I have mentioned several times that bipolar depression isn’t just mental, depression involves physical pain too. And when I talk about the physical pain of depression, I mean idiopathic pain (pain that appears “without reason” (with the reason, of course, being bipolar depression)). But there’s another part of pain that is a part of depression and that’s real, physical pain that has been exaggerated by the depression.
Physical Pain Hurts
I’ve been putting together a kitchen island. What I can say about it is this: never put together a kitchen island (unless you are skilled tradesperson). It was lunacy to do it and it has been nothing but a headache.
But I digress. The point is, my body is in pain from all the banging and screwing of island-building. And this physical pain is normal. It’s muscle pain that just happens when you exert yourself in uncommon ways.
Physical Pain Can be Exaggerated by Bipolar Depression
The thing is, this physical pain hurts more than it should. This physical pain has been exaggerated by my currently nasty depression. I know that every muscle in my body shouldn’t be hurting just because of the tasks I have completed lately. And I certainly know they shouldn’t be hurting to the degree than they currently are. I guess I was in pain before I started so it only stands to reason that I would be in considerably more pain after exertion. I feel like I’ve run a marathon.
The Physical Pain of Depression Sucks
The physical pain of a nasty depression, on any given day, can make me not want to move from the couch, but the exaggerated physical pain that I feel now makes me not want to move from a prone position even to sit up. Really, it’s nigh-on ridiculous.
And, of course, on top of this is the exaggerated depression fatigue. I was tired before and now I’m downright knackered no matter how much sleep I get (during the night or otherwise). I feel like I’ve actually become part of my couch.
People Don’t Understand Physical Pain and Bipolar Depression
My truly close loved ones sort of get the idea of physical pain and depression after I explained bipolar disorder to them, but there is still lingering confusion How can a mental illness cause physical pain? How can a problem in your brain exaggerate the pain being felt in your muscles?
I don’t know. It just can.
And maybe if I didn’t live it, I wouldn’t “get” it either, but I do, so it’s oh so painfully clear to me. It makes me feel like mental illnesses aren’t just chronic conditions, they’re actually chronic pain conditions.
If you ar wondering if it gets worse when you age,. For me it has and it comes and goes and its sometimes very intense. Doctors dont have a clue but want to shove another pill down my face and it is not fibromyalgia.
It’s totally a psychosomatic thing. I’ve suffered from bp for going on 10 years now. Various manifestations of chronic back/neck/head pain. You should check out the books by John Sarno. They’ve helped me quite a bit physically. Quick reads. You should def check them out :-)
After hearing Howard Stern talk about his back problems and Sarno about fifteen years ago I immediately went to the library and read a book I believe had just been written by Sarno. All it did for me was reinforce my belief that doctors and people in general blame those in chronic pain in just about any way they can. Did nothing for me but make me temporarily just blame myself more. I’ve just turned 49 and have promised myself that at the very minute I turn fifty this coming December if I can’t find a doctor to cut the ligaments in my spine and fuse the four vertabra together to stop the pain, I’m done. The bipolar itself and my whole family and others (including a woman I thought loved me) blaming me for the BP and the pain on top of it and always calling me lazy behind my back it too much for me anymore. The pain, the poverty, the fear of being homeless and in mental and physical agony and blamed for it all at the same time and spending the rest of my life alone aren’t enough to override the will to live. I’m too logical a person (due to the pain I know the spelling etc. in this reply don’t make it seem so) to continue to con myself anymore. I will not live anymore with at least one of these two curses go away. I know the bp isn’t going to. I’m also labeled a drug addict by everyone for the meager pain relief I get from the small amount of pain drugs I am prescribed.
So my future is to be a lazy unrespected, unloved, depressed man in pain 24/7 for the rest of my life. I will not let that happen. If I do not find pain relief by 12/12/2015 midnight its massive amounts of opiates followed by a few tanks of nitrogen or helium or a 9mm jacketed hollow pt. from a gun I’ll have to “borrow” as my guns have been taken away from me even though I have never hurt anyone in my life. Even virtually my only mental relief of competition shooting has been taken away from me by those who have “helped me”, by guilt, leaving me, distrusting me, ignoring me or continually insulting me or not doing surgery for some reason i’ll never know as my spine looks like one long bone on all the mri’s and so on. Sometimes and for good reason life is not worth living and to stick around is just stupid. Less then eleven months left in the countdown and I’m off to tailand or cambodia for my last week or so of prostitutes heroin sex painlessness and relief. At least there another abusive police officer wont punish me for trying to be happy for a couple days until I die. I’m glad Sarno helped you, personally I think he’s an idiot and I thing Howard Stern was slipped some cash under the table. wn what a horrible terrible painful pointless world this is. full of liars phony people who pretend to care and love only those who can pay them back in one way or another. we are all aholes. the worst are those who keep telling them god is on his way. everytime I here that god stuff it makes me sick to my stomach.
Hey Natasha, I need to rebuild my transmission on the car and I was wondering if you would like a shot at it first. It’s symbolic that you’re building an island.
As of about six months ago I have a new, very simple mantra. Stretch. I’m 61 and stretching, doesn’t have to be yoga, do anything you want, just don’t hurt yourself. Do it irritatingly often. Long, slow, drooling stretches.
I had a side effect called dystonia in my lower left part of my back that I had to take an anticholinergic to treat. It was caused by AAP’s and hurt like hell. Too painful to shower or stand to wash a few dishes. Like a spasm that never left. I started do stretches in bed for my back. Lots of twisting stretches and I no longer need Benztropine. That led to more stretching which has made me feel like exercising. Or, in your case, building things, exercising or jumping off of high cliffs hanging on to a sheet of plastic!
Anyway, I do almost all my stretching, a.m. and p.m. in bed. It doesn’t get more depression friendly than that. Stretching is a slow moving meditation for me.
I’m hoping I got somewhere near your topic on this one, Natasha. It ain’t easy.
I’ve been dealing with a particularly physically painful bipolar episode recently, so your post was perfect. I also get frustrated when people can’t seem to comprehend that my mental illness makes my body hurt. It almost feels flu-like to me. I hope that with time and education, they will understand. Thanks for your post!
While I don’t have first hand experience, I’ve seen for myself that this is absolutely true. It makes sense too. Dopamine(?) levels fluctuate in those who suffer bipolar depression just like the other “mood” chemicals. Dopamine is what the body uses to alleviate pain. If it’s suppressed, then the pain is increased. This is coming from a non-medical person, but there’s no doubt in my mind the pain experienced by depression sufferors is real. I can tell when my husband is getting depressed by how he moves (stiffly and in pain) at least a day or two days prior to it affecting his mood.
I’m truly @ the end of my ropes today..
Starting by walking to local grocery store,sidewalks icy…but need food…
Got to mall,where they where playing Christmas songs,one opening the floodgates of tears….
Pain severe from the cold & kind of hobbling so I don’t fall ( as always)
Plus,the depression more intense closer to Christmas….
Then,the worst.
I get a cab home,not much $ as close but heavy stuff kills my chronic pain.
Always check w the driver as few stairs in my building,plus stuff was heavy…guy said,sure no prob.
So I tip him a very small amount,open the lobby door,assuming he will help me…….
Well,he gives a lame excuse,he can’t leave his cab.!
So,I got screwed I was going to ask for the wee bit back…then I thought fuck it!
Better get going….I was yelling/ cursing…after 35 minutes to get them up..
Plus nearly lost my fave sunglasses ….thank God had intuitive feeling they were gone….they were just at my door…..fortunately for me nothing stolen,but I’m so damn mad…
My psych will prob ask why I’m walking extra weirdly…
Thing is,could been avoided,w another more respectful,empathetic driver.
Here,it’s the law if you tip them,they are to help you to your door….I haven’t anyone else….nice day…JC.
Yet other times coming fr Drs or hospital,I’ve had drivers help me walk…
What a difference!
If driver is nice,you say you’ve a pain disorder,some will be fine…others..not so much….
So,my arms ache just about everything ex my teeth do.
Morale: don’t move here ( KINGSTON) crappy city!
w ppl that really don’t understand chronic pain,I’m soooo sick of,well your young must be healthy!
That’s BS
Thanks for listening after a horrible d ( think I called & screamed at
My sister??
Nap time……….
Nite
Sandra pain is so shitty & life altering!! :(
Zzzzzzzz
Though you were from th UK Sandra. Didn’t think it got cold enough there much to get icy crappy sidewalks and snow.
I was a cab driver for a couple months after leaving college and had no problem helping anyone with packages. Other then sometimes groups of young people doing just for taunting. He should have helped you. Especially with the price of cabs these days. Also, I was a very honest cab driver. Some aren’t and we don’t always know the shortest way even if we have lived in a town of about 100k people our whole lives almost.
Did you just have to carry the bags up one at a time? This is what I fear will happen. Total helplessness. Just look around and ask a big guy to help you with high shelves and heavy bags. Especially with guys like me we love to help. Men or women. I’m not too old yet a a really big guy, more probs with things other then heavy things.
It’s the law they must help you with bags? First never ever expect people to help you. I suppose part of my problem is I never expect anyone to help me and do things that are very painful to me. In many ways it keeps me strong. In others it’s the opposite. I’m in the US. Pennsylvania and it most definitely isn’t the law and find it hard to believe anywhere, at least in the US it would be the law. How would the law calculate distance, tip, weight and so on. Personally if I was assisting a disabled person I was driving I would help them with their bags regardless and anywhere and would refuse any tip at all. Suppose that is why I am poor and must admit when I was young I did help everyone with bags but never refused a tip. Live and learn. I did once get a tip from a blind woman. Maybe candid camera. She gave me way to much and I told her. She said that is what she wanted to give me and to keep it. Sometimes people are disabled, blind and so on but do have quite a bit of money I suppose.
Also remember, your cab driver may have been a bit ill himself. I always assume the worst but at the same time give excuses just for inconsiderate actions from people. Like everything these days it’s all about money. All is counted and quantified. I do it only because being so poor, but only to survive and have no choice. I often wonder how some people who are older and/or disabled treated others when they were healthy and did they learn if they were inconsiderate and would they now be compassionate if suddenly young and healthy. If not do they deserve any compassion themselves. Tough questions, but I think important ones.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow Sandra and that your wounds heal. I know they won’t but just sayin. WN
Do you think it might be an executive function problem – lack of response inhibition – that makes every emotion exaggerated, including pain?
I have severe osteoarthritis in 1 of my ankles that makes getting up and around, at times, near impossible to absolutely impossible. At one point my Ortho specialist referred me to a Pain Management Specialist, a Neurologist specializing in Pain Management.
My very first appointment – I had to complete a 4 page questionnaire of my current symptoms, my medical history, my family’s medical history and of my mental state. Questions regarding anxiety, depression, was I on medication? had I ever been treated for such and such in the past?, etc.
There is this thing amongst the medical community – in general, that I have personally encountered on many occasions – that if you are depressed or “psychiatric”, you will FEEL whatever more – you’ll linger on whatever longer and odds are; there is little to anything really wrong with you. If you “feel” bad, then whatever ills you will be worse than if you “feel” good and whatever is still ongoing.
I completed the questionnaire for this specialist all but the page concerning the mental. In fact; I tore that sheet up and stuffed the bits and pieces in my purse. Doc nor nurses ever asked for the sheet, but they did ask about my mental state and history.
It’s a given… if you “feel” bad and you hurt, the hurt will feel worse. Being someone that has chronic pain… often times the “feeling” bad is because I hurt much worse.
If you have a MI you will be given little sympathy for you physical pain. You will be labeled as either a drug seeker or unworthy of pain relief due to your illness. If you then go to obtain the relief “illegally” you will solidify the belief you are a drug addict. A no win catch-22. We are labeled. We have been accused, found guilty and convicted. Most, not all in the medical community, and with full co-operation and with mutual exchange of information we are guilty of being mentally ill. This in my case and many others extends to political activism in this area of political rights and others. Know your friend and enemies and who is getting what information. A smiling face and a lie don’t help the pain. Emotional or physical. This is a real fight and if the system and its agents can’t help then they are to be disregarded and stepped over to solve the answers. WN
Will: also did you re read the post where I DID ASK NATASHA if SHE HAD ANY BUDDIES THAT COULD
HELP HER OUT AS WELL?
TAKES MORE COURAGE TO ASK FOR HELP THEN STRUGGLE & PERHAPS BECOME PHYSICALLY/
OR OTHERWISE SICK….YA THINK??
anyway,just my 2 pence worth……
Done deal.
Sandra.
I actually thought of something to this line, today.
I have a younger sister that is dealing with horrendous knee pain. The docs think she has torn something and have given her pain medication.
I went to see about her, last weekend and she was laying on her bed moaning of the pain she was in and she was in pain. That said: she wouldn’t go to the ER.
She and her husband are of those who do not ask for help. They do not seek assistance from others and seldom do they tell others of their issues and/or concerns. To them; asking for and receiving is a sign of weakness. You must do for yourself, type folks.
My younger sis is laying in pain and there is something or someone that could and would have helped her – had she just went to the ER. She couldn’t walk without crying and doubling over in pain.
I thought to myself today… it takes so much courage and bravery for most to ask and seek assistance. Sure, there are those who milk folks… but most are not of that type.
Sandra, totally agree. For a good person asking for help is much harder then giving it. Why I believe Buddist monks were originally told to beg for food instead of giving it. After giving one feels good, after accepting one feels like crap. I don’t have the humility to ask for help unless disguised as the shame is too much and many times something I don’t have is expected in return. This is enough for me to pull the trigger on myself. The shame of not being a man as I see it. Being an atheist for the most part and believing in evolution and also that people should do for themselves I am in a bind. I believe in doing things for myself but can’t. I want to live but can’t pull my weight. The only rational and moral answer I can come up with at least to satisfy the current political and economic situation is to off myself. Any other is at least partially hypocritical and highly shameful.
I’m combining one response to two comments. Most men don’t do much for themselves anymore anyway. They choose or are forced into one cog in the system, pick up their cash and go about living. Of course real control over their destiny disappears and only the illusion exist, as long as the money does. With no money no illusion of manhood or control. I don’t like that. I like to know my environment and surroundings and how it works and have as much control over my destiny and moral actions as I can. I know it becomes harder and harder but I also believe it is a fatal flaw in our current condition and circumstances. WN
Will,first of all I’m not directing this entry @ men….
Yes If I were a guy I get it,I’d for sure feel the same….
But,as female plus chronic pain …birth defect…put bipolar depression on top…
I think sometimes you just have to ask to ask for help as female, ( by the way,I’m not rich…)
I just know / my physical limitations as does my Dr ( GP)
I’ve had few accidents,I can’t afford to continue on thus …..
So,no not directed at men…of course you can do the things you mentioned…
Peace.
Sandra.
SO true, and no one gets it! As well, there seems to be quite a link between inflammation and BP. The brain is where pain signals come from – no brain, no pain! It stands to reason that these two factors combined with the illness causes REAL pain, ’cause there is NO SUCH THING as “imagined” pain.
I have lived through the pain of bipolar depression. I have found that light therapy, my medications, a good diet, and regular exercise, really help a lot. When I don’t do these things, the pain is worse. Pain really motivates me to strive for optimal health. It is amazing how much pain I have had, and how much it goes away when I am healthy. When I am depressed, I tend to be sedentary and to sleep a lot. I can feel my body weakening quickly when that happens. I do everything possible to prevent depression, and a big reason I do this is to prevent physical pain. The mind-body connection can be frustrating, but it is also amazing.
Forgot a important point …
When you mentioned your family & your pain,when in bipolar depression…
My family..being of UK background kinda always told to get over it.
Although my mum knew the truth since my birth the issues…
Talked ( before I got my new psych yay!) to my GP who went over X-rays ,MRIS……we both agreed to not waste
time particularly on my sister who doesn’t understand severe pain…
He said focus on more productive things & that some people just won’t change….so simple,so true.
He also said spend limited time w her now,too she’s a Christmas fan I’m a foe….
End w I don’t need her approval.
I’m a adult,& she doesn’t need mine…
Don’t choose our siblings,note: did not say mum & dads.
Peace.
OMG…I’d rather MOVE to an island ,than put one together!!
(But joking aside,trying for a wee smile on your face,@ least…)
Yezzz
I do,find my physical pain worse during bipolar depression ( 1-month round)
As I do weather & yes,it does happen to the best of us,increasing age…
As I’ve had physical pain all my life,I agree it sucks,can also make me irrittable more as well..
Everyone has to find there own way,re solving rather than biting the bullet…
Anyway,query.
Is there no buddies that can help,or maybe someplace (?) sorry I’ve an appt) that can help you out?
Even paying for help,beats a lot of pain..in my eyes..anyway.
Wishing you luck !
:-)
Sandra.
I know with me Sandra, disregarding not have the money. I am someone who has done everything for themselves all my life. Cars, houses, all types of machinery, welding, computers and so on. Now the fact that due to BP and physical pain stops most of this activity, I feel nothing but shame. To have another man fix my car is so shameful for me I can barely stand it. Not to mention I can’t even afford the parts to do it myself. WN
Although Bipolar disorder can augment a physical symptom so can any stressor. It’s not unusual for people to complain of increased physical symptoms during periods of stress. Keep in mind nerve pathways originating in the brain stimulated by neurotransmitters like serotonin dopamine norepinephrine GABA have endings on all organ systems. Thus albeit a simplistic view it would make perfect sense from a physiological view why increased stressors especially during periods of cycling would initiate or exacerbate physical symptoms.
Thank-you for this post; I’ve noticed some things involving pain as well. I get an intense burning, aching sensation in my ears, and sometimes a headache, when I’m particularly agitated with the Bipolar symptoms. I may be clenching my jaw in my sleep, but I usually have just a headache when that happens. Whatever the cause, the pain is intense enough I just want to be unconscious instead.
One think I’ve noticed now for a couple years is when in a depressed state I really feel the cold more. When it’s say 15 deg. F and I’m not depressed I don’t really feel that cold. When depressed wearing the same clothes I dread even scraping my car off and forget shoveling snow. WN