Fear of pain is normal and natural but I think an acute fear of depression’s pain actually makes depression worse; and of course, this is something that none of us want. But how does fear make pain worse? Can you get over fearing depression’s pain?

We Fear Depression’s Pain

I fear depression’s pain. I fear my next depression. I fear the worsening of a current depression. I fear how painful tomorrow might be because of depression. I fear what might happen because of depression (My Suicide Attempt Story).

If you’ve never suffered from severe depression you likely won’t understand this fear and this pain but the pain of depression is real and really life-threatening (Healing After a Suicide Attempt) because it can be so severe. It’s like any other kind of pain. It’s like severe pain due to an illness or after an injury – it’s horrific. But the difference is, depression pain often pops out of nowhere. If you had the risk of breaking your femur and experiencing that pain at any time, you would be scared of it too.

Depression Pain Gets Worse When You Fear Pain

The thing that I’ve learned is that fear increases pain. Let’s say you have a pain level of 6 (where the pain is measured between 1 and 10, 10 being the most pain you can possibly imagine). A pain level of 6 is nothing to kid about. It’s awful and it’s going to make it very difficult to accomplish the things you need to do (I Can’t Do Anything Because of Depression, or Can I?).

And it would be completely normal to fear your pain getting to a 7, 8 or more. You might ruminate on the fact that you’re in pain and marinate in the fear of it continuing or worsening. You’re` focused completely on the pain in the future. And when you focus on bad things happening in the future, that produces anxiety (it’s pretty much the definition of anxiety) and that anxiety about the pain increases the pain you actually feel. So suddenly you’re not living with a level 6 pain, you’re terrified of a level 7 and that makes the pain even worse.

It’s a trick of the brain.

The Brain’s Fear of Pain Is Usually a Good Thing

Under other circumstances, fear of pain is helpful – when, for example, you can control whether you experience future pain. Fear of pain allows you to modify your behavior so the same pain doesn’t occur again.

But in the case of depression, you typically experience a loss of control. You don’t control whether the pain of depression gets worse in an hour, or a day, or a week. You don’t control if it goes away. You can use coping skills and treatment to try to make the depression do what you want, but in the end, you just don’t control your brain. This increases fear. And I might suggest, it increases mostly useless fear.

Dealing with Fear of the Pain of Depression

I think it’s clear that fearing pain makes sense in most human circumstances, but it doesn’t make sense when you’re talking about a brain illness – something you can’t control.

Depression's pain can be horrific but fear of this pain can cause anxiety and fear of this pain can make the pain of depression worse. Learn more about anxiety, fear and depression pain.So when you feel depression pain getting worse, check in with yourself: are you terrified of what comes next? Are you feeling extreme anxiety? If so, you need to deal with that (Dealing with Fear and Anxiety in Bipolar Disorder).

First, admit that you’re scared and/or anxious (Being Incapacitated by Anxiety in Bipolar Disorder). Say hello to the fear and/or anxiety. Shake its hand. Acknowledge that these are feelings that exist to protect you. The fear and/or anxiety is doing its job. It’s trying to be helpful.

But because in this case, these feelings aren’t helpful, we need to work to get rid of them.

I suggest tuning into your pain and really feeling it. Feel where you are right in the here and now. Realize that your pain is at a 6 and not a 7 or 8. Acknowledge that pain. Acknowledge that it hurts and acknowledge that it sucks. Be real with yourself.

And then realize you can’t predict the future. Take deep breaths. Then take a few more (Mindfulness Coping Skill 1: Deep Breathing). Feel the cool air fill your lungs. Realize that you are living now and not tomorrow. Tomorrow – and its pain or healing – aren’t guaranteed to anyone. Dealing with the now and not the later will help beat that fear and anxiety back. (Yes, this is part of mindfulness.)

And beating those feelings back can help how you experience your depression pain.

I know it’s really hard to talk your depressed brain (A Depressed Brain and a Mind Trying to Deal with It) into anything, let alone convincing it to give up fear and/or anxiety. I get that. But it’s important. Because after all, having to live with a level 6 pain is bad enough without adding fear and/or anxiety on top of it.

Image: The original uploader was Harrygouvas at Greek Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 3.0 or GFDL], from Wikimedia Commons.