z_features Archives - Page 24 of 25 - Natasha Tracy Bipolar Expert

Bipolar, Hypomania, Depression and Looking Crazy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jan 10, 2011

I can feel the post-depression-bounce-back hypomania beginning in my brain; not in my body, only in my brain. Hypomanic symptoms started yesterday evening. Things started seeming clear, perhaps just a little too clear, and certainly a little too fast. Bipolar fast. Gospel music (yes, oddly) played in my head intermittently while I guided an old tourist couple to the park, I drafted my upcoming novel, planned a conversation, and I investigated the fallen tree branch in the middle of the baseball field. Rapid fire thoughts, hypomanic thoughts, took over.

Hope and Resolutions – New Year, Same Bipolar

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jan 6, 2011

So here it is, 2011. Yes, a new year. People are full of hope, resolutions and motivation for change.

It should come as no surprise that I, the bipolar, the depressive, the philosopher, the writer, am not.

Resolutions and Hope for the New Year

Most people, mostly wrong people, think that they can seize this moment to change their life. People think that this arbitrary moment of existence somehow means that they can make their lives better.

Silly, sill them.

Resolutions and Disappointment for the New Year

The new year really means silly promises that people don’t keep and then are disappointed about by February 1st, if they’re lucky enough to last that long. Anyone still losing weight, going to the gym, reading more, quitting smoking, reducing debt or volunteering like they promised last year?

Resolutions and Hope: New Year, Same Bipolar

So my problem, the thing that really sticks in my craw, is this: if your average person can’t be expected to keep a New Year’s resolution, what chance does a crazy person have?

I’d say, very little.

Depression, Intrinsic and Extrinsic Sadness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jan 5, 2011

There are two categories of sadness: intrinsic and extrinsic, or internal and external. Within those categories there are is all manor of sadness, but for our purposes, we will make this single distinction.

Depression is Intrinsic Sadness

Intrinsic sadness is sadness from within and without cause.[push]Intrinsic sadness is pain without cause. It is without beginning or ending. It is sea you fall into without shore.[/push]

It typically presents itself in a clinical sense as depression. In a physiological sense, it’s misfiring (or not firing) neurotransmitters. Research suggests that a serious deficit of this type (depression) rarely rights itself without proper medical intervention. Intrinsic sadness is the stuff I feel most of the time in varying degrees thanks through my bipolar. Luckily most “normal” folk will only experience very limited intrinsic sadness and it’ll probably lead to just a blue day, and not depression.

Extrinsic Sadness Can Turn Into Depression

I’m Less Depressed and Crying More – Mixed Mood

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Dec 3, 2010

I’ve been horrendously depressed. That sort of catatonic depressed where reality shows hum before your eyes one after another because that’s all the stimulation your brain can take. Flashing images of substanceless people performing meaningless tasks on light box that removes you from reality.

A Mood is Never Just a Mood for a Bipolar

But I woke up this morning feeling better. This is always a warning sign of hypomania, or in this case, a mixed-mood. Because a mood is never just a mood to a bipolar. A mood is always a warning sign of a problem. Bipolars have to pay attention to moods because even good moods lead to bad things…

Saying Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 7, 2010

Pretty much weekly I get messages from people who are desperate to help a loved one with a mental illness. I hear versions of this story over and over, my child/parent/sibling/friend/spouse is sick and won’t get help for their mental illness. They say they would rather be in jail than be on medication for their mental illness. They can’t take care of themselves and they are going to end up on the street. Their behavior is destroying our family/relationship. Their behavior is destroying them.

Believe me, I get it. I really, really do. And sometimes you have to except that not everyone with a mental illness will get help. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness.

Doctors, Psychiatrists and Psychotherapy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 29, 2010

When I tell people to see a mental health professional, I recommend they get someone who specializes in whatever mental illness the person has. This is just common sense. You don’t go to a neurologist when your foot hurts.

I also tell people to get a therapist who specializes in their disorder. Again, this makes sense. Honestly, if your therapist is used to hearing the woes of the Real Housewives of Some Rich Place then they may not be the best choice for a person with major depressive disorder.

I tell people to get a therapist for their mental illness because psychiatrists don’t do psychotherapy.

Low Dose Antipsychotics – Do They Help?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 13, 2010

I am very medication-reactive. Not so much with the positive effects, but I can almost guarantee you I’ll get all the side effects.I get every side effect for antidepressants, every side effect for antipsychotics and every side effect for pretty much anything else.

And sometimes, just for good measure, I’ll get side effects that doctors say “aren’t possible”. They are my favorite. And those overractions are often on the lowest known effective dose of the medication.

But if you add a low dose, lower than thought effective, of an antipsychotic, can this be helpful?

Stop Telling Me How to Make My Bipolar Better

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 8, 2010

Here at BurbleCo I try to relate matters in a very even-handed, logical and frank way. I attempt to deliver my opinions and facts as just that, opinions and facts. I try not to inflame groups with whom I vehamently disagree. I try to respect everyone’s point of view as I wish to have mine respected. I short, I try to act like grown-up. A kind, caring, reasonable grown-up.

Well. Fuck. That. Shit.

I Hate Psych Meds but Medication Non-Compliance Kills

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 4, 2010

I have written thousands and thousands of words in this blog and elsewhere about how much I hate medication.

I hate it in the car, I hate it on a train, I hate on a boat, I hate it in the rain.
I hate it in the snow, I hate it in the sun, I hate it standing still, I hate it on the run.
I hate it before breakfast, I hate it after lunch, I hate it in the morning, I hate it during brunch.

And while I could fill an entire blog with all the ways I hate psych meds, I still, take them, everyday.

Weird you say?

(Well, yes. But no more so than the disease it treats.)

Because no matter how much I might hate psych meds, medication non-compliance kills.