Do you have bipolar depression and feel like you need a vacation? Well, I have sad news for you, vacations can make bipolar worse, not better. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t have to, and if you’re in a good place in your bipolar right now, you might just have a great time, but if you are really sick with bipolar, that vacation you want might make your bipolar depression worse.
People with Bipolar Want Vacations
It’s natural to want a vacation from work and your everyday life. Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want to step back for a minute and put their toes in the sand or lie beside a pool or eat croissants in Paris? Totally normal.
But people with bipolar disorder may want vacations for a different reason. People with bipolar may want vacations because they want a vacation from the bipolar disorder. People with bipolar may be lulled into a sense that if they just took off and spent time on a Grecian island for a while, their bipolar would be better and they could have a break.
I can say this because I have felt this way myself. I mean, everyone else loves vacations so much, why wouldn’t I?
Vacations Make Bipolar Worse, If You’re Already Sick
But I’m here to tell you that vacations are not a break from bipolar they are often a worsening of bipolar. Really. This is not to be depressing here, this is just to be realistic. When you upset your bipolar routine, change time zones, eat different foods and put the pressure on yourself of expecting to have fun and feel better, your bipolar depression gets worse, not better.
Like I said, if you’re lucky enough to be doing well before you leave, this might not happen to you, but if you’re in a deep bipolar depression before you go, a vacation is not going to “fix” your depression. If it were that easy you would find me backpacking across Europe right now.
My Vacations with Bipolar Depression
I can tell you what has happened on my few vacations with bipolar – I felt like crap most of the time.
Yes, I love Paris. I think it’s one of the most magical cities on the planet. Shopping there, getting palmeirs from bakeries there, wandering through the streets there are all very good things, indeed.
But if you think that gives me a moment of respite from my bipolar depression, you’d be wrong. Wherever you go, there you are, as they say. Wherever you go, there your brain is. Wherever you go, there your illness is. Trust me. Bipolar gets on the plane with you.
Take the Pressure Off If You’re Bipolar and Vacationing
I think part of the reasons that vacations suck so much is because everyone else loves them and we feel forced to love them too. When you go to Palm Springs or Hawaii or Disneyland or Barcelona and then you sit around in a massive depression unable to do, let alone enjoy, anything, you just feel worse about yourself. You feel less human because you’re having a reaction that other “normal” people don’t have. You’re doing the opposite of what you want, what you went there to do. You went there for a break and to be happy and when you don’t get that it’s like salting the depression with, well, more depression.
I think it would be helpful to not put pressure on ourselves to have fun, feel better and love the experience. Without that pressure, it might not be quite as salty. We have to realize that symptoms like anhedonia, apathy and sadness don’t disappear on foreign shores and just accept that. Forgive that. Live with that.
So, No Vacations with Bipolar Disorder?
I’m not saying don’t go on vacation if you have bipolar depression. If you want to go, go; just don’t expect it to make your bipolar depression better. If you were in an everyday funk, like an everyday person, without a brain disease, maybe then, maybe then it would cheer you up; but that’s not you. You’re different. Sadly.
And if you’re going to take a vacation maybe consider one that interrupts your routine less. Maybe stay in the same time zone. Maybe keep the same hours. Maybe don’t eat local cuisine off food trucks. Maybe don’t abandon your exercise. Maybe even consider staying home and just doing what you love in your own space. After all, there is a lot to say for spending extra time with friends or in your favorite local places you normally don’t have any time to visit.
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news on this one but I’m just trying to prevent you from spending thousands of dollars to end up in a magical place with no Earthly way of enjoying it. Maybe there will be a better time to see the French Riviera. Or maybe you’ll discover something you love closer to home.
Either way, just remember, vacations don’t fix bipolar depression any more than they do cancer, seizures or diabetes. There are no vacations from those things. That’s just something you have to get used to.
I read so many posts of people going on vacation and I feel great that you have the means to do that. Doesn’t the circadian rhythm issue really screw with your heads if you are going through time zone changes and what about the whole med schedule? We drove our son with his car cross country for his new job many years ago and I was ok most of the way there but when we hit our destination I was a basket case becuase of time zone difference. I dont even remember e the days I spent in the hotel bed. We flew home and I had paid the price for it many times over.
Just wanted to change last name to W
i am responding to blog on July 4th about fearing homelessness bc it is hard to hold down a job and I am living on disability but as you say barely enough. With the cost of everything going up and barely any income bc I have a hard time working due to depression it is a real fear. I am almost 65 and have no family to help me out at all. So it is real scary.
I am 61 and this is keeping me awake at night.. I hope ther still is disability insurance after the republicans go after we who are “entitled”.
I am so happy I found this site as you are explaining exactly how I am feeling all the time and I have never seen a site where bipolar is explained so accurately bc you have bipolar. I remember when I went to Paris with my bipolar illness I was still very depressed even though I LOVE everything about Paris including the awesome food and wine!! But felt bad I felt bad and you are the first person I have ever heard say this! And I have been diagnosed with it over 15 years now. Thank you for this blog where we can share our experiences and have a safe place to do it!
YOu went to Paris? I cant even go the store most days becuase I cycle 2 or 3 times per day.. Haven’t been on a vacation for over 20 years. One can dream. I wish you peace.
Every time I return from a vacation, it triggers a depressive low. Every flicking time.
Vacations always seemed to trigger depression for me, the intent to plan a great vacation, long lists of what I wanted to accomplish while away, places to go, things to do… Always started out well intended, but would always rapidly amp up the anxiety and start to feel overwhelmed… Mind racing…
This year I started treatment for major depressive disorder immediately prior to a week off, my missus insisted we have a “stay-cation”, to monitor the effects of medication (smart because I’ve never been on meds ever), and to focus on relaxing…
…and it was great. I’ve spent the the entire summer focussed on long weekends visiting friends and relaxing at home, enjoying my surroundings. (for the first time in decades I allowed myself to only work 40 hours). A good vacation doesn’t have to be a cruise or the mad crush of an airport.
To me it all depends on my mood. If I’m even a tad depressed then no way I’m going to have fun. Everything becomes very tiring and exhausting and all I want is to sleep, obviously.
If mania hits me then it’s all the way fun haha but it can get out of control.
But generally I’m baselined when I go on holidays, I just had a few travel experiences in which I was a tiny bit depressed, like my trip to beautiful Indonesia. The last week me and my boyfriend were staying at this paradise-like island and everything just seemed a hit overwhelming to me. And even baselined I tend to get quite anxious before a big trip. I am going back home to Brazil to visit my family in December this year and I’m already worried about time difference and my sleeping pattern (!!!), guess I’ll have endure some difficulty on the first days but it will be ok.
This makes the second summer in a row where my depression has been so bad, I am on the inside watching everyone enjoy the sunshine and lovely weather on the outside. I don’t even have the energy to get myself out the door to visit family whom I miss terribly. They live just over two hours away and I don’t feel well enough to make the drive.
Then I have my rapid cycle moments when I hop into the car and spend like a fiend at the grocery and dollar store, only to come home and down very quickly, regretting my purchases and wonder where am I going to find the money for my next set of bills. It’s in those up moments where I feel I could see myself driving somewhere to get away for a couple of days to get away from my BP exhaustion. Alas they are short lived.
The only time I’ve enjoyed a vacation is when I’ve been manic.
Perhaps this article should be retitled: “The Inability to Afford Vacations Can Make Bipolar Depression Worse, Not Better.”
Here I am alone on the 4th of July – my husband is helping someone move today, for a pitiful handful of cash because we need the $ so badly. The $700 we had painfully set aside to travel the 600 miles to visit family and friends this weekend is gone, thanks to sinking it into an old Chevy, in hopes we can get 200,000 miles out of it, or I don’t know what to do next.
There’s a painful reality that’s rarely addressed here, although a few posters have made reference to it.
Here it is: When people suffer from BP, their careers and work lives are often sporadic, shortened, or ended by disability. Their income is significantly diminished, and they are more often dealing with those basic needs of food, clothing & shelter, not vacations. Such costly and lofty concepts of overseas and lovely island vacations don’t ever make the “things to do” list.
And here’s an even bigger reality – while we all seem to acknowledge there’s a genetic component to this illness, no one seems to take that thought to its logical conclusion…we have immediate family members who also have BP – that means they too have limited income, countless educational & job losses, medical care needs while uninsured – Rx’s to be paid for; disability claims to wait & wait & wait for…all the while trying to help support one’s own disabled adult child or children on one’s own diminished disability income.
So there it is. Vacations? Ha! I’m either on a blog site with a bunch of Trust Fund babies, or folks are not thinking very realistically.
Do I feel angry today? Yes I do. Perhaps it’s because it’s the 4th of July, and America’s promise has not just passed me by, but one (and possibly two) of my adult sons, also due to this difficult and stigmatizing illness.
Or maybe it’s just those constant car repairs preventing me from going anywhere.
Vacations? Just a fantasy for so many of us.
Patricia
You bring up points that scare the crap out of me. I grew up poor but somehow with many afflictions of the brain scraped and crawled and fought my way to the top of my profession. THought my family and I were set for life. Then an accident which I believe triggered this disorder of which I am BP 1 , cycle multiple times a day, have severe depression and anxiety forced me to leave my work, dignity, and so much more behind. That was almost 16 years ago and I have spent all our monies and stock and 401k etc keeping this family sheltered, fed, had insurances paid for , sent son to college and masters and paid for it and now Reaching 61 I am looking at a life for my wife and I that is beyond horrific for me. I haven’t been on a vacation since this happened to me. How I am going to pay for us in retirement. I am on disability but it is far from being enough. I fear homelessness i staring me in the face. My wife and I are together but I cant see her suffer anymore. I don’t think people don’t bring it up for a few reasons and the number 1 reason is they don’t want to deal with it. or think about it thinking that maybe these financial issues will go away after they hit the lottery.. I am too damn smart to know they won’t. I am screwed. I am scared and My health is getting worse.. So, you are far from being alone. I am hanging on for dear life.. I go to sleep crying and I wake up crying and spend the whole day in loneliness becuase my wife is working to help make ends meet. I wish you peace.
Michael
Thank you for responding, and I hope my talk of the financial hardships that go hand and hand with MI didn’t leave you in a worse place today. It is a scary subject, and I think you may have nailed the reason why it’s practically a taboo topic. I appreciate your input, and like you, one of my biggest fears is the prospect of homelessness too – far more for our 34 year old BP son after we’re gone, than for ourselves. My second biggest fear is that the other shoe will drop and our 35 year old son will have a manic psychotic break too, just like his Mom and brother before him. I’ve seen flickers of hypomania in him several times also – he is now at the same age when I had my first break, thus that prospect terrifies me. I sincerely hope your son and any other offspring you may have are healthy, and remain so. I have my days when I feel like I’m a pile of genetic garbage – most of my emotional pain comes from the knowledge that I passed this horrible illness to one, and possibly both of my sons. We did all we could to support them and they are fine young men. It’s frustrating to be barely able to support ourselves these days, let alone trying to help our ill son as best as we can. I too am 61, my husband to become 67 in a couple of days. Our abilities to work in small bits is rapidly fading from a plethora of other health problems too.
Although I hardly ever post, I’ve read many of your posts on various topics and identify with many of them. While I’m mostly a rapid cycler these days, or prone to agitated depressions, I know you suffer from Ultradian Cycling which seemed to be triggered by an accident – that has to be just horrible.
I also share your concerns about long term Lithium use – particularly kidney destruction; my use has been intermittent, but my son has been on a high dose for 14 years consistently, and has become manic several times when he tried to taper down.
I understand your guilt about your wife working while you can’t, and the ensuing loneliness. I think it’s the loneliness combined with the need to communicate with someone who understands our plight that draws us to these sites – and Natasha’s is a terrific one indeed. We’ll talk again; have a peaceful night.
All my love to you and your family.. I am deathly afraid of my 26 year old coming down with this horrific disease. , I cant even think about it anymore without going into a panic attack. All of us were born innocent. In the end does it really matter. I feel like I am a walking funeral. Again, My love to your family. Thats all I can say. I dont know what more to say . Just another day in paradise?
WHY WHY WHY !!!
I live in a country where it is a right for many people to have paid holidays and as such, vacation is an inviolable institution. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to participate in that scheme, for a variety of reasons. I am continuously blamed for my inability get myself into that system because I have been unable to obtain the paperwork and the gainful and legal employment that include such a benefit — or any other one, for that matter, like health insurance and a stable income, far more important. To take any sort of vacation for me is financially and logistically inconceivable. What I have to do to get there is riddled with what are for me insurmountable obstacles. So even if the prospect of a respite, change of scenery, glamorous getaway etc. did miraculously present itself, it would just be rotten at the core.
I don’t *feel* like going to the beach because I *feel* dead inside and if I *feel* dead inside, then I will not enjoy the beach. I am at the beach and I am not *feeling* what I’m supposed to *feel* because I *feel* blah.
I can’t go to my friend’s wedding because I do not *feel* happy for her. I cannot muster up even a smile, her way, because I do not *feel* joy for her.
Do you see the thing within the *s? It is *feel* and *feel* is a verb, not an emotion. It is not even a mood.
I *feel* dead so I do not *feel* like going to work today. Okay. Yet, the boss gripes to you when you do about your attendance issues. At which point you *feel* as if he or she doesn’t understand you and what you go through each day.
Again, a verb not an emotion or mood.
There are so utter many days that I absolutely *feel* numb, dead, lifeless. I cannot conjure joy, happiness, positivity, motivation, want, desire.. not even anger or agitation can I even create within me. There is, indeed, a hollowness.. a deadness… a sense of living while dead.. a zombie.
Yet, I still go on vacation when I can and I still go to a wedding, if invited and I still go to work, if I have a job. Why? Because I *feel* the need to, the obligation to, or that I am to do so for another who means a lot to me.
So, I go to the beach or the Lake.. even while feeling dead inside. I patter around inside the room or trailer.
I stumble to the waterside perhaps and imagine walking into it and not stopping, quite often… and I may even just sit upon the edge of the dock (if one available) for a long while, eyes closed – too exhausted really from breathing and living and just BE.
It’s still better than where I typically am and what time and space of life of which I’m typically at… even if it is just for a wee little time.
This article is an example of how everyday remedies for regulating mood don’t work for a mood disorder. It feels awful to eat a chocolate when you have no pleasure.. it is depressing to be at a beautiful beach as tt sunset when you can see that it is beautiful but you feel no joy.
Taking a vacation is still important however. Try to go when your mood is stable so that it can improve your quality of life. Quality oog life helps in the overall management of the illness. If you are chronically unwell try to take a mini break that is not so exhausting. Just visiting a good friend and stsying the ni h t helps.
Sorry a out typos.
I also feel that there seem to be a never-ending list of extra burdens and restrictions with bipolar disorder. I want to be able to have “normal” feelings. I want to go on vacations like other people. But, it’s just not possible. Most people only have one kind of feelings which they just think of as “feelings”. People get sad. If you’re bipolar, you’ve felt another kind of feeling which is also sad, and powerful, and hard to distinguish. Bipolar depression is sometimes just a “whatever” but usually it clings to something, a trauma or guilt. And you are left wondering how much of the sad is “normal” and how much is bipolar.
Therefore, I will never have “normal” feelings. They will always be in question. It’s not fair, but it’s unavoidable. The moment I stop questioning my mental state I place myself in danger.
I can physically go on vacation like other people, just like I can walk around and live with them when I’m not on vacation. But, it isn’t “normal” living. It’s an illusion I create for other people because the consequences for everyone would be worse if I didn’t.
The thing is, if you are a person living with someone with bipolar, you’ll be quick to point out that everyone else works pretty hard to keep that illusion up, too. Everyone around me is trying to pretend I’m normal. It just feels like it’s all me because I’m always around when it falls apart. Other people have the option of taking a break, even if only for a few hours. I don’t. But, we’re all trying.
No one can ever experience what another person does. Scientific evidence supports the theory that there are brain illnesses, of which bipolar is a specific kind. People are different, but people with bipolar share a common set of experiences just like people who have other kinds of neurodegenerative diseases, like MS, do.
People with MS can go on vacation. Going on vacation won’t be a vacation from MS, and some kinds of vacations might be less enjoyable or more dangerous than they would be for an average person.
And I think, if you read the post, you’ll see that she agrees with most of us. It sucks. Nobody wants to hear it. I feel it to. I can’t even go on vacation? And it sucks that no matter how much you know it’s a result of a physical disorder, the only sign you carry of that illness is your behavior, and that is the one thing you always hide.
But, i don’t think Natasha is the appropriate target for frustration and rhetorical questions. But, I get it, and I think she gets it, too. No one gets to talk about it. When we find a place to say something, people use it to say what they can’t say anywhere else, what they can’t say to anyone else.
To quote Tabby, “Just once… just once, could we just be human?
Bipolar doesn’t create ALL mood states.
We have to have mood states, in order to then be diagnosed with Bipolar”
Exactly. Natasha’s claiming insult without realising how insulting and demeaning her writing can be, even if not intended.
Oh, and Natasha from another article of yours in which you mention, “you can’t prove a negative”
Source: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2013/11/bipolar-symptom-childhood-abuse/
(* please note that I agree with you that not all people with bipolar diagnoses have abuse in their lives)
Actually, you can. You can prove that there are no dinosaurs in the world. You can prove that the square root of 2 is not a rational number.
Okay.. because it’s Summer and the post is about vacations… and in that Bipolar Depression typically lasts longer than Bipolar Mania (it’s supposedly a given)… and we, who suffer ahem struggle with Bipolar already are so limited and restricted and regimented… and are told by others that we are to be so limited, and restricted and regimented… are now suggested to just not vacation or to do so, a bit closer to home or maybe – at home.
I’ve had awesome vacations and I’ve had miserable ones. The awesome ones are the ones that have no agendas or plans.. the ones where I didn’t have to “mind” or “follow” or “aim to please” anyone but me.
The ones to which I could do as I wanted, sleep as I wished and if I didn’t want to lay by the pool and crisp in the sun like a side of pig… I did not have to and it did not piss anyone else off cause I did not feel like it.
I do not go on vacations very often and seldom even plan on them. My work doesn’t allow many vacations. I do not earn a lot of time and the time I earn typically gets eaten up by dr. appointments and being out sick (mental and physical). The time out sick then is looked at negative by the Supervision/Management so, I have to keep that to a minimum.
Yet, when I do get to do one… depending on who I’m going with and where and how much it may run me (cause I’m also poor)… I’m anxious prepping for it, I’m miserable during it cause I’m doing what everyone else wants or expects and trying not to *mood ruin* it for everyone else… and I don’t want to leave and return home, when it’s time to leave.
It’s kinda like a psych inpatient stay. Removed from your life for 2-3 days to then be returned from whence I left to all the stress, triggers and drama that caused me to cycle into having to go… the hospitalization itself, causing even more stress and triggers and drama… and well, nothing of my life any better while I was gone.
Just once… just once, could we just be human?
Bipolar doesn’t create ALL mood states.
We have to have mood states, in order to then be diagnosed with Bipolar because otherwise, how would anyone even begin to observe any odd “mood” states, in order to even suspect Bipolar? In addition; not all “mood” states ARE Bipolar created… sometimes, ya just are in a mood.
I am not Bipolar 24/7/365. Believe it or not, I’m not symptomatic 24/7/365.
There are moments, every so often and sometimes – I know this may seem unbelievable – every day, that I’m actually fairly “normal”. Sometimes, those moments gather together and become intervals of time and sometimes those intervals become hours and gasp… sometimes a day or two… that I am NOT symptomatically Bipolar.
I have periods of clear reasoning, lucidity and insight. I have periods of time that isn’t marred by some “mood” that is abnormal in context to what is going on around me.
Sometimes, I am exhausted – hence, a mood. Sometimes, my blood sugar is a bit too high or too low, hence a mood. The boss pisses me off.. I’m in a mood. Sometimes, I’m just in a friggin mood… like all other human beings… doesn’t mean it’s Bipolar or Bipolar created.
Bipolar/mental illness manifested… is a mood that is abnormal or extreme to/in the context of which it exists.
For example: I am raging at my co-workers over simple plans for a party for another co-worker and becoming more enraged as the discussion continues. No one is being belligerent or argumentative, but, I’m in a *mood* and I’m agitated and feeling heightened aggressiveness.. thereby, possibly slighted by something Susie said that I mistook or I’m focused on her in particular because I’m obsessed with hatred for her.
See, cause – in my opinion, which I’m entitled to cause I’m breathing… if I’m just mentally ill every literal moment… then really, anything I say or do, is circumspect for questioning.
Cause if you are mentally ill every literal second, then you are not ever “in your right mind.” Psst, the emphasis is on the “mentally ill” part.
Perhaps, I should rephrase a bit of the last comment. You don’t say it is completely due to biological factors but your writing style would make one think so. There is absolutely nothing about trauma and abuse in any of your articles. And psychiatric labels have the potential to obfuscate the very real problems in living that people face.
However, “Childhood trauma is associated with severe clinical characteristics of bipolar disorders.” Source:http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24229750
You’re causing harm by writing the way you do to, without atleast having an article mentioning certain things. How? Imagine someone gets raped, and also has a bipolar label. This person’s clinician (although a sensible clinician wouldn’t) or relatives decide her depression is largely due to bipolar disorder instead of what she’s been through. Do you think this doesn’t cause harm?
In everyday, usage we say, “My asthma’s making it difficult to breath”. However, it’s recognised that technically, the cause of it is a combination of biological and environmental factors, with different people varying.
Technically speaking, how do you get a diagnosis of bipolar disorder? On the basis of mood and behaviour. It doesn’t technically make sense to say that the diagnosis made on the basis of mood and behaviour is the cause of that mood and behaviour itself. It’s different from saying something like “The varicella virus causes chicken pox”.
So, while you may feel depressed for no reason. This isn’t true of everyone with the same diagnosis/label.
Frankly speaking, it is very insulting to me as well, when your articles insinuate that people such as myself feel depressed for no reason at all and it is completely due to malfunctioning biology. Not everyone is like you. But the way you write gives that impression.
@Natasha:
Insulting? I didn’t think it would be so. Anyway, you obviously don’t gave to answer them if you don’t wish to.
Also, I haven’t said “it’s the other way around”. There is a misunderstanding because you’re misconstruing what I’ve written.
I said, bipolar disorder is a descriptive label which says that a person has experienced depression and mania with factors varying from person to person, but in a very general way due to interacting biological, psychological and social factors. That’s very different from saying “it’s the other way around”.
Also, it’s a different thing if you’re experiencing mania on your own, or due to a drug prescribed to treat depression in the first place. Either way, you’d have a bipolar label.
I can relate to Michael’s comment about getting out and doing fun things but ” just taking a shower is an unbelievable chore”. It seems a lot of little things I used to enjoy I can’t stand doing anymore. I’m 53, by the way, and was only diagnosed as bipolar about a year ago. It was rough finding the right med combo but then things were great until a few weeks ago. Now it seems the mania is more on than off. And my husband doesn’t have any interest in learned about what I’m going through. He certainly doesn’t understand that if my mind is racing and I’m up until 3am, why haven’t I gotten anything accomplished. I recently was stricken with lymphedema in my arm from a bocthed shoulder surgery and I was going to school to learn a new career. Now I cannot go to school or work and am applying for social security. So my depression is running very high as well but my mania has been in charge more often lately. I’m hope to get balanced out soon but my doctor is unavailable so I’m cliffhanging just now.
The SSRI is escitalopram* and not escitalopran.
Of course, depression and mania are very real.
“What does your diagnosis mean to you?”
It means that I’ve experienced depression and mania.
The medications you take, what is it you think they do for you?
The SSRI escitalopran causes a high. If taken alone without a mood stabiliser, the high spirals into hypomania and then mania in a gradient like fashion. I have never had mania otherwise, if not induced by an antidepressant.
The Lamotrigine prevents the SSRI high.
The mirtazapine helps to some extent with the SSRI induced tremors.
The drugs ease the mental feeling of pain. They do not alleviate my problems in living with which my depression is causally associated (i.e. domestic and other issues)
“Would you tell a diabetic who was explaining dietary restrictions to stop using labels?”
I have not asked anyone to stop using labels. I have also mentioned that they are useful for categorisation and research purposes, and are used generally speaking.
I asked to be more detailed in Natasha’s case.
“Would you ask a person with eczema ‘Why are you so itchy? Are you itchier than the average person? Why do you experience blisters? Don’t say it is due to eczema, that’s not an explanation of anything.’ ”
I would ask a person with asthamatic symptoms, “Do you experience these symptoms due to pollen only or does it happen in general?”
“Would you say to someone with arrythmia who declined a heavy physical task ‘oh no, heart disease, heart disease, heart disease?”
In the context of psychiatric labels, I would ask someone, for instance, with an OCD label who has a fear of dirt and contamination, to not think “Oh no, I have a brain disease, I can’t touch dirt because I’ll panic!”
Edit: The duplicate comment may be deleted.
@xy12
I can’t quite figure out what you’re trying to say here (and I find your use of the word “colloquial” baffling).
I completely agree with you that it’s important to not use a bipolar diagnosis as an excuse to not tackle issues and stressors, and that medications are not a cure-all, but you are coming across to me like you don’t even think it is a real disorder.
What does your diagnosis mean to you? The medications you take, what is it you think they do for you?
Again, I agree with you that it’s not the same for everyone, and that there are people who rely on diagnoses of mental health issues as an excuse for their problems, without putting in the effort to learn coping mechanisms or evaluate underlying problems, but there is still a value in the label you so adamantly decry. Just as with leepfroggie’s example of an asthmatic whose body simply works differently, the brains of people with BPD work differently, and not using that label to describe those differences is nonsensical. I’d be very interested in an example of a time you would feel it was appropriate to ask these questions of someone with other health problems.
Would you tell a diabetic who was explaining dietary restrictions to stop using labels?
Would you ask a person with eczema “Why are you so itchy? Are you itchier than the average person? Why do you experience blisters? Don’t say it is due to eczema, that’s not an explanation of anything.”
Would you say to someone with arrythmia who declined a heavy physical task “oh no, heart disease, heart disease, heart disease”?
Escapism..isn’t that what we all long for?
Just time away from the grind of bipolar…to feel at peace …
I’ve always felt running away vacationing …yes! To the UK first again then Thailand…
Then maybe a African safari!!
I dream of shopping in NY…all the designer fab stuff,UK boho chic..
Whilst forgetting I haven’t the funds….to even go much past Montreal…
Bummer..realizing I too,was looking for fairy godmother to touch me with her magic wand remove
The nasty bipolar & all other illness…
Thanks for …if I ever do come into money,the reality check …& saving money Natasha!
There are spas not far about 45 mins away I’ve been w my sister…..the spas are lovely as is food
But they are pricey,& sister is very busy
We used to go ( they had weekend packages save money,gfs check these if you like massage mani,pedi,
not Brit food,normal food….) it was a small country kind of town.
We would walk look at boats,then into town,stop for coffee ( tea for me) go to second hand book & jewelery places,really cool….so as Natasha’s idea ..it was easier than say a long airplane flight ( ew)
You don’t know what’s available till you search.
Need not be mega costly either….
Google it once you decide what you want…
Or ask round,another way good places get spread
Guess we must accept ourselves as we are,
Remember that, when natural feelings of escapism come up.
Anyhoo
I meant to type that,no typo.
Stay well friends
We all deserve wellness,
Everyday is a process,
We do the best with what type of bipolar we have,
At the end of the day…
I know that is good enough…
Xx
Sandra in cyberspace…..
I just went to a family reunion for a weekend out of state with my sister and her kids. It was exhausting. The next weekend I slept for almost a whole day and felt so much better. I was depressed to begin with and being around a ton of people made it worse. Of course everyone understands that everyone is different but the gist of the article is don’t expect a vacation to make your life better because it may not help. In my case it only made it worse. Of course it also wasn’t a choice vacation :)
I get it. Bipolar are just supposed to sit at home, take pills that make them fat and dull and whine how “bipolar” robbed them off good things.
If it was not for my vacations I took in the past, not sure how I would go on sometimes. So I look at pictures of the places and remember the people….. and life suddenly makes sense again.
And I don’t go to your typical “oh-so-pretty” resorts either. Backpacking in Albanian while venturing to Kosovo is not what any shrink would recommend. Daily routine goes bye if your ferri leaves at midnight and you bought a deck ticket, because you want to save bit of money. THese hostels are too loud and people too interesting for you too sleep too much. But who cares? Some of the experiences will give your life new perspective. Like if you wander around capital city of unrecognized country and see memorial stones to young fighters. Some were not even 18. Puts one’s misery into perspective.
Last time I went to vacation to save my life was in 2012 and I went to Crimea. I was a wreck. But I went. It helped a lot. Found beautiful places and good people. Realized one can survive a lot. And I am glad. Guess what? Because then I didn’t have time to go for foreign vacation and now the beautiful penninsula is occupied…. So maybe I disturpted my sleep routine a bit, but…. I have memories!
You don’t have to like vacations. There is no law saying you should like vacations, or like certain kind of vacations. Seriously, I don’t like organized trips and thought of laying on beach for days and doing little else scares me.
So find your own thing. Forget “bipolar” and all that. What you want to do? If you wanna go backpacking in the Balkans or India or wherever, forget it might be considered a no-no for bipolars and go. Of course, you cannot run from yourself, but sometimes being in new environment does one good. You realize a lot of things about yourself, others and the world.
Venus H..
It all depends on the severity of it. I have trouble just getting out of bed and it seems to be getting worse. Backpacking sounds wonderful but for me taking a shower is an unbelievable chore.
hi! i loved ur comment about vacationing on Natasza’s web.
I did the same-I just went,many,many times.
I usually got very psychotic and ended up in many psychiatric institutions around the globe.
It was all ok just the money I regret.
Would I do it again?Yes,there is nothing better to do!
One should remember the descriptive nature of labels. There isn’t a specific entity called bipolar disorder.
Though categorisation may be useful for research and other purposes, internalising them and thinking “Oh no, brain disease, brain disease, brain disease” is a recipe for disaster. Everyone’s different and their reasons for being depressed vary.
@leepfroggie
“I have to wonder if you would phrase your question the same way to someone with a physical ailment.”
Depending on the context, why not? Also, you seem to have missed out the fact that I wrote: “Don’t say it is due to bipolar disorder, because although you could say that COLLOQUIALLY.”
I have a bipolar diagnosis too. Perhaps these will give you a better idea where I’m coming from:
https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-disorder/top-5-myths-bipolar-disorder-debunking-bipolar-myths/#comment-138155
https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-disorder/anger-symptoms-bipolar-disorder-it/
It’s also important to point out that people with Bipolar I need to be careful about vacations for a different reason. Taking off a week in the Winter to get more sun and longer days can induce hypomania or mania. Going back to a dark Winter with short days can then induce a depression. You can ruin a stable period of life that way.
As a person with Bipolar, I find vacation at home to be what I need. I have more time to go out. The rest of the time I can just live in silence for a while and let go of trying to act normal around other people. I can take more time to make lunch, brush my teeth a little better, and do all the other things that I feel like I’m always rushing or dragging myself through.
Mostly, I need to avoid oversleeping.
I tend to find that vacations by themselves don’t make my bipolar depressions worse but coming home can throw me for a loop, especially if I have traveled across time zones. When I do travel, I make it a point to get my sleep on the local schedule: once I tried sleeping my normal hours and that meant I was never awake when anyone else was. Not a good idea.
I learned the hard way and went through 3 time zones to be with my son on vacation. Mania got out of control to the point my son even got nasty with me. That was many years ago. My wife and son have since been on vacations together and I have to stay home… The agony and pain in my heart that I feel for not being able to be with them is beyond words. My wife just came back from being with my son traveling throughout the northwest and I begged of them to send me pictures wherever they went so that in some way I could feel like I was on vacation with them. I was home alone, no one to talk to nor be with and I couldn’t even be with my wife and son.. Its a double punch to the gut. The depression has gotten even worse. Damned if I do, Damned if I dont.. I wish so badly that I could get out of this daily hell. I was born innocent but why do I feel like the guilty one affecting my family in such a negative way.
Natasha, why do you feel depressed? I mean, does it just happen spontaneously for no reason? Are there stressors? Do you feel more depressed than the average person would feel for the same environmental stimuli? Why do you experience hypomania or mania? Again, is it spontaneous, drug induced, or are there some stressors? Don’t say it is due to bipolar disorder, because although you could say that colloquially; technically, that’s like saying I feel depressed due to depression-mania disorder. That’s not an explanation of anything. It’s redundant.
It’d be interesting to know.
I have to wonder if you would phrase your question the same way to someone with a physical ailment. It’s not unlike saying to someone with asthma “Why do you have trouble breathing sometimes? Don’t just say it’s because of your asthma”. Some of the time there will be triggers which exacerbate the underlying problem that makes it hard for the asthmatic to breathe. Sometimes, though, they get caught off guard with an unexpected attack.
I can’t answer for Natasha, but I know for myself (also someone suffering with bipolar disorder), I pay very close attention to specific things that can trigger a mood shift for me. For example, I can be very affected by changes in the weather. I’m really good at catching those shifts and taking action to minimize their effects on me. But that doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t get hit with a change in mood that has no real trigger. Sometimes there is something internal going on with my brain that makes it stop working the way I want it to. Doesn’t matter how hard I try to create the optimal circumstances — sometimes my brain just doesn’t work right.
Exactly,my sentiments…
Sometimes there just is no explanation,even for me..
It’s such a drag,isn’t it?
Ruins ones day completely!
Sandra hanging in bipolar Cyberspace…..
Hello xy12,
I’m not answering your questions on purpose. I find them insulting and a complete misunderstanding of what a brain illness is. You can think whatever you want but I recognize that bipolar induces all kinds of things in people and not the other way around. Depression is because of the bipolar – believe it or not.
– Natasha Tracy