Saturday, 7:15 PM
I’m getting ready for the second 7-hour stretch of sleep. Honestly, I’m not sure whether I’m awake or not at this point. So little sleep over so many days. This has been the longest month, um, week, um I mean, three days ever. Want to make time stand still? Try not sleeping.
The day has been so up and down in energy and mood fluctuations that I feel like my molecules are spinning apart a little. Perhaps I will become see-through…
Saturday, 12:30 PM
On goes the chronotherapy experiment.
For the last couple of hours I’ve regained a bit of energy. I guess it’s those early morning hours that are the biggest bitch, but then they would be, if you don’t sleep. Still definitely exhausted.
My brain still feels like it’s sliding out my ears. It’s all squishy and porous. Thoughts are leaking. I can’t seem to maintain a ribbon of logic…
Saturday, 7:30 AM
Continuing on the chronotherapy experiment…
Seriously dude, I am tired. Like, really. Two days with almost no sleep. I am not fun to be around either. Growly. Annoyed. Nauseated. Brain-dead. Mistake-ful. Comprehension-challenged. Hurting. Dizzy. Icky. Not with the happy.
It’s not the end of the world. I’m not homicidal or anything but I really, really want to sleep now…
Saturday, 1:30 AM
Continuing on the chronotherapy experiment…
Thus ends the first sleep. It was supposed to be 7 hours but apparently, that was not to be. I went to bed at 6:oo PM as directed, but sleep would not come. I didn’t sleep any sleep medication as I felt that after 36 hours I would actually fall asleep on my own. Ah, have I learned nothing about my brain!?…
Friday, 5:30 PM
Continuing on the chronotherapy experiment and just about to set down for my first sleep in 36 hours. I’m exhausted and tired and pretty much shocked that I survived 36 hours awake. Really, I don’t recommend it.
I’ve got increasing anxiety that when I actually do lay down in 30 minutes I won’t sleep. And then I’m scared that I won’t wake up again at 1:00 AM like I’m supposed to. I suppose if there’s nothing to worry about I’ll make sure there’s something to worry about. Sleep and stress. They are so tightly knit…
Friday, 12:45 PM
Continuing on the chronotherapy experiment. Feeling much better. Almost felt like I was going to pass out a few times around 10 AM but I seem to have picked up a second, or third, or sixty-fourth wind or something.
The panic is gone and the anxiety has diminished. My friend is awake again after he napped off and on for 2.5 hours. He’s allowed to nap, I’m not.
I think I’ll be able to make it to 6:00 PM but I wish it would hurry up and get here already. This has been the longest day, ever…
Friday, 9:00 AM
I’m still alive and ticking on the chronotherapy experiment. Still pretty tired. Dizzy. Nauseous. Feverish. Coffee’d. But still going. My friend is still here but he’s dozing in and out. It’s mostly Dexter keeping me company at the moment.
I had some moments of pretty high anxiety and panic but as long as I sit still and focus on the TV, the computer or my iPhone it seems to be OK. Quietly. The word of the moment.
I think I can stay awake until 6:00 PM. We’ll see. My brain is pretty scrambled…
I’m still alive and ticking on the chronotherapy experiment. Pretty tired. Dizzy. Nauseous. Coffee’d. But still going. My friend is keeping me company and on-track. It’s early days, but so far so good…
Today I read about a new therapy known as Triple Chronotherapy. Yes, it’s a big fancy word. Chronotherapy. Quite frankly, it sounds made up.
But it isn’t.
Chronotherapy is a combination of light therapy, prolonged wakefulness and sleep phase advance. It aims to reset the circadian rhythm to treat depression.
Pretty much weekly I get messages from people who are desperate to help a loved one with a mental illness. I hear versions of this story over and over, my child/parent/sibling/friend/spouse is sick and won’t get help for their mental illness. They say they would rather be in jail than be on medication for their mental illness. They can’t take care of themselves and they are going to end up on the street. Their behavior is destroying our family/relationship. Their behavior is destroying them.
Believe me, I get it. I really, really do. And sometimes you have to except that not everyone with a mental illness will get help. Sometimes you have to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness.
When I tell people to see a mental health professional, I recommend they get someone who specializes in whatever mental illness the person has. This is just common sense. You don’t go to a neurologist when your foot hurts.
I also tell people to get a therapist who specializes in their disorder. Again, this makes sense. Honestly, if your therapist is used to hearing the woes of the Real Housewives of Some Rich Place then they may not be the best choice for a person with major depressive disorder.
I tell people to get a therapist for their mental illness because psychiatrists don’t do psychotherapy.
I am very medication-reactive. Not so much with the positive effects, but I can almost guarantee you I’ll get all the side effects.I get every side effect for antidepressants, every side effect for antipsychotics and every side effect for pretty much anything else.
And sometimes, just for good measure, I’ll get side effects that doctors say “aren’t possible”. They are my favorite. And those overractions are often on the lowest known effective dose of the medication.
But if you add a low dose, lower than thought effective, of an antipsychotic, can this be helpful?
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