Bipolar blog Archives - Page 18 of 82 - Natasha Tracy Bipolar Expert

Depression Makes Me Hard to Know — Hidden Depression

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 30, 2019

Depression makes me hard to get to know. (Well, the bipolar globally, but I’m primarily depressed, so I’ll focus on that.) I didn’t know this for the longest time. I thought I was an open book. And, really, if you ask me something, I’ll tell you about it. There’s very little that I’m not comfortable talking about. I’m honest. I engage in long conversations — sometimes about me. I thought that meant it was easy to get to know me but it turns out this isn’t the experience other people were having. Then the other day, I saw a list of 10 characteristics of perfectly hidden depression and I realized those characteristics described me. So, as it turns out, depression — hidden depression — makes me hard to get to know.

When Nothing Helps Your Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 26, 2019

Sometimes nothing helps my mental illness. I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but it’s true. Sometimes no matter the action, no matter the coping skill, no matter the thought pattern, my bipolar just don’t get better. This is difficult for those around me, and it’s especially disheartening for me. But it’s just a fact, sometimes nothing helps my mental illness.

Are People with Serious Mental Illness Spoonies? What’s a Spoonie?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 13, 2019

“Spoonies” have traditionally been thought of as people with serious, chronic illnesses of the body (outside of mental illnesses), but are people with serious, chronic mental illnesses really spoonies too? Personally, I identify as a spoonie and I think many people with serious, chronic mental illnesses are spoonies too. Read on to learn about what a spoonie is and how using the spoonie lexicon can help those with serious, chronic mental illness.

Exercise and Bipolar — Evidence and My Experience

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 2, 2019

Many suggest that exercise can help with bipolar disorder. For those of us with severe bipolar disorder, this is a bit frustrating. After all, if you can’t get out of bed, taking a brisk jog is right out of the question. And I’m a stellar example of someone who has always hated exercise — before bipolar and now with bipolar disorder. I’m also someone who has tried to exercise over and over again with great failure as a result. So today I want to talk about the evidence of exercise in bipolar disorder and my past year-and-a-half attempt to exercise.

Saying ‘I’m Grumpy’ When Really I’m Depressed — Social Acceptability of Sadness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 28, 2019

I say “I’m grumpy” when really I’m depressed all the time. Like, all the time. It just seems to slip out when people ask me how I am. I think it’s because saying “I’m grumpy” feels like less of a lie than “I’m fine.” I also think that saying “I’m grumpy” is more socially appropriate than saying “I’m depressed.” It’s like saying, “I’m dealing with a negative emotion right now but it’s one you’ll understand,” as opposed to, “I’m dealing with an illness right now that you’ll never understand.” So, yes, when I’m depressed I’ll most often admit to being “grumpy.”

‘Better’ and ‘Worse’ Mental Illness Diagnoses

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 16, 2019

There is this concept that some mental illness diagnoses are better or worse than others. Once you start looking for this concept, you’ll see evidence of it all over the place, such as in: “At least I don’t have schizophrenia,” or, “Don’t date borderlines, they’re really messed up.” But why do people think some mental illness diagnoses are better or worse than others?

Britney Spears’ Conservatorship and Mental Health

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 30, 2019

Today I’m going to write about the conservatorship of Britney Spears and how it relates to mental health. Last week I wrote about the #FreeBritney movement and how people are declaring the Britney Spears is being held at a mental health facility against her will. I made the point that this is due to mental illness prejudice as no one would think she was being held against her will in another type of medical facility. (For the record, Spears is no longer in a mental health facility.)

The Battles of Depression and Suicide of an ‘Everyday Guy’

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 9, 2019

I have battled with what I now know is depression for the better part of a decade – since my teenage years. At the time, I didn’t see it as depression, it was simply a part of who I was. What my parents once considered to be nothing more than bouts of teenage angst, was something much more sinister. A while back I learned (in therapy) that most of my energy went into keeping me “above the surface.” Fighting like this really is a draining experience. It drained me emotionally, as well as physically.

Guilt Because of Depression Leading to Suicidal Ideation

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 2, 2019

I can’t tell you how horrible it is to be consumed by guilt because of depression and having that lead to suicidal ideation. Well, being consumed by guilt for any reason at all is horrible, but when it’s driven by depression — a demon in your brain — it’s incessant and resistant to logic. Yesterday I was overwhelmed by guilt because of depression and it actually made me suicidal.