug that seems to have dampened the highs so that the low don’t seem to go so low. Sadly the baseline is so far below normal. The SSNRI does seen to screw with me so don’t know weather to stay on it or not.
I continue to be impressed with your blogs and your writing.
Great post. As I suffer from both alcoholism and bipolar II, I had to smile when I read the title of this post (as did my wife). For years I convinced my self that there was nothing wrong with me…though I knew I was an alcoholic and had been diagnosed (after 10 years) with bipolar disorder. My rationale was that I had a house/car/job/money, things that most people would kill to have. As log as I didn’t drink and took my meds I was, by definition, good. I have only recently seen the fallacy of that line of thinking…that regardless of “taking my meds” my thinking and behavior can spin off and that my cycles do still exist. I have not been “cured”.
I agree that it is important to let the word out there….that people with bipolar are not necessarily like what is depicted in One Flew Over the Cuckoos nest…anymore than alcoholics are limited to those with paper sacks under the bridge. As I get older I am increasingly comfortable with acknowledging to others what I am, what I struggle with. Mental illness is far too pervasive to pretend it does not exist.
I laughed a little bit on the inside while I was reading this. I’m pretty sure those exact words came out of my mouth after I was just diagnosed.
Thanx, Ms. T – very cogent.
It’s quite similar, in my mind, to our inability to accept bipolar as a sequela of significant trauma – a kind of “shake-it-off” attitude.
I see the key word to any of these mindsets as acceptance – once I attain that, I’m good.
From the rain shadow…
R-
I know exactly what you mean. For example. People diagnosed with schizophrenia commonly have a much higher IQ than that of a “normal, non mentally ill person”. I’ve worked in the field. I used to work in a house full of mentally ill people. We had two men in there. One stayed in his room constantly. He was schizophrenic. His room was FULL of book cases and he read every single one of those books. He eventually trusted me and I sat down with him and talked to him for about 2 hours. He was BRILLIANT. Much more intelligent that i am. (And I’m pretty smart) The other guy. I can’t recall what his diagnosis was. He was about 55 years old, and he was a Civil Engineer formerly. In fact, he was the one who designed the highways up around Rochester, NY. So he was certainly a very intelligent person. He was a very ill person though. My point? People (including some Psychiatrists) refuse to admit that a mental illness in someone has NOTHING to do with how intelligent or non intelligent that person is