Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder is tough thing. It feels like the end of the world. Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder feels like the foretelling of your whole future.
But it isn’t. Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder doesn’t have to dictate your future. You still have the power to do that.
Have You Just Been Diagnosed with Bipolar? Watch This.
I readily admit being diagnosed with bipolar disorder is the end of a world, but it isn’t the end of the world.
With my new diagnosis of bipolar 2 I’m trying to learn how to live with it, however sometimes all the information that I find triggers *those* voices in my head that tell me how worthless I am, how I’m gonna be a crazy for the rest of my life and that there is no way out and no help. So one thing that seems to work for me is to eat the meat (what pertains to me and is helpful) and spit out the bones (that which does not apply to me and would not be helpful), and I pull away from the mental illness sites and newsletters and such for a while. Sometimes I just need to chew on what I’ve learned. One step at a time. :)
Since being diagnosed with bipolar 2, ADHD, anxiety disorder and major depression, the diagnosis of being bipolar seems to be the hardest to accept. I feel like I’m trapped in my head during the depression and there is no relief and no hope for the future. I have voices telling me that this is how the rest of my life is going to be, that I’m crazy and that I have no more value. I know none of this is true and I use a lot of positive self talk, but how do you handle the really bad days when those thoughts won’t go away and are relentless?
My Psychiatrist nicked named Katrina as in the “New Orleans Katrina” and I’m from New Zealand. Fresh coming from a legally blind health professional who had only my voice and blurry visuals of myself to base his treatments on. But he was the best of the best in his profession and in my town and in my country so who was I to judge. At least he knew when I was having a “Katrina” moment/day.
It sucks though being Bipolar and the stigma attached it too comes together like identical twins. I make a point of telling everyone new I meet that I’m BP so as to cover my tracks once and when I will eventually insult or offend them without realising it. But it’s wired because when we say our goodbyes they’ll always say I’m lovely. Like I don’t want to be known as the lovely elephant in the room! Really people!
Reading the comments is doing my head-in along with this rapid cycling ride that does not want to end.
I thought reading these would help me to sleep. Now I want to take a sleeping pill or a few not an overdose just enough to clear my head from reading these comments. This just reminded me that I too have serious mental health issues Diagnosex BP. But it’s good to know I’m not alone.
*deep breath* I would like to thank you for this conversation, as I really appreciate a place where I don’t feel so out of control. I’ve been BP since I was a 15, some 17 years ago, and I find it hard to make myself go seek medical attention, let alone stay on the prescribed path longer than a few months. Not because I don’t recognize I have a serious condition that I have a hard time controlling, not because I don’t love my family, or boyfriend, and not because I’m happy with the state of things as they are. I’m also obsessive compulsive which makes my delusions that much more intense. I have often pieced together bizarre and threatening (at least to me) ideas from books, television, conversation, and even random things such as receipts. I have made a complete fool of myself many of times over the years, and I’m sure there will be plenty more in the future. When I’m manic, I am either amazingly organized (to a fault) or paranoid and “drawing lines that aren’t there.” This makes it extremely difficult to get anything productive (besides my little projects, many of them) because I’m afraid of dealing with people I don’t know and constantly talk myself out of doing something important, like making phone calls to doctors or actually walking into a waiting room with strangers, because I’m completely insecure about my state of mind. All that, of course, makes for a really limited lifestyle. I don’t leave the house much, I pretty much pushed all of my friends away (either on purpose, to protect them, or through my actions), and my family and boyfriend are so tired of watching and listening to my crazy, that they have become somewhat apathetic to my cries for help. Not that I would make it to a doctor cause of one insane suspicion or another. My last unsuccessful attempt to see a psychiatrist, I didn’t make it past the paperwork because I felt like I was being judged for my untrusting behavior, and asking so many questions about the forms and paperwork. Medical and legally binding documents terrify me to no end, and I’m not even sure why.–Scratch that, I’m afraid of signing away my rights as a person on the account of just not understanding or totally over thinking the entire thing.
Now it’s getting to the point where I know, honestly, that I may lose everyone I know or love because I can’t get a handle on myself. On my good days, I can be charming as hell, but they seem farther and few between as they used to be. I don’t want to lose the love of my life cause I have a hard time dealing with the world and all it’s crazy (whether real or imagined). I know I’ve become somewhat of a joke and equated to “that crazy guy who thinks the sky is falling,” and that hurts me. It doesn’t make it any easier to relax. I have quite a few issues and I accept this for what it is, I just can’t seem to do anything about it. It’s like I’m frozen in time. And I know that I can’t rely on someone to do things I hate or fear for the rest of my life, but sometimes it would make all the difference if they were willing to try just as hard as I am, and listen to my insecurity about crowds or public places, even if it’s all just in my head, simply because I can not help it otherwise. I have no control over the bizarre associations I make with certain situations. And it shows. Or at least I feel like it does. I don’t know.
(I just talked myself out of knowing whether I know what’s happening or not
Just an FYI to all.. This holds true for me being the recipient of ritual beatings from as early as I can remember to in my teens. I am also severely bipolar withe depression and anxiety co-morbidities. Took me 10 years to come up with a diagnosis and no one was focused on my PTSD.
Renowned traumatologist, John Briere, is said to have quipped that if Complex PTSD were ever given its due – that is, if the role of dysfunctional parenting in adult psychological disorders was ever fully recognized, the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used by all mental health professionals) would shrink to the size of a thin pamphlet. It currently resembles a large dictionary. In my experience, many clients with Complex PTSD have been misdiagnosed with various anxiety and depressive disorders, as well as bipolar, narcissistic, codependent and borderline disorders.
Unfortunately, she’s a grown woman, so although you may not like her doing those things, she’s perfectly within her capability of doing those things, so I wouldn’t even talk about “medical” issues.
Your a grown up insensitive man,you don’t even know give her the benefit of the doubt…
This is what bullies do,not grown ups!
You have always been perfect…wow…
No comment.
That’s interesting. You think you can “control” people. Hahaha poo on you.
Help! My best friend is on 60 mgs of paxil 3times a day. She says this is for her depression. Her mother has Bipolar, however my BFF states she does not, her doctor gave her a blood test to rule it out. I truly believe she thinks people just don’t know any better. When in actuality, they just don’t like “making her mad.” Which can happen at any time. Ughh, ok, let me back up. I met my bff 16 years ago, she was 18, I was 21. We both had a first children that year. We hit it off amazingly, same mindset for child rearing, same tolerance for life in general. Our biggest difference back then, she could sleep for an entire day. She stated it was her one day “off.” Now fast forward approximately 9 years, she starts sleeping all weekend and getting very angry at very minor issues. She took off for about 2 weeks leaving her fiancé, her oldest daughter(from previous relationship) 11, and her 2 year old son. She wouldn’t communicate with anyone, was staying with a guy she knew when she was 14. Then out of nowhere, came back around, explained to all of us that if we couldn’t understand she just needed a break from things then she didn’t need any of us. There was nothing going on that anyone could see, making her need a break and she couldn’t explain what was causing her to need this break she would just keep saying “everything is too much stress.” Now during this time she was reporting to work, but was let go and told everyone that she was legally bound not to discuss the reasons for her termination. Things were kind of normal for a while, at least the new normal. Everyone knew that comments were always taken as criticism, so conversation were bland, or more so just agreeing with anything she said as to not “set her off.” She has taking a liking to bragging to everyone that she is the biggest B&*ch and there is no way she is taking anyone’s sh*^. Fast forward again to present day, all the new personality traits, and some new ones, are ever present, as is her either sleeping for days on end, or being awake for 3-4 days straight. She has gone on shopping sprees and forgot to pick up her children at school, the next day she slept through the time to pick up the kids and was late again. She also transports her neighbors children and in turn, also picked them up late. Her neighbor was very upset and my bff decided to post on facebook her dislike for overhearing the neighbor discuss her. She explains that she was very ill in the morning and fell asleep and “some things CANNOT be helped”, hence her lateness the second time. She never acknowledges the shopping trip that got her sidetracked. She screams nasty, nasty things at anyone, but especially her husband and oldest daughter. The obscenities alone are horrific to hear her shout, but the name calling and accusations of them not being better, doing better, doing more for her are very upsetting. I have done so much research, I am trying to be very understanding, however I am at a loss as to how to help her as well as her children. I tried making a conversation with her, she got very mad, which I expected. She told me I need to stop labeling her like her husband has been, she is not her mother and never will be. But unfortunately, I think she’s almost worse. Her mother refuses to help out because she said she needs to realize there’s a problem on her own. I am afraid between the paxil and each episode getting worse and shorter cycle in between the calm times that its only a matter of time to where she either crashes her car from lack of sleep or hurts her children or herself. Anybody have any ideas??
Hi there!
One possibility could be drink or secret use of sustanstanstances..
Of course MI,bipolar many other diagnoses….
Reason I keep coming back to substances is due to the lact of the acceptance that they aren’t well
Many of us,of us don’t know what’s wrong but we sense something is up..
Plus how your friend she change course was over 9 yrs…I assume she didn’t want to chat re it.
This sounds like use your gut, but it’s hard
That’s why we have I’d start with a psychologist give no drugs see her reaction,see her for awhile
Then let him….send him sort her out appropriately.
Take a nice hot tea + bubble tea break!
You sound like a fab friend!
I am too,only I’ve been a BFF w a chick over 30 yrs!!
I’ve no car,yucky winter,she’sMI groups @ d
I’ve a Dr service come bunches of so many sicknesses
Finally,a positive,I wish to write some bio.
To be as act as an active hopefully Drs pray reaserch pharmaceuticuł industry!!!!
It won’t happen soon,due to my seizure,just in recall…..
But the most powerful & important & noble works
ROME NOT BUILT IN DAY
Chuck, I have a neural net processor, a learning computer.
Bipolar disorder does define you if the fact that you are sick is kept from you.
Families do this because they feel the stigma belongs to them as well. I was in
the service before I was diagnosed manic depressive. Elavil was the drug of choice
then and it worked. I wasn’t aware and stopped taking it. I spent the rest of my life
either being stellar or a black hole. I had no idea that my thoughts were not my own.
My adaptation was based on chaos theory. I took little and gave all I had at any particular
time. I felt I could handle the the consequences and created consequences. Mine has been
an interesting life. What I think about bipolar is of little interest to me now. I take medication that
appears to work and go about my life almost as I have for the last fifty years. I am, that’s all
I am. But I lived as well, sometimes very well and other times in worlds were no one treads. A finito.
Hi to everyone!
Yes,I’m experiencing the med increasing it’s slumberland …but whoever that stated the body ones body
needed it after mania…so true.
It is just temporary,but I detest it,though it’s only been since Wed ,is Sun.
Slow Can’t figure why,but see Dr 2 weeks…
I’ve been feeling symptoms except once daily to venture out….mixed episode…plus tremors= occasional – more than..
No not the meds,it’s the meds,it’s my epilepsy.
Dr trying to move up up my appt was in April…
I don’t want my new friend to witness any of this : psychosis,epileptic seizure,etc…..mega
Shameful,particularly,my tremors,,& how I can’t stand long waiting due to blackout possibilities
Yet,I believe a real friend you don’t keep secrets from or hide
-anyway,one day someday severity of rapid cycling BP.
Tremors,I could have a seizure anytime when w her…
So,guess as my Dad used to state I shouldn’t make a mountain outta of a molehill.
If she still hangs about,but still concerned…query answered too.
I guess I’ve really upset about the seizure,& having to take so long for the adjustment…
I have 18 th bloodwork for levels for that & see if I’m anemic ,ton other things….
Ps last never least very important!
On the day I way told was I had rapid cycling bipolar,I was NOT UPSET…Explained much of the unexplainable….
As FOR YEARS WAS TOLD SCHIZOEFFECTIVE…./ ( BEEN IN / OUT THERAPY HOSPITALS SINCE AGE 20s,)
SO…IM NOW 56!
AT LEAST I WAS TOLD in TIME TO START ON TIME TO START THE RIGHT COURSE OF CORRECT MEDS.
I’m still not where I want / should be….
It’s so hard,to get the sleep at night well,but not zoning out in the daytime!
Plus,as I’ve as said,w other issues ( med) that req meds that cause fatigue….
Notice nearly every female here,jokingly at first…
Then you hear the pain,of the weight gain!!
I don’t want to be thin for a man,but for my health.
Plus,blood pressure as it runs in our family….
Also diabetes.
So,that’s frustrating,in Ontario it’s cold,windy.
Naturally,your famished want to eat more!!!
Oh well.
I know deep in my soul,the honest fact that I
have been out of the hospital I think,1 year &
3/4 …no,not mega long,but small steps.
Plus,this is is since my diagnosis & my
most severe serious suicide attempt.
I think due to my perfectionism,another way to
cope is sometimes ( when I feel that argghhhhh)
Must be second by second…..
Or,when I’m out & about,spread good karma.
Example: I am always extra extra kind to
my elders or anyone in pain….
The latter as I relate to…
I guess,tricks are we all have to find ways that work
For us & make our lives easier..
I’m not saying I’m a Pollyanna,HELL NO
Also yes absolutelely educate ….even SATIRE
If you’ve must count 1-10…… SO be it
Stay well,Sandra yours in Bipolar
Cyberspace….
Hi. I was recently diagnosed at bipolar with rapid cycling. I’m still learning what that is. The meds I’m on seem to be helping as I feel more…even, but I want to sleep a lot which is weird for me. I used to be go-go-go. I used to accomplish so much in a day that I was refered to as “the machine”. I rarely sat still. Was that a mania or hypo stage? Now I’m the opposite. I don’t feel “sad” or “depressed”. I just don’t feel like doing anything. I’m not working right now, just home with the kids. I do get up, make their breakfast, lunches and send them to school but once they leave I just want to go back to bed. Which I usually do. Then I get up, shower, pick them up from school, make dinner, eat and want to go back to bed. I get angry at myself cuz I’m not doing more like I used to. I do the laundry, housework when it really really needs to be done but before I was always on top of it. Before I would always have the laundry done before anyone could say “mom I’m running out of clean underwear”. Now it’s “mom I have my last clean pair on” and I’m like 0h shit, I better do some laundry instead of sleep. Am I “normal” now and the way I was before “un-normal”? Is this what most “normal” people are like-the way I am now? Is this a “lower” period of being bipolar? What led me to initially seek help was severe pure rage. Suddenly everything pissed me off to the point where I felt like I could kill. I was a little shocked when I was told I’m bipolar but I feel like I should trust the Dr I’m seeing as he’s the head of physichiatry at our city hospital. And the meds have taken the anger away and I’m generally happy and pleasant. But….I just wanna sleep too much. What do you think?
Hi Tamara:)
I also only wanted to sleep when I first went on meds, and I mean fall asleep while driving want to sleep. Eventually my body adjusted so I didn’t have to take a nap every time I took my meds. Your body needs an adjustment as the meds for mania quiet you down. And there is a good chance you’re pretty wore out from the mania so sleep may be a good thing for you. Just remember to take care of yourself first, as if not, you can’t take care of your family:)
Tamara,
I agree with Ruth, there is an adjustment period. mine was pretty lengthy; my doctor kept me on each med for a period of time to see if it worked. After finding the right one, then we had to get the dosage correct. And just when you think your done, addressing sleep issues, ADD, etc. It wreaks havoc getting it straight, but it does get better.
It’s interesting that within the range of behaviors, some behaviors are considered by “authorities” as being punishable by forced injections and being locked up by a criminal while “they” observe you and tinker with you like a spider. I could care less what “authorities” think. I’m sure many bipolar people on the surface look like a crack or meth addict, but who cares? I do. I don’t let people *uck with me, and I let them know if they want to *uck with me. Doesn’t mean I won’t be *ucked with, because I have a mean streak and I don’t care about “them”.
Being diagnosed with Bipolar was tough on me at first…but then it became liberating. I now had an answer, of some kind, for the day to day craziness I was experiencing. It had a name, a cause, a “reason” for why I was the person I was. Stigma is society’s problem, not yours. Focus on what you can control – how you approach your illness, and let everyone else think whatever it is they want to think. You cannot control them anyway…and hell, they already think you are “crazy” to begin with, if you’re anything like me and my life experiences! Make it an empowering thing, not a weakening one. Turn the tables by using your new found knowledge to attack your problems head on. You’ll never get anywhere denying the truth. And if you are misdiagnosed? That will be figured out soon, in all likelihood. So don’t stress there either. Realize a label only has the power that we decide to give it…