It’s the time of year when everyone is making New Year’s resolutions – including New Year’s resolutions by those with bipolar disorder. While I’m not a huge believer in “New Year’s” resolutions (I think you can resolve to change in small ways at any time), I do think that there are ways to create good New Year’s resolutions if you have bipolar disorder and, perhaps more importantly, bad ones. Here’s how to avoid bad New Year’s resolutions by making good New Year’s resolutions if you have bipolar disorder.
What Is a Bad New Year’s Resolution If You Have Bipolar Disorder?
Anyone can make a “bad” New Year’s resolution. But what does “bad” mean?
Of course, this is just my opinion, but I believe that “bad” New Year’s resolutions are negative and/or self-defeating. I believe no one should make a resolution that reinforces the negative – it’s a terrible way to start off the year – and, of course, any resolution that is self-defeating is going to be really bad because it will make you feel like you’ve “failed” when you don’t complete that goal.
Now, while anyone can make these bad New Year’s resolutions, I would suggest that it’s worse when people with bipolar disorder or another mental illness make them as it negatively impacts mental illness – something that none of us need.
Examples of bad New Year’s resolutions when you have bipolar disorder include:
- I’m going to be less fat.
- I’m going to be less stupid.
- I’m going to stop messing up.
- I’m going to stop being so depressed.
These are just horrible New Year’s resolutions for a person with bipolar disorder (or anyone else). While you might want to achieve goals like the above, you can do that through positive New Year’s resolutions that will make you much more likely to succeed. After all, how does anyone stop “messing up” when that’s something that’s all humans do.
Good New Year’s Resolutions with Bipolar Disorder
I understand the above goals but I also understand that it’s likely a depressed brain that’s spitting them out. They seem to be goals given by someone who hates you and you want compassionate goals from someone who loves you.
So, if you want to “be less fat,” of course, you should start by not calling yourself a derogatory name. Then, you should try to identify realistic sub-goals, small steps that you can reasonably take, to eventually meet this goal.
Examples of this might be:
- I’m going to get a fitness tracker and increase my average daily steps.
- I’m going to sign up for once-a-week yoga classes with a friend.
- I’m going to make sure and eat one or more servings of vegetables a day.
These things are all reasonably achievable for most people. (You should feel free to customize them for you, of course.) You need to recognize your limits and create resolutions not because other people think they’re good but because you find them to be reasonable for you. You also need to make them positive. You need to confirm that you are great as you are today, and what you’re trying to do is improve, not “fix.” You want to bolster your mental health with these resolutions, not undermine it.
Bipolar and New Year’s Resolutions
So if you want to create some resolutions for this New Year, think about positivity and creating good New Year’s resolutions for yourself. And remember, even if you don’t live those resolutions (because living resolutions are hard), you are fabulous today. Wanting to improve is great, but you aren’t starting at zero. Don’t let resolutions you made because of an arbitrary date hurt your mental health – it’s not worth it.
And while New Year’s resolutions might be traditional, you can always make February 1st resolutions, too.
Natasha, thanks for writing what I’ve been thinking. I never make resolutions, I figure I would be setting myself up for failure. Just because the year changed doesn’t mean that I became a different person overnight. A person who can make and keep promises to herself.
The things that I wanted to change where framed in self-loathing language. I think your suggestions about taking small steps is doable.
Thank you for your voice.
I’m going to try harder to take each day as it comes.
Remembering life is short to hold rows & such.
This illness isn’t a death sentence unless you choose to visualize it as such.
Think of all the things I’m able to do that many other ppl with more serious ailments
cannot .
I’m thankful I’ve a family that has at least done their best to understand and still love me
Through the worst of my bipolar,and other illness.
I’m not happy as the dictonary definition would say.
But I’m much more stable,little things don’t blow up in my mind anymore,and I attribute this.
To good meds,fam support,particularly my younger brother who I’m in constant email with,
Help physically too from my sister,who knows when I do have my moments ( I still do did lately
My cat has been sick) takes the drivers seat
Still up in the air ) plus I’m a Buddhist, very different way of viewing life.
Also crystals must buy more this year healing purposes particularly for my cat.
So,before you let your emotions take over think of the other person first …..this world even on YouTube
Doesn’t need anymore hate or negativity. Treat others as you wish to be,love & peace.
Hope everyone has good health in 2018, but we all know it’s not simply meds. It’s along process.
So I’ll finish with a quote from a very intelligent man ( my dad) all we can do is our best,( so true!!!)
i tend to rejejct simple self-help slogans, mostly out of snobbery, i guess, which is a flaw that’s survived many a year’s resolution. (deep down i still believe i’m my pre-diagnosis self, the guy that everyone, or, perhaps just i, thought was destined for a better life than this.) still, lately i’ve had “let go, let god,” running through my head. which is a strange thing for a lifelong atheist to have in his head; whatever, it’s acquired a personal meaning.
analogy: thirty years ago my older brother and i were sailing on a large vermont lake when a squall came out of nowhere. the mast snapped and the boat turtled in the high waves. as kids you learn the rule, always stay with the boat, which most of the time is a wise thing to do, since even with a life preserver you’re chances of drowning are high if the wind takes you off to who knows where. except the (old, waterlogged) boat sank. we wisely did not hang on to it any more.
this new years, i’m aware of lots of things i should just let go off. the idea that i’m just not good enough, plus the fantasy that i was meant for better things, i’m imagining a great cloud of bubbles as these beliefs head for the bottom, a hundred feet below.
I’ve had bipolar disorder for over 30 years now, taking medication also. I enjoyed reading this article it helped me to confirm that my New Year’s resolution for 2018 is to practice mindfulness at least five minutes a day and to be more positive with myself and compassionate in my self-care. Thank you
Happy new year Natasha! Great article. It really shows that self-talk and language we use are so important. Framing things is the positive, especially goals, is reinforcing. I like the word ‘improve” and the phrase “great as you are today”. Work with where you’re at with what you’ve got. Very good take on the whole resolution thing. I do this thing (ritual I guess) at my church on the first Sunday of the new year called the Burning Bowl. We write what we want to release from our lives from the previous year (habits, behaviors, old thought forms, negative beliefs, etc) on this paper that magically disappears when you put it over a candle bowl. Then we get this cool little “angel cards” with a positive phrase on that we can use as a “theme” for the new year. In the past I’ve gotten “expectancy”, “faith”, “gratitude”…etc. I tape it over the camera on my laptop so I can be reminded of it all year long. The word often starts to be fodder for my journals and writings for the year.
Belated Happy NEW YEAR To You And Your Family & Loved Ones :)
One Of My Favorite Songs At The Moment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JofwEB9g1zg
Greeting From Your “Friend” in the Netherlands.
Wiekert Blaak.