crazy Archives - Natasha Tracy Bipolar Expert

Am I Making Up My Mental Illness? Is Mental Illness All in My Head?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Feb 23, 2022

People sometimes tell those with mental illness that it’s “all in their head.” Would it surprise you to learn, then, that sometimes people with mental illness think the same thing? Sometimes people with mental illness wonder if they’re making it all up. I’ve had these thoughts. I’ve wondered if I was making up my mental illness. I’ve wondered if my bipolar was all in my head. Weird, for an advocate, I know, but let’s look a little deeper at it.

Why Don’t Doctors Listen to People with Bipolar Disorder?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 14, 2021

Doctors often don’t listen to people with bipolar disorder or other mental illnesses. In fact, most people with bipolar disorder know, the instant a doctor sees “bipolar disorder” on your chart, you’re screwed. Now, don’t get me wrong, not every doctor is the same, and I have had some doctors treat me with the same care I suspect they would offer anyone else. That said, on the whole, doctors don’t listen to people with bipolar disorder. Here’s why, and here’s how to fight it.

Recognizing the Real, Bipolar You and Not the Idealized You

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jan 24, 2018

I realize I need to recognize the real me who has bipolar disorder and not the idealized me that, theoretically, does not. What I need to recognize, to deal with, is the me of today and not the me before bipolar disorder or the me of five years ago. Things change. I have changed dramatically and what I’m capable of has changed too. I need to recognize this in everyday life. I need to work with the current, real, bipolar me and not the me I wish I were.

Why It Doesn’t Matter If I Call Myself Crazy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 12, 2015

I call myself crazy. I do. I’ve written about it before. I also say, “I am bipolar,” so shoot me. It’s not that I say these things pejoratively, I don’t, I say them because they’re correct usages of the English language and they are accurate. Other people have a problem with this. But you know what, their problem is not my problem. If I want to call myself crazy, or bipolar, or a redhead that’s my business, not yours.

Apologizing for Overreactions to Emotional Situations

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 19, 2013

Bipolar disorder is essentially your average emotions – only amplified. So bipolar is sadness, but to a level 11. Bipolar disorder is energetic, to a level 11. And so on. And, of course, as a human isn’t designed to run at a level 11, many other symptoms accompany those exaggerated experiences.

And while many of these exaggerated moods are related to no external stimuli at all and just appear out of the blue, some exaggerated moods are the result of something happening in the environment. Near as I can tell, bipolar disorder isn’t just an exaggeration of normal emotion it’s also an exaggeration of normal reactions to emotional situations.

Escaping a Bipolar Brain

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 20, 2012

This morning I was watching Perception, which is a TV show wherein the lead character has schizophrenia. He, like most of us with a mental illness, is trapped inside his head – trapped inside his mental illness. Oh, he functions and everything, but his mind is still trapped inside a sick brain.

And this is how mental illness is. My friend called it the ball and chain. He says I do really well for a person who’s always weighted down like that.

And this morning, one of the characters in the TV show said, “I spend a lot of my time finding puzzles hard enough to get him [the lead character] out of his head.”

When I heard that, I burst into tears.

Mental Illness – What is ‘Normal’ Anyway?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 5, 2012

A pet peeve of mine is when people say, “normal is just a dryer setting.”

Um. No, it isn’t. Normal is a word that means “conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.”

Normal is not just a freaking dryer setting and pardon me for stating the obvious, but I am bipolar and I am not normal.

Bipolar, Hypomania, Depression and Looking Crazy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jan 10, 2011

I can feel the post-depression-bounce-back hypomania beginning in my brain; not in my body, only in my brain. Hypomanic symptoms started yesterday evening. Things started seeming clear, perhaps just a little too clear, and certainly a little too fast. Bipolar fast. Gospel music (yes, oddly) played in my head intermittently while I guided an old tourist couple to the park, I drafted my upcoming novel, planned a conversation, and I investigated the fallen tree branch in the middle of the baseball field. Rapid fire thoughts, hypomanic thoughts, took over.

Dissociative Identity Disorder Goes Crazy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 28, 2010

As I mentioned last week, Holly Gray of Don’t Call Me Cybil is writing a guest post for me here this week. Well, that got kicked off because she asked me to write the inaugural guest post on her blog. My guest article was posted today and is about the label “crazy” and why us crazies shouldn’t be so afraid of it.

A little about Holly:

My name is Holly Gray. I’m 36 years old. I’m a writer and DID awareness advocate. I live in a stunningly beautiful area of the Pacific Northwest United States.

I am a real person with dissociative identity disorder.

Check out her dissociative identity disorder blog and check out my entry on my favorite word, “crazy” and how Words Don’t Hurt People, People Hurt People.

I’m thrilled to meet a real person with such a misunderstood disorder and it doesn’t hurt that she’s bright and articulate. Thanks to Holly for the opportunity to lend a few words.