The Reason You Shouldn’t Get Angry

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 11, 2012

There are very few times in life when I think it’s appropriate to be “mad.” It happens, without doubt, but generally I don’t find it very insightful or helpful. There’s always something underneath the anger. Usually it has to do with the desire to be loved. If you track the feeling back, like really, really back, that is what you’ll find.

Wife screams at husband for leaving socks on the floor for the 18th time.
Wife is angry because she doesn’t feel like her husband is listening to her.
Wife wants to be listened to so that she’ll feel important to her husband.
Wife wants to feel important to her husband so that she’ll know he loves her.
Wife wants to know he loves her so she knows he’ll stay around.
Wife is afraid of being left by husband.
Wife is afraid of being unloved.

That’ll be $3000 in therapy bills, please.

There’s No Point Getting Mad About Socks

So you see, there’s no point in getting mad about socks. Just skip down a bit and talk about wanting to be listened to and feel important. The husband has more of a chance of understanding what’s going on that way. The husband has more of a chance of understanding why socks matter. When of course, socks don’t matter at all.

Other people don’t feel this way. Other people seem intent on yelling about socks. I get it; I’m weird; I’m crazy; I don’t perceive the world the way everyone else does. And I really don’t perceive whyfor all the yelling about socks.

Emotional Overreactions and Depression

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Feb 19, 2012

Yesterday I was having a good day. This doesn’t happen to me all that often but I was being all productive and downright cheery. Miracles. Every day.

But then something happened. It wasn’t an earth-shattering thing, it was just a thing. A life thing. A thing that your average person would feel bad about but not the end of the world.

Just the end of my world.

Depression

Depression is a funny thing. Not so much funny ha ha but more funny want to slit your throat. Depression makes you believe things that aren’t true. Depression makes you believe that you are lowly, that you are nothing, that you are unlovable, that you are unlikeable, and a host of other things all seemingly designed to tear you to the floor.

And it’s really unfortunate when life events work to confirm, or seemingly confirm, these false beliefs.

Loved In Spite of Bipolar, Loved Because of Bipolar

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Dec 2, 2010

I have explained to many people, many times, that bipolar is existence at the ends of a spectrum. It’s not that your average person doesn’t get sad, or happy, or devastated, or elated, it’s simply that they do not experience these emotions so fully, so much of the time. My bipolar problem isn’t the existence of these emotions, simply their intensity, their duration and their frequency.

All this bipolar emotion makes people look at me strangely. I know. But oddly, someone it seems not only loves me in spite of bipolar but even finds reasons to love me in the bipolar, because of the bipolar. Love.

I’m Damaged. I’m Bipolar. Love Me. Save Me.

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 14, 2010

Last night I watched Crazy for Love a very bad movie wherein a man, Max, is put into a mental hospital for attempting suicide for the tenth time. When he’s there, he glimpses a very ill, schizophrenic, Grace, whereupon he instantaneously falls in love with her. She too is determined to kill herself. His life’s mission then is to “make her better”. To “make her happy”. Having found his new mission in life, he no longer wants to kill himself.

Well, pin a rose on his nose.

Self-Harm: Stabbing Yourself is Bad

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 28, 2010

Stabbing is bad. It just is. If you have to pick self-harm options between cutting, hitting, and stabbing, don’t pick stabbing.

Unless you’re trying to kill someone, in which case I think stabbing would be pretty good. And satisfying. I’m surprised more murderers don’t pick stabbing.

Anxiety, Impulse Control Self-Harm and Stabbing

I’m having anxiety issues. And impulse control issues. And stabbing issues. Well, that last one is really a function of the other two, but it’s an issue nonetheless.

I’ve always been attracted to stabbing. I think that’s because when you start wielding a blade with force, you can’t change your mind. And it’s so easy to did deep. And draw a lot of blood.

Depression: Silence of Being Ignored Feels Like Loss

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 14, 2010

This silence feels familiar. I despise the deafening, familiar sounds of silence. They terrify me. I suppose the silence strangles me. Strangled, alone, screaming.

I Hate Being Ignored

People who know me, know this about me. They know how much I hate being ignored. They know that when they don’t return my calls or my emails my mind riles in negative and catastrophic scenarios. People who actually like me don’t want to do that to me.

How to Make the World Better for the Mentally Ill

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 2, 2010

It’s understandable that people who love those of us with a mental illness tend to feel powerless. But here are some ways you can help make the world better for the mentally ill.

Six Ways to Help People with Mental Illnesses

Bipolar is one of the most commonly diagnosed psychiatric conditions among teens and twenty-somethings, but there has been little written about it from a younger person’s perspective and few people know how to approach the topic. In her new book, Welcome to the Jungle: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Bipolar but Were Too Freaked Out to Ask (Conari Press, May 2010), Hilary Smith fills in the gap with an upfront and empowering approach to the challenges of being diagnosed with bipolar. Here she shares with us six tips for making the world a better place for people with mental illnesses.