I’m often an ideas person. I have many, many ideas and I like to think many of them are good. And, being a writer, these many ideas translate into articles, which I appreciate as it’s how I pay my bills.
That being said, ideas translate into starting a lot of tasks. The skill (talent, habit, what-have-you) of starting tasks based on a (perhaps) brilliant idea is one thing, but finishing tasks involves a different skill set altogether and finishing tasks when you have bipolar disorder (depression or mania/hypomania) is extremely, extremely challenging.
What Does It Take to Finish a Task When You Have Bipolar?
Bipolar or not, finishing tasks involves delayed gratification. There is immediate gratification when you start a task (yay, another brilliant idea for a book!) but then you have to crave the gratification and reward that comes at the end of the task to actually complete it. In other words, starting a task feels good but then you have to put work into it (which doesn’t necessarily feel good) in order to feel good again once the task is complete.
And the thing about delayed gratification is this: you have to be able to experience reward (pleasure) in order for it to work. Delayed gratification only works if, indeed, you experience gratification at the end.
Bipolar Depression and Gratification
And the thing about people with bipolar depression is that they often can’t feel that gratification – delayed or otherwise. If you’re anhedonic thanks to bipolar depression, you literally can’t feel pleasure and thus can’t feel the reward once the task is finished. And if you can’t feel pleasure once the task is finished, what, exactly, is you motivation for doing it in the first place?
Bipolar Depression and Finishing Tasks
So if you have bipolar depression, it’s difficult to finish tasks. I think it’s easy to start a task; life, hope and need will drive us to do this, but it’s very hard to finish tasks because it takes work to do so. And if you know that the work will not result in a positive outcome (pleasure), then it’s very hard to find the motivation to do it.
Bipolar Hypomania/Mania and Finishing Tasks
And, of course, we all know how easy it is to start tasks when we’re manic or hypomanic and we know how difficult it is to finish them. Rather than having a problem with the gratification part of the equation we have more trouble with the delayed part when we’re manic/hypomanic. Plus, many people experience a flight of ideas when in bipolar mania/hypomania and each idea sees the start of a task based on it and no task gets completed before another “brilliant” idea strikes us and “must” be acted upon.
Finishing Tasks with Bipolar Disorder
So, if we know that the biological imperative (reward) to finish tasks isn’t present in bipolar disorder, then just how do tasks get finished?
That’s what I’ll discuss next time when I write about Tips for Finishing Tasks with Bipolar Disorder.
I always enjoy your articles, until I come to the end and see the horrible pro-Trump links. How could anyone with a mental illness support Trump? And whether you do or not, you should not be making political statements on a mental health website.
Hi Elsie,
It’s not a political statement, it’s an ad. I don’t have control over what specific ad shows. If it were up to me, it would have nothing to do with Trump.
– Natasha Tracy
I can’t even remember to finish one before I start the next. The struggle.
Thank you so much for this. I am a writer and I have sooooo many started stories and poems and book series, but once the initial zeal wears off I step away from it. Or while I’m working on the newest idea I would have another great idea for a writing project and I would jump to that one. It has been so frustrating, and I haven’t thought to search Google for answers until this morning. I scanned through the top links and when I saw yours something said to me, “that one.” I have had different mental wiring since childhood with severe depression and anxiety. I never attributed the depression to possible bipolar. But after reading your article it just clicked. I don’t feel pleasure. I’ve pondered on it and just thought it was the way I am. Which of course it is, but I never knew there was an explanation. Wow. I have yet to read your follow-up article on finishing what you start with bipolar disorder. I just had to get this off my chest. Thank you once again.
I used to use shopping and food as my reward for completing a task but now that I’m broke and overweight that’s not an option. Instead I allow myself a wee catnap as my reward.
hi,natasha your insight towards bipolar is better than docters.
Sometimes these posts arrive in my inbox and I swear that the blogs are pulled straight from my brain! My husband was just expressing his frustration with all of the discarded “hobbies” that I started and never followed through on. Expensive supplies and wasted space… my bipolar disorder can’t be an excuse to continue this pattern but this is a good perspective of my tendencies
try working, out of the home, full time…. talk about not finishing tasks
you get excited, even relieved, that you have a new job and you really get all fired up to perform well.. get approval.. keep the job, etc.
and then about 6 weeks in.. BAM, the suicidal depression hits and everything is difficult, concentration has left the brain, focus is so unfocused and the want to just step out in front of moving traffic is hour by hour
bosses love you when you are fired up
bosses want to be rid of you, when you are barely breathing
tasks and projects that just last week you knew that you knew that you just knew you could handle and complete… you even started out well
get side-lined and you fail to finish
and if you get highly agitated mixers like I do… then you start seeing everything wrong, every detail you didn’t see before and you start questioning the purpose in life about whatever you are doing and you cannot find a purpose worth living to continue doing it…
and all you want to do is stay home, close all the doors and windows, the blinds and the covers… and sleep… sleep a very very very long time
Yep – looks like we’ve got the same t-shirt, read the same book and seen the same film …
People without bipolar have enough trouble with this, as evidenced by all the books, articles etc. on the topic! I know in my (unipolar) depressive periods I can start things, but (on top of the reasons you stated) I feel that I’m not good enough to be able to finish them.
I am truly grateful for your blog. I can relate to the posts and to give to others in my life so that they will have a better understanding of what I live with every day.
A million thank you’s
Very good article. Boy, does that hit home!
Ah,so true
You should’ve read my end of term cards…
Either,AAA- top rated grated grates.
Or you could have don’t,put much in effect into…..
No.
My brain,on ping pong palls….hence me not not needing caffeine!!!!!
Bummer,kinda….
Right now better than ever! Still feel feeling oodly so getting blood drawn by Fri,
Either I’ve I’m getting Alzeheimers….or ………….as written spoken / written…….
Or it it’ll feel shot full of novo-Caine.
I’m very much looking forward to your next column as well. Not only is my bipolar husband bad at finishing, so am I. I’m a little ADD so my reasons may not be bio-chemically the same, but any help would be good. I guess in this case, my husband is lucky because I sure can’t throw any stones in that regard. I’m with Harry on this…. it’s incredibly inspiring that Natasha does so well given her struggles with bipolar. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks, and looking forward to the next post!
Hi Harry. Interesting what you say and writing is good for us so keep doing it. I wanted to say not to dismiss self publishing. it is no longer called ‘vanity’ as serious writers self publish because they get more money for their books and even if you get a traditional publisher they expect you to do all the hard work and marketing. Also agents and publishers are always on the look out for something new and once you have a product you may get noticed. the Matador website is full of self pub authors who have later been signed up. You just have to demonstrate your proactive nature and sales. You could try Create Space for cheapness or use a firm such as Matador who take you through the process seamlessly for a price. Best of luck whatever you do.
I have talked on my blog quite a few times how I NEVER follow through and finish something I plan to do.
I will take weeks to formulate the most detailed, foolproof plans….but I NEVER finish them.
Great post!
One thing that has helped me over the past few months is a free iPhone app called WinStreak. It encourages you to list just three “wins” that you’re going to do today and three that you’re going to do tomorrow. It hasn’t been a magic bullet or anything like that, but still tremendously useful, and I think the rule of threes is magical for a reason.
Hi Natasha, as Paul infers above, i’m sure the reason I haven’t finished some projects is fear of rejection. However, now that I’ve estranged myself from friends and family that is less of a problem. Also being correctly medicated is helping although in the back of my mind there is still the feeling I may at some point cease a particular project.
Which is why I’m a little more careful now. I have a good example of how to rectify this. My fiance has been saying for years I should write a book on my life’s experiences, but of course I knew would be folly to star such a mammoth project. However, I have started a blog where I intend on sharing my experiences. If the blog ends up as a collection of my life’s chapters then I can collate these into a book. If the blog ends up with no articles and little interest then it will die when the hosting fees are due!
By the way, you have a very natural and readable writing style. I’m slowly getting into writing again and would appreciate any resources you can throw my way.
I can’t wait for the next article on tips!
My own problem with motivation based on completing tasks, is that I have rarely had positive feedback from others on my results. They’re usually so fed up with me for *not* finishing most things that I think they just can’t get excited about the odd one I actually do finish! After all, “anyone else” wouldn’t have had any trouble completing these tasks.
Additionally, I feel the lower self-esteem I’ve always struggled with makes it harder to accept praise on those occasions where I finish something. Many people with mental illness have experienced the stigma and shame of being “different”; that tends to mess with one’s self-worth.
Hope you will be addressing some of this in the next instalment.
Hi Paul,
You might want to read what I just wrote on self-esteem and bipolar: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2015/02/healthy-self-esteem-when-you-have-bipolar/
– Natasha Tracy
Oh, I can’t wait for the next installment, either! I can really piss off people with my ‘lack of finish’. And worse, my family criticize me for it, too. Apparently, it’s entirely MY fault that I don’t finish things! (They are *so* supportive … not. I’m pretty good with self-esteem these days, but their comments dig under the foundations, if you know what I mean.)
But I I really identify with the issue of gratification. My family delight in making fun of me because I started a novel almost 20 years ago and it’s not finished. It sits there on my computer. I try to ignore it, but it keeps waving at me, reminding me I haven’t finished it! I get flashes of gratification when I think up some new twist to the story, or when I find some great bit of information that I can use in the plot. BUT …. it’s so much work! And at the end of it, what will there me? Oh, a finished novel! Quite an achievement … apparently!!! But I dontt write for pleasure … obviously. I write (when I write!) because have something to say that I want others to hear. But do you know how hard it is to get published (in paper, I mean – I mean, really published, not some vanity exercise of self-publishing. The good literary agents, they may see 1,000 scripts a year and only accept one or maybe two. So, what chance does an unknown first-time author have with such odds? So, I get to thinking, ‘this novel is hard work – where’s the point in doing this?’
So, roll on the next episode! I am in awe of how much you write AND FINISH, Natasha! I want to know just how you do it!!!