Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. – Andre Gide
I have heard about every possible cure or treatment for bipolar disorder; being a public figure, people contact me frequently to tell me what I should be doing to treat my bipolar. In no particular order, this involves:
- Herbs
- Supplements
- Magic pills
- New age treatments
- Religion
- Books containing the secret to happiness
(Not to mention all the people who contact me simply to complain about what I write and how I feel. Lovely people those.)
And what I have to say to every one of these people is this: you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.
Genuinely Trying to Help Treat Bipolar Disorder
Oh yes, I know. Some of these people are well-meaning. They still have no idea what they’re talking about. People over and over mistake anecdotes for evidence. Even worse, people mistake third-hand stories for evidence. Oh yes, the sister of your friend’s piano teacher got better after seeing Mr. Joe? Sign me up for that nonsense.
And keep in mind any website expounding grand magical success stories isn’t necessarily accurate or honest. If these claims are not actually backed up by medical studies, stories of success are nothing more than simply that – cherry-picked stories.
Profiting from Bipolar Disorder and Mental Illness
Honestly, I’m tired of giving these people the benefit of the doubt. I’m just going to come right out with it: these people are trying to profit from pain and desperation. They know that desperate people will do anything to get better, no matter how wacky. They are trying to profit from you. They are trying to profit from your illness. I do not like these people. I do not like these people at all.
Promising Cures for Bipolar Kills People
I have said it before and I will say it again, random, unscientific treatments kill people. It’s not about taking mass amounts of vitamin C, it’s about the fact that someone is taking vitamin C instead of getting real treatment. I don’t really care if you want to think black is white, pray to a god, drink carrot juice daily, or have your aura cleansed; what I care about is that you get actual treatment too.
But Wait, Aren’t You Trying to Profit from Bipolar Disorder?
Well that’s the sticky question now, isn’t it? Yes, I’m a writer. Yes, I make money from what I write. Yes, I’m trying to get a book published. But the difference is this: I don’t make any wild promises of cures. What I promise is my writing, nothing more, nothing less. People are free to regard or disregard it as they choose.
Bipolar Disorder Means Questions
I don’t claim to know The Truth. I claim to ask questions. I try and assimilate what we currently know about bipolar disorder, the brain, and what I know about myself and synthesize it into a coherent form. I don’t know why I’m bipolar. I don’t know how to fix bipolar. I consider the human brain and the human psyche to hold some of the greatest mysteries of our ages and I’m attracted to those mysteries. I’m a philosopher. Like all philosophers, I’m driven by questions that can’t be answered. I’m OK with that.
(I’m also driven to write for a host of other reasons, but they are off-topic at the moment.)
Don’t Believe the Truth About Bipolar Disorder
In short, if you believe nothing else, believe this: someone who claims to have the answer to bipolar disorder is either greatly misled or is selling something.
There is nothing for bipolar disorder except hard work and treatment by reputable health care professionals. It’s not snappy, it’s not easy and it’s not a cure, it’s just the way it is.
I have a daughter with Bipolar I, psychotic, etc. and have read so much since her diagnosis, and I firmly believe the chemical imbalance of the brain can be managed, with medication, and not cured. And I’m a senior who takes 0 medication and I don’t believe in drugs per se, but if I had her diagnosis, yes I would take the 13 pills she does daily, hands down. I hear your frustration because I have had psoriasis for close to 40 years and it too can be managed, but there is no cure for it. I realize psoriasis, of all things sounds random here, But hundreds of people over they years have suggested that I try this, that and the other to cure it, and that’s frustrating, but worse I’ve been sent things in the mail to get money from me because they say there’s a cure, so that’s unconscionable and a scam, and it is deplorable if there are things going around saying that Bipolar illness can be cured. (My daughter is doing quite well too, after 10 months of getting the right mix of meds).
I just love your writing technique. So blunt, so honest, and to the point. I greatly enjoyed the posting. Well, written, and true. =)
I feel that same way about NATASHAS’ writing technique! Empathetic, natural and heartfelt. Not a phony bone in her body! She’s born of brains with an innate sense of caring about others, and a sixth sense thrown in there. Here’s to you Natasha! Happy Thanksgiving! xoxoxo
Hey Meredith,
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 18, decided to not take meds, led a fairly
Productive decade in my 20’s (college, grad school, founded a non-profit, invited to world games, self-authored a us patent, exec director of 120,000 member NGO, consultant for UN, named
Top 25 bloggers in world by TIME, launched a couple businesses.. And also was experiencing suicidal depression & mania after the schizophrenic symptoms stopped.
About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar I, and dove into the research and ideas on it heavily. I
Found that in the west, people don’t “recover”, they “manage”, but in the east, at least according
To the world health org, something like 80% of shizophrenic pateints recover with no meds.
This made sense in a bigger context of what I was researching .
My hypothesis was that avoidance of full emotional experience was driving depression & mania, they they were essentially strategies I was using to avoid experiencing emotional states that never got coded in as “safe”. Since I had stopped drugs and drinking and most other compulsive behavior, I wasn’t able to hide and so would escape into the story of depression or fantasy of mania.
I looked at the latest work in attachment theory and reintegrating personality and began to face the deepest fears of my emotional experience. The experience was an ego death – that is, feeling the fear of dying as your ego holds onto your current paradigm, and then surrendering and breathing through the emotion.
In that space, I felt much more connected to The Universe / God / whatever your label, even though it was painful. By doing that several times, each time getting easier, I was able to expand my range of tolerance and really be present without escaping into depression or mania.
My team says I’m no longer diagnosable, and I just completed a pilot study with Tufts that found a component of the method I used was the most effective thing available.. It’s now moving into clinical trials.
I’m actually in the process of authoring a book about my journey and offering the methods I used.. The book is provocatively called The Bipolar Cure: Transcending Diagnosis and Awakening Authentic Self.
I will of course include the data, and that this was ones man journey (along with stories of others) and we will be reporting on the clinical trials, and I’ll offer a disclaimer that you should only try this with support from your team (in most cases).
I had a vision of being on a mountains edge and knew that going off meds (lithium)
Could mean suicide and was scared of things like brain damage, etc. But I knew if I followed my heart it would be worth it for me and possibly for others.
I’d encourage you to keep your mind open to the possibility of a cure as well as that it might not come from big pharam. For example, we know writing gratitude letters are just as effective as Prozac for depression (in many cases) with no “side effects” (by the way, side effects are just effects) and free — but no one can really profit from them. So there are some solutions, and profit incentive is a very real thing…
If be happy to send a free copy when it’s ready to you for review and honest critique as well as any of your readers as I’d simply like to get feed back.
With love and gratitude,
Anthony David Adams
Hi Meredith,
I, like Anthony have also been writing about the cure of Bipolar – because as soon as you step out of the “we are purely physical” paradigm, you start seeing yourself as part of a bigger being (on one level humanity) and you see yourself int he context of that… and they you look at the whole spiritual and existential question of what it means to “be”… so what is well, what is not well, what is normal, what is not well…..
To be any mental ill-health, like physical ill-health, is part of our body/mind/spirit complex giving us signals to make changes – to our diet, habits, personalty, job, you name it.. our PATH if you like.
I was sectioned twice and my Shrink believed that i would be sectioned again in 6 months if i came of meds. That was 7 years ago, and I am one of the most sane people I know. I have delved deep into every aspect of my life, and been butterfly honest with myself, about fixed beliefs, my traits that aren’t that great etc…
if you believe there is no cure, you are creating a limited reality around yourself. I believe i could cure myself, Guess what i HAVE. you can too! i wish you so much love and blessings, one and all that are still int he quagmire of medications and Shrinks who have no idea of the greater perception of the world out there…take a look into Stan Grof, Graham Hancock, and google anything about the link between spiritually and mental health – and there will be a wealth of information to lead to empowerment – rather than enslavement to the system of meds – which DO make money out of your illness!
Hello Anthony,
What you have posted is extremely interesting and inspiring. I am a senior at UNC Chapel Hill college and I am currently doing a documentary on bipolar disorder. Part of the documentary explores why natural or altnerative treatments, like yours, have not been more widely explored in the states. I am extremely interested in knowing more about your story. If you are willing to talk more about this with me, my email is : cdicus@live.unc.edu.
I have had bipolar disorder most of my life. I am not one to believe in medications. I have yet to find a medication that helps and doesn’t have horrible side effects. I found one medicine which I felt amazing on and it was working. Well, 2 months later and it was giving me high blood sugar and had to be taken off of it. I was so disappointed. I tried so many medicines and I felt amazing on Saphris. So, now I don’t take any medicine. I go to a PSR program 5 days a week 5 hours a day. It helps me cope and not harm myself. Without the PSR program I believe I would have ended my life. I have been in treatment full time for the past year and a half and have learned many tools and coping skills.
I had an aquaintance that I hadn’t seen in twenty years call me and offer to sell me some “miracle water.” I told my husband that if she truly cared, which is why she told me she called, she would give me the so called miracle water instead of trying to sell it to me. I do think she was genuine in her belief that it would help, as silly as that sounds, but I also know that she was in it to make money. I told her no thank you and haven’t heard from her since.
Hi Dina,
Yes, people are motivated to “believe” in what they sell, I find, even against all evidence to the contrary.
– Natasha Tracy
If you are bipolar, it probably took years for you to get a proper, accurate diagnosis.
I work so hard at staying bipolar healthy. I think to say to any mental health consumer, ” You don’t need your medication,” is the MOST irresponsible thing a person could do. We are at such a high risk of self-harm and most of hate to take our medication anyway!
If you can’t truly help us, at least don’t hurt us even worse….
I had a yoga teacher who announced in the middle of class that if we did yoga every day we could ‘throw away our prozac’
I never took another yoga class again.
Hi David,
How about you can “throw the Prozac bottle at her” (the instructor ;)
Yup, that would make me crazy.
– Natasha Tracy
Hear hear!!!! Too bloody right. Classic I had the other day wih my dad. I was telling him how I was a bit down nd struggling at the moment and he says. ” when are you going to kick this thing and be rid of it” ummm dad it doesn’t work that way “oh” he says. This is coming from the guy who visited me every weekend when I was in a psyc ward. I just don’t get why people don’t get it. There is no cure. There is only management. Love ya work Natasha
Hi Meandmybipolarbear,
Thanks :)
Yup, that’s a classic interaction alright. I like to think that people like that, people who would be good enough to visit you in the hospital, really think they’re helping and being positive. They’re not helping, of course, they just don’t really understand what they’re saying.
Yes, there is only management, but some people find it hard to get their head about that.
– Natasha Tracy
Yeah, I said something about “if I were normal” or whatever in front of my dad and my dad said, “You *are* normal!” (We were talking in the context of planning financial and job and practical stuff where disability was specifically relevant to the conversation.)
Me: “No, Daddy, I’m *not*. I’m a high-functioning person with bipolar disorder, and I’m high-functioning only because I’ve got this shiny chemical wheelchair that lets me move around and compensate for legs that work like other people’s. No shiny chemical wheelchair, or something happens and it locks up and quits working, and there I sit–no legs, or no equivalent of legs. And even in the shiny chemical wheelchair, I can’t climb stairs, I’ve gotta use an elevator or a ramp. But I’m real good at using all that so smoothly that people tend to not notice or forget about the wheelchair. But–I still need the wheelchair. No wheelchair or broken wheelchair? No legs. I’ve just gotten real good at making people not notice the chair.”
I looked at him directly with the last bit, because we’d talked about employers and discrimination and how it was usually better to “pass” and let our invisible disability *stay* invisible than disclose. So he said, “Well good, then.”
I think it was all he had left to say.
And at the end, there it is. It’s a two-edged sword. A lot of times people forget I have a disability because I try very, very hard to appear normal and blend in. Can I really blame them that I’m good enough that I succeed at the effort? That when I’m not actively reminding them that there’s something very wrong with me, they forget?
Most “normal” people can’t see us without our social masks without also having that affect their view of how well or poorly we could do various job tasks.
Some of the reason they can’t see us is because the situation makes us hide. Or our problems make us hide. Hiding is pretty much just a thing I do.
BP. I wish this on no one. I have it, as many of you posting here do as well. It’s an evil, evil disease that until one better understands BP, and until one has support of another who understands BP, the disease will eat the soul of an individual from the inside out. I HATE this disease. I have struggled with this damn disease for so long. I’m without medication right now cause I am pregnant. And let me tell you, pregnancy emotions plus uncontrolled BP emotions!!!! I hate you BP!!
Herbs/oil/ can help, but it is best to think of them as unregulated, variable quality drugs with a broader spectrum of possible side effects. Of course, a surgeon could use an unregulated, variable quality scalpel aka a chainsaw to do surgery but the results by even the most talented doctor may be worse than the disease.
My personal favourite ‘cure’ from my childhood came repeatedly from my well meaning, but radio shrink listening to mother: “You should just choose to feel better”.
I do believe one day there will be a cure for many psychiatric issues, but that day is not today, next week, or a 6,000 year old chinese/cambodian/amerind/atlantean secret. Well, maybe Atlantean ;)
Hi RK,
Ah yes, the “choose” to be better people. My mother was one of those too. Drove me bonkers. It’s like the choosing not to be gay people. Yes, and I’m going to choose not to have no depth perception too.
“Well, maybe Atlantean ;)”
Ah. I hadn’t considered that. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.
– Natasha Tracy
What bothers me more is how few people write about the experience of living without medication because the medications don’t work or the side effects are so bad that they’re dangerous. It’s always about compliance and while I would love to take medication (and took it for 5.5 years,) I can’t right now. So rather than looking for a miracle I’m looking for practical guidance. Preferably guidance that is kind and addresses my unmedicated situation in an understanding way.
Hi Rachel,
Well, there are people who don’t take medication who blog but I have found they tend to represent special interest groups. They may be what you’re looking for, I don’t know.
I do talk a lot about things outside of medication that are important, and even a few supplements that you may be able to try (obviously, I don’t know your individual situation and that may not be possible).
I’m not sure if you would find anything here helpful, but they are topics outside of medication:
An alternative medicine resource is listed here: https://natashatracy.com/treatment-issues/diagnosis/alternative-medicine-resource-fad-diagnoses-st-johns-wort/
Series on mood tracking: https://natashatracy.com/mental-illness-issues/mood-tracking-bipolar-disorder-track-mood/
ECT: https://natashatracy.com/treatment/neurostimulation-treatment/ect/electroconvulsive-therapy-works-ect-shock-therapy/
Anger and mental illness: https://natashatracy.com/mental-illness-issues/angry-bipolar-dealing-anger-illness/
Chronotherapy: https://natashatracy.com/features/triple-chronotherapy-like-work/
Exercise and Mood: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/07/journey-of-a-thousand-miles-doesnt-begin-with-a-spin-class/
High-Functioning Bipolar: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/06/how-to-be-bipolar-and-high-functioning/
Great mental health resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-and-mental-health-resources/
Hope some of that is helpful for you. You deserve to have good resources just like everyone else.
– Natasha Tracy
Thank you! I think it’s a an important side to represent, because it would be delightful to be on medication but at the moment there isn’t a medication that is helpful. Wishing you the best!
Rachel,
You’re welcome, I hope something there helps you.
– Natasha
They might also have been misdiagnosed … Borderline Personality Disorder is, I have read, probably commonly misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder perhaps because, the psychiatrist suggested, Bipolar Disorder is “easier” to treat from a busy psychiatrist’s point of view: I paraphrase, “You give the patient pills and leave them to it, whereas BPD requires a very long investment of time and, therefore, money in psychotherapy.”
Hi Graham,
Misdiagnosis is always possible but I must say that DBT for BPD has been shown to work and it’s not a long-term therapy.
What really gets me is biolar misdiagnosed as BPD just so a doctor can get rid of a patient. That really ticks me off.
– Natasha Tracy
It’s insulting to say that I’m not bipolar. This is a part of being bipolar that comes up a lot and I don’t think we talk about dealing with this particular part of being bipolar, we label it being non-compliant or in your case…borderline, it’s the patient’s fault because they’re crazy, so it must not be that the medication isn’t working.
It is not a misdiagnosis. I am bipolar 2. I was on meds for five and a half years, the meds worked, so I took them. Then I got a rash (possibly because of going from name brand to generic) and couldn’t go back on the meds. Tried a bunch of others but their side effects were terrible…lithium made me incredibly depressed and suicidal, another one made it so that I couldn’t drive or perform mentally complicated tasks, although I was very pleasant to be around.
To work with not having medication, I do what I was doing before, get 8 hours of sleep, eat healthy, write down my thoughts and redirect them, making sure I have privacy and time to deal with how I’m feeling away from other people, practice yoga, go on walks, also taking b complex and omega 3s. I go to the psychiatrist any way just to have someone to check in with.
It’s very frustrating to try to do everything correctly and not have it work. It would be lovely to have an emotional safety net but I don’t right now.
Hi Rachel,
I certainly wasn’t saying you _were_ misdiagnosed, simply that such things are possible, which they are. I don’t know you and have no reason to believe you are anything other than what you have said you are.
I agree, being called boarderline is a problem for people with bipolar disorder – I’ve mentioned it a few times. And people occasionally pop by here to tell me I’ve been “misdiagnosed” as well. But this is all just silly. Only you (or I) and your doctor know the details that have gone into your diagnosis.
And medication reaction is neither sufficient nor necessary for diagnosis.
– Natasha Tracy
I have type 1 Bipolar and I am unfortunately not on any medication not by choice but because I simply cannot. I have severe debilitating tinnitus in my left ear and every drug and treatment – lithium, lamictal, SSRI, ECT, TMS absolutely anything that raises serotonin spikes my tinnitus to a higher level and upon discontinuing the medication the tinnitus remains at the higher level . I am very worried that my health will decline further as I am and will be un medicated probably for the rest of my life. Some people and even my psychiatrist have told me to take medication and have treatment- very easy for them because I can tell the uniformed severe tinnitus is capable of driving people to suicide as easily as bipolar disorder can. Any advice greatly appreciated.
Hi Paul,
I’m not a doctor so I can offer suggestions, but you should review anything carefully with your doctor.
Have you tried ketamine? It blocks NMDA receptors and modulates glutamate. It may get around your serotonin issue. Also, I don’t know all the pharmacology of all the anticonvulsants, but I suspect there must be one or more that don’t work on serotonin. Something like armodafinil (Nuvigil) may also be an option for depression treatment (although I can’t say whether it will cause mania without an accompanying mood stabilizer). Or what about antipsychotics?
If none of these have been suggested to you, I suggest finding a new doctor if you can. If you can’t, maybe bring some of these ideas to your current one for discussion.
I know tinnitus can drive people to extreme acts and I would never tell someone it’s minor, so I feel for you.
I hope that helps.
– Natasha Tracy
I am currently off my medications. The side effects are terrible. Depocate made me lose my hair and keep on weight. I started on Lithium in 1992. I could write a book about those side affects. They made me limp and I felt crazier than a hoot-owl. I try not to feel ashamed of the diagnois, but when I talk too fast and get mad at my adult children, the first thing out of the two younger ones is “Are you on your medicine.” I recently discovered melatonin for sleep and when I’m wound up now I can sleep. Faith helps and exercise. I have had an extremely stressful life and I believe wrong thinking and beating upself up too much, and thinking I have too much control over what happens to people, is definitely wrong. I am letting go and letting God handle things and I’ve never felt better. However, the ugly bipolar muse rears it’s ugly head sometimes and I don’t want to drive my new husband crazy. I do find marriage hard as I was single for 18 years, and as marriage is mostly compromise I find it hard to blend as I probably should. I attended DBSA (Depression Bi-polar Support Association) and I learned soo much! Psch docs that really don’t have the time or interest to find out what is really going on in your life leave me cold. They can dispense pills like candy. You really have to be an advocate for your own physical and mental health.
Hi Irma,
It’s not about it being MY disease and MY pain. It’s not about that at all. It’s about understanding that no matter how brilliant a person thinks they are, they don’t have the answer. Period.
People have AN answer. Which might work for them. If that.
I’m constantly validating people’s opinion because everyone has one, and that’s fine. I’m talking about people who don’t think it’s an opinion, they think it is a fact.
“You should be on a gluten-free diet.” These is no evidence that this would be helpful.
“You should turn your life over to Jesus Christ.” Give me a break.
“You should get off all your meds.” Medically dangerous and might induce any number of horrible things like a seizure but on top of that, there is no evidence to suggest this would be useful.
“You should take X supplement.” There is no evidence this would work.
And so on and so on.
People are free to try any of those things if they so desire but to suggest that any of them would work for bipolars in general is preposterous and fallacious.
You know what I really like? Kinky sex. It’s better than any other kind of sex. I do all sorts of bizzario things and enjoy them greatly.
But you don’t hear me running around telling people to do that to either fix their sex life or make themselves happy. It is this level of hubris of which I speak.
– Natasha
well, Isn’t “you have to take meds for the rest of your life and put up with the side effects” another of those statements? Don’t work for some.
Me and some people who decided to do the med-free route (and we are kinda good at it so far) have encountered it when we tried to seek help in therapy for other issues that our mood swings… cannot talk about anything without being told meds may help no matter what it is.
Recently a well meaning person (fortunatelly not a therapist) told me meds may help me with dealing with living in the collapsing EU zone.
“I know the feeling. I hate seeing people believing in magic. It’s OK in Las Vegas but not when it comes to your brain.”
sorry, but to me psychmeds are magic. Even shrinks use words as “art” to describe them (I would rather compare it to how I fix computers. By randomly installing and deleting stuff and messing up with setting to see if it works. It does sometimes). If it works for you, than fine, and great for you…. but it does not work for anybody. Add to it how incompetent the current system is, with 15 minutes appointments and dehumanizing people into list of symptoms…
I somehow cannot defend that system. Unless you can afford top notch doctors, then it may be better stay away from it.
Hi Venus,
I’m not sure who you’re quoting, but it isn’t me. You’re right. Not everything works for all people.
I can understand your frustration in seeing therapists who do not agree with your therapeutic technique. It’s difficult to support a strategy that you see people fail with all the time. (And believe me, when people go off their meds, they most often have a meltdown. Perhaps not you, but many.)
I can understand your frustration with psychiatry and you’re certainly not alone. If you’ve found something that works for you, then that’s great and some treatment providers will respect that.
– Natasha Tracy
Certainly your situation is unique.
But it’s very common to get this response from uniquely ill people: It’s MY disease, it’s MY pain, don’t touch on it, I’m the only one who can have it like this.
When you’re putting out your experience, your readers engage their minds on your part and mirror your suffering as they imagine it to be. So they conclude from their imagination, not to end your suffering but theirs. And as you put your life out in writing, they put out theirs, in the advice that gave them hope.
It’s clear that this advice couldn’t apply to you. But perhaps it would be a nice gesture to appreciate the fact that they felt with you for a short moment. There is an easy line to help you out: “Thanks for saying so. If I was in your position, I’d think the same way… ” and then in your mind you add: “but I’m not.”
Hi Midnight,
I would say that’s pretty accurate. It’s generally all about an individual treatment.
Yeah, that song thing is brutal. It does feel like an absolute torment. Being “ground down” is a great description. It sounds like you have it pretty bad with having it two weeks at a time, and not sleeping. Yowza.
(I find sleep meds shut it up, but you might need to increase the dose.)
I do think relating to music is part of it, but the intensity, feels bipolar all the way.
Of course you’re not alone. Don’t be silly. ;)
– Natasha
I don’t know that there is a cure, but I study many different theories and find what works for me. I believe being biplor is too individual for any one person to say, “this is the answer.” I only share my story and what is or isn’t working for me. Which includes my p-doc. We only change anything when I agree to it. If I’m not comfortable I won’t do it.
I really believe it comes down to knowing yourself and how you operate with bipolar. Knowing the triggers and red flags that are yours and then working from there to help yourself.
Speaking of which I wanted to comment on your last blog about how a song or piece of a song can repeat over and over in your head. I had never heard anyone else speak of that and I have the same issue. Currently I have three lines from a new album that is slicing my brain to pieces. It usually last about two weeks or so. The first week is fun, the second is when it starts draggin me into the ground. Every minute of ever waking and probably sleeping hour, these songs lines plague my brain and are ground into my every thought. There have even been times that it has kept me from sleeping at night as it pounds over and over.
After reading your post, I asked my husband if he ever had the same problem. I had never brought it up to him, and he said no. I thought it was just my love and obession with music going a little haywire. I was so surprised to read that you have had similiar experiences and I just wanted to thank you for sharing and letting me know I’m not alone with it. Thank you.
Midnight- I have the same issue! I love music as well and if a song catches me (or even if I hate it) I can remember every line every beat, and it will play over and over, god it drives me crazy. This is also the case for movie lines as well, or kids movies. It’s weird because this only happens once in awhile, probably mania or hypo-mania. These are the times I tell myself to shut up, at which I get strange glances. Oh well.
Midnight & Samantha. I am so glad for your posts about getting songs stuck in your head. I’m NOT alone! Most often it is songs but only a specific line of a song that plays over and over for weeks at a time. It drives me insane! Sometimes it can be a word or a name that I just seem to pluck out of the air. Here’s how crazy I am… I get a name stuck in my head for weeks and then finally I meet someone who has that name I feel psychic and believe that person has some kind of message for me. I talk to my psychiatrist about it and he says that is my mania at work. I wish that I could just turn it off but even with my meds it still happens. What helps sometimes is to play a different song pandora and hopefully get a different song stuck…I keep repeating this so that at least I don’t have the same song stuck in my head for weeks.
Midnight, Samantha and Patricia,
I must have been busy when this comment was first left because I have to say – ME TOO. I might just have to write about it seeing as these comments have come in. I absolutely get obsessive thought patterns that typically latch onto music but can latch onto words as well. People don’t understand that sometimes when they say something really hurtful to me it becomes an obsessive thought that I _can’t_ get out of my head no matter _what_. And really, it just drives me up a freaking wall. I go to bed, and there’s the thought and I wake up and there it is again. It distracts me from everything.
I always figured it was a bipolar thing but, typically, that kind of thought pattern is only associated with mania/hypomania and I don’t find it’s related to that mood episode, particularly.
– Natasha Tracy
I’m happy to have found your writing.
In my late teens my parents were told by our Pastor that I could be cured by having the demons that were possessing me….cast out. Nothing makes a teen hate their parents more than having them try to cast demons out of you.
In my experience, both prayer and demonic excorcisms aren’t good home remedies for Bipolar Disorder.
Thank you for your words.
Hi Stevie,
I can only say I’m sorry. I find it impossible to conceptualize of people who think that demons cause a mental illness and that they can be “cast out” in some way. It seems like a good way to make a person hate a lot of things.
– Natasha
I am with you on this. I think for the most part people that offer up suggestions or remedies are well-meaning. I don’t think there will ever be a cure, the pharmaceutical companies stand to profit way too much with maintenance drugs. But how nice would it be if “just get back on the horse” would come in pill form?
Hi Donda,
I’m really not a fan of the “drug companies are keeping us sick” line of thinking. Believe me, if anyone thought they had a cure for a mental illness drug companies would be screaming into the patent office. The reason there isn’t a cure is because we don’t understand the brain or the disease nearly well enough to even have a fighting chance at it.
(I wrote about depression not being a chemical imbalance here: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2010/11/depression-isne28099t-a-chemical-imbalance/)
And yes, it would be great if there were a cure. Sign me up for that.
– Natasha
I recommend a good read: A Symphony in the Brain by Jim Robbins. It’s on Neurofeedback which has gotten a bad rap due to Biofeedback mishaps in the past and the lack of funding for double-blind randomized studies. The book chronicles the trials and tribulations of it and the anecdotal, yes anecdotal, (which aren’t all bad) nature of neurofeedback’s success. It’s been used in schools to help with reading improvement and ADD et al. It began as a testing treatment for seizures. It’s of course based on the electrical brain signals rather than on chemistry (our current mode of treatment). That’s where they believe the real issues lie. It’s been used for depression but not for bipolar. Apparently they haven’t had as much success there. Interesting. But it has worked wonders for some people with severe head injuries and strokes. Yet another thing to look at, but what’s promising to me is that it isn’t chemical. sorry for the long wind.
Hi Meredith,
Oh, that’s not long-winded. Believe me, I know long-winded ;)
Neurofeedback is interesting. As is rapid eye movement desensitization. I suspect the reason why they haven’t had luck in bipolar as the mechanism that causes bipolar is more akin to schizophrenia than to depression (just my educated guess there).
I’d try it if I had the opportunity.
– Natasha Tracy
HI Natasha,
The interesting thing for me is that it’s geared to treating symptoms, much like the drugs, because that’s all we really have to go on with mental illness (i.e., no understanding of source). So if it’s just treating symptoms, why can’t it treat the symptoms we bipolars have? One guess: it’s too complicated, like schizophrenia. Depression and ADD are on a single side of the spectrum (not the same one, obviously) so it’s easier for them to say train the right side of the brain this much and things will be better, or train at this frequency and that will work for this behavior. Funny thing about me and my drugs, is if I mess with one, it can have the effect of canceling out some of another’s effects. I think that may happen with the brain wave training as well. I’m going to look into it more. My therapist wants to get a machine. She took the training.
Hi Meredith,
I would agree, it’s too complicated.
For example, bipolars with depression have what they call “atypical” depression symptoms. So your average unipolar sleeps too little but a bipolar sleeps too much when depressed. So there’s distinctly something different that we don’t understand happening.
Drugs absolutely do interact with each other and one can easily “turn up” the effect of another. Some combinations are known to work that way, other combinations we come across work that way for an individual.
– Natasha Tracy
There is a spectrum but it goes between depression and bipolar mania. Schizophrenia is an organic brain disease: an actual atrophy of the brain. I think meds based on genetics aren’t far off. The comment on neurofeedback was interesting. Teaching yourself to tell your body what electrical conductivity you want it to fire is probable. The mind is amazing. What happens to a thought after you’ve thought it? Is that electrical action potential forever criss-crossing the brain of bipolar individuals instead of being released? Why do individuals in manic states find patterns in the world around them easily, can that be processed with them into a therapeutic outcome?
I’m thinking you need to spend just one day w/ my husband who hasn’t a clue as to what I’m going through and refuses to try and figure it out. I went years and years in denial and undiagnosed. Now for the past 3 years I have spent the time trying to find what works for me and I’ve yet to find it. Usually when I find something it only lasts a short while.
Hi Melissa,
Hmmm, I’ve never considered renting myself out as “the real bipolar experience”. A new income stream perhaps.
Unfortunately, some people simply don’t understand and don’t want to; and there nothing any of us can do about that. It’s like learning a language, if you have no interest in speaking French it doesn’t matter how many conjugations I throw in your direction.
If you think it will help, some people have found printing out some information (yes, some of my articles here, or other sites that you like) can help inform others. It can be really tough to express what you’re really going through and sometimes the third-party source can be helpful.
I’m sorry you haven’t found what works for you yet. Don’t give up. It can happen. Believe me, it will get better.
– Natasha
Yes I agree. I’ve even fell victim to some of the “Herbal. Natural Cures.” Talk about evil. No! They don’t work. Get pro advice. Like I do here and from other pro’s.
Hi Buzz,
Careful now, I’m not a pro.
Yup, I’ve fallen victim to it too which is probably why it irks me so much.
– Natasha
Hi Jake,
I know the feeling. I hate seeing people believing in magic. It’s OK in Las Vegas but not when it comes to your brain.
It’s only the most ignorant and careless of people that would recommend getting off of psyche meds without major doctor oversight. Unfortunately, as you said, staying compliant is hard and it’s easy to get swayed when you never wanted to be on drugs in the first place. I do believe to some extent, you need blinders. You have to get up every while and look around for anything credible and new, but other than that, sometimes the best thing is to keep your head down.
– Natasha
This was a very interesting post for me. It is frustrating for me when I see people taken advantage of and I have see friends fall prey to dumbass treatments or lack thereof.
I have a dear friend who believed she could be treated with prayer and fish oil and go completely off psyche meds.
Personally I find it hard to stay compliant and I have to work hard at ignoring people who will “lead me down the garden path” with their homecures for my brain disorder.
cheers Natasha