As people who read this bipolar blog know, I’m on medication, lots of it, actually. Nevertheless, many people (philosophically, even me) wish to be medication-free. I’m the first one to say this usually isn’t possible; however, today I’m talking with CEO and Medical Director Dr. Kim Dennis from Timberline Knolls (a sponsor) about bipolar disorder without medication.
Refusing to Take Bipolar Medication
First off, it’s important to know that refusing to take bipolar medication and possibly, someday, being off bipolar medication isn’t the same thing. People almost always need medication to get stabilized before getting off meds is even an option. For people with bipolar who simply refuse to take their meds Dr. Dennis says,
Motivational interviewing is sometimes useful when someone is too afraid to take a medication. We start with how well or not their life is working out without medication? What has their illness untreated cost them? Do they believe they can have a different life in recovery? Do they have fears about giving up certain aspects of the illness (like mania/hypomania)? Do they have fears about medication, intended effects and side effects?
It is in getting past this that bipolar medication can be used and recovery be achieved. It’s only then that going med-free can even be considered.
What are the Chances a Person with Bipolar Could go Medication-Free?
In my view, slim for anyone who has a severe case of bipolar disorder, which is most of us. Here are Dr. Dennis’ thoughts,
It depends. How severe is the illness? What type of bipolar disorder (severe bipolar 1 usually needs medication lifelong; mild bipolar 2, not necessarily so.) Is it really bipolar disorder or is it something else misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder (addiction, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, etc.)?
When Would Going Medication-Free be Indicated?
Dr. Dennis feels that going med-free might be indicated,
If a person has only ever had mild symptoms, and they are getting good benefit from non-medication alternatives—therapy, support groups, meditation, yoga, omega 3 fatty acids, etc. Any decision to stop medication needs to be supported by a person’s physician and the process should be slow and highly monitored. The individual needs to see their MD weekly, have family and other support people involved to provide feedback on how the person is doing, etc.)
Personally, even with weekly visits I’d still be worried. A person can do a lot of damage to a life in a week. (But, of course, hopefully other supports would step in and get the person help if that started to happen.)
Going Bipolar Medication Free
So maybe I’m a little conservative when I think about going off of meds – but that’s me. I know what would happen if I did it and I just feel protective of others to ensure that the same thing wouldn’t happen to them. But as you can see, above, a professional thinks it could be done in a limited number of cases. So if you happen to fall into that group and want to give it a try, put the right supports and non-medication treatments in place and talk to your doctor (never do it on your own).
I am 23 years old. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was twelve, took medication through high school, and stopped taking it when I graduated from high school. I think I’ve been fine since then. (My parents claim I exhibit “bipolar rage” when I get into arguments, but I don’t agree; I think I’m just angry and my behavior is normal.) for the past year or so, I’ve been experiencing a lot of health symptoms, such as foggy head, aches and pains, etc. I’ve been to every doctor in the book, from ENTs to neurologists, to pulmonologist, to nutricianists, etc. you name it, I’ve been there. Nobody has been able to come up with an answer. Recently, things have gotten worse. For the past two months, I’ve been living with my mom in New Jersey because I feel that the air quality in the city makes my symptoms worse. I can’t, and haven’t worked. All I do is hang around her house all day, go to the gym and occasionally get together with friends. My dad thinks that maybe bipolar meds might help, but I don’t agree. I am very careful about what I put in my body. The only thing I drink is water. I’m a vegan, I’m gluten free, I avoid genetically modified foods and I don’t take any drugs, legal or illegal. The last thing I want to do is put these bipolar meds because of all of the potential side affects, and just generally because I don’t believe in putting that kind of stuff in my body. What should I do?
Absolutely NO drugs is the best option for BP. Drugs simply kill your brain snd make the illness worse. It takes years to get over the drugs snd heal your brsin. Which pdychist or psychologidt has tsken any of the drugs?
Hello,
Interesting… I am in the process of tapering off. I was first put on medications last year, atypical antidepressant because I was so “dumb”, exceedingly apathetic and slept 16 hours a day… I could hardly think or function, couldn’t focus, struggled to answer and string words together for questions like “How is the weather?”… It was bad… worst depressive episode. After about 5-6 weeks like this I was placed on an atypical antidepressant… about a month later the fog lifted… I had energy. I could focus on my psychotherapy and learn techniques. About 3 months on the medication my moods stabilized and I was able to apply the techniques I learned in therapy.
I can’t say enough that I would never have been able to do this without psychotherapy.
I have had major mood swings my whole life, impulse control issues, suicidal ideation, guilt, memory issues and I thought they were all normal… until Last summer, I had always had spells or bursts of energy for 4-5 months where I would (now I know) become slightly hypomanic. Last summer, I became hypomanic to the point of having hallucinations and delusions, paranoia, gaps in memory and a mixed episode. When colors start becoming so out of control for me and my crazy sleep schedule was out of hand, I decided to seek help from a psychotherapist. She suggested I see a psychiatrist… and that’s how we arrived at this diagnosis.
I have worked so diligently at all the CBT, interpersonal rhythm therapy, the organized sleep schedule and mindfulness techniques. I also received a diagnosis also for celiac disease, so on a new diet now too. I take my supplements (multivitamin, Omega 3’s, low dose of melatonin as necessary) and exercise moderately now. It has been a long journey, but I truly believe I can make it without. Again though, I don’t believe I have ever had a full blown manic episode. Intense Depressive episodes don’t seem to cause as many “problems” (arrest, hospitalized etc.) mainly because I was so tired I just wanted to sleep and do nothing. My hypomania can be wonderful and with the mindfulness and good insight I can control it now. I think if I had severe mania, medication would be necessary.
I’m 27 and I’ve had 2 manic episodes with psychosis in which I was hospitalized. The doctors all said it was bipolar 1. After my episodes, meds helped me get stable again. I was on medication for over a year with no symptoms. With close monitoring from my psychiatrist, I tappered off and I have been medication free for over a year now. I’m still not sure if my diagnosis is correct. But I feel fine and have no symptoms other than occasional depression. But if my episodes were preceded by high levels of stress that made it difficult to sleep. So, maybe my psychosis was just lack of sleep? Anyone have answers?
*both of my
How are you doing now?
My story is almost like yours I had two manic episodes with psychosis where both times I was hospitalized, mine were 21 years apart first one at age of 21 when I had my son and then Med free for exact 21 years, I had my moods up and down but never knew I was bipolar, then exactly 21 years later I had another episode again with major psychosis both episodes were from major stress and not sleeping, but now that I was diagnosed as bipolar 1. I’m just not accepting it well at all and not wanting to take Meds even though I know I’m not sleeping well and not doing good. Working full time all my life and being Med free makes me question if bipolar is even real
Are you still Med free?
I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 19years old when I was studying abroad. then when I went back to China, the doctor changed the diagnose and said I was schizophrenia. It wasn’t until my third relapse a good doctor saw my case and changed my diagnose back to bipolar. The strange thing about my bipolar symptom is i don’t have much mood swings at all when I am on my meds or off really. But when the relapse happens, it would hit me like a thunderstorm and i become much irritated and even violent (towards my parents usually). It is a problem I tried to solve for a very long time, since I was 19 and now more consciously at the age 33. in between 19-33, I’ve had 5 relapse and I’ve become more alerted about my conditions gradually. Before my last relapse, I even receive warning signs in my dream that the next one is coming. So I believe my illness is curable. I’ve seen myself becoming more and more conscious in living. Like I said, I don’t have mood swings at all during my days, the only program is when it hits, then I become mania, even have psychosis. a break from reality really. So that is something I am trying to figure out. If I become aware that I am in the state of mania, then I can change it. After reviewing my numbers, i realize if I take off my meds, I can sustain usually from 10months to a little over a year without symptoms. The trick lies in sustaining that period. and the key lies in awareness I believe. I am on my meds after my last relapse which was in last September, my plan is to take the meds for over a year, and gradually off it again. I know this is a touchy subject but I believe I can manage it. There are many alarming side effects that the meds bring, and I am not fond of it. I want to master the art of treating bipolar without medication, and I am going to write books about it. I think it’s going to help a lot of people. Wish me luck my fellow comrade!
Hi LP, I also went to China and I was hit by a car there. I sustained a brain injury and ended up with bipolar. I had the endured the accident in 2012 and was diaganosed with bipolar this year, 2016. My episodes seem to have begun abroad and I go high and then collapse when I come back to the UK and am hospitalized. I worry that the anti-psychotic medication makes me feel no emotion and as a result I have a flat personality. The times I have become ill I have been extremely stressed so I do believe I could go medication free and avoid the extreme stress. The first time it was more than a psychotic episode. It was a spiritual experience where someone came to me and said where are you from? I said ‘God knows’ and from the moment I had a huge supranatural force into my head. Priests say it was the holy spirit and I do believe it was because I
was shouting things like ‘God doesn’t want religion, why do u think I loved China so much? because there’s no effing religion there’. Anyway that has not happened again and it was the first time. The second time I went to teach English in Turkey and was under immense stress withe the teaching, plus I had come of medication. I was fine until I was triggered by a student and I was just ill all of a sudden.
I would love to hear your thoughts on my story and if you think I could go medication free.
Tom
I stopped my final Rx, Abilify, four weeks ago cold turkey and fired my psychiatrist as well. I have not had any withdrawal symptoms. I quit Wellbutrin last September. That was actually under the advice of my psychiatrist as I was reporting memory problems. I quit the Abilify as I think it has caused obesity. I have ballooned to 300 pounds. My case may be unusual — I am diagnosed bipolar I, but I only get full blown manic if I trigger an episode, and I know exactly what my trigger is (participating in online discussion groups.) Some anxiety went away after quitting Wellbutrin. The memory is still not so great. I hope the obesity declines from quitting Abilify. This is what people need to realize is prescription drugs — at least the ones I’ve tried for bipolar — have side effects. Big side effects. It’s wacamole. You solve one problem and another one pops up. And then the benefits seem to taper off over time so you are better off quitting. That is the way I see it anyways. I may be more prone to slight swings I suppose now, but I’d rather have slight swings than obesity and anxiety.
ps, i’m rapid cycling bp. never medicated. life is GNARLY, to say the least!
Milka, sounds like textbook schizophrenia. i have a brother diagnosed. He is not likely to ever become self aware of his issues. It is time to step in at whatever cost.
I TOTALLY agree about stepping in at any cost. My brother is schizophrenic and I had to commit him twice in his late thirties. After walking 100 miles, moving into a homeless shelter and almost killing me, he finally was put on the correct meds and his life is better than it’s ever been. Don’t wait and don’t give up!
Wow. So rizzo, I guess you’re a psychiatrist, huh? Otherwise you’d be way inappropriate trying to diagnose somebody’s brother from a comment that was made about him on a blog. So because your brother has a diagnosis of schizophrenia you feel it’s appropriate to jump in and tell a poster that their brother has schizophrenia too?
When you self-diagnose or diagnose somebody else — especially sight unseen, you are essentially assuming that you know the subtleties that diagnosis constitutes. This can be very dangerous, as people who assume that they can surmise what is going on with themselves or others who they read about on the internet may miss the nuances of diagnosis. For example, people with mood swings often think that they have manic-depressive illness or bipolar disorder. However, mood swings are a symptom that can be a part of many different clinical scenarios. The danger is that you may misdirect the clinician or even yourself.
One of the greatest dangers of self diagnosis or diagnosing others when you are not a qualified diagnostician with psychological syndromes, is that you may miss a medical disease that masquerades as a psychiatric syndrome. Thus, if you think you or somebody else has panic disorder, you may miss the diagnosis of hyperthyroidism or an irregular heart beat. Even more serious is the fact that some brain tumors may present with changes in personality or psychosis or even depression. If you assume you have depression and treat it with an over-the-counter preparation, you may completely miss a medical syndrome. Even if you do not want conventional treatment for depression, you may want conventional treatment for a brain tumor.
Questions that arise: Can you legally make psychiatric diagnoses in your state? Can you ethically make diagnoses? Is it ever ethical to diagnose somebody sight unseen?
If any of those three questions result in a “no” response (and they will), you are behaving in a very inappropriate manner that some people with family members with psychiatric conditions believe they have the right – even the authority – to do.
Plus, in the four short sentences you posted you already have shared false information. You are so far off base when you say “he is not likely to every become self aware of his issues.” I suggest you do a little more research into this – including the direct sharing of experiences from people who have received the diagnosis of schizophrenia – before sharing untrue hopeless information. You know its often not the illness, but rather the hopelessness that leads people to suicide. Why on earth would you want to share untrue hopeless info?
I suggest a better way to share your thoughts is to speak from your own experience instead of making broad sweeping (and inaccurate) statements. Something like:
“Milka, your description sounds a lot like my brother. My brother has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Has your brother been able to see a professional who can assess him? My experience with my brother has been that he hasn’t been able to recognize the symptoms that I think I can see so clearly.” (and I would add the following:) Do you have anyone you can talk to that can help you deal with the stress you might be feeling about this? It’s not really your job to try to “fix” your brother — that would create an unhealthy-for-both-of-you codependent relationship, plus you cannot “fix” another person, but you can do what you need to, to keep yourself healthy.
I’m going to say this from experience with a bipolar disorder diagnosed stepdaughter. I’m hearing all these stories about how meds ruined lives. Hell, before my daughter had an episode that got her hospitalized an in trouble with the justice system (that cost me over $7000) she had just finished college. What I’m not hearing is who you live with at this moment, where are you financially, what relationships are you holding without turmoil, what is your immediate family saying since you’ve quit meds. Where are you in life right now. Are you married, been on a job since you stopped meds & not quit or got fired or your usual mindset of people at the past jobs don’t like you. Clever to say you don’t need meds and not tell your story since you quit.
I broke my brain, before my stepdaughters diagnosis, trying to figure out how can this bright girl be so reckless. One semester to go to attain her bachelors and she was going to quit until my wife forced her to got & finish.
See, what I’m just realizing is the illness & those strikes with it with settle for absolute bottom just to lie to themselves that everyone else is crazy & not them. The refusal & excuses to not stick to a medically prescribe regamine is common
Ramone,
My name is John Ciccone,
I am 28 years old and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder at the age of 16 years old. After being hospitalized 5 times from the age of 16 to 23 years old I decided to get serious about taking responsibility for my life. I quit all forms of substance abuse at the age of 23 and was taken off lithium and the antipsychotic abilify over the course of one year from 22 years old.
In the time that I got completely sober at the age of 23 years old in June 2010, in these almost five years I’ve maintained jobs at corporations that include Loews Philadelphia hotel, Four Seasons Philadelphia Hotel, Rittenhouse Hotel, and I presently work for The University of Pennsylvania Health Care system, Penn Medicine as a registration and scheduling Associate. I left those hotels on my own terms and in good standing with each company I’ve worked for. I married the love of my life a year and half ago, We live in an apartment that we pay our rent and all our bills for, I lost over 70 pounds in the first year off of the medication, have ran 3 full marathons, and qualified for The 2016 Boston Marathon which I will be running at in 12 days from today. I finished an Ironman Distance Tiriathlon (140.6 miles of combined swimming, biking, and running in a single day) in Woodlands Texas in May 2015. I’ve also written and recorded over 600 songs in the course of the last 5 years. Some of the music can be found on Soundcloud.com if you search the name John Ciccone. I was also recognized at the 2013 Philadelphia Marathon Directors by the city council of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the United States for managing bipolar disorder through endurance sport.
I wanted to answer your questions from a personal standpoint because I am now well over 4 years completely free of all psychiatric medication and in June 2016 I will 5 years completely sober of alcohol and substance abuse.
So maybe this story can inspire some belief in the ability for people to live with bipolar disorder free of medication. It is a fine line though and it takes a lot of will and the willingness to do it in a responsible manner.
Yes, sometimes I become intensely sad for weeks, even months but the endurance sport training has helped me so that I have not had a mania since being taken off the medication over one year by a doctor who had faith I would hold up my end of the deal.
If you have any questions please feel free to email me.
Sincerely,
John Ciccone from Philadelphia
Mr John Cicone may I email you directly? If yes May I have your email address please. Thank you.
Yes, you may email me directly.
Feel free to email me at johnciccone87@gmail.com Me. I’d be happy to respond.
I’d like to email you as well what’s your email address ?
Feel free to email me at johnciccone87@gmail.com Katie.
Just to offer you another example of a successful bipolar life without medication, so that you would know it’s not just one of us out there.
I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the age of 18, which was then amended to being Rapid Cycling Bipolar w/ Mixed Episodes sometimes.
In High School I had mood swings like crazy, I would go nights without sleep and feel like I was on top of the world, I barely ate half of the time. I spent my life between High School, early college classes, Theatre, and then my nights were split between partying – getting high and drunk, and yes, driving that way – and studying/catching up on homework that was already way overdue. At other times, I slept through my classes, dropped out of two college courses, refused to see anyone – even my best friend – for weeks, and came home just to sleep. I self harmed and, honestly, felt like I was losing my mind. I got hooked on prescription pills that weren’t even my own because they alleviated the depressive states, they kept me awake, they made me happy. But they just pushed me back into mania. It got to the point where my “normal periods” were super short, I started to forget what it felt like to not be depressed or hypomanic. Still unmedicated, I moved out and my life, though I had managed to ween myself off the prescription med addiction and didn’t self-harm nearly as much (which is HUGE progress made because of talk therapy and the support of my boyfriend – now husband – at the time), I was still not 100%. I dug a pretty big hole of debt, ran away from my own bridal shower (yup, got lost in the rain with a dying cell phone because I felt the need to be screaming in a Target parkingt lot to my fiance over the phone instead of telling him where I was), have been pulled over for speeding (BADLY) in order to run away from my apartment (not sure why on that one), and have threatened to jump out of a moving vehicle. So, yes, being Bipolar is not the easiest to live with.
BUT, here is where I stop worrying you as much, I made the conscious effort to control these mood swings. I had been experiencing them for years at this point, I could almost FEEL when I was becoming hypomanic and I knew when I was becoming more and more depressed. I could feel when a mixed episode was effecting me to the point where my brain became fuzzy and overcrowded and I just exploded in a frantic rage. So, my doctor talked me into trying lithium. It made me sick and bloated and, honestly, after doing research I found out Psychiatrists don’t even follow the rules for the pill (no blood tests to judge my salt levels, no warning to not eat too much salt with it – the pharmacist told me that one, etc.). So I stopped that pretty much right away and looked up alternative methods to controlling my symptoms. I started to eat healthy (I mean, truly reallyyyy healthy) and exercising regularly, I took up yoga at least once a week (I don’t meditate) and started volunteering with animals, who always calm me down, and I started making conscious efforts to hang out with friends, to not cancel, to always go to bed at the same time, to not drink alcohol (which makes everything worse) and to never ever go above my budget to the point that I can’t dig myself out of the hole. I got myself on a routine schedule (Bipolar has a cyclical nature). I admit that sometimes I get a bit sad, and I sometimes get more “hyper” than usual and talk too fast and overspend. But I live in a nice two-bedroom apartment with my husband and two dogs, I have worked for the same job (the govt.) for the past 4yrs without a single problem, I have a B.A. degree and graduated with a 3.5, and I’m happy. I haven’t had a BAD moment – well nothing worse then being lethargic/slightly sad. When I feel sad, I take stuff off my plate, I hang out with friends here and there, I walk my dogs, I don’t let myself get too stressed. And when I feel hypomania coming on and I realize I’m overspending, I stop taking my money with me (I take my license and a $20 bill with me) until the urges have passed, I keep myself busy with work and volunteering and DIY projects and I ALWAYS make sure, even when I’m not tired, to go to bed one time.
So no, it’s not the easiest thing in the world, however, it’s possible. And I think it’s possible for almost everyone except the most extreme cases. I might have to take medication one day in the future, but I refuse to take it now. Not that I have a problem with medication, I don’t. I just know that it’s quite common that if you start taking them too early you will develop a tolerance and I don’t want to be 30 and have to take a ton of meds to control something that I KNOW can be controlled with the right lifestyle and willpower. If I have to take meds when I am 30, so be it, I’m just trying to make sure it’s the beginning dosages and not more than my body should be forced to handle.
Medication should never be the go-to unless the patient is a danger to themselves or others. CBT, talk therapy, and support for lifestyle changes can go a long way, trust me.
Hello –I really like your positive life strengths—my granddaughter is quite new to the dx BP11 so I’m searching for hope –hosp now for hyper –has law degree –a naturalist — is there someway to email me your composition that you shared on this site –would surely appreciate it –GOD bless you on all your endeavors –Sincerely
I have been off psych meds for almost nine years. Since going off meds I have gotten a job that I’ve kept the entire almost nine years, moving up within the company. I’ve gotten married. I’ve been able to provide support – and even housing – to others who have been struggling with symptoms. I own a home (I was living in my car at one point). I am not symptom free, but I’ve learned other ways to live a full and meaningful life without dealing with the side effects I experienced on meds. In fact I am healthier in every way off my meds, due to the side effects I experienced on meds.
One difference with my story and what you shared about your stepdaughter is nobody “broke their brain” trying to figure out what was going on with me. I moved to a state where I had no family so I could focus on myself and my needs for healing instead of having to respond and react in ways my loved ones found appropriate. I firmly believe it I remained where my family and loved ones kept judging (figure out why a bright girl can be so reckless), trying to dictate what I should do/think/say (force me to finish something I didn’t want to do), rescue me with huge strings attached to the help, etc., that I would be living in an institution at this point — fully unable to care for myself. What you described sounds so dis-empowering. I believe we humans need experiences where we can see the positive impact we have by the things we do/say. Seff-efficacy is huge. In fact I had a doctor predict to me that I would need institutional care within the year at one point. Instead of living in an institution, I am living a productive and impactful life in the community, giving back to the community, enjoying my family, AND healthy and happy without the physical health impact from the side effects from medication I had been on.
Going off each of my meds carefully and thoughtfully, in concert with the prescribing physician and assessing my symptoms with each medication removal and finding ways to live with the symptom, or other ways to manage it have been instrumental in my journey. I have been fortunate to have providers who are willing to work with my informed choices about treatment options.
That’s my story – since you asked. I don’t propose that anyone else should use my story as a blueprint for decisions they make about treatment. BUT people should be giving the full information they need to make informed decisions about their own care. Part of the full information might be hearing other people’s experiences.
Are you still Med free?
I was Med free for 21 years and had another manic episode and now not accepted meds but not doing well at all
Ramone first of all everyone is different and second of all insulting people and calling them crazy is not the way to have an adult conversation
It is just a question… I think my brother can have this mental disordee, he refuses to take medication and as I’m writing he is having an episode… believes we (family) are trying to kill him, he hears voices and when apparently sleeping his face moves involuntary. ..he refuses to take medication. What should I do? I’m concern for my children.
I’m bipolar 1 was on lithium for 13 years then gradually gave it up and have been med free for 7 years
r u still doing good and Med free?
I was also Med free for 21 years and had another episode but having a hard time not wanting to take medication because of all the horrible side affects that I hear.
Did you have any side affects from lithium? Is that all you were on?
I am 18 years old been fighting bipolar or schizophrenia whatever it is. Recently booked myself an appointment with the psychiatrist, I’ve been considering taking medication. Is it really that bad? the way most people go on about it. Is there any benefit. I want to know if someone out there feels its saved their lives… And they would not be where they are without it.
Hi Traderesi,
There are many, many success stories that center around medication. I hear them every day. People come online to complain about things — and part of that is complaining about medications. I’m the first to admit, they are flawed, but I wouldn’t be here without them. You need to discuss your medication needs with a doctor and make the right decision for you — weigh the positives vs. the negatives. And, honestly, you likely won’t be able to even assess the negatives until you try them.
I can understand apprehension around medication, but they are tested and they do work for many, many people.
– Natasha Tracy
I am 18 years old and have schizoaffective disorder and it is no picnic. I’ve been on pills since age 15 and am trying to get off of them. They are a big responsibility, if you miss a dose forget it. Withdrawel symptoms like crazy. I am getting better on my own; herbal remedies yoga therapy. It may be hard for me though. I’ve been on every pill and none work right .. They may help you, but not helping me.
Shelly, your story is almost identical to mine. Thank god I did not do ECT, but came close! No meds, no Bipolar Symptoms!!!!!! After 7 horrible years I’m glad to have myself back. So many years of my life were lost as well!!
Living med free for over a year,after being hospitalized.I believe my bipolar developed from having a difficult life.Still don’t have the kind of life I want but I’m in control of my mind,thinking positively and having less stress in my life.I’ve got this bipolar in order.I would like to encourage y’all to turn to God.He made you complete,not defective,without imbalance.He alone can fix this.He’ll do His part but we’ve got to do our parts too:taking charge over our mind(it is indeed not easy).If you can just trust God and believe He’s got your back,you will live a life full of joy and you will be a success.I have all the symptoms(just name it),but by the grace of God,I live through them.One day at a time.God sees our struggles and He wants to help us,if we’ll let Him.He loves y’all!
My child 8 years is a bipolar mood disorder and taking medicine sodium varpolic 300mg at morning +Rispridone 1mg+sodium varpolic 300 mg at night as per doctor advise.After taking medicine he is maintaining well before then.We are worried for side effect of medicine .Would anybody advise how long should take medicine ?.Pls kindly advise sajalm031@yahoo.com
I have been med-free for 2 years now. I think perhaps the hardest thing about it (except for the physical withdrawals… shudder) has been to shed the label of being “mentally ill”, the stigma of “craziness”. I was considered the worst off of them all, was told I had no choice but to wind up losing everything and everyone I loved and sitting in a long-term state psychiatric facility until the end of my days. I had been originally diagnosed with depression; after being placed on an antidepressant, I started hallucinating almost immediately, which led to them claiming I was even more ill than originally thought and placed on anti-psychotics. This cycle repeated itself for years. I was given every psychiatric label under the sun at one time or another, because every label led to different drugs and each new drug led to a new symptom which led to a new label. Every time I accused them of not knowing what the hell they were doing, or said I suspected that the drugs were making me worse, they would take that as a sign of my sickness and up my dosage. I am not proud to admit that there are pictures of me taken where I am sitting on the couch with a blank expression on my face, practically drooling on myself. And to think, as a teenager I had tested at Einstein – level IQ! And now, I couldn’t even hold a conversation.
Eventually I was labeled as “treatment-resistant” (Yep, when all their drugs failed me, they had the nerve to say it was MY fault, not theirs), they started up the electroshocks (I refuse to call them by their doublespeak version, ect. I call things what they are). Over a year of regular shocks. I was almost a vegetable. It’s been three years since I stopped those. My IQ is still lowered. My memory is still riddled with countless holes, and I must unfortunately rely on others for much of my past, never really knowing if they’re just painting it differently so they emerge in a more positive light. There are many things I knew how to do that have been wiped from my brain, and I find it difficult to learn or relearn things.
A year after the ECT, I went off my meds. I’d had it. I suffered the withdrawals for months. Shortly afterward, I started the grieving process. Grieving for the years I had ripped from me, the countless days, weeks, and months that had been stolen from me, grieving for what could have been. Grieving for the fact that if only, a so-called “mental health professional” could recognize my “depression” for what it was (a reaction to getting married to a man who was just entering the military, moving far away from the place I was born and all my family and friends, and being young, lacking some coping skills, and having some growing up to do), then maybe I would have been given some counseling, some social services, access to support groups, and access to services which help spouses make the adjustment to life being “married to the military”… and maybe everything would have turned out much, much different.
Instead, I was given drugs. And I will never know the answer to my “what ifs”.
For the record, I have now been married almost 8 years, I have 2 children and a third on the way, and I no longer hallucinate, go through wild mood swings or panic attacks, or feel suicidal. In fact, a lot of people don’t even believe my story at first, because they’ve all been properly trained that “once mentally ill, always mentally ill”. It’s not until my husband backs up my story that they believe me. I am not a person who wanders the streets with my pants off, trying to tell everyone that Jesus lives in my magical toaster, like they tried to frighten me into thinking I would be. I seem perfectly “normal”, albeit a bit absent-minded. I was told I had a chemical imbalance, that I was doomed to “treatment” for the rest of my life, that it was take their drugs or die.
They lied to me.
They’re lying to a lot of other people, too.
And I know a lot of people are gonna snark that I’m “killing” People with my dangerous, radical views, but you know what? I’ve known people who died because of these damn drugs. I even knew one woman who started taking antidepressants to help her sleep (she had no diagnosis of depression, or indication of it), and 11 days after she started those pills, she committed suicide… then I had to listen as everyone sobbed that they had “no clue she was depressed, but the doctor said she was on antidepressants, so she must have been very, very depressed!”… even though the warning label says they can cause a person to become suicidal.
They almost killed me.
My life was spared because I got off those pills.
Almost nobody needs them, and even fewer need them life-long. The fact that they’ve somehow become the first line of treatment, and usually the ONLY line, based entirely on poor, pseudoscientific evidence (or lack thereof), should set off warning signals. The fact that suicides, mass murders, and the like are on the rise, and a disproportionate number of those are committed by people on psychiatric drugs, should set off warning signals. The fact that we now have a “mental health emergency”, but they keep assuring that “help is available” shows that they have been HORRIBLY UNSUCCESSFUL in their efforts to help.
Forgive me, but I have lost literally all faith in this system. They didn’t help me, nor did I ever even want their help. I don’t trust a word of what they say anymore.
Hi Shelly,
I would like to speak with you. Can you please send me an email. Jpdatto@gmail.com thanks
This is actually kind of what happened to my friend. She was diagnosed Bipolar at the age of 16 but, in reality, she had a developing ED, which messed with her moods because she wasn’t getting the right nutrients in her body, and a developing Frontal Lobe (which make all teenagers a bit “crazy”). They pumped her with anti-depressants (thought she was depressed at first) which only made her “hyper” and hallucinate so then they put her on anti-psychotics, saying she has Bipolar 2 (not sure whyyyy they didn’t give her lithium which is proven effective in 90% of Bipolar cases, they went straight to an anti-psychotic). She wasn’t suicidal until they kept changing all of her medications and telling her she would never be able to live on her own, control her own life, etc. Now, years later, she’s off the meds and she can’t even describe how much better she feels. She’s not thought of suicide once and hasn’t had any form of mood swing since she got her diet on track.
It’s just sad to see people getting misdiagnoed and over diagnosed left and right… And I hate that medication is the go-to answer before CBT and talk therapy in order to get to the root cause of the problem.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
A short story about a boy, that it’s not me.
I. Getting up and down from planes.
I have crossed the skies, so many times this year. Buckled up to many plane seats, just to seek for a bit shelter, adventure, love and myself. I did find adventure and some clues about myself. About love and shelter… I gotta keep on looking.
You should know first, about the radical change in my persona. So I will explain a bit.
II. Prelude for a troubled mind.
Not so long time ago… I was drowning in the deep and dark waters of confusion and self-loathing. I totally fucked it up, I mean my whole entire life. I spent so many nights and many days looking out of the window, waiting for something to happen. Anything just for a change. While those days passed, my hopes passed away too.
I discovered the magical world of the drugs, a place so cool that is reserved only for those with true grit. My associates and I were chock full of that.
It was around christmas eve two years ago when it all started. A long time relationship with a cute girl I used to love came to and end. That christmas night, I changed. Suffered from a terrible mood swing and instead of feeling sad, I felt really damn good. By that time I could have never believed that I am Bipolar.
All I wanted was to party all year long, get drunk, get high, get laid, drive drunk in some kind of speed frenzy, drug boosted imaginary race. I should have known, that was the first warning, I was becoming crazy.
I really messed up, when started mixing booze with benzos. It was truly a disgraceful thing to do. I lost all connection with the “real” world and created a world for myself, with my very own rules. The real problem started when I believed my own shit. I created a different persona, some hybrid between the classiest members of rock and roll’s most infamous club. The “27 Club” and the agressive lifestyle of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, all mixed up in a rare creature: Me.
All my heroes were already dead, but their legacy was still rocking, every verse Jim sung or every adventure with Dr. Gonzo; driving convertibles at top speed in the desert drinking singapore slings with mezcal on the side. All my heroes were immortal. I knew by that time, the only way to achieve eternal life was to prove to myself and the world how truly mortal I was by dying.
Elaborated an incredible and complex plan to achieve immortality. So I became a crazed up journalist (nom de guerre: Banger) and enlisted myself in some of the most particular stories I was able to cover. When it all was a cheap excuse to consume heinous drugs during my trips. From getting high in millenary mayan ruins, to break into very old theaters in the east side of the country. All in the sake of journalism, fake journalism and racing thoughts.
III. Manic-Depression, car crash and rehab at the five star room.
The day I got out of benzos, I was broke and there was this new law on regulating prescription drugs and my easily accesible over the counter pills times, were over. Desperate I convinced everyone around me that I was suffering from anxiety and needed to go to the shrink. All this, without knowing that subconsciously, I was asking for help.
I faked all the symptoms that my ill minded ex girlfriend once had. My goal, was to get Klonazepam. Somehow, I did convinced the doctor and got in my hands a beautiful, all shiny, brand new, hundred pills bottle, plus antidepressants bonus. I was sweetly and entirely out of control.
Amazed about the higher quality of this narcotics. I noticed how easily they dissolved under my tongue and began to eat the klonies just like candies. Taking up to four or five pills at the same time every thirty minutes, when normal people take half a pill and they sleep all day long or die. Those only got me with a feeling of numbness in my face and my hands; and it usually disappeared a few minutes later.
It was by that time too, when I got hooked on booze. Mojitos, tom collins, cuba libre; you name it, I drank it. But my favorite above all of them always was fine whisky. With expensive tags on the bottle’s neck. I mean, have you ever tried benzos with scotch on the rocks? Dammit, what a fucking thrill! Even after, I drank all the expensive whisky in my dad’s personal collection of booze; anything with ethanol was enough to do the trick. I knew there was something wrong about me; and I felt ashamed to be stupidly drunk at my sister’s birthday. The skin from my hands started to peel off, I was all shaky and soaking wet in sweat. They really got worried (my family).
So… I started skipping college, drinking more and driving faster, getting higher, cutting deeper. One day, I got this story to cover on the east side of the country. It was essential for my work to get hold of a fast car, absolutely NOT take the group bus, buy a huge bag of weed, a bunch of crappy benzos and finally some hard liquour. Driving all the way, drunk, stoned; just like the good person I am.
Getting the car, the liquour and the crappy benzos was quite easy. Getting the weed was a bit more difficult, but I made some calls to some people who knows other people, who knows other people and it goes and goes that way. Even I got it delivered at my own car. So everything was ready with the exception of myself.
A few minutes later, I smashed my car to someone’s house. The car was all wrecked, I severely damaged my left hand and my associate got hurt in the eye because of the airbag explosion. That was the wake up call for everbody.
I got rid of the drugs in case the cops showed up. Mom and Dad got to the rescue. They knew it, I could see it in their eyes, but they could still not believe it yet. My associate got his eye fixed in a very short period of time and the doctor said, I had to use a cast on my left arm.
“Just the cast for a few months, plus the therapy to get back the movement of your hand.” -The doctor said.
I still remember how I liked my old red cast… My sponsors (Mom and Dad) warned me about having some very serious conversations, but actually nothing didn’t happen, I was sleeping in my room most of the time. Without talking, seeing, hearing, feeling in the darkness of my old room.
That very same night, I got really high and really drunk. Smoked and drinked everything I had near me. A bottle of 1800 and some rum Zacapa ice cold. It was until next morning, when Mommy and Daddy found me in the couch passed out, with my body entirely painted in red. A mixture of red marker and blood stains from the manic self-cutting. I had written some girl’s name on my chest, I draw the lines were to cut; and wrote many senseless words everywhere I could. There was this jar full of weed, a pipe, pills, razorblades and my computer, with first aid information. Wicked…
That day we all remain silent. We went to eat out some gourmet sandwiches. In the afternoon of what it was just like any other day of march; they took me to the hospital, after I ate half bottle of pills.
“I am going to go to rehab.” – I knew.
They said that my entrance to the hospital was quite memorable, wearing my spanish sunglasses, dancing with my arms stretched, humming old folk songs. I even tried to smuggle some pills, but they found my not so secret stash.
Those ten days felt like an eternity. I wasn’t so great anymore, actually I was spiralling down into a deep depression. Then mania. And then depression. And mania again and it goes that way, for some time. They locked my windows, I wasn’t available for visitors, knives, lighters and people who wears hats at night, just because.
I have very few memories about that time. I remember, there was this recurrent entity who visited me every day. She loved to run in circles around my bed. Everything was blurry and numb. I actually spent entire days with all the lights off, wearing my sunglasses. Sitting in the dark, just not being me. I was so scared.
I could not sleep by myself. So they had to give me several doses of sedatives just to calm me down.
Here’s a short letter I wrote to myself, when I was back there in the room 201:
———————————————————————————
Five Starr Prison
“Prisoner is on the five star room”
03/27/11 – 22:03
Three generations sitting in one room, while having a chat about life and death suddenly ther started throwing knives to each otherr, burning old memories, photos. Writing each other ‘hate letters’, that no one will ever read. Sheets of paper turned into angry gestures, of keeping to read to yourself at night.
The three men concluded that waking up in the morning with th perfect woman by their side admiring her morning beauty, you know without and all that crap. She might not believe ever about how pretty she looks in the morning, these sincere words, never taken seriously laying by having a little sample of a women scent, love. The three men concluded that you may want something and not get it or get it and have to face the loose of this thing. Buddha’s words not mine. By that time there scotch enough scotch, the two men stood up and went home.
‘”Paradise resides in our best memories” – I was thinking one of mine, this recurrent mantra on my psyche trying to guide mantra me to give the best of my character today. Also there’s a charming and manipulative demon with equal whit the eloquence of a prince and depravation of s dolomite. Usually whispered in dude can wet much higher.
“Forever?” – She asked.
“Ever and ever, till the end of times” I replied. Sadly didn’t went that way.
Lots of things happened in the middle. I prefer to no talk about it.
Then my mind starts to over think, drugs coming, taking control and then! I’m on rehab on some place i don;t which it is people crayon, try to figure what happened later. the and there weren’t tanned two individuals never went to the 201. Now i want a cigarette my sat generations were dumb as me whith the exception of the echo i really care. sitting those other two gentlemen who i was talkin with next to me. I’m the only one in the room, a hospital room, walk in circles while i approach to this mirror and see this transformation from men to a maddest in a matter of seconds, scared me to the shit.
Beasts? Might sound inappropriate you know, thats what substances turn you into, wild outlaws with thirst of greatness. Well, the same breed of yours. Dangerously in love like snakes and apples.
All that thinking let me to this question; do we deserve this?
Live the day they say… honestly I think that’s bullshit some kind of shit.
Goodbye.
———————————————————————————
IV. Coming back to life, with a little help from my friend: Echo.
I remember, all this situation was very difficult for everyone who loved me. (Yes, there was people who showed me real love) But I guess, it was specially difficult for my Dad (He’s a medical doctor). It has to be! Put yourself on his shoes; a healer who doesn’t know how to heal his very own blood.
With a little help from an old photograph, a very old polaroid and words that could only could be spoken in songs, wrote by those false heroes I used to have. He managed to crack the thin ice that was still holding me. Somehow we both broke down to tears and finally. We were staring at the same shining sun.
There were many late night walks in the hospital halls, conversations that created really strong bonds. And I started to feel safe. Then I was out of the hospital. I returned to my old life; but I didn’t really remembered anything about those things I did on the mood swing. It was difficult to sleep, to concentrate on things, I was agressive, and not very considerate with those around me. I must credit my family for bringing me back to the “real” world.
After the hospital… I was never the same again. Not bad, not good either, but just never the same…
V. Hoffmann’s potion and the sudden smell of the flowers.
I needed vacations from this grotesque world. This time with pure intentions, I was starting a travel of healing. A very deep connection with the universe; that I achieved that incredibly long night. With the proper chemicals and the correct set and setting, I smiled again; for the first time in a very, very, long long time.
Travelled to the Caribbean, Europe, the north, the south, the middle, left, right, up and down. Everywhere I went, was fresh new to me. No more harsh memories. I was sort of feeling happy.
A year have passed. I’m still sort of a mess, but yet a better mess than ever before. I moved from motherland to a place where I thought; I could find the missing piece of life’s puzzle. Discovered that I only needed to walk everywhere I wanted to go, always wear sunscreen, listen to moody folk songs and to never stop my seek for shelter.
“I’m still looking for that special something.”
– E
For the first 18 years of my life I was free to be me.I had high levels of expectations for my life based on my intelligence , genius level IQ tested in high school. I wrote poetry, I worked at part time jobs from the age of 13. I was chosen for a cultural exchange program to North Africa. I felt really good about myself and my prospects for success in life, Then I had a broken engagement of marriage and got terribly depressed. The psychiatrist diagnosed me as having bipolar disorder without ever having experienced a manic episode. I was put on lithium given one shock treatment and released after one month and went to work at that same hospital as a psychiatric geriatric nursing attendant. I was socially active being in many committees and and organizations. For several years I forgot about my diagnosis and just complied with medication and three month intervals of blood tests to check my lithium levels. I had no awareness of mania and didn’t even research it or consider its implications in my diagnosis. To me all that bipolar disorder meant was take lithium and you won’t get depressed. Not a clue of the other side of the diagnosis because I had never experienced it . I went on to nursing school and quit because my marks weren’t high enough. I wasn’t achieving my standards of what was acceptable. I highly valued my intelligence so I went to university to obtain my teachers license since that was the career I had intended since early high school. I moved away from my home province to a large city and worked two jobs on campus to pay my way . That was when I first met madam mania with psychosis, delusions and paranoia. My whole world collapsed. I was hospitalized put in a straight jacket thrown into a rubber room and given medication that seemed like fire in my veins. I remember thinking. I am 30 years old and I have to start all over again. I cycled into depression, came out of it went back to university and finished my Bachelor of Arts degree and almost finished my Bachelor of Education degree but I cycled into depression again and had to quit. All this time I was medication compliant and thought I was protected from depression and mania with the use of lithium and a small amount of risperidone. I didn’t do any research on my condition which was ironic because I considered myself so highly intelligent. I relied on the psychiatrists to tell me what I needed to take to be well.After several years of taking it , the lithium fog descended on my brain or else depression broke through the protective barrier that lithium is supposed to provide, I stopped taking meds, stopped going to doctors experienced pains all over my body, had nightmares that I couldn’t wake up from and cycled up into mania within a few months. After that I spent my life in low to moderate depression went back on lithium and never pursued my academic goals and had only sporadic moments of happiness or joy in my entire life. Can;t was my opperative word and disabled was my label. So in what way did lithium treatment really help me. In what way did relying on psychiatrists to fix me . Lithium made me sluggish and fat percipitated kidney disease which in turn triggered diabetes..Psychiatrist said what can we do you are a danger to society and yourself without it. So in moments of lifted depression I began studying alternative methods of lifting depression. I got into meditation, self awareness. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and music therapy all by computer and no psychiatric therapy counselling or doctors visits. It is a radical approach to wellness by North American Medical standards but it is my way of attempting to live with enjoyment and peace. I am now 61 years of age and can and will have become my opperant words and each day begins with meditation instead of medication and I have hope and I don’t believe anybody who tells me it won.t work , can’t happen, gonna fall back into illness. Each day without depression is a blessing and not experiencing delusions of grandeur and being angry at everyone and everything and exploring new ways to express my creativity and new ways to remain positive and new ways to heal my body mind and spirit. I have a long way to go and much to learn but I have decided that I am my own best teacher and the only one living my life.
I have been looking for information about being bipolar and med free, and came across this blog/comments section. I have chosen to do ECT because of the ineffectiveness of the medication for me over the last 8 years. I can truly say I have been living in hell for the last 8 years because of medication. I have many EPS/Parkinsonian symptoms and have actually had an allergic reaction to a medication. Now they are reluctant to prescribe certain classes of meds because irregardless of the name, many of the drugs have the same mechanism of action hence the group classes of drugs. I have permanent changes from meds that will never come back so the decision to do ECT was not done lightly. However, I do not plan to take any further meds post ECT whether it works or not. This is probably one of the most relieving decisions I have ever made. That’s because it’s my decision. I’ve only come to realize this is my life. I’m the one who has to live it and I’d like to try and live it to the best of my ability and that is not with medication. Having the inability to talk, walk, or inappropriate eye movements due to medication is not quality of life. Gaining 150 lb putting you at risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid and kidney problems, while eating right and working out, losing memory and ability to concentrate is not quality of life. I worked as a nurse in the trauma, ER, and ICU and quality of life was always substituted for feeling better. This is not for me. I am at peace with never feeling 100% better, I am at peace with living with Bipolar, and doing ECT is my beginning to using med free treatments for my illness. I’m not sure who said this but it is the quote that has been going through my head quite a bit lately…”You should stop waiting for the storm to pass and learn how to dance in the rain”. I’m going try to dance in the rain. For some reason that thought makes me feel good, reassured, strong. This is truly what I’ve wanted to learn because it makes me feel at peace just thinking about it.
In November 2015 I will have been off all medications for 4 years for a severe case of bipolar disorder after struggling for 7 years off and on lithium and abilify. In the last four years I’ve lost 70 pounds and have finished 3 full marathons and a full Ironman competition in Houston, TX in May 2015. I also qualified for The 2016 Boston Marathon last November at Philadelphia and am crossing my fingers that my registration goes through on September 21st as I qualified by 4 and a half minutes.
I’m also a songwriter and have written and recorded over 600 songs, all originals, in the last 3 and a half years that can all be found on http://www.johnnychild.bandcamp.com
I’m on this earth to tell people they can live free of medication for bipolar disorder but it is extremely difficult, like Ironman training level of focus every single day not just on physical health but mentally as well. Accept that you will have to give up alcohol use and substance use forever and the road to recovery begins. I’ve been sober since June 2011, off meds since November 2011, and started my first day of a life committed to exercise on December 2nd, 2011.
The possibility is real
I’m proof of that
But it’s extremely hard
Answer the call responsibly.
James Bailey,
I admire you for your courage and the faith in yourself. It can be difficult, but not all days até black or white. With patience and discipline you can learn to live the greys with control and hope. God bless you, may Be gives you strength and bigger faith.
Try medical marijuana. It works wonders as far as controlling anxiety and mood swings, without the toxic side effects of psychiatric medication
Hi,
I am recently diagnosis with Bipolar type 1 mania with psychosis, and panic disorder within the past 6 months. I am a 37 year old male. I am on many mood stabilizer medication, and Xanax, for the panic attacks. I ‘m considering going med free because I feel I am recovering quickly and my mood has been stable. The only thing happening to me regularly are the panic attacks. I ‘m going to use the Xanax, for my panic attacks. My attacks last for hours at a time or minutes and I haven’t found a trigger point for the panic attacks. The attacks have been happening when I am at work. My only concern by going medication free with the mood stabilizers, will I have any side effects and have any episodes? I am being monitored bi weekly by my psychologist. Has anyone been successful going medication free? I am going to try it for a couple of weeks as a trial, but nervous the same time because of the progress made. Thanks for reading … Mebane, North Carolina
Has anybody had access with bipolar disorder or not taking medicine I’ve tried them all and now I have drug induced lupus because of her medicine lost my job lost everything Dr wouldn’t even tell me about the side effects so has anybody ever had experience without medicine
Hi, I am a 53 year old woman,single parent of 3 children, bipolar type 1 (co-morbid conditions, ptsd and GAD)and have been medication free for exactly a year on Aug 13th. I have (on medication) attempted and nearly succeeded in killing myself (incubated for 3 days on life support) ive also had several manic phases which have, in varying degrees, come close to a psychotic break, and off course the torturous months of emptiness where life itself has no meaning or value, so I’ve definitely got the severe form of bipolar.
I don’t refuse to take medication, I chose to try and control my symptoms. The reason i’m posting this is to share with people who might be considering going drug free…….
I cannot begin to express how hard it is. How exhausting it is to monitor every thought, to constantly evaluate context and perception, and frame every action, every emotion, to ‘police’ myself and challenge my perceived internal reality, reject it and change it. I do it so I can be a mother (my youngest is only 15 so still living at home), go to work (I teach) and simply survive. But, I cannot attain true happiness, happiness is freedom and I am not free. I am not free to feel the amazing repertoire of emotion my mind can feel, as I am not brave enough to let go in case I cannot control the emotional surge, cannot reign it in, it is like a drug I am afraid to take because I know its bad for me. I’m not writing this to put people off, or say don’t do it, but, doing it may not be the answer you are looking for.
I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar (Unspecified) around the age of 12 and was being prescribed with many medications for depression and ADD prior to the diagnosis. A couple of years ago I simply had enough of my veins being pricked by needles for monitoring, and the side effects of Lithium (being slightly nauseated, dizziness, feeling a bit weak, as well, I seemed to experience far greater memory loss than usual.) I gradually weened myself off of the Litium and for a few months I had several outbursts. I have been off of any type of medication excluding the odd pain killer when my knee flares up for approximately 2 years now. The worst I have gotten was throwing a chair whilst enraged, that was last year. Since then I’ve found ways to ventilate my rage through ways of creative writing, First Person Shooter or Puzzle video games, or working out. I rarely meditate, however I’d recommend it .
I’ll be the first one to admit, it’s hard to do so, but stopping yourself and taking a few deep breaths when you feel yourself about to freak out over something does help slightly. I see it as this. It is my mind, I am in control. It may take a while for me to do so, but I will learn to combat my illness.
I have bipolar disorder and am meds free. I’m 48 and a trained counsellor. I am in the final year of a BA (Hons) degree (it’s taken me this long to get this far!) and I’m looking for one more participant to take part in a 45 min interview on being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please excuse my approach but I wondered if you would be interested. I have recently interviewed another member who posted on here who’s story I found inspiring. If you would like to contact me for more information, please email me at terribuckingham@outlook.com. Best wishes :-)
I have a son 27 years old and has been living with bipolar depression with schitzoaffective disorder for the last 5 years and tryed so many meds which he had side effects from all of them…he hasnt been on anything for awhile now and I am worried about his very intense thoughts on this world and why god allows this suffering etc. I appreciate reading the comments on this site. Hopefully we can have some kind of break thru in the treatment of mental illness. Good luck to you all, God bless
I’m not bipolar (depressed rather) but my aunt had bipolar I with multiple hospitalizations, suicide attempt, psychosis, the works. She had a long journey but she has been off medication for over 20 years. She first went off them when trying to get pregnant as some of the interfere with the ability to get pregnant. Overall she has said thinking of yourself–your whole self- in medical terms is overall detrimental to sense of self. I in no way encourage people to get off medications if those medications are helpful or they are in crisis but I object to these blanket statement by supposed experts. The fact is the so-called standard for bipolar have been around for less tha. 100 years so people have been going without meds a long time. And unfortunately the meds we do have don’t work as well as we would like. What is needed is a sense of self and medications cannot provide that. Not can they provide social support, a sense or purpose, love or community. All these things may be just as important or more important for recovery than meds.
I won’t go off meds because of how closely I’d have to be monitored. But I’m not sure how I would do without meds. It’s stressful enough being a mom medicated; I can’t imagine being unmedicated. Luckily, I take rather mild meds with no major side effects (or I’m used to them :). I believe people can function without medication to a certain degree if their bipolar is mild or they live a low stress lifestyle. But you’d have to work with counselors and psychiatrists closely.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2 three years ago after an event. I’m one of the few people that decided to do it without medication. I have had every type of medication but due to my physical heath issues they played havoc with my health. I am medicine sensitive. I’m having all sorts of different therapies at the moment to manage my bipolar. Bipolar is a very difficult thing to live with, and there are times when I want nothing more than to take medication to stabilize my mood. I just decided I couldn’t cope with more medication. So for me it was a very personal choice. it’s not right for everyone . But whatever people’s choice is I think you do what’s best for you.
I’m medication resistant after 32 years of treatment. Recently my Dr prescribed me medical marijuana probably as a last ditch treatment effort. So far I’m loving it. This is the most mellow and happy I’ve ever been. It’s only been a month so far, so I’ll keep everyone up dated on how it goes.
@Stevie Nicks, I get where you are coming from but it seems ironic that you say no two people with Bipolar are the same yet you are criticising others when you yourself can’t relate to what they’re going through. Though you are right in saying that @Joseph Earl is wrong in thinking that mania is ‘a good time to grow’ seeing as sane, productive thinking isn’t possible in Mania and @Joseph Earl seems to be thinking of Hypomania. Bipolar 2 and Cyclothymia are more manageable than Bipolar 1 or Rapid Cycling without treatment but it is no way a cure or ‘stops’ the symptoms. It ranges in severity, how would you feel if I said I know people who have it worse than you do? It’s inconsiderate to assume someone doesn’t have it just because they aren’t as dependant on medication as others. Some people can go months or years without having a Manic episode whereas others risk going straight into one the moment they stop taking medication. It’s fair to say that medication isn’t risk-free either, it blocks the most severe aspects of the polar opposites but people can still have mood swings, experience depression and elation despite taking their meds.In all mental illnesses and disorders there are two types ‘high-functioning’ and ‘low functioning’ in everything from Bipolar to Autism to Schizophrenia, so someone who can manage their illness somewhat without medication is likely to be high-functioning. One of my best friends has Paranoid Schizophrenia, yet hasn’t taken medication in years and is doing very well without them. It hasn’t stopped his symptoms but through therapy and his own research he’s stable to the point where some days he has been hallucinating when he is with me and I wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t of told me. Ironically I didn’t have my first break from reality till I was put on anti-depressants, 20mg of Citalopram seeing as the doctor thought it was weird that someone was trying to help themselves, I understand maybe he didn’t want to put me on a cocktail straight away as I was only 17 at the time and I’ve heard getting a correct diagnosis and medication plan can take years. I’d describe the Mania or Psychosis I went through due to the anti-depressants as absolutely terrifying and although the hallucinations stopped a few days after, I experienced intense paranoia and anxiety with paranoid delusions and didn’t leave the house for a month. I haven’t taken medication since, though I will admit to self medicating with cannabis (not recommending that for anyone, as I’m convinced it caused me to develop severe Social Anxiety/Phobia aswell) but in the long term it led to addiction, paranoia and intensified anxiety. I only managed to quit after bankrupting myself because of it. Though I think it is a fair heads up if anyone is considering medical marijuana as a viable treatment. The human mind and construct of the brain is an incredible thing and your whole life perspective and reaction to events and occurrences is influenced based on how your own brain is functioning. Someone having slightly more or less of a chemical can cause drastic changes to every part of that function and that is why no two people with the same disorder/illness are the same. I’m sorry if this seems like a rant or I’m picking on people, but it annoys me that we’re bickering amongst ourselves when we’re the best people to try and help each other, a psychiatrist or a doctor are merely observers (though well learned observers) yet they in most cases, unless they have a disorder themselves cannot fully relate to the living hell it can be and can only help you understand and give you the means to treat it. Medication and therapy are only part of treating it, but you yourself have to want to fight it to give it maximum effectiveness.
”’How would you feel if I said someone has it worse than you?” Nothing. I already know that. ”’@Joseph Earl seems to be thinking.””…
..unless you’re he, you don’t know what he’s thinking.
“In all mental illnesses there are two types ”high functioning” and ”low functioning” Wha??
There’s 50 shades of grey in ALL of the mentally ill. —ALL.
No you don’t sound like you’re ranting, just venting. Yes, It does seem like we pick at each other (too much) on forums trying to dispute the others claims. I’m here trying to learn, and I need the company of the insanes also.
I’ve heard your information a thousand different ways and times and that’s ok b/c maybe someone else hasn’t.
I’m a firm believer in medical marijuana. If it helps you; it’s a shame it’s not legal everywhere Sadly, It just makes me freak out. If crack cocaine or oxycodone (etc) were legal, I’d take either on a regular basis if they’d make me feel better when I’m crazy. It’s very tempting, but, I just don’t want to sit in another cell, –of another kind.
NO doctor -imo- can never, EVER understand what this illness really feels like unless he/she has it themselves.
My own psychatrist, many times, has said, he doesn’t think I have it, b/c I don’t meet all of the criteria. hahahhhaahhaa
Where does that leave me? Purgatory?
”You have to want to fight it to give it maximum effectiveness.”
No. I don’t feel that ”fighting it” is anyway to conquer this crappy illness, either.
I’d rather ”lean into it” … rather like greiving, It can’t be outrun anyway.
I have to take each day, and take each moment one at a time, as each day is different with my mood; as is each moment for some of us.
@stevie nicks, are you a doctor? I have not just bounced back, I am still in a crushing depression. I don’t know what makes you so sure from that one statement that I could not have bipolar. That’s pretty insensitive. I have had many grandiose manias and many more mixed states. Not just depressions. It’s pretty rude to suggest that maybe I’m just a drunk also, thanks. I wasn’t even talking about alcohol in terms of sobriety. Again another assumption on your part. I would invite you to live in my head for a while and then tell me I “couldn’t” have bipolar and that I couldn’t possibly find trying no meds better than the decade of hell I went through taking them. I am highly sensitive to most available bipolar meds, so I can’t just change which ones I take. The one combination of meds I could tolerate, didn’t work and had terrible consequences for me. Just because I have never become psychotic and have stayed out of the hospital, and stopped planning to kill myself does not tell you anything. Maybe your medical opinion stinks like your way of dumping on me.
No, I’m not a doctor, but if you have bipolar and do not take meds sooner or later, or feel well when you dont take them, then it’s a bipolar I’ve never heard of. I’m not rude. I never said ”you’re a drunk”. That’s unkind. Being an alcoholic is a disease also. If one has it, -then they have another illness. How was I to know, in what terms you were speaking of re: your alcohol intake? You worded it as if it caused a big problem for you. If there were no bipolar meds that were helping you, as you stated, then it’s possible that you don’t have bipolar, isn’t it?
If you’ve never become psychotic, ok (never heard of a bipolar person never having had a psychotic intermission) but ok.. you haven’t- fine, if you’ve never been hospitalized fine.
But if you have stopped planning to kill yourself…that tells me a lot. It tells me you were trying to kill yourself at one time or many. Not fine.
Maybe you had better take another hard look at what you really have. Bipolar symptoms just don’t disapear.
Or maybe I’ve just hit a nerve.
“Bipolar symptoms just don’t disappear.”… uhm, some do and yes, some return…
Bipolar is Bipolar and mental illness is mental illness. Schizophrenia appears to be a given, but all the others seem to be murky, at best.
I live with Bipolar. I am in the midst of a depressive episode, as we speak. I just came out of a bad “mixer”, in that I struggle more with mixed episodes than single cycles.. as I did when younger.
Now, I am also considered “high functioning”. I’ve been told this, several times, over the years. I often know long beforehand if something is just not right in “whoville” instead of someone who dwells within the Bipolar haze 24/7/365.
It is a injustice, by the way, to be “high functioning”. Because the shrinks and their associates do not necessarily grasp the situation clearly when I am “low functioning” to me.
“oh, you can ride this one out. You’ve done such an amazing job all this time keeping yourself in check.”… I am squirrely or I am seeing blood pouring down a bathroom drain and you just don’t grasp it, do you?
I hold a job, for long periods of time. I pay my bills, though often in catch up mode especially when right after a manic cycle. I raised my daughter, fairly much on my very own. I care for my own home, when not in a depressive episode and I inadvertently have things slide for a while (I use my hypomanic periods, just before the mixer and/or switch.. to clean clean clean).
I am also aware, more times than not, of what episode I may be in.. even while hallucinating, be it auditory or visual and this is the kicker… I see and hear what is not there and I do realize that I’m seeing and hearing what is not there, because I can question it’s validity MORE times than not.. but as I tell the shrinks and their associates “It doesn’t mean I don’t see or hear” blah blah and not disturbed by it. (I get raised eyebrows at this, often times and then find they’ve labelled my symptom report as “psychotic disturbance”).
Thing is: Your Bipolar is not my Bipolar and my Bipolar is not your Bipolar… our Bipolars are not the same as Natasha’s Bipolar. Natasha’s Bipolar is not the same as our’s.. and… thus is the murkiness of Bipolar.
Some years back; psychosis wasn’t even considered a part of “soft Bipolar”. If you had psychotic symptoms, you could not have Bipolar II, was the consensus. WRONG. You can have Bipolar II and have psychotic depression as easily as psychotic hypo/mania.
Not all with Bipolar have psychotic symptoms, by the way. Not all with Bipolar have delusions, hypersexuality, etc..
See how the shrinks and their associates can just mix and match as they deem fit?… because there is NO MEDICAL diagnostic tool to determine. It’s word of mouth and behavior exhibited, from the patient and/or law enforcement and/or educational representative and/or family and friends.
In addition; having worked within the MH/SA world for some time now and though NOT a clinician (administrative).. I’ve sat in 1000s of “team meetings” to discuss cases and I can tell you that you can be diagnosed with Schizophrenia one minute and a year or 2 later, another psych gets hold of you and you suddenly have Bipolar with no Schizophrenia manifested.
I finally asked one day, how one can be diagnosed with Schizophrenia but then 1-2 years later get Bipolar?
Because, I was told, if the patient had been faithful with his/her’s medication regimen.. the meds can often damp down and cause more of a presentation of Bipolar than Schizophrenia… or, in the case of one forensic psychiatrist of many many years “in my professional opinion, they do not exhibit Schizophrenic symptomatology and therefore, do not have Schizophrenia but moreso, Bipolar with Psychotic Symptoms.”
Okie dokie…. so, the dude was mis-diagnosed and placed on a plethora of Schizo meds for some years? “Well, the meds are used for a variety of mental illnesses.”
no truer words…
I am also one of a small % of the population that simply do not biologically handle chemicals; be they environmental (allergens) or pharmaceutical… well. Even OTC cold medicine can affect me in odd ways (I have to be careful).
So, what is baby for most may be too high for my system. Most docs do not want to take the time to work with me through this and label me as med non-compliant. I’ve been lucky, a few times, to have pdocs that have recognized my intolerance as what it is. This means; not all meds have a effect on me or I can handle just any med.
Finally, I’m not sorry to say that I’d rather have the depressive episode than to have my arms jerk spastically or my tongue swing to and fro within my mouth WHILE still experiencing some symptoms of depression or mixed mania.. even while on the dang meds.
I did not intentionally block the ability to reply to my post that was an accident.
The “broad strokes” painting of this condition was meant to address the characteristics that are common to all people that have the condition. There are according to the DSM( the cookbook of symptoms that therapist use to identify the condition in practice) consistent features of this condition. If people are diagnosed with the condition then they either share these features or have been seen by incompetent therapists, which there are many.
The credentials you are right I do not technically have the credentials to counsel others with this condition. However there are a large number of people with bachelor degrees working in the social work field counseling those with mental illness under the name of case management. This is paid for by Medicaid, if you don’t feel those people are qualified then that is a criticism of government policy. As for differentiating severities of depression I advocated for those that can’t get out of bed to receive the most intensive care possible. Cases that are obviously more severe I.e., those that lead to attempts at suicide should recieve a proportionate response.
I present my advice about the condition with a grain of salt in both post. Initially you stated that my advice was too absolute. I respond by further qualifying it, but not changing the message and I am over generalizing the condition. Obviously there is a great deal of variability in the condition. Each individual is responsible for deciding what they will believe, someone who advocates absolutes on an issue as multifaceted on the need for medication lacks discretion. If they are willing to say that everyone needs medication with no caveat then they are bold unjustly.
What I observe is that in searching on google “bipolar without medications” this is one of the first results. I assume then that at least some people here have arrived by that means, and are curious to find information about living without medication. I tell my story as evidence that it can be done, if for whatever reason the person does not wish to take medication. I know that some people will always need medication but I also know that some people can live a fulfilling life without it. My tale is not woe is me. I said that I suffer a great deal from this condition as anyone who has it would surely attest to, but I also state that certain aspects of the condition have some positives to them, and that it doesn’t have to be debilitating. What in that message is wrong? What particulars of the argument do you find to be inaccurate? Your opposition seems to be with
“Not every person who has this condition will need medication forever”. It seems every other criticism is a broad response to points that you haven’t accurately depicted in your rebuttals. If this idea is that displeasing to you, then clearly you don’t have the same side effects of the medications that I did, and are willing to take them. Well good for you, I wish you luck.
”It” doesn’t have to be dibilitating? What doesn’t? Bipolar? Or is it in just the good times in between it gives you, that you don’t need meds.. That’s what’s wrong. Bipolar HAS to be dibilitating….or we wouldn’t need meds for it.
“what I observe is that in searching on google”….over 50% of the internet is BS.
Let that be something you consider. Skip that if you’re writing your thesis.
I certainly never know when a bad time is on the way -or a good time is coming. Nope. No warning whatsoever.
You advocate for ”those who cannot get out of bed to receive the most intensive care possible.” No you don’t. You’d have to have a icense for something as serious as that.
And a social worker is faaaar too inexperienced for handling this. A bone doctor isn’t equipt either.
We need psychiatrists, their knowledge, and the pills they pedal.
My rebuttal is that you’re back pedaling on your first post. Take care of you, and I wish you luck also.
I have bipolar 1 and have always been treatment resistant. Most medication either gives me wicked side effects or doesn’t work at all. At one point it was suggested I should consider electric shock . But I didn’t think permanent short term memory loss for only temporary relief was worth the trade off. Then finally the very last combination left for me to try zyrexa & Prozac has worked but only to a small degree, now I’m only mildly depressed. But what I wanted to bring up is this fischer Wallace device that I’ve read about. Anything is worth a try, the only reason I haven’t gotten one is because of the price tag. They also have an option to rent one. I to have suffered most of my life forcing myself to function medication free. It is possible to live off meds but its a miserable existence to say the least. Anyway if you can’t tolerate meds and your suffering you might want to give the Fischer Wallace device a shot. It’s better to waste money on something and have it not work then not try only to deprive yourself of the only thing that would have worked
I have also looked into the Fischer Wallace device when I first heard of it… it is pricey, OMG.
I too, am treatment resistant and yes… “I to have suffered most of my life forcing myself to function medication free. It is possible to live off meds but its a miserable existence to say the least.”
so much life’s energy given daily to just hope to see tomorrow’s sunrise…
and the continual attempts at medication and re-trials of medications once taken… to find little relief OR worsening/new psych symptoms created by the meds given for those symptoms you are trying to relieve… never mind the “medical” adverse reactions (the tongue swimming and lip puckering, along with the eyesight blurring.. just gets to me.. never mind the Diabetes created by the increased rate of blood sugar.. kidneys sputtering, etc..) and STILL bloody not be better…
I’ve also seriously considered ECT and have had a therapist or 2, along with a pdoc or 3, suggest a go at the ECT… time and again. I just can’t seem to agree to the potential and known adverse effects of the treatment.. to then have to go through them all again, at some point later because the meds – since the treatments ended – are no longer working, again.
BTW.. I don’t have to defend my Bipolar to anyone. Mine is not the same as another’s and that’s okay. Not all can handle meds and many need meds, whilst a few can actually get by – miserably perhaps – with only 1 or 2 or none at all.
I say, live and let live but when someone is so adamant about another’s situation NOT being really Bipolar or minimizing another’s situation with their form of the illness and how they choose to handle it… I get a bit riled.
Bipolar is not debilitating 24/7/365 and if you are on a med regimen that you say works.. and you are still “debilitated” then.. you may want those meds checked.. they aren’t helping you too much.
See.. the meds are to improve your quality of living and return you to some functional ability to handle and/or perform your daily living functions (or aka ADLs).
If you are taking those meds faithfully, believe in them with all your heart and spirit and still can’t seem to get out of the bed on most mornings due to the overwhelming depression or paralyzing anxiety (I have both, at times)… then your meds are NOT helping you with your ADLs.
With Bipolar.. you can have periods of stability. Granted some stability periods are longer for others, but, you can have those periods of time when you are stable.
If you experience any measurable time of stability.. then during that time of stability, you are not debilitated…
Oh and sug… not all psychiatrists are hip on Bipolar. I still have been to some that believe it perfectly okie dokie to feed someone with Bipolar, Anti-depressants.
I have met and worked with a few (psychs) that do not think too much of the Bipolar spectrum (those are the ones that have been practicing for a long long long while).. you either HAVE it (Bipolar I) or you don’t have Bipolar at all, type mentality.
Social workers/case managers may be too far inexperienced with handling Bipolar patients but social workers/case managers are the “boots on the ground” people that choose to work with those who have Bipolar, as well as other mental illnesses and often have a far greater insight as to a person’s somewhat daily symptom manifestations… than say the psychiatrist that sees the patient for 15 minutes every 3 months or so, or the therapist that sees them 1 hour every other week.
They often report to the psychs (if psych gets the records and communications) of how the patient really is functioning, any physical side effects they’ve noticed and how the patient can interrelate on any given day… this helps the psych figure the meds and the therapists figure the therapy treatment.
Psychs aren’t all swift, nor are therapists, nor are social workers/case managers… they can all get a degree but not all are skilled or more importantly comfortable, to handle.
I have advocated for patients receiving more care and I have no license or degree in anything. I am also neither a case manager or a social worker.
I’ve sat in meetings, week after week, with clinicians and psychiatrists and social workers/case managers and administrators… 1000s of those meetings spread over the many years… and every once in a while.. the little admin sitting on the chair at the corner of the conference room table (me).. would contribute.
Sometimes, they (the clinicians) agreed.
Advocacy is not diagnosing or prescribing… advocacy is informing.
Hello All — maybe I am getting too medication specific — am wondering if I can get some feedback from anyone who has had positive results from Pristiq — but because it is crazy expensive — has had to move on to other meds that are generic / much lower cost. I know we all have truly “individual” results and progress from different meds… but sometimes there are enough experiences out there to help steer the ship. Thanks in advance…
Hi Levon,
If you’re having a positive response to Pristiq, Effexor may work for you as they are almost the same drug and it has gone generic. Read this: https://natashatracy.com/medicationtype/antidepressant-comparison-pristiq-effexor/
Of course, it might not work as they are not exactly the same drug but it might be worth talking to your doctor about it.
– Natasha Tracy
I have bipolar disorder and live without medication and have for five years. At 18 I suffered from a psychotic break from reality and was forced to be hospitalized for two weeks then put on medication, depakote and zyprexa to be exact, I experienced the most terrible side effects and quit taking them 1 year after leaving the hospital. Three months later my inner world and the external world started to diverge in an even more severe way then it had before and I was back in the intensive care unit in the psych ward of a hospital with delusions hallucinations and all the usual side effects of mania with psychotic symptoms, negotiating my way out of long term commitment. I then started a round of new atypical antipsychotics, in this case geodon, I took those for one year as well, eventually suffering from the same side effects I went to see my psychiatrist and she put me on the medication sapphiris which had even less side effects, but still were not tolerable she agreed to continue to reduce them to the minimum therapeutic level, after 6 months I quit taking them entirely. Five years have passed now and I have not had a full blown manic episode, I have not had to be hospitalized, I am a high functioning member of society, have a successful professional life working in data science for a major cooperation, am married, have strong relationships with my family , and aside from being eccentric not viewed as a sufferer of mental illness by anyone who does not know my history. How then? If you are here it is because you at least somewhat share the same feelings about medication that I do, if you do not , and medication is not wrecking your life then more power to you, but if it is, then here is my advice. First always get a second opinion, third, fourth, fifth whatever is necessary. Psychiatry is not like any other field of medicine in that there is no precise consensus on the causes the prognosis or the most effective treatments. If you have been to multiple psychiatrists then this fact should be evident. Second education is essential, and education is not just reading articles on psych central or depressing blogs. Educate yourself on every facet of this topic the pharmacology of the medications, the lifestyle, psycho social factors, the patterns of thinking. The most important education you can obtain about your condition is not in an article in this post or even in a medical book. It is in the inner workings of your own mind, you must at some point arrive there, by looking inward, honestly and relentlessly you can find the most valuable knowledge, the insight into the true nature of your own condition, with that you begin to develop the tools to overcome this condition and maybe with time even leverage some of its parts to accomplish goals. E.g, a depressive mood is terrible but is a great time to reflect to understand. A manic mood is dangerous but is a great time to develop skills and accomplish the necessities of life. Even delusions if understood and overcome offer creativity by learning to manipulate and configure loosely associative thinking patterns to change perspective and make new compositions of ideas that your more sound minded peers might never imagine. I’m not saying that my life is at all easy and that I don’t struggle greatly with this condition because I absolutely do, and still much more so then the average person, but like most anything it’s not what you have but what you do with it. The most important factor in keeping an even keel is sleep. If your not getting it your sanity will deteriorate, this is an unavoidable fact. With Depression,it is an unanswerable call to self pity and inactivity, fight it, fight it with everything you have, the more you wallow in it the worse it will get. Don’t expect people without your condition to understand and don’t automatically relate to everyone that has it, your mind will group their symptoms with theirs to make sense of this. Learn the 4,000 year old practice of rigorous critical thinking the same fallacies that politicians, use to stir up votes will be the same that your mind employs in leading you to delusional thinking. Seek therapy if you need, try medication if you need there are occasions where it can truly stabilize you enough to gain insight, forge routine, develop relationships and ultimately find stability enough that you can try to go without medication. There is a great call to life in every human being all of us live immensely in our own ways, a skilled artisan or dynamic leader is no more immersed then a depressed person who watches eight hours of television everyday. This calling will manifest itself in one way or another the beauty of being a human being is that you have control over the terms. You can take what is given to you as it appears to be, as what people tell you what it is, or you can step inside of it and see it for yourself.
“a depressive mood is terrible but it’s a great time to reflect and understand” What?? It’s a HORRIBLE time to ‘reflect and understand! You’re DEPRESSED for cryin our loud.. What are you saying?
You need to be comforted, medicated, seen by a qualified therapist or taken out of your current enviornment and cared for. ”manic mood is dangerous but it is a great time to develop skills and accomplish the necessities of life” Whaat?? Develop skills? Accomplish the necessities of life? Yeah, that’s a perfect time, when you’r manic. not. Re-Read your own post.
It’s like a confused persons manefesto to becoming a better person, not a helpful ideas for someone who’s suffering bipolar. You’ve written in confusing absolutes, not in helpful facts. imo.
Not every bipolar can sleep or see a therapist. What are you thinking?
and you ”suffer more so than the average person”. How would you know that? There is no ”average” bipolar person. And you can’t ”measure” suffering.
You have to read up on our illness. Not what you Think it is.
Maybe you are manic or delusional right now, —and if so, then I apologize. I understand that part of it.
you have some valid criticisms , but I think you have misconstrued my perspective. Depressed moods can be a good time to gain insight as you are more likely to look inward, and look to what happened in the past. Rumination as terrible as it is often lends itself to deeper insight. Mania can be a time to accomplish and grow, given there is at least some level of organization in the individuals thinking. As for therapy and medication nowhere did I say that either was a negative thing. Now with therapy. You need to read up, a very common medium for therapy is motivational interviewing. Which is nothing more then leading people to path of rational thinking to point out fallacious thinking the person might be having, if you look deeply into the current methods of therapy they can be fairly accurately distilled into leading the patient to rational thinking patterns.
Now if the individual is so profoundly depressed that they cannot leave their bed that is the most extreme scenario, and not much can be done accept to hope that in time it will pass, by medicating them, and caring for them. I agree with that entirely. If a person is completely manic, disorganized and dangerous then they need antipsychotics. The intention of my post was to paint a less fatalistic picture of this condition then psychiatry and people as yourself paint. I’m not saying that every person that suffers from bipolar disorder would benefit from all of this advice or could apply it to their lives. The most directed advice are all things that any person with this condition could benefit from. There is a great number of studies verifying that sleep deprivation accelerates psychosis, and even creates psychosis in non-bipolar people. The things I said about depression I believe to be true, it’s a very subjective and difficult to verify idea. I don’t see you doubting it however. Also I’m not saying that I suffer more then the average bipolar person. I’m saying I suffer more then the average person. By this I mean a person who does not meet the classification for any serious mental illness. Is your perspective preferable because it seems to be same woe is me I am nearly helpless to have control over this condition. Who are you to claim that you have a deeper or more well rounded knowledge of this condition you know only of me what you read in this post. I have lived with this condition for going on 10 years. I counseled and helped people with this condition on the other side of the therapist couch as well. I have seen it from both sides and read everything I could get my hands on about it. I read one other of your posts and it seemed to be another attack. This is not the place to attack others, people come here likely desperately seeking some new information, empathy, ad maybe hope. I’m certain there are other people who feel the same as me. Maybe not on this blog, but definitely in the bipolar community who this advice might open a door that is promptly closed shut by mainstream psychiatry and its residual affects of the sufferers of this condition. I agree there were parts of the post that were confusing. Also the ending was preachy and took away from the post.
@ joseph earl==You’re so unsure of your own advice, you block own ”reply” link. What are you afraid of?
I thought you counseled others? From what you’ve written, this illness is way above your pay grade.
You seem to paint bipolar wih way too broad a brush.
You can’t.
We are all different- and suffer in such varied and layered ways. Your tale seems to be a woe is me tale also. You seemingly pontificate w/o even so much as a license to practice what you speak of.
ie: There is no ”one answer” for curing depression –and not getting out of bed does Not beat attempted sucicide on the bipolar Richter scale.
I think you should go back to your drawing board and know that all of the specifics and so called facts you cite about this illness are not in your wheel house. Stay tuned to this blog for solid advice & facts from Natasha. .
Good luck. Good health to you.
I posted this on another, older thread. I am 40 years old, dxd bipolar I, no psychosis ever, no suicidal ideation for 20 years, never hospitalized, never med non-compliant, medicated for the last decade of my life. I have multiple med sensitivities, so not the full range of options. After being sicker than I had ever been with more aggression, excessive spending that I never had before. Making a disaster of my life for 10 years compared to being a bit volitile for 30 years, I became floridly symptomatic on meds. I have destroyed our finances, a couple of cars, sobriety, my friendships and very nearly my marriage of 19 years. It’s not about weak or strong, I am strong. I took the meds for that long because I believed they would help. My doctor is supervising my weaning off meds, first the redundant ones, and then all of them. My partner is fully supporting this and my doc thinks it’s as good an idea as any at this point. He has seen the magical thinking, the side effects, the way my life got very small. I stopped making art, reading. Now off the bulk of the cocktail I took, I ended my lithium last week. My 8 month depression is lifting just a bit, and I feel my confidence trickle back. I almost feel like I’m ready to start making work again. I have hope for the first time in years. No illusions, it might not work, but with the elimination of each med, I got just a bit better. I may need some meds, I may not. Right now, strength is trying.
It doesn’t sound like you are, or have ever had, true bipolar at all.
Maybe you have Borderline personality disorder, or PTSD?
I say that b/c no one just ”bounces back” from having what we all have. You might be an alcoholic, or a spend thrift, as are many women.
You may have suffered from major depression in your life and maybe it’s lifting?
Good for you. But having bipolar and no more meds? nope. I can’t believe this.
But that’s just me.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 at age 18, I am currently 20. I endure pain, much like night and day I posses a cycle. I thought about the sun, and how beautiful and warm it is, I pondered on how many places it’s fiery golden light kisses each day. Then I realized; no matter how bright the sun shines, there is always a place it cannot reach. Or in other words “under the suns magical flame, it’s strange how some shadows remain. ” you see I experience pain day in an out. I empathize it often… Sometimes for random people i know nothing of. But what I do know is that whatever an average person is dealing with, I have and still harbor those emotions; and weather good or bad manic or depressant not a day goes by that certain memories, familiar faces, music,ect brings back those ever so intense emotions that tie me up in a neuce and force me to hang in such sorrows. Moments so full of joy they to hurt. It’s all to much, to intense, to sparatic. I go from fighting to save life’s, to contemplating on taking my own. It. Would be is much easier I say to myself. Sometimes getting angry at my loved ones for have loving me at all. For if they didn’t there would be nothing holding me back from pulling that curious trigger. Except for this one lingering thought that always causes me hesitation…. What if we never really die.
Wow. I don’t know what this is but I feel exactly like this. To the point.
I don’t know if I am bipolar, some (doctors) have suggested it & in my familiar circle I am known for my switching moods & every changing and growing field of interest. And of course I am very aware of my extreme palette of emotions and at what speed and small trigget it can change.
Anyway, so I don’t know if I am just feeling exactly every every little thing you wrote because all bipolar people feel this way? I have no contact to a bipolar person just read about.
And very very very beautifully written. I love it so much it touched my soul and it gave me so much comfort to know that I am not alone, there are people who feel like me, crazy “normal” people would say but this is just how life goes for us. Thank you for sharing.
Only one thing, I am feeling very strongly that life does not end. Our true essence never dies :)
And I forgot this artikel about medication. I think it is very nicely written full with tips. Real proper food, regular excersice and proper rest is so simple & probably all that is needed to be a healthy human being but often not looked after. Myself including.
I would say #1 medication is giving oneself an OK. It is OK for me to be bipolar. It’s ok. It’s part of me.
I’ve been trying for so long to fight against it, without meds, with homeopathy, yoga, meditation, healthy eating, positivity, etc. So I’m tired of trying to do something against it.
And bipolar is not just all bad. I like my sensitiveness. Being able to receive indescribable spontaneous joy from the smallest things, thoughts, feelings..Would be nice if only for nice things but it’s also for not so nice things. Double sided coin like in everything. Ying yang. + –
Anyway, so fighting against it didn’t work so I might as well become friends with it if “bipolar” is staying for now anyway. Give it a nicer name, bipolar has such a negative touch to it.
I have a feeling once it’s “lived out” and not forcefully rejected & suppressed it will leave, go into the light ;)
Sorry I don’t even know if I have bipolar for sure but all the symptoms as well as PD. I do know that there is something very very real, I just don’t know what.
I’ve been reading the book “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine N. Avon and found lots and lots of “exactly!!” s in it.
Sorryyy drifting off..
All the best to you all<3
Personally, I hate medication. My experience of it was mostly awful. Weight gain, hair loss and immense fatigue were among many of the side effects I had to endure. I was on Lorazepam, Depakote, Olanzapine and up until recently, a small dose of Aripiprazole. Those are just the ones I’m aware of – there are quite a few holes in my memory of the episode. It was just shy of two years ago. I had just turned 20 and after about two months of upward spiral into mania, I was admitted to a psych ward. Anyway, I digress. I think I’m on the verge of a relapse, only this time it doesn’t seem manic – at least not in comparison to the last episode by any measure. My point is, I don’t want to be medicated. Last time, I wasn’t even aware I was experiencing psychosis. I felt as though I’d tapped into some undiscovered brilliance in my own mind and to be honest, it felt f***ing amazing. My family, friends and hoards of mental health professionals launched an intervention. I digress, again haha. Point being, this time, I recognise the warning signs and if it comes to asking my care coordinator for help, I’ll insist on not being medicated. I think there are other (arguably more effective) means of managing psychosis. In the meantime, I’m taking a stab at my own brand of self-therapy. Wish me luck and apologies for the general pointlessness of this comment; it’s close to 5am and I’m taking a break from journal-writing. Toodles :)
being able to predict the future is my gift i mean curse as a bipolar disorder sick bastard. when i told my psy he said i was one of few people who had this abilities. it make me feel like somekind of super genius . anyway i think its giving me more problems then good things in life. they say that by time it will get better but i need to get to the age of 40 first since i did commit suicide twice when things get really crazy. but somehow i laff about it today since i am still alive today.
its a nice twisted world we live in and i like it cause its my own world. most of us are gifted an we should use it in our advantage.
Diagnosed Bioplar 1, I was diagnosed at age 18, I had a very strong psychosis, my initials being JC, made my overactive brain create some very unique images that I wouldn’t trade for the world, they say it’s all an illusion, but I don’t believe them. Haha that last line probably isn’t helping my case. Well I tried depakote 2000mg lithium 3 pills at a time (i think 450mg) saphris 10mg latuda I got up to 160mg, ativan…a lot, but i can’t remember much from that period of my life, zyprexa, pretty sure it was max dose, it was the major weight gain med for me (160 diagnosed, 320 a couple months ago, 260 now (17 percent body fat though)) abillify max dose, ambien (lol really ambien? bad move doc) trazadome only 100mg, and there might be one or two I’m missing. Just saying I tried to accept life on meds, but they just don’t work for me, I was fine for 17 years, suddenly I need pills to be functional? Yea, makes a lot of sense…but then again the doctors do make money when you’re sick, so motives are always in question for me, yea I want you better, but not too much better! I’ve been off meds for maybe a month, i weaned myself off with doctor help and my own practices, and now that I’ve pretty much grape fruit juiced my meds to death, and I’m running pure again. I’m really bad with run-on sentences, promise I’m not manic. I honestly have more control that I’ve ever had, even before I was diagnosed. It’s almost offputting, kinda a sociopath vibe like calm, but I don’t really care. I basically suffer zero anxiety, and I have the benefits of bipolar one. My life is retarded awesome. I don’t know if everyone can do what I did, but if the meds aren’t working, and you’ve got no options left, hey, why not try med free before you pull the trigger.
Interesting take… I have been off meds for about 3 months after taking a good 6 months to taper. I was dxd as bipolar 2; however, I think that instead of taking pills to make me complacently fit into YOUR idea of what will make me happy, I have decided to say effffff you to big pharma and the government and anyone else who wants to tell me how to be happy. I’m pretty sire I’m the only one who can figure that out for myself. And I hate taking pills. They were useful when I was unable to deal with some certain situations appropriately but I really just needed to learn how to evaluate my options before making decisions and taking action… And I’m not going to be medicat d for LIFE for a “mental illness”. Some people may need medication for life… But not everyone. I’m going to tell my family I’ve been off meds when a year passes… I’m 26 years young and I have my whole life ahead of me. I’m not about to have someone tell me how to live it for the next 70 years. I hate pills. And what about the long term effects? Nah, I’m good.
Sorry about my typos. I hate that!
Stevie, we have already sunk millions into brain research so this isn’t anything new. The question to be asking is: What have the practical results of that research been? As far as many of us call tell, the answer is Not Very Much.
Natasha, the APA, NIMH, NAMI and every mainstream psychiatry group in the world confirm that there is no objective test for any mental illness.
And this necessarily entirely subjective diagnosis is just one of the distinguishing characteristics of psychiatry as a branch of medicine. Another is that outcomes are improved without or with minimal treatment.
Anyway, even if we could reliably distinguish Group A (bipolar) vs. Group B (healthy) via brain scan, we still wouldn’t know if we were looking at cause or effect, i.e. the brain anomaly might be what your brain looks like when you’re bipolar without providing any clue about why.
I have no vested interest in how the puzzle of mental illness gets cracked. I am only concerned with how people recover from these devastating disorders. I spent over a decade cycling in and out of the hospital on varying cocktails of drugs but nothing worked until I started thinking critically about what I was being told and decided to reject my diagnosis and associated treatment. There are tens of thousands of people who have recovered in the same manner but this is very threatening to mainstream psychiatry.
The recovery rate for serious mental illness is pretty good, but it’s not through pills. Unfortunately, with Big Pharma driving the biomedical model, our voices get drowned out. I see many people who have been taught they are neurologically deficient and who are simply trained to be disabled. People tend to meet other people’s expectations, especially of those in authority.
I tend to agree with Pierre as far as meds mostly being symptom relief, but it surely revolves around what the nature of your bipolar disorder is. There are many, many routes to a diagnosis. If your mental illness truly originates from a chemical imbalance then it’s more likely that meds are going to be the answer. Question is, though, how are you supposed to know that it’s a chemical imbalance that’s driving the symptoms? The mind isn’t an organ and psychiatry isn’t neurology. We’re decades (or more) away from accurate diagnosis and we may in fact never get there. Without reliable, valid diagnosis, the whole field is tenuous because we don’t even know what we’re studying. There is still no objective test for any mental illness and that’s very troubling. Also, the legal and ethical issues surrounding psychiatry are extraordinarily complex. People have to do what works for them but pretending that all this conjecture is science doesn’t make it so.
Francesca,
Feel how you like, but there is now a brain scan for a mental illness: https://natashatracy.com/mental-illness-issues/brain-scan-diagnoses-mental-illness/
– Natasha Tracy
There is? Really? Or is it just another “definite proof any decade now, we are getting closer” hype? Even in the article you state you “believe” it’s gonna be there in your life time and that it’s just a significant step in right direction.
In your words, feel all you like, but don’t present your wishful thinking as facts. It’s not helping…. anybody.
Thank you for this info Natasha–This news is so exciting! You really do your homework. No wonder you are so successful in your work, life and missions.
I too, believe this might happen in your/my life time. They’re not telling us all they are sitting on, re: new meds, or treatments for bipolar. A brain scan sounds like territory we haven’t invested much time in, much less exhausted for bipolar sufferers, since brain exrays for the mentally ill turned out to be such a dismal failure way back when. Tumors seemed to be all they found w/ any exrays.
I remember a year ago or so, several different drugs for bipolar were introduced at one time. I was shocked. At least two came out at once! More ‘devices’ also.
So what’s waiting behind big pharmas black doors for us? What will this new year bring? We’ll see.
I believe that every family has or knows a person that has some type of MI and I’m sure the worlds chemists are working their white jacketed butts off to find a better solution.
If there’s any new hope, it just might begin with these scans. Thanks again Natasha- Great investigating. xoxox
“Chemical imbalance” is just a coined term – ask any Clinical Psychologist what those chemical are and how the imbalance causes this illness and they’ll have no answer for you ;) As for brain scans, sure it shows something, the result of something, just like showing someone an x-ray of a broken leg. But none of this really explains how bipolar is caused or a true test of anything. Point is, if modern medicine can’t cure bipolar but only manage the symptoms, then they don’t fully understand this illness.
I’m not saying medication is not useful, and I admit I have self medicated a lot in the past and tried every illegal drug on the streets. But from my experience drugs whether legal or not, is a short term solution. Our mind is the most powerful and complex organ probably in the entire universe, and science doesn’t know everything about how the mind works exactly, but there is a definite link between thoughts and well being, and negative thinking can make you physically sick. So instead of changing your brain with drugs to change the thoughts into positive ones, my breakthrough happened from learning where those negative thoughts come from. And there is always going to be a trigger. Believing you are sick and needing meds, or that you are not in control of your own mind, is a sure way of staying depressed. See a thought as just a thought, and you are separate from those thoughts, just an observer who has the option which thoughts to identifying with is a big step in the right direction. It’s not easy, and I’ve been to the lowest of lows, and it will seem like an impossible task, you’ll want outside help, but it takes some time and patience to rewire your mind to be more positive, to undo everything you’ve believed about yourself, and see that it is possible to recover and be the person you know you are inside.
Meds fix the symptoms, but without changing the causes of depression – you’re not really going anywhere. It’s sometimes easier to take the short cut, but I believe from my own experience that bipolar is the result of years of conditioning from birth, a dysfunctional thought pattern which we are desperate to break out of, with occasional windows of freedom as manic episodes of euphoria with the inevitable crash – and around and around we go. It’s almost like being lost in your mind, it’s a puzzle, it’s like looking for that exit point of normality. We should ask ourselves why do we feel depressed, where do these thoughts come from, why do we think in terms of doom and gloom, that life is a drag, that we NEED something outside of ourselves to be happy. Truth is, it’s all in the mind, it’s all thoughts and it’s all something we can control by monitoring our thought patterns, and not identify with every thought we have, especially the negative ones. See yourself as too parts, the person who wants to be happy, and this inner voice of negativity that drags us down. And that negative voice has roots in the past, it comes from somewhere, possibly someone like a parent who was controlling, or was anxious a lot, or worried about you a lot. Upbringing frames your identity, your conscience, that inner dialog. It comes from your social conditioning, it’s not your voice, it’s an idea from the outside world which has been lodged into your subconscious.
I believe bipolar is the result of wanting to break out of this thought pattern and to be free to be yourself, it’s the beginning of undoing dysfunctional thought patterns we’ve identified with for years, and believed that is who we are. It’s on opportunity to look within yourselves to find the cause of our negative thoughts, which makes us feel sick or in need of help. The best cure is not going to be outside of ourselves, and not in a pill, it’s going to be from introspection, from learning from our thoughts, trying to understand ourselves more. And learning what our triggers are, what causes us to think negatively, it’s about learning to be self sufficient, and taking control of our own life and give the power back to ourselves and believing that we can change our thought patterns, and heal ourselves, through diet, through exercises, through the power of positive thinking, through avoiding those triggers, and through dealing with possible unresolved past issues – some of which me have forgotten or maybe be unaware of how it affects as an adult.
If you want to be happy, but your mind spits out negativity, then surely it’s easier to see that it’s the mind doing its own thing, and our true self wants to be happy, but we are identifying with every thought the mind spits out, we are not in control of our mind if we are doing that, the break through happens when you realize you are not your thoughts. The thoughts are there to teach you something, so don’t mask those thoughts with drugs, and self medicate – use the thoughts as clues to find the answers, to show you the way, to undo this negative conditioning, this prison we have believed and built around ourselves, and start dismantling it, learn what makes our mind tick, what triggers these thoughts, and start taking control. One thought at a time, like walking through a maze, and through trial and error finding that exit point of true happiness.
I cannot be on meds my whole life. I just can’t!!! I’m trapped between a doom dawning morning and a doom dusking night every single wake with only a few hours of escape in the insomnia of the night. I mean the tegratol is better than the lithium, but I’m still depressed, the only thing that’s changed is the will to die or the will to keep going in this pointless parade as if we were actually molding something in the nihilistic empire man has created… I am a shriveled up peach left basking in the sun too long… Manic Depression made me a writer… No all that I am is a writer… But its gone, the muse isn’t coming back for me. She left me just like she left Beltram… God’ this is shit. This is nothing. I had journals upon journals of poetry, short stories, and even a fantasy novel piled all on my desk before… I was diagnosed.
I’m only seventeen years old and i’ve benn hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar and moderate psychosis twice. I can’t be on this crap all my life. I can be good, I’ll just write forever and ever and ever… Why doesn’t,t anybody believe me? :'(
I was just reading about something called a Fischer Wallace Stimulator. It’s like a mild do it yourself electric shock therapy device. Has anyone on here ever heard of it or tried it. That looks like something I would like to try but it’s 700 bucks. Does anyone have any opinions on this device
This seems relevant: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/fda-panel-votes-curtail-cranial-electrotherapy-stimulators
In particular: “FDA believes the available valid scientific evidence does not demonstrate that CES will provide a reasonable assurance of effectiveness for the indication of ‘insomnia, depression, anxiety.”
But on the other hand: “This [Fisher Wallace Stimulator] appears to be a very low risk device without serious side effects.”
So, it’s your money, but I wouldn’t waste mine.
Its still electroshock therapy. It messes with your memory and motor skills and rewires your thought process…. Yet why do I feel like trying it..? A little, how many shocks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie pop?:-)
I got news for you people. I live in my live in my own apartment take care of my own kids and have managed never to get arrested or thrown in a mental ward all while taking street drugs and having no one. I mean literally no one to turn to. Since Social Security says I’m sane and I live in a dangerous barrio and I’m white I carry a legal hand gun. People have cried to the cops about me being crazy and strapping but guess what mentally ill or not there is no proof of it in the eyes of the law and when the police have asked me if I suffer from mental illness I always lie my ass off and say NO OFFICER. But being the true bipolar that I am every time one of my neighbors have attacked me I never grabbed my gun prefering to vent my rage and beat people with my fists. You people on here are a bunch of pampered cry babies. Everyone around you pat you on the head and made excuses for your bad behaviors saying OH but he/she is sick and can’t help it and you got used to using medication and your bipolar disorder as an excuse every time you screw up and not take responsibility for your own actions. I’ve always had the opposite done to me. It’s always been about punishing me for being sick. So I’ve gotten used to doing my best to hide how sick I feel and never seeking sympathy in fear of punishment. When I start feeling suicidal my kids take my bullets away. I got news for you people it’s possible to live without medication. You would be amazed at what you can do when you have no choice and no one standing behind you ready to wipe your ass when you screw up
I’ve lived a horrible life both as a teenager and over the past 6 years since my husband died. I can honestly say the only reason I’m still alive is because my Bipolar disorder wasn’t and hasn’t been treated. I’m a white lady stuck living in a cartel barrio. You know dam well these people don’t want me here. But every time I have encountered problems because of all my heartache and all my rage not only have I been able to fend people off but I scare the crap out of them. It has to be the bipolar disorder that gives me such a powerful fight or fight reflex. When ever I’m put in a position where I’m frightened or in a rage I have what can only be described as super human strength. Only a crazy person like me would yell at people threatening to kill me, to please put me out of my misery and mean it. A normal person if put in my position would piss their pants in fear. But being half out of my mind in distress with absolutely no fear of dying made me go back after people like a mad woman. Well guess what no one bothers me anymore. As a matter of fact my neighbors are now very nice and respectful. Had I been a normal person or a treated I would have been afraid. Had I been afraid I would have gotten hurt or killed. But because I went nuts and showed no fear I’m no respected and admired. So sometimes in certain situations being sick can come in handy
I have severe bipolar 1 disorder with mixed anxiety intermitant explosive anger disorder with post traumatic stress disorder at least that’s the official diagnosis and I’ve lived for the most part of my life medication free. I first started getting sick in 1983 and was diagnosed as being bipolar in 1987. But the social security administration says since I worked 20 years full time with this illness then I should be able to continue to do so. Hey when people call me crazy I always tell them but the social security administration says I’m normal so it has to be true. LOL. After I was hospitalized at aged 13 my wonderful parents wrote me off as damaged goods and signed me over to NYS. Because I defended myself on the psych ward I was deemed violent making me impossible to place. So even though I was a naive innocent kid who never committed a crime off to juvenile detention I went I guess in NY it’s a crime for a kid to be depressed. My illness was never treated there. As a young woman as soon as I got a job with insurance I sought treatment and took medication. As soon as I started dating my husband in 1991 he forced me to stop treatment. My husband was involved in a lot of criminal activity he was probably afraid I might say something to a therapist about his crimes. In 2006 after my husband almost died from a brain injury I had a breakdown and sought treatment. In 2009 after my husband had been dead only a year and after having lost my house I lost my job after testing positive for weed. Since I no longer have insurance and have been repeatedly denied medicaid guess what no meds plus I got denied social security disability. For the past few years living in poverty in a bad neighborhood with my kids and unable to afford to go to a Dr. I started taking the only medication I can afford in the form of meth and weed. I would have gladly took medication for my Bipolar 1 disorder instead had I not been denied by the system I worked and paid into for 20 years. I’ve had a few untreated break downs and live in social isolation unable to connect with people. I actually have become so sick I walk around my apartment talking to myself all the time. I manage to function just well enough to get by because I have no choice. So yeah it is possible to live a whole lifetime untreated even while being repeatedly abused and traumatized. It will be a miserable existence trust me. But it’s possible
You write so well – I would not guess you are crazy either. LOL or would it be little ole lady – Come on – you are fooling yourself, a miserable existence is life? Huh? You allow your kids to pick up bullets so YOU don’t hurt YOURSELF? Rock on- I would never suggest meth as a “medication” to bi-polar. I really understand your point.
BTW: Meth is not medicine and Lithium is not medicine it is salt! Humm
I’m sorry for all that you have gone through.
First I want to thank you for writing this blog. Every Tuesday I look forward to reading it. I want to write so much. The last sentence is correct – please do not go over prescribed medicine on your own. My son is currently in a horrible (and I mean) horrible locked psych. facility because he was allowed to get his own apartment and guess what…he went off his meds, he drank, he smoked m.j., then meth, then shot meth, then was violent, was used, raped, burglarized and now b/c this facility can not handle him (he is out of mind – he’s scared – he is not receiving the correct medicine or counseling it is a warehouse!) he is being sent to jail and charges will be filed. SAD!! REALLY SAD!! This is b/c he wants a gun. NOW, I’m not suggesting this will happen to anyone who goes off their medicines however he came from foster care, before that he was brutalized, and then brutalized in group homes, actually graduated from high school and then was dismissed to the streets! He was stable for 2 years living with me and my husband, yes he gained weight but he was safe, sure he was bored, but he was safe and so was everyone else. These last nine years of my life seeing him get sick and receive no help, be dismissed to the streets, and now this – over medicine. Something is really wrong. The alternative is brutal if you don’t take medicine and I think how, and what can I say that makes it a little better a little easier to take – I say, or we used to take our medicine together and say, “cheers.” So with all the pain in suffering and tears and my stomach aching I say – if you don’t want to take your medicine and you can’t find someone to say cheers with – I’m asking that you reconsider and say, “Cheers” before you take yours morning noon and night and for that I shall be so very Thankful to know that I’m no alone when I swallow mine and he swallows his or it is injected now behind bars that sanity is hope while the pills dilute. With all due respect. Cheers! ~~Anna
I hate it when people start talking about the possibility of going off meds on Facebook and other forums, because it seems like most of the time they are actively promoting it. They have an ax to grind, like psychiatry is sinister and mental illness a myth, or Big Pharma has sold all of us on the need for their drugs in order to make a huge profit, or marijuana is the answer, or taking meds is sinful. Taking meds often sucks in a very serious and life-altering way and of course everyone has the right to make their own decisions about it. But we should always make clear, esp. to people newly diagnosed (who are often grasping at straws), that overall taking meds is a better way to manage the illness and lead your best life than doing without them. The evidence for it is not just anecdotal (although there is plenty of that too).
Yes,Natasha one can get into a mess of trouble in one un medicated day…
I can only speak for myself,whenever I’ve gone off my meds..well,let’s say it’s not a happy ending story…..
It’s just NOT an option for me.
But now I see it as just a normal part of my routine.
These days,more people than not take some sort or medication.
Even my super health-conscious little brother is on GI meds…
It’s really not a big deal,unless you chose to make it one.
Or your side effects are crappy,thus you’ll need fiddling with.
I know my illness well.
I’m rapid-cycler,& very time sensitive.
So,I’m on a schedule quite strict.
But,I really feel as we experience this differently…
It should be between the Dr and the Patient ( if of age of consent)
Unless….the individual is psychotic,incapable of making a rational decision.
We all have the rights,otherwise,of refusal.
Or exploring other avenues of treatment…..
Anyway,just my thoughts on the matter…
I’m not quite sure how to take this information. I would love to go off all meds but I remember how bad it was before i was diagnosed with BP. Nightmarish in fact. I look back and don’t know how I made it through. So antidepressants, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers are a daily meal for me. A must have. Saying people may not take meds because they would miss the mania and hypomania is bogus. I feel that if they enjoyed those times maybe they should get a second opinion for a diagnosis.
Second, who has mild bipolar. BP is just BP. Both I and II are destructive and at best disruptive.
I agree with Tabby. Do research on a natural alternative and let the rest of us in on the breaking news. I didn’t read that Dr. Dennis has done any such research to back up her claims.
I’ve been on meds for thirty years. I’ve been on a psych for fifteen. I write a blog that’s so bizarre I decided to take it private for a while.
I know people that dropped meds and converted to beer and pot. I know people that think that every human on the planet has lyme disease and take so much crap it would make a psychiatrist jealous.
I know that Dr Mercola is a rich quack.
We had an alternative section on the forum and I used to stop by for the laughs.
If alternative methods work, why do I never talk to these people?
I’ve always wondered, why do people love their oncologist and hate their psychiatrist? How many people have been scammed with alternative cancer treatments? Maybe a number close to those who have been scammed by alternative psychiatric treatments. Show me ten people using the same regimen and have done well. Then show me ten thousand and I’ll give it a go.
I do like these discussions though because they make me think. Maybe soon, maybe soon. We all just want to get well, to reach the finish line. We do the best we can.
True. Oncologists are less likely to do scams. :)
“We start with how well or not their life is working out without medication? What has their illness untreated cost them? Do they believe they can have a different life in recovery? Do they have fears about giving up certain aspects of the illness (like mania/hypomania)? ”
as if the ONLY reason anyone goes off meds is because they just miss the highs…
what about taking meds that cause life-threatening side/adverse reactions… that never quite do anything of therapeutic value or measure… that cause OTHER psych symptoms to form or those you are trying to relieve yourself of, worsen..(ie., anti-depressants that cause suicidal impulsivity or gosh darn – mania, etc.)?
what about the meds that cause you to be cognitively retarded, semi-comatosed and unable to perform necessary daily life activities like duh… ability to function AT WORK?
nope… just miss the highs
not against meds for treatment and 1000s upon 1000s do well, with meds
but there are 1000s upon 1000s that simply can’t tolerate meds, though they’ve tried numerous ones over many years
do a blog about those folks… and the alternatives to pharmaceutical treatment
I probably fall in the category of what Dr Dennis refers to as “mild bipolar 2”. I’ve managed to shoot myself enough in the foot in the past, but now that I’m diagnosed and living a low-stress lifestyle, my symptoms seem to have gone subclinical for the moment. I still notice them but they’re not really interfering with my life. Finding the right medication seems to be more difficult for rapid-cyclers and people with mixed states. I have an average of ten days between states (p-value < 0.001) and I often get energised depressions and dysphoric hypomanias, so I can't really go on antidepressants, only mood stabilisers. I'm wary of antipsychotics for their side-effects and benzodiazepines because of the risk of addiction.
Lithium seemed fairly effective when I tried it but I'm currently off it. Part of the reason for this is I wanted to experiment to see how well I can go just by living a quiet, low-stress lifestyle. The second reason is that we're now heading into summer in Australia and last year I found lithium dehydrated me way too much. I only went off lithium after talking to a psychiatrist about it. My current plan for the future is to try alternating between lithium-adherence during the cooler months and going medication-free over summers, provided I can keep my life on track using other methods.
I feel bad for people with more extreme forms of bipolar who have no real choice other than to munch through an entire pharmacy every day. That must really suck :-( But it does seem like it's not entirely necessary all the time for all bipolars.
Very interesting. Sometimes I wonder about my responses and episodes. I am trying to learn and gain tools. PTSD is a definite. Anxiety and depression lifetime. Sometimes I wonder If it is all just cumulative for me. A result of many things without the necessary skills to deal. Not sure. I do feel on many days that when I first awoke and shook off the nightmares that I felt clear and then I took meds and got either worried ( toxic ) or too up. My point is I wish I could know.