Bipolar Disorder Type I: Mania and Delusions of Grandeur
Not long ago the Bipolar Burble had a commenter ask me about delusions of grandeur in mania as a part of bipolar disorder. She was feeling alone in her experiences and so was hesitant to talk about her own delusions of grandeur during mania.
I’m not familiar with delusions of grandeur in mania and bipolar disorder so I looked it up and I asked if anyone had stories of their mania and delusions of grandeur. Naturally, my lovely readers provided.
Delusions of Grandeur as a Part of Mania of Bipolar Disorder
Delusions of grandeur is not officially listed as part if the diagnostic and statistics manual (DSM) of mental illness. Accoding to the DSM-IV TR (the latest version) one of the symptoms of bipolar mania is:
Inflated self-esteem to levels of grandiosity
Without mention of delusions in mania. However, this physician’s reference adds:
Mania may also include . . . delusions of grandeur. Delusions associated with mania frequently center around an expansive sense of self that goes well beyond narcissism, eg, believing oneself to have special (eg, supernatural) powers or to be the chosen leader of the world or universe.
Delusions of grandeur are part of mania and bipolar disorder I, not bipolar disorder type II (hypomania). (Delusions themselves can be part of other disorders as well.)
Different Types of Mania in Bipolar Disorder Type I
There has been an attempt made by researchers at Duke University to divide mania in bipolar disorder into five categories (using a sample of 327 inpatients with bipolar disorder):
- Pure type 1: (20.5%) – similar to hypomania, no aggression or paranoia, low irritability
- Pure type 2 (24.5%) – severe mania including grandiosity and psychosis
- Group 3 (18%) – psychosis, paranoia, delusional grandiosity and delusional lack of insight, lower levels of psychomotor and hedonic activation
- Group 4 (21.4%) – high dysphoria, low psychomotor and hedonic activation
- Group 5 (15.6%) – mixture of others; dysphoria, euphoria
Mania-Related Definitions
- Dysphoria: emotional state marked by anxiety, depression and restlessness
- Grandeur: affectation of personal greatness or splendor or by absurd exaggeration
- Hedonic (hedonia, hedonist): pleasure seeking above all else
Delusions of Grandeur Common in Bipolar I Mania
In short, delusions of grandeur are pretty common in type I bipolar disorder mania. (According to the above, almost 45% of bipolars in a manic episode experience it to some degree.)
You’re not weird or a freak at all. You’re not alone in your delusions of grandeur. Delusions of grandeur are just another thing about bipolar disorder that people don’t want to talk about.
Real Life Stories of Delusions of Grandeur in Bipolar Disorder
Hanna’s personal experience of delusions of grandeur is a really great example:
As the week progressed and my mania increased everything started coming in brilliant detail. As I drove past fields of grass no longer could I see the wind blowing across a field, but instead as I looked out I saw millions of individual blades of grass blowing. It was like a clarity I have never seen. Everything was in super sharp focus. It was like a whole new world, and it was beautiful. But as it progressed the more I saw in detail the more I felt “one” with nature, to the point where I thought that I could BE one with the wind.
One afternoon driving home from work I thought that I was so in tune to the nature around me I could drive with my eyes closed. I rolled down my window and extended my arm out as far as I could, each finger spread out wide. I gently at first started letting the wind guide my arm up and down, then at the precise moment I felt it “carry” me I closed my eyes and let the wind guide me down the interstate. This abruptly ended when I hit the side of the road. I was so torn between some part of my mind telling me I was crazy and the utter disappointment I felt with the wind for not guiding me and keeping me on the road.
I ended up in the hospital the next week.
From another person with bipolar disorder (kept anonymous for privacy reasons):
I thought I was the incarnation of Bast, Egyptian cat goddess, and I could talk to every kitty in the universe. Most people when they get in that state think they are Jesus. I was brought up Jewish and I am a cat person, so I guess I thought of Bast. It got bad when the cat was talking to me and I could swear I could hear the kitty in the apartment across from me talking to me.
Manic Delusions of Grandeur Examples
Both of the above are from great people. Just like you. Trust me; you’re not alone in this.
Rebecca newton - March 6, 2013 ←
Just thought ID share my story. They haven’t diagnosed me yet. I was 18 years old and recently going through a lot of stress, mom has new bf, cheated on step dad basically, failed school, got caught up in conspiracies and started believing in love and life and peace you know.. So one night i stayed up till five am writing pages of epiphanies, just what i learnt in so little time about humanity.. It kinda blew my mind. Regardless i started believing i was jesus and ended up in a mental home.. Started feeling like everyone was out to get me because they were tAlking behind my back.. Of course talking about the appropriate steps to take with me but i saw it as “okay we grew up catholic.. Shes obviously possessed.. Lets perform an exorcism or burn her alive” … These thoughts really crossed my mind although never EVER in my life has my mother ever made me believe she would want to hurt me shes my mother and protector and thats how i know i wasn’t right in my mind. My reality was off and i didn’t know why or how? Was it the stress? Or the weed i smoked a few days before? Or do i have a mental illness? Or all three? Did they trigger each other? Who knows.. All i know is those psychiatric drugs did absolutely nothing for me. I feel the same on and off of them. I took lexapro for a few months until she realized i wasn’t depressed just maybe crazy? But i took abilify along with it. And benadryl at night because i had nightmares and refused to fall asleep. I had nightmares of a very evil nature.. Things that even thinking about still haunts me they’re so scary. Been off drugs now.. Natural healing. Meditation.. Anyway. Goodluck to you and me. As the one who said we are all eachother… I kinda believe that in a spiritual connected kinda way :)
Sarah Strong - March 3, 2013 ←
My close relative married a man who is delusional – he thinks he is God and she believes she is Heavenly Mother. She has shared Psychotic Disorder. They are both litigious, have a new weird religion and try to sue everyone, even everyone in his family and ours. What suggestions do you have. We have no contact with them as they are too scary and evil.
Natasha Tracy - March 3, 2013 ←
Hi Sarah,
I’m not sure what it is you’re asking for suggestions for. Could you elaborate please?
- Natasha Tracy
Sarah - March 4, 2013 ←
I am not sure what answers you are looking for either. It seems as though you are troubled by their behaviour and don’t understand it and therefore shut yourselves off entirely. If you need information on the disorder start by typing it into google and reading as much as you can, but be aware that a lot of this information will be wrong or biased. Then you will be able to formulate some questions to ask knowledgeable people. Be careful who you ask because people who don’t have much understanding often have very strong opinions.
naomi - January 14, 2013 ←
I though I became a psychic and kept on telling my husband that i dreamt of things before they happened . When I told my doctor she increased my dose of trileptol , she said that I was not sleeping deep enough.
connie ricke - December 30, 2012 ←
Once I thought I was the only one left in the world every. One else died of. Aides. It scared me so much
JulieC - October 15, 2012 ←
Okay, “Google me” is probably being assholish of me, but I haven’t grown beyond that baggage yet. Maybe I can figure out how this year.
Natasha Tracy - October 15, 2012 ←
Oh, and I don’t know why you think “Google Me” is assholish. Seems like a reasonable way to clear up confusion to me. People Google me to see who I am all the time.
- Natasha Tracy
Berj Yepremian Jr - October 30, 2012 ←
haha I always say Google me, but I tell local idiots to Google my last name. I’m 100% Armenian and have family who played in the NFL. I’m expected to follow the same footsteps as them but who knows what Bipolar assholish athletes will actually do
JulieC - October 15, 2012 ←
It’s very awkward, because I’m a published author, and my first novel (co-authored) was with a New York publisher and did hit the NYT best-seller list for hardcover fiction. I’ve got 3 out. When I told my ex’s therapist what were, at the time, rational projections for what I planned to write, what I planned to submit to my publisher, and when—she said I was clearly grandiose and in the middle of a manic episode.
Now I relapsed and *didn’t* get that done. But for my peers at my publisher it was about garden-variety for expectations if I hadn’t gotten sick (stress of the divorce).
And…when I go in to see a new doctor and say what my accomplishments are? I hand them my card. “Yes, I know, I have a major mental illness. It’s a big accomplishment. Go ahead and Google me later. That way you *know* I’m not just being grandiose and manic, mkay?”
But really, once you achieve something significant…how the hell do you know when you’re being grandiose and when you’re not? I mean, maybe you are, maybe you’re not. Maybe you can, maybe you can’t.
What I tell the doctors lately is, “If you can get the depression off my back and help me get stabilized, I’m capable of a lot of things. I don’t know which of them I’ll choose–not in a great state to make major life decisions right now. And, again, it all depends on getting me *stable*. If I’m not stable, I’m disabled–I can’t manage a whole lot more than self care and fending off basic disaster. If I’m stable, I’m capable of a lot. So let’s go for that and then see where we are from there.”
And, after all, you have to feel sorry for the poor lady who thinks she’s the cat goddess and all the cats are telling her the secrets of the world. Everybody knows they’re telling them all to me. (Just kidding!!!)
Seriously, many of us are very talented people. Sometimes our estimates of what we can do can be mistaken for grandiose when it’s a pretty rational evaluation of what we can do if we can get our disorder stabilized. Sometimes our estimates are only a fairly *mild* over-estimation that amounts to whistling in the dark out of fear.
When we help out bipolar friends and family members who are going through therapy, we need to watch for well-meaning therapists who can undermine the confidence of our extraordinarily talented bipolar friends and family. Jenny might really be that fantastic an artist or Bobby might really be that brilliant a mathematician. When they think they’re “special” they may well be right.
It’s not at all infrequent that a therapist or pdoc that doesn’t have the brilliance or artistic sensitivity to know better can stomp on somebody’s dreams, trying to protect them from “grandiose delusions,” when the kid really is that good.
So watch for grandiose delusions, yes.
But also watch for the ***Mundane Delusions*** of therapists who miss a talented patient.
(Me, I’ve got spine in spades, I can take care of myself. But a lot of people don’t and can’t. I had a foster daughter, briefly, who had to have me and her bio mom sit on her therapist and tell her therapist that the kid really was that talented an artist.–she was and is.)
Natasha Tracy - October 15, 2012 ←
Hi JulieC,
Well, speaking as one who has a bit of talent herself, yes, sometimes we look like we’re being a touch grandiose but really, we’re just _being_.
Anywho.
That is so abnormal that I think it hardly even needs mentioning for two reasons:
1. Most grandiosity is much easier to spot (a la I Am God) by a trained professional
2. When a relationship develops between a patient and doctor a doctor knows that your everyday, reasonableness looks like and what is out of the ordinary for you.
So most people don’t ever run into the issue.
- Natasha Tracy
Twiddle - October 15, 2012 ←
I have never experienced delusions of grandeur. In a manic state I have however believed I could accomplish things that are difficult, easily. For example I was going to become a writer, published of course because I was so talented. I have noticed that when I do have breakdowns, each succeeding one is worse than the previous. The high, higher…the low, lower. I’m more irritable and aggressive. I can only hope this is a very gradual process because I have read bipolar disorder worsens with time.
Concerned Mother - September 30, 2012 ←
A special thanks goes out to each of you that responded about my son. We did not try letting him test his theory. We did talk to him about it and by doing so, he opened up to us and told us he had already tried it over the summer while he was at his grandparents visiting. He said he was swimming and he tried to breathe under water but it wouldn’t let him. So I asked him why he still thought he would be able to breathe under water. He replied “because I am pretty sure I’ve done it before”. I asked him to come tell me or his daddy if he ever felt like he wanted to try anything like that again. I assured him that he wouldn’t be in trouble but that I didn’t want him to be alone. He said ” I know, you want to make sure I don’t die”. THAT FRIGHTENED ME. He is 8 and he is not stupid by any means. I never would have thought he would try something if he knew that there is a possibility it could kill him. I am going to take him back to his pediatrician first thing in the morning and get a referral to a pediatric psychiatrist. We will go from there. Again, thank you to each one of you for
your time, thoughts, and opinions. We appreciate all
of you. God Bless!
Concerned Mother - September 26, 2012 ←
Your site has been very informative and has helped me understand what life is like in my sons eyes. My son is 8. He believes he has super powers that will allow him to be able to breathe under water. I spoke to his psychologist about it, he suggested that we let him test his theory in a controlled environment with my husband and myself present to ensure his safety so that he don’t seriously injure himself by trying it on his own. I understand what the doctor is saying and why but this is all new to my husband & I and we really don’t just really don’t know what to do. If you or anybody that has more experience with this has any suggestions or opinions they would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and God Bless!
Natasha Tracy - September 28, 2012 ←
Hi Concerned Mother,
Let me start off by saying that I’m not a doctor nor a psychologist.
However, my opinion is, that is one nutty idea. I don’t think you should let a child try to “breathe water.” That sounds like an unbelievably traumatic event waiting to happen. If you child has a mental illness and is experiencing psychosis (delusions or hallucinations) you need the help of someone who specializes in that.
I’m not saying your child has a mental illness, only a doctor can tell you that, but there is a resource I know of that talks about psychosis – early warning signs, and dealing with it. Please, please look at these resources, they are of a quality that can help.
http://www.bcss.org/category/resources/topics-by-audience/family-friends/
I would say get a second opinion, for sure, before trying something like that with your son.
But that’s just my opinion.
- Natasha Tracy
British Bob - September 28, 2012 ←
It sounds to me that the therapist is trying to cure the child’s delusion by putting the child in a situation where he can test it and then come to his own realization.
This way the child is being lead by his parents that he does not have these super powers instead of simply dismissing him or risking him testing it out on his own, in a uncontrolled environment, without supervision.
The above paragraph Isn’t an attempt to sway option in anyway. The only suggestion I would make is to ask for a clear description on what the controlled environment means and a clear outline of the risks.
KG - September 28, 2012 ←
Hi Concerned Mom,
I am not a licensed mental health practitioner, I’m a Bipolar mom with a Bipolar son. He’s 19 now but had a psychotic break a few months before high school graduation (at his high school, which ended in suspension–good times!) and was always an anxious child. We’ve been running the therapy gamut with him since he was five, when we placed him with someone following our divorce.
I understand what your son’s psychologist is suggesting–sounds like he wants to try shattering the illusion. However, allowing your child to try to drown himself seems like A Very Bad Idea and may set a poor precedent of “testing” theories when he’s older and outside a safe environment. It also doesn’t sound like you’re comfortable with this idea, and that he’s asking =you= to execute this plan on your time makes my Mom Spidey Senses tingle. I second getting a second opinion.
Good luck with your boy!
KG
Lisa Graas (@CatholicLisa) - September 28, 2012 ←
Hi, concerned mother.
Natasha is right to point out that it’s a traumatic moment waiting to happen. What is meant by “controlled environment” in the context of your child breathing water? That’s handing over your child completely to trauma. This is a question better answered by someone with more training in parenting than in psychiatry. Children need to be able to trust their parents. That applies regardless of whether the child has a mental disorder, but particularly children with mental issues need to have the extra security of trustworthy parents. We cannot always protect our children from harm and so we need to help them to develop the skills to avoid danger when we are not around to protect them. One of those skills is knowing who to trust to tell you the truth about danger when you are not exactly sure about what is dangerous and what is not dangerous. As a parent and someone with Bipolar Disorder who has been suicidal at times, I have to say that it is critical for someone who might be suicidal and delusional to know that they can trust someone to tell them the truth about such things. When a parent has the opportunity to keep a child from danger, and he/she throws his/her hands up and gives in, that damages the trust the child has in the parent. Yes, things are dangerous and we cannot always be there to protect them, but we can teach them that without throwing our hands up and letting them walk into danger. It will be traumatic, and once the child realizes you let him/her walk into a traumatic situation without doing everything possible to prevent it, the trust is gone. I hope this helps. Thanks, Natasha, for all you do. God bless you all.
Paul Winkler - October 1, 2012 ←
Hi Concerned Mother.
I agree with Natasha wholeheartedly. This is a crackpot notion, which I have no hesitation in saying despite the fact that it comes from a “professional” and I am a lay person. However, I have been psychotic, which I’ll bet that pro has not. When I have had crazy notions about superpowers, the one single thing holding me in check (somewhat) was the fact that no one would believe me or agree with my concepts. Being aware of this kept me from broadcasting my beliefs far and wide. Had I received encouragement, I may well have done more dangerous things than I actually did. Drowning is a very risky activity – the blood picks up water from the lungs and is diluted to the point where the heart and other organs are no longer able to extract oxygen from the haemoglobin. This often leads to death, regardless of whether or not artificial respiration is applied afterward. I am glad to hear your 8-year-old son is brighter than his doctor, and knows the real score. But if he is in psychosis, it needs to be treated ASAP (and the treatment is simple and quick). If he is manic with grandiose thoughts, that too needs treatment. I don’t know how fast that might be – my manias have been fairly short-lived.
I wish you both the very best in your search for good care.
Paul Winkler - October 2, 2012 ←
A bit of info on the importance of quick intervention in psychosis: http://tinyurl.com/87zl25t
JulieC - October 4, 2012 ←
Hi Concerned Mom,
I not only have bipolar, I was early onset (suicidal at 5 yrs–do I get a merit badge?) and am the parent of a bipolar child (onset at 7yrs, teenage now). I don’t think my child would have been diagnosed bipolar and manic if it weren’t for the very heavy family history of bipolar disorder on both sides.
It’s very difficult to tell pediatric mania apart from ADHD–the thing to remember is if you have the genes for bipolar, you had ‘em from the get-go. There are a couple of tell-tale differences between ADHD and mania, but it wasn’t just that we were focused on somehow “winning a prize” if our kid was diagnosed bipolar. Mania, untreated, can do damage to the developing brain. The damage is somewhat fixable–somewhat–because the brain is still developing and growing and changing.
But the BIG, BIG, BIG thing if your child does turn out to be pediatric bipolar is you do not want to allow mania and you do not want to allow it to go untreated. The other thing is it can be really good to use all those things that are supposed to stimulate brain development (like classical music, etc.), because when your child loses some ground, you want to make it back up as well as you can.
These people are wonderful, they were my lifeline when my daughter was little:
http://www.thebalancedmind.org/
This book should be your bible for coping:
http://bipolarchild.com/
I took a special ed advocacy class from this woman:
http://starfishadvocacy.org/files/Onlineclasses.pdf
It was the best six weeks and however much money I ever spent. My daughter was about the same age your son is now. As a result of my working really hard learning about special ed advocacy and following through trying to get the best services for my daughter, combined with her hard work and dedication to school, she’s gotten better outcomes than kids with much less onerous disabilities than hers.
A whole lot of it is that we stayed right on top of her disability and kept really good communication with her pdoc and therapist. We kept track of her moods and what was going on at school and we didn’t let problems just sit and fester. Etc.
And to some degree, we were lucky.
But some of luck is staying right the hell on top of the problems, and some of luck is being very flexible about adapting parenting to reality and picking your battles wisely. But some of luck is pure, dumb luck.
Confused - September 11, 2012 ←
Hi I am very confused I have been with someone for 10 years and just the last 7 months they have become delusional and make no sense. I can not tell them they need help because they think I am out to get them. I have never heard such strange things. Its like looking at a stranger. They have no sense of reality it is very scary. Does it go away on its own? It must be scary for him to think everyone is out to get him and that he has to save everyone I just am not sure how to help? thanks
Natasha Tracy - September 11, 2012 ←
Hi Confused,
You’re in a tough spot and it’s completely understandable that you would feel confused and not know what to do. People generally don’t understand psychosis (which is delusions and hallucinations) and don’t know what to do about it.
There is lots of quality information on this topic though here: http://www.bcss.org/category/resources/topics-by-audience/family-friends/
They have articles specifically on psychosis and how to handle it. You are not alone. He may or may not have schizophrenia, but no matter what, there is help out there for both of you.
I hope that helps.
- Natasha Tracy
Confused - September 11, 2012 ←
How can you try to help someone though if they cant and wont accept something is wrong? He has already wrecked his personal life and not sure about work. Does this sort of delusional thinking go away on its own?
Natasha Tracy - September 11, 2012 ←
Hi Confused,
What you’re talking about is called “anosognosia” which is a the medical state in which the illness itself makes the person believe they are not sick. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon in psychotic disorders.
I am not a doctor, but I would suggest that if it has been going on for 7 months, it is unlikely to resolve without treatment.
Again, I encourage you to go to that link and read the information there for families because they talk about how to handle a psychotic person who thinks “people are out to get them.” Your best move at this point is to educate yourself about psychosis so you can better understand what is going on.
- Natasha Tracy
Brian Hawk - September 9, 2012 ←
” I have what some would call ‘delusions of grandeur’, but to me it feels like an expectation of grandeur. There’s an underlying feeling that I was put here for an undeniable mark on history, as if it’s destined. It’s not that I walk around as such; it’s an internal recognition of my abilities, which are awe inspiring to me. Can you be your own hero?”
Thomas Slavin - August 13, 2012 ←
Over the last 17 years, I’ve been entertained by a host of hyper-religious and even demonic delusions. For my debut in 1994, I became the 2nd-in-command for the Holy Spirit; a Messenger. I read from my Bible to some patients at the Medical Center. To my credit, the passages I randomly selected brought them comfort in times of crisis. The 2003 episode was entirely about fear, that I was beset by evil forces. 2006 brought depersonalized violence in a rolling blackout, time in the Secure Unit, fit to be tied as I played nose tackle with mental health workers. Only dozens of ECT’s brought me back to Mr. Nice Guy. 2008 launched a laughing jag while I cooked hot Italian Sausages. Tears streaming down my face, my friends were freaked, and called the bus. The cops showed up, and I introduced myself as “Jesus Christ”….a sure way to get to the bughouse when you have just enough insight to know one is desperate need of observation. Two weeks after admission, my condition deteriorated to Catatonia and I was run through an EEG; the tech was surprised I was in Status Elepticus, and immediately shipped me to Neuro ICU. Medical complications ensued; I was put on life support and nearly croaked. It was as if my mind was trying to kill my body.
2011 cut to the chase; I started out with a massive grand mall (imagine waking up on the floor with carpet burn to the face; they sent a bus. A week in Neuro again, it took the entire time to break the Status Grand Mal. A week in Medicine to overhaul my electrolytes, all this in Neurogenic blackout, unresponsive. The Nurses called me Alien because my lower abdomen was pulsating, not the usual muskulo-skeltal activity usual seen in Grand Mal. I was so weak I needed a crane to be lifted out of bed, but eventually back on my feet, going to PT. I know now that my Sacral Chakra was struggling to balance, to clear blockages to my higher energies. Eventually able to conduct myself “appropriately” and do self-care, but had one “Spirit Dance” left to enjoy. After that realize of Heart energy, I was balanced again, and discharged four days later. My Dad had died. It was time to step up to the plate, and write his Eulogy.
Pat Pezz - August 7, 2012 ←
Hi everyone,
I truely think that all of these so called “doctors” and “professionals” are simply raised up in a system of belief based on scientific fact and biases, where they don’t even consider the fact that we are all connected to everything. All matter is composed of the same thing, energy, including you and I. And physicists are now beginning to tie together the super small and the extremely large (atoms vs. universe). Of course this is all just theory as of now, so doctors are not able to discuss that which has no evidential backing. However, scientists remain optimistic that they can provide substantial evidence that we are all connected. So those of you who feel you can control your own universe, and others can too, might not be wrong. It seems more and more people are beginning to feel this way, especially since books like “The Secret” have been hitting shelves telling us we are all gods. New Age Idealism is promoted and then we are medicated when we accept it as truth. How is that rational? It is not. Doctors have been indoctrinated by the core belief system of the powers that be, i.e. keep the public unaware of how powerful they are, so that those in power can remain there. In fact, there may be an infinite number of universes for each of us with unlimited possiblilites and potential. It is determined by what state of mind we are in, and what energy we are emittiing to the universe that determines what universe we will live in. The future is not written in stone it is created through will and concentration. The light bulb was created by someone society deemed “insane” and a “workaholic.” Throughout history, the most creative and intense genius’s were deemed crazy and antisocial. So those of you who believe you have a problem, don’t believe the “professionals,” the sheep who mimic each other. You ARE special, and you have the will to create and be anyone you wish. Those in power are scared of this, that we are awakening to our true potential as godly beings. Do not let them control you with medication, let the free will and creativity flow out into the world to induce positive change onto your own existence and universe! You are unique and special in every which way possible, and if you believe you can achieve something great, do not let people tell you you are crazy for thinkin so. Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Da Vinci, Einstein, were all “narcissistic” people with “delusions of grandeur,” who happened to extend their grand ideas into the world we live in, and now we all take for granted. We are entering an age of englightenment, and that freightens many people who hold the wealth and power , i.e. the status quo.
BE WHO YOU ARE, AND BE PROUD OF IT!
Patrick
Brian Hawk - September 9, 2012 ←
Agreed!
Roxanne Brown - September 28, 2012 ←
“I truely think that all of these so called “doctors” and “professionals” are simply raised up in a system of belief based on scientific fact and biases, where they don’t even consider the fact that we are all connected to everything.”
Wait… What? You can have your own opinions, but not your own facts.
Scientific fact by its very nature is unbiased; and it’s certainly not a “fact” that “we are all connected to everything” in some spiritual/supernatural/interdimensional fashion. I’ll be generous and say it’s at best a hypothesis, if not mere opinion based on wishful and magical thinking.
The claims of “The Secret” and “New Age Idealism” have absolutely no basis in fact and are bereft of anything even resembling evidence. A collection of anecdotes and a repackaging of Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking”, a 60 year old book, is certainly not evidence and supports nothing (other than the fattened pockets of its authors).
I apologize for being contentious, Natasha, but when I see people saying that woo-meisters are smarter/better than *scientists* at treating *any* illness, and especially mental illness, I’ve got to weigh in. It seems counterintuitive if not downright dangerous to recommend what are effectively delusions as a method of helping someone suffering from delusions. It seems to me it’s just swapping one set for another.
Take your meds, people!
Summer - May 14, 2012 ←
My boyfriend of 4the years is highly delusional. He believes i am his queen and he is king…or the superior being. He says he deserves more than one wife and treated as kings were back in the day. ….his mood swings are constant and blames all arguments on me. I have tried telling him his thoughts are not real and even read other peoples stories of there delusions and he says he knows he. is the ‘one’ and they just wanted to be like him.
He thinks the whole universe is his and he created.
it and everything else. He talks about past lives.
.and how he is in everything….it gets very frustrating cops have been involved and hes even been to the hospital and so far even on his meds hes gotten worse..i need professional advise
Summer - May 14, 2012 ←
His symtoms started after christmas 2011. He gets mad at the smallest thing i say…i just dont know what to do i want to help him i just dont know how
Natasha Tracy - May 14, 2012 ←
Hi Summer,
I’m sorry to hear about your boyfriend. Delusions can be extremely difficult to deal with and it’s common for people to be angry when you try to suggest that their delusions aren’t real.
I highly recommend you contact a schizophrenia support group. This one is local to my area and we have them throughout Canada, I suspect you could find them in your area (sorry, don’t know where that is) too. Specifically, the online support information here is invaluable: http://www.bcss.org/category/resources/topics-by-audience/family-friends/
Here are their fact sheets on psychosis: http://www.bcss.org/category/resources/about-mental-illness/psychosis/ (delusions are part of psychosis).
Please check out their information, I think it may be able to help you.
- Natasha Tracy
Somalunamuerte - April 1, 2012 ←
I don’t understand any of this. I was diagnosed with Manic Depression/Bipolar Disorder I @ 14 years old. I went through a lot of hell becuase of my “behavior” as they called it. It took getting in severe trouble with the law (in a manic state allegedly) at the age of 27, before anyone would help me. Or maybe they tried before I don’t know, I don’t think so but either way I’m sure I never got the help I needed.
Then several years later, I find that I’m still in the same boat, only now there are several holes in my boat and I’m probably really close to drowning. My therapist and my psychiatrist do not agree on anything and both call each other idiots, because she believes that I have PTSD and he believes that I’m bipolar and he states that the evidence of my psychiactric hospitalizations, suicide attempts, several other diagnosis of bipolar I by several different psychiatrists, as well as my arrests prove his diagnosis. This is the first I’ve ever heard anyone mention PTSD in regards to myself, and the thing is despite whatever I tell her, she always finds an excuse for my behavior. “Well you’re just stressed out today” or “those rapid thoughts are just you’re way of dealing with the stress” blah blah blah. I like her, but I don’t know if she’s helping me or harming me. I don’t know if either one even cares about me as a person or maybe I’m just they’re toy, like when cats play with toys they just bat them around. I kind of feel like I’m a cat toy.
I don’t know what I am, I only know that I need help and I identify with nothing and everything all at once. I don’t want to be either. I fucking hate feeling this way, but also I love it because I am capable of everything; which is great and sometimes not so great, so its really confusing to say the least. Even the so called medical professionals can’t agree on what I am, like I’m not a person just another case study. That’s what I feel like. A human specimen to be studied who lost all sense of humanity and normalcy whatever the hell that is. I’m all over the place and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never stayed with a medication long enough to see whether or not it would help me, except for the times I was hospitalized, and they seemed to, but maybe I was just dreaming they did, maybe I’m something else all together. I think that I’m probably a special case. I don’t think I am like anyone else and probably more doctors need to study me to help other people. Because I think that probably the answer is in me, and I was created for this purpose. Maybe I am the answer.
That’s what I need to do. I need to help everybody else. Give my life for the sake of humanity. what if I’m the cure? There is definitely something about me that’s amazing. I know I can change the world, and that’s why they fight, because they know it too. Damn doctors know that I’m the answer, and they want to claim me. What if that’s what’s happening? Wow. I think maybe I might be on to something. Is this what it they mean by awake? Am I finally awake? Everything is clear to me now. Thank you.
Natasha Tracy - April 2, 2012 ←
Hi Somalunamuerte,
It’s sounds like you’ve been in some really tough spots and you’re in one right now. But you’re not alone. Many people have stories like yours. It often takes years for a correct diagnosis and treatment of a mental illness like bipolar disorder.
I’m sorry your treatment team can’t agree on what you diagnosis is. That’s tough. But what matters is the treatment. What is helping you? If the medications helped when you were in the hospital, why aren’t you on them now?
If you don’t feel like the people treating you are meshing well with you or what you need, it might be time to find someone else or simply be more directive about your treatment, if you can.
You are _not_ a case study, you are a person. We’re all complex creatures and sometimes it takes time to work those complexities out and sometimes it takes the right person to see in us what we have and what we need. Don’t give up. There are people who can help you and there are people just like you out there in the world. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but there are. I talk to them every day.
You don’t have to give your life for the sake of humanity – you can _live_ your life. Really.
I have felt beyond help myself sometimes, but I’m not and neither are you.
- Natasha Tracy
Brandon - March 1, 2012 ←
I definitely understand a lot of peoples concerns. As a kid growing up with bi polar… I had grandeur of being superman and crazy strength. As an adult I focused these thoughts and started a business based around programming games/ 3rd party applications for smart phones. I concentrated these thoughts into a useful manner. Johnny Depp has been known to do the same thing for his acting career. We as bi polar are special and should use it for our strengths. Being successful is one thing but being a successful bi polar… That has definitely given me hope.
Natasha Tracy - March 2, 2012 ←
Hi Brandon,
Channelling bipolar symptoms into something positive is the best way of handling the illness is possible. Such channelling isn’t always an option, but when it is, it can really work.
I’m glad you’re being successful and bipolar. You’re an inspiration to everyone still reaching to get there.
- Natasha Tracy
Lisa F - January 25, 2012 ←
I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when I was 40. I really appreciate this article because there are not many ‘specifics’ about delusional experiences. I have had several episodes beginning in my late 20′s. The episodes have always been triggered by stressful events: traveling to Europe/lack of sleep, birth of child, loss of mother, and intense stress of job requirements. It’s odd because in the interim of episodes, I am really high functioning- I have a graduate degree- work two jobs, handle things pretty well.
My delusions usually center around some ‘puzzle’ or ‘riddle’ or ‘test’, that I ultimately feel I cannot pass. I have noticed that the experiences have become increasingly terrifying. When my mother was dying and I was on my way to say goodbye- I became delusional, and felt like I was lost in a forest. I felt trapped, like there was no way out- and with no one to trust for direction. I literally was driving through the Olympic Forest, and felt like my only option of escape was to turn my car toward the woods and step on the gas pedal. I survived, but totaled the rental car. Plus, I wound up spending 2 weeks in a mental facility and missed my mother’s funeral.
I have ‘been’ Christ, Mary, the Devil, and have done some things I’m embarrassed of. On the other hand, it’s very insightful to experience mental illness, personally. It makes you realize the true vulnerability of what we call our ‘self’.
I guess I wonder if there is some meaning contained within the delusions, perhaps on some symbolic level. I think it would be really interesting if there were some kind of group where people who have experienced similar things (delusions/psychosis) could talk/share, and see if there are connections between their delusions and their histories.
Natasha Tracy - January 26, 2012 ←
Hi Lisa,
I agree, there aren’t many specific accounts of delusional experiences which is why I wanted to write this article. More delusional experiences might be outlined in schizophrenic writings, however.
Yes, typically stress does precipitate the worst episodes, and it sounds like in your case, delusional ones. It’s good that you’ve identified stress as a trigger as it can help you deal with it in the future.
It sounds like (from the small amount you have shared) you have a pretty classic case of bipolar I. And in that disorder people are often very high-functioning between episodes. You’re lucky (?) that way. People with bipolar II often don’t experience this.
I’m sorry your delusions got so bad you took such severe action. I can only imagine how scary that was for you. All I can suggest is to try to catch the delusional thinking early enough that you can avoid getting into a full-blown state, if that’s possible.
“it’s very insightful to experience mental illness, personally. It makes you realize the true vulnerability of what we call our ‘self’.”
I agree. I’ve not been psychotic, personally, but I’ve been different enough to know this is true.
I don’t have a suggestion for a group where people share information about delusions, specifically, but again, maybe a group more centred towards schizophrenia?
- Natasha Tracy
James McLaughlin - February 21, 2012 ←
I too was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder after experience a week long manic episode. i was 18 then and am now 22, but I thought i was special lol now i see everybody else with this disorder had similar experiences. I too saw seemingly infinite beauty, clarity, and unlikely coincidences, tied with strong emotions of fear, excitement, and perpetual bliss. I was sure evrything around me was a direct yet symbolic message from the divine creator we call “God”. However i had virtually no feelings of irritability or aggression whatsoever, although throughout the 5 days I slept no more than an hour or 2 a night because of fear that i may not wake. Through this entire experience not even my immediate family detected this change in me until the end of the week when i became increasingly delusional and ended up hospitalised for a week, and then unfortunately doctors brought me back down to earth.
Natasha Tracy - February 21, 2012 ←
Hi James,
Oh, don’t worry, you’re special, it’s just that you’re special like us :)
Thanks for sharing your story.
- Natasha Tracy
Dave - December 31, 2011 ←
How long can you be delusional for? How long can you string along a consistent theory/story you see unfolding over weeks? (in my case in the workplace) .A interactions of people at work, actually seeing people in groups and overhearing their conversations, some days things happen other days nothing. Then a cause and effect with me saying something about what I think is going on in the workplace and suddenly you notice a behaviour change in people around you, as I think they have been made aware I now know. Can the brain make such a thing, a delusion, stretch all this stuff out over weeks?
Jeff - December 23, 2011 ←
This is a great post with very real comments. I’ve had delusions of grandeur quite similar to a couple of the folks commenting. I thought I was on a special mission from God to prepare for the battle of Armeggedon when Christ returned. I was supposed to setup a secret fort somewhere, get a tank and a fighter plane, and wait. Bizarre it was. I eventually got hauled off to the hospital and that was the end (mostly) of that. I still have fond memories of that escapade however.
Although nobody got hurt, my poor friends and relatives must of been really frustrated. They new I was manic and delusional but were helpless to stop it. I enjoyed it completely. If only there was a safe way to experience delusions.
Jeff
Karen - December 13, 2011 ←
I’m almost 42. I just recently learned I have delusional manic attacks and that I likely had some kind of psychotic break about three years ago. I underwent a series of huge stresses and cracked under the pressure, and then people I loved passed away for the first time. I was seeing stars for a while and did not realize I was drifting through a dream world.
this year, I made a decision to take a year off of life and moved to a new city. with all the previous life stresses gone, though I was still receiving message from the space bunnies, I was able to function and deal with people really well. then some hard life events came up, and suddenly a switch flipped on my personality again and I got grandiose and messianic. because I’d simplified my life so much, I observed the mania rise up, felt the intensity, but didn’t understand what was going on. however, my life was quiet enough I could pay attention. I found myself debating whether or not the Universe wanted me to use a play I’d never read to “save” an organization, and after watching that dialog in my head, I realized, “holy crap. this isn’t real. I’m making this up.”
then I saw the pattern. my former husband and I both previously agreed that I changed dramatically at a certain point in time, and looking back, that’s when the stress became too much.
I was scared at first when I realized what happened to my mind, because I’ve tried to get help in the past but couldn’t recognize I was delusional. I told therapists that my response to stress was off, I possibly had ptsd, and that I was unable, try as I could, to move forward in life from certain events. instead of helping me dial down my stress reaction, I was stressed out more when told that I just needed to get out of my own way and move on. I was lectured angrily about my attitude week after week from someone who refused to switch strategies when her approach failed to resonate with me.
my new found understanding of my mental condition then gave me a sense of relief. manic episodes explained the extremely risky behavior I engaged in, including moving alone to a whole new city, when I was in the zone. I’d never been in trouble of any kind with the law, but the first thing I did when I cracked was threaten someone with blackmail. I thought “this is not who I am” but felt powerless to stop until I knew what was really happening in my head.
now that I know what the deal is, I have made a concerted effort to relax myself down to a more functional state, and found a therapist who actually believes me and is willing to work with me. despite the ways in which I’ve got myself in trouble over the last few years, I’m feeling optimistic about my ability to learn to modulate my stress responses and create a life that doesn’t challenge me emotionally every minute of the day.
I began coming out to my friends. not to ask for their pity or to get a free pass for everything I’ve done, but to let them know that I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, that I discovered I have a real problem, and that I am working out solutions. so far, so good. but I’ve been blasted and accused of being a lying, self-absorbed narcissist attention whore with this news. who on earth would tell people she had a psychotic break just for the attention?
any comments or advice on dealing with people who would rather believe that you’re just a selfish jerk trying to evade personal responsibility than that you’ve short-circuited and have some healing to do?
Natasha Tracy - December 13, 2011 ←
Hi Karen,
Wow. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. Congratulations on seeing your own patterns and on getting help that works for you. That’s a huge achievement and you should be proud of yourself for that.
As for dealing with others, that is tricky. You have to understand it’s a learning process for them, just as it was for you. You didn’t reach this realization over night and they likely won’t either. Try to be gentle with them and encourage education about your disorder.
Also, understand that people who care about you would likely prefer not to believe that you’re sick. Believe it or not, it’s easier to believe that someone is a “jerk” than that they’re sick. If the person is sick we worry for them, with a jerk, we don’t have to. And who wants to believe someone we care about is ill? No one. It’s a scary thing to have to cope with.
So I think gentle persistence is key. They need time and information in order to adjust and hopefully they will lend their support when they’ve had a chance to wrap their mind around it.
Although keep in mind not everyone can and you’ll probably end up losing some people from your life. It’s not pleasant, but it’s one of the costs of the illness.
You will, however, retain the best of friends and those who will be with you no matter what.
- Natasha Tracy
Karen - December 13, 2011 ←
Natasha,
Thanks for your levity. I need to remember this is a big adjustment for everyone. I see a few gifts in store for me, though. Being delusional when I feel OK gives the world an extra sparkle, and is the source of a lot of great creative ideas (I’m a writer and graphic artist). Now that I know what I’m dealing with, I appreciate there are ways for me to soothe myself and positive places to funnel this energy. Plus, I know the friends I’ll have as I work through this will really care about the whole me. It’s scary and unknown, but ain’t all bad. =)
Karen
Natasha Tracy - December 14, 2011 ←
Karen,
It sounds to me like you have a great attitude and that will go a long way in dealing with illness. Good for you.
- Natasha Tracy
OscarM - April 27, 2011 ←
Here is the problem. Everyone has dreams, projects, self-esteem, believes..normal and bipolar as alike. But in what point does a dream becomes a delusion? When a selfish-great- ego is a grandiosity delusion? What about the first guy on NASA who mention “Yes, we can land on the Moon”. uh… and let’s talk about faith, religion and believes. Were all prophets delusional? Were Christ, Buddha or Mahoma?
The case is clear when I claim that I have wings and no one else can see it. But becomes weird when I a can see the solution of a math problem before I finish reading the question. The right solution on 80% of every math exam while I studied engineering. Yes, in this case, I have wings that no one else can see, but I can fly with them.
Where is the line between normal, delusional and genius or gifted?
OscarM - April 27, 2011 ←
Forgot to mention.
The article is great. There are serious risk in being delusional. You can get killed (crucified, for example).
I use a lot of “check points” or “reality checks” every day. Family and friends are good in this, and they can save lives.
Natasha Tracy - April 27, 2011 ←
Hi Oscar,
Agreed, the line is fuzzy, but not as much as you might think.
Delusions are the belief in something despite contrary evidence.
So, if you think you walk on water but every time you try you come back soaking wet still proclaiming that yes, you walk on water, then that’s a delusion.
Genius isn’t this. Genius may not be able to be _proven_ but it can’t be disproven either. Someone said they could walk on the moon. No doubt, others didn’t have that vision. But there were a million little steps between thinking it and actually doing it, all of which were possible, none of which disproved the idea.
Religion is a whole other thing. I choose not to comment on those matters.
I can’t comment on your math abilities, but if I gave you a test with only the first half of 100 questions and you scored 2% and still believed you knew the answers before reading the question, that would be delusional. If you got 80%, then it probably wouldn’t be. Either way, it’s irrelevant if its implications aren’t hurting anyone.
Yes, many delusions can be dangerous. “Delusions of grandeur” in particular are dangerous because inevitably, it makes you think you have supernatural powers that, not having them, will seriously hurt you or others. “Reality checks” are an excellent idea.
- Natasha Tracy.
Sheri - April 12, 2011 ←
Great article. Maasiyat does have a great point. When you’re in the middle of it, you don’t see that you need help.
Maasiyat - April 9, 2011 ←
Thank you so much for writing an article on this. There was no way I could have got help when I was in the middle of mine. What is most bizarre is a few individuals knew of my delusions and my believing I could see spirits and talk to dead people , read minds, tell the future, and oh i was helping to train an army that would fight alongside the savior when he returned at the end of time and they totally believed me. Even asked me to do “readings” for them. That only fueled my delusion more. These are not people with bipolar or any type of mental illness. Even at work I was becoming violent. I would lash out at co-workers to the point my boss took me aside one day and had a talk with me, but no one did anything to help me. I wasn’t in a position to help myself. This is why it is important for people with bipolar especially if they are having delusions to have a good support system and why medication and hospitalization should be forced. In that state, there is no way I could have given consent. I didn’t even know I needed help.
Natasha Tracy - April 10, 2011 ←
Hi Maasiyat,
You bring up a good point. The people around a person with a mental illness don’t necessarily _want_ to see the signs of illness. They make excuses for why you’re acting “weird.” It was mentioned in another comment that a family member just thought the delusional person was “drunk.” Which, of course, is ridiculous. It’s just an excuse people make up so they don’t have to see what’s really going on.
And as you’ve stated, that can fuel a delusion, which is a dangerous thing.
“This is why it is important for people with bipolar especially if they are having delusions to have a good support system and why medication and hospitalization should be forced. In that state, there is no way I could have given consent. I didn’t even know I needed help.”
Again, an excellent point. It’s really important for people who have felt this way (understanding they needed treatment without consent) say so. Because there is _no_shame_ in admitting this. It’s just saying your disease was out of control. Which any disease could be. People take loved ones to the hospital for treatment of many diseases when their loved ones can’t take themselves. This is the same, although admittedly, more difficult.
Thanks for your feedback, as always.
[Regarding more information, there are the two sources I linked to in the article and I also came across this one: http://chestofbooks.com/health/psychiatry/Manual/Delusional-Mania.html If you need more beyond those three links, perhaps you doctor can recommend a good resource for you.]
- Natasha Tracy
Marisa - November 4, 2011 ←
Wow. This is almost exactly what happened to me. I had no idea at the time that I was bipolar or manic or having psychosis, and people around me actually encouraged my beliefs so I didn’t understand it wasn’t ‘normal’. And yet my psychiatrist argued with me that because I haven’t been sectioned with mania in my life, I couldn’t be BP1. Not everyone around you is a mental health professional that can recognise the signs. It’s scary how many people must slip through the net.
Natasha Tracy - November 4, 2011 ←
Marisa,
It’s so sad that people would actually _feed_ delusions. I understand that they don’t know how destructive they’re being, but still, it just seems so, well, crazy. I suppose it’s that people don’t want to believe that you’re experiencing psychosis and by playing along it proves that you are “normal” and not sick. Even if it isn’t true it’s more convenient for others to believe.
- Natasha Tracy
Marisa - November 4, 2011 ←
Well I think what’s worse is that most people just don’t have the awareness to know what delusions are and how to spot them – I didn’t know I was depressed until I was 23, I didn’t know what bipolar was until later, and once I did things started making sense to me.
This is why campaigning and raising awareness is so crucial. It’s why I applaud the work you are doing here, and why when I get myself stable enough, I’m going to press for work in the mental health sector so I can bring my experience to the table.
Natasha Tracy - November 4, 2011 ←
Marisa,
You’re right, awareness and education is key. I sort of find it unfathomable that people wouldn’t be able to spot psychosis or depression, but that’s just because I’ve been ensconced in it for so long, for most people it just isn’t obvious. At least if people could just identify that _something_ was wrong they could get help. But most people are too afraid to even do that much. Unfortunately.
- Natasha Tracy
KrstiLynn Valdez - April 8, 2011 ←
Delusions of grandeur is a serious bipolar system that should be told to your doctor and therapist as soon as possible. These type of delusions can kill. During one of mine, I was an angel welcoming in the Second Coming. Convinced I could fly, I did a swam dive off a 2-story balcony crashing into the concrete floor 20 feet below. Luckily, I lived and learned a life lesson about delusions of grandeur.
Natasha Tracy - April 8, 2011 ←
Hi KristiLynn,
You are absolutely right. In Hanna’s experience, she very easily could have died from her actions resulting from delusions. And she’s not the only one. You often hear of people thinking they can fly, for example. Which I guess is OK, until you try to prove it from the roof of a building.
The unfortunate thing though is that most delusional people are too delusional to get help. It’s only after they’re picked up by the police or are hurt that they get help. It’s really hard to talk a deluded brain into doing anything.
But hopefully people outside the person’s brain can recognize it for what it is – a serious danger sign that needs attention.
- Natasha Tracy
Experience123 - March 25, 2012 ←
What if your bipolar one 20 years old diagnosed at16 think the worst of every situation and how I’m the strong one to save every situation when really I realize my heads trippin and I have no control untill it’s too late what if your afraid to harm urself or others to make yourself go to jail . Like reality makes it worse because learning about what u once wanted to learn about is alot uglier and you’d rather have it different. Job can’t seem to find /hold one. Ssi or Ssdi is all u have and medication appts you barely can afford to make . If your unorganized in every aspect shouldnt you be hospitalized because your unsafe to your family spending and the cycle owns you. The disease has control over me and I want it to go away I would never wish this on anyone.
Natasha Tracy - March 27, 2012 ←
Hi Experience123,
I’m sorry to hear things are so tough for you right now. You’re not alone. Many people are in that situation.
It sounds to me like you need more support than you’re getting. Maybe a life skills course would be useful for you. Sometimes cognitive behaivoral therapy can help in a situation like yours. http://www.healthline.com/health-blogs/bipolar-bites/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-effective-bipolar-disorder
I would recommend trying a workbook for cognitive behavioral therapy if money is an issue (see the above link).
I also recommend attending a support group. You can find those online or in person. You could start by looking up your local NAMI chapter and see if they have any suggestions for support groups or programs locally.
You are not alone and help is out there.
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone either, but you can get through it.
- Natasha Tracy