My bipolar makes me feel so angry, but I know I’m not. I know I’m not really angry. I know that the signals that I’m angry are coming from my sick, bipolar brain. But I feel very angry anyway. I can’t make the anger go away, even through notable insight. It’s so frustrating and the existence of the anger, and my inability to make it go away, makes me even madder.
Anger and Bipolar Disorder
I have said that anger is not a symptom of bipolar disorder. And according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) I’m right. There is no symptom in the DSM-5 of anger in bipolar disorder.
Okay. But over time, I’ve learned that people with bipolar disorder have significant issues with anger and rage. I’ve learned this through copious feedback and now, my own experience. Anger may not be an official symptom of bipolar disorder, but it’s sure something many of us deal with.
I’m Not Angry but My Bipolar Medication Is
In addition to whatever anger bipolar disorder might bring to a person, I’ve found that many bipolar medication side effects can make you angry, too. There is one medication that I take that ups my anger. When I was on too high a dose, I recall being completely unreasonable and even rage-y to others in a way that was completely unlike me. In reality, I know that my mind is not really angry. But I know that a bipolar medication side effect can sure override that.
I’m Bipolar but I’m Not Angry – Really
I have said before that anger is primarily a useless thing. Anger always hides another, primary emotion, typically, when you get down to it, the desire to be loved. When you work out what is truly bothering you and why, you can successfully deal with the anger and make it go away.
Okay, fine. The trouble is, my bipolar makes me angry for no reason. I know that I’m not really angry. My wise self, my wise mind, is not angry. But there is anger coursing through my veins anyway.
This is so frustrating to me. Because there is no underlying problem causing the anger, there is nothing to deal with and thus, no way to make the anger go away.
And I believe this is what happens to people with bipolar disorder frequently. People with bipolar disorder feel angry, don’t know what to do with it, and thus, take it out on other people. People with bipolar seem to rage for “no reason.” But the reason is the bipolar disorder. It’s the bipolar brain that’s causing the anger.
How to Deal When You’re Not Angry but Your Bipolar Is
Considering I feel bipolar anger pretty much every day, clearly, I don’t have the answer to dealing with it. That said, there are coping techniques for dealing when you’re not angry but your bipolar is:
- Use your insight to understand why you’re angry. Don’t get me wrong, you can be genuinely angry about something in your life, but you need to seriously look at your anger with insight to determine whether it’s reasonable or whether it’s just coming from your bipolar brain.
- Don’t take your bipolar anger out on others. I know this where people trip up. People seem unable to deal with the bipolar anger and get mad at others. You can’t do this if you expect to have a happy life with positive relationships. Learn how to walk away and deal with the anger without hurting others. I know that burning anger inside is horrible but it’s sure less horrible than externalizing it and losing those you love.
- Learn new techniques for dealing with bipolar anger. You may need to go to therapy to truly learn new techniques for dealing with your anger. Take responsibility for your anger and your actions and get into therapy if you need it.
- Learn to calm down. You may find that something like exercise, meditation or yoga can help calm bipolar anger overall or when it is acute. Purposeful breathing and counting can help, too.
- Communicate to others about your bipolar anger. It’s not enough to have insight when you’re not really angry, other people need to understand this too. Learn to communicate before, during and after your angry bipolar brain rears its ugly head.
When I feel angry but I know I’m not; when I know that it’s bipolar that’s angry, my biggest rule is not to take it out on others. I know this is really hard for some people. But remember, others don’t deserve to suffer just because you do.
I like to learn the hard way.
I also think anger doesn’t have to do with lack of love but frustration,more than anything,
and provoked by lack of sleep.
I know less sleep I get the more more manic and angry I become.
I mean,think of kids why do they lose control?
Over frustration.
Not saying we are children!!!
But the lack of control example)
I know my family love me,I ponder to if it’s also some jealousy in there?
As many family members are married have good jobs & lifestyles.
I do get jealous when they say they just vacayed in Europe,that I’ll never be able to go b/c I’m sick!
Frustration as like why not ?
I’m not even 60 yet there’s ppl older that go to Europe.
My sister will make up all this crap,you have no passport” be so hard on your back travelling”
You could never do it”
Thanks for the positivity.
Negative Nancy.
I feel when every new yr comes,so bloody what?
Sos, nothing really changes.
Meh
Oh man……this post has my name tagged on it.
I have scary outbursts of anger that scare ME
Broken computers,cell phones,dishes,been in physical fights with boyfriends,thrown things at them ,called my sister names made her cry.
Hung up on so many people,telling them to F off.
I feel crazy energy super strong I lose weight too …like I’m on speed w/ out anything.
I agree,some meds DO provoke anger,I have no idea why…I’m no chemist but must be a chemical reaction.
Now,though, it’s different.
If I’m angry I tear up paper
I listen to loud rock music ( well,not ear splitting) sometimes try & write feelings ( super hard coming from a fam that holds it all in) or I take a pad & scribble ( like a kid till there’s holes in the paper)
I DONT WRITE ANY EMAILS TO FAM OR RING THEM UP ( so no one gets hurt)
As I know my behaviour is hurtful & damaging
Seems to be working since past few months or so,plus addition of a new med.
You do really have to think before reacting,which as bipolars is extremely difficult as we’re emotional creatures.
We have the recipe wrong,,we REACT FIRST INSTEAD OF THINK FIRST
Anyway,my 2 cents.
Must go feed my hungry feline.
Ciao.
I think death is the only way to free from this kind of hell.
Wonderful information. I went to my mums 80th birthday last weekend. My daughter was present for it. She doesn’t talk to me and i don’t know exactly why. It breaks my heart and when shes around i get awful anxiety and the scars in my heart seem to bleed. I had my second breakdown when she was 11. I left the family home as i couldn’t take anymore from her dad he wasn’t supportive. I spent four months in hospital getting back to good psychical and mental health. My parents took the three children until i recovered. Sadly due to the amount of medications i was unable to be a fulltime mum. It scared me. Id continuous harassment from her dad. It drove me over the edge and i retreated to my house alone alot. Family never said anything to my x husband. However at the party my x husband was dj also. I got so very drunk and very upset lashed out on my sister and friend. I was totally out of character i never do this. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very understanding. Family are bad at communicating and ive lived alone 12 years. But they were quick to comment on this. I feel so ashamed and annoyed with myself. I guess it just all peaked. And came out after drink..
I rarely get angry but when I do, it’s off the charts. I have an unrelated question. I’ve been diagnosed Bipolar ll for nearly 20 years. How do you differentiate between situational depression and bipolar II depression. In my case, I make it paycheck by paycheck, looking for work at 67 is not easy. I’m totally depressed about the mess our country is to the point of tears. I’m sleeping 16-18 hours a day to avoid/escape life in general. How do you tell the difference” I hear in my head the BP voice that says, “Ask me if I care? re: showering, dishes, etc. which is always present in my BP disorder. Do you have an answer?
My anger and rage started when I was about 11 years old, which is also the same time bipolar manifested. It is something that I struggle with on a daily basis, and I have to take very sedating meds in order to keep me calmer. Even with the medication, I can fly into a rage extremely easily. But I no longer rage and hit people and things like that. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to manage better. My son had his first bipolar episode at 13, and he was full of Rage, when before he been one of the most easy-going kids I knew. I absolutely believe that anger and rage are a symptom of bipolar disorder. The only time I have anger problems is when I’m in an actual episode.
After five years of being on meds, I never thought I’d be “On of ’em”… the ones who decide to stop taking their meds.
For some reason I stopped taking mine a couple weeks ago.
What followed was pure rage. Turns out it is listed as a withdrawal symptom from the medication I stopped, as this particular med works with GABBA receptors.
I’ve been angry before, but it’s been a while since I was THAT angry, the last time I was I attempted suicide because the agitation and irritation and anger combined made it physically unbearable.
I guess, it turns out, I like to learn the hard way. At least I learn.
Paul, thank-you for being so honest. Your description of your anger is what I feel most days as well. Have you found anything at all that helps you with your anger? Medications or other wise? My family relationships are really being ruined by my irrationality and anger.
I so identify with anger for No reason at all. I was never an angry person until I went through menopause. I exercise, do yoga and try to get out hiking/walks everyday. I take 150 mg of seroquel at night and 10 mg ambien for sleep. The only medication that helps with my unprovoked anger is Xanax thoughout the day. I take it so I am not so irritable with my teenage son, husband and sister who also has bi-polar disorder.
I have had a serious anger problem as long as I’ve had bipolar. It erupts far more frequently than any of the typical symptoms, although it definitely gets worse when I have hypomania. When it’s really bad, I cannot control it because it affects my entire body – I can feel it literally running through my veins and nervous system, and my vision contracts to a red tunnel. I can only see what is in the small circle within that tunnel. My brain basically shuts down, and I have no real thoughts except that I’m angry.
Paul, thank-you for being so honest. Your description of your anger is what I feel most days as well. Have you found anything at all that helps you with your anger? Medications or other wise? My family relationships are really being ruined by my irrationality and anger.
Yes, SM, I believe one or more of my meds is helping with the anger problem, at the same time as my bipolar episodes have become less frequent. I have been on antipsychotics (as mood stabilisers) for some time, and I’m definitely better than I was for most of my life before this. I have no idea which is the one that’s helped the most.
I’m bipolar, and I really am angry — about the political situation and the degradation of the environment and so many terrible things IN THE WORLD. Nothing to be angry about in my life right now, but I am fearful about the US political scene taking away some of the programs that keep me alive and healthy. There was a guy I knew about years ago who got elected to the city council of a city I lived near. He got so angry he kicked the elevator door and broke it. His remark was, “Anyone who knows what’s really going on who does NOT kick the elevator door, is the one with the problem.”