Bipolar blog

Would Anyone Commit Suicide Because They Were Told To? The Blue Whale Challenge

→ July 12, 2017 - 8 Comments

Would Anyone Commit Suicide Because They Were Told To? The Blue Whale Challenge

Suicide is, sadly, something that happens every day. And while, in many cases, we will never know why the person chose to take his or her life, in some cases, suicide seems to be caused by, or at least partially contributed by, someone else telling the person to commit suicide. Such is said to be the case of a recent suicide in San Antonio which may have been part of the “Blue Whale Challenge” or “Blue Whale Game”. Think no one would kill themselves because someone told them to? The evidence, and I, beg to differ.

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God Tests Those He Loves, with Bipolar, Apparently

→ July 6, 2017 - 28 Comments

God Tests Those He Loves, with Bipolar, Apparently

I know people are trying to help when they say to a person with bipolar, “God tests those he loves,” but, here’s the thing, it doesn’t help. It doesn’t help at all. All it makes me think is, “Is there some way I can make this god of yours hate me?”

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Bipolar and Being Incapacitated by Anxiety

→ June 21, 2017 - 13 Comments

Bipolar and Being Incapacitated by Anxiety

I know that anxiety is not a symptom of bipolar disorder, but many with bipolar disorder also suffer from anxiety, whether it’s an official anxiety disorder or not. And when my anxiety gets really bad, which it has been lately, I become absolutely incapacitated by anxiety. I, literally, sit on the couch unable to move to do anything. And writing or working is right out. Anxiety causing an inability to act is having a devastating effect on my life.

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Bipolar Depression: Anhedonia, Lack of Pleasure and Motivation

→ June 14, 2017 - 11 Comments

Bipolar Depression: Anhedonia, Lack of Pleasure and Motivation

I suffer from anhedonia in bipolar depression and this leads to a lack of motivation. And when I say “suffer” I mean freaking suffer. I mean it’s horrible. I mean it’s probably the worst part about my bipolar depressions. Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure. Most people cannot conceptualize of this, but believe me, anhedonia in depression is a real thing and a real problem.

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Stop Being So Negative About Bipolar Disorder

→ June 6, 2017 - 18 Comments

Stop Being So Negative About Bipolar Disorder

People have said to me, “Stop being so negative about bipolar disorder!” People feel free to critique me at any moment and make sweeping statements like that at any time. It comes with being read by so many, I suppose. So when someone says I’m writing about bipolar disorder too negatively, it is not the first time and I would imagine it won’t be the last. I, however, feel I am quite realistic about bipolar – not overly negative or positive.

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Assisted Outpatient Treatment Upholds Civil Liberties, Doesn’t Deny Them

→ May 31, 2017 - 16 Comments

Assisted Outpatient Treatment Upholds Civil Liberties, Doesn’t Deny Them

Assisted outpatient treatment (AOT) is finally coming into its own. After so many people fighting for the rights of the seriously mentally ill for a decade, this lifesaving treatment option is finally available in the vast majority of states. But many people feel that assisted outpatient treatment denies civil liberties. I would argue, however, assisted outpatient treatment actually upholds civil liberties, not to mention upholds societal ethics.

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Bipolar: No Amount of Pain Can Kill You – Power Over Suicide

→ May 17, 2017 - 6 Comments

Bipolar: No Amount of Pain Can Kill You – Power Over Suicide

There is no amount of bipolar pain that can kill you; we have the ultimate power over suicide. I have suffered and suffered and suffered for so long that I know this to be true. Yes, people attempt/commit suicide, I know. But it isn’t because of the amount of pain, per se, it’s because they don’t see a way out of it. Because emotionally, I can hit you and hit you and hit you and you just won’t, cannot, die. Some days I wish this weren’t true. Some days I wish that the extreme pain would just kill me, that I would just get walloped that one last time and die. Like running into the final brick wall that bipolar offers only to find it really took my head clean off. I have learned, though, that I have the ultimate power over a death by suicide.

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What Is It Like to Be Hospitalized for a Suicidal Crisis? – A Survey

→ May 7, 2017 - 9 Comments

What Is It Like to Be Hospitalized for a Suicidal Crisis? – A Survey

Bipolar disorder is a deadly illness – make no mistake about it. Approximately 11% of those with bipolar die of suicide while up to 50% attempt suicide. This is something to be taken very, very seriously. I am one of those who have attempted suicide and I know about the importance of treating a suicidal crisis the right way, the humane way, the way that actually works to make people better.

I also know how infrequently this happens. I also know how people find going to the hospital a negative experience. I also know how some people have experienced dehumanizing treatment after experiencing a suicidal crisis. It seems that healthcare professionals forget that suicidal crises are a symptom of a serious illness and not a behavior simply committed to inconvenience them.

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How Bipolar Disorder Has Changed Me for Life

→ April 24, 2017 - 15 Comments

How Bipolar Disorder Has Changed Me for Life

Bipolar disorder has changed me forever. When I was first diagnosed with a mood disorder, they said this wouldn’t happen. When I was first diagnosed with a mood disorder, they said I would go back to who I was before it started. When I was first diagnosed with a mood disorder, every question they asked what about comparing my medicated self to my old self. But they were wrong and their questions were irrelevant, bipolar disorder has changed me for life and no medication is going to change that.

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Bipolar Disorder and Mood Self-Monitoring

→ April 17, 2017 - 14 Comments

Bipolar Disorder and Mood Self-Monitoring

I’ve talked about mood tracking before but, really, mood tracking starts with mood self-monitoring. In other words, there is nothing to track if you don’t know what’s going on in the first place. If you can’t say that you’re anxious, for example, then how are you going to track how anxious you are? But mood self-monitoring sucks because it’s a 24-hour-a day, seven-days-a-week kind-of-a-thing. With bipolar disorder, you never get a break from mood self-monitoring.

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If a Person with Mental Illness Won’t Accept His or Her Illness or Help

→ April 11, 2017 - 8 Comments

If a Person with Mental Illness Won’t Accept His or Her Illness or Help

I answer this question all the time: “How do I help someone with mental illness who denies their mental illness and won’t accept help?” It’s a constant problem for loved ones. People with mental illness frequently won’t accept their mental illness and won’t accept mental illness help because of it. And, not surprisingly, friends and family members don’t know what to do. If you love someone with a mental illness who won’t accept it, here are some suggestions of what to do.

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What Bipolar Mixed Moods Really Feel Like

→ April 4, 2017 - 14 Comments

What Bipolar Mixed Moods Really Feel Like

I’ve written a lot about bipolar mixed moods but not necessarily what bipolar mixed moods actually feel like. While it’s true mixed moods exist in bipolar I and bipolar II and it’s true mixed moods tend to worsen psychomotor agitation and increase the risk of suicide, this doesn’t tell you how bipolar mixed moods actually feel. This is different for everyone, but here is a window into how I experience mixed moods.

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