I recently posted an article at HealthyPlace where I recommended some New Year’s resolutions for people with bipolar disorder. These resolutions included:
- Resolving to deal with anger
- Resolving to initiate a bipolar routine
- Resolving to track your moods
- Resolving to reduce your stress
- Resolving to learn anxiety- and stress-reduction techniques
I believe that all of these are solid, serious, doable resolutions that can improve 2014 for someone with bipolar disorder.
But when I look back at my 2013 and ahead to be 2014, I can only think of one thing: I just want my bipolar to be better.
I Don’t Like New Year’s Resolutions
The reason I don’t like New Year’s resolutions is because most New Year’s resolutions are unreasonable and unsustainable. Eg. I resolve to work out five times a week. Um, sure you do. I have no doubt the person that made that resolution meant it at the time, but they just weren’t being realistic about how much of a life change they could initiate. People’s lives are more static than we want to admit and just “resolving” to do something doesn’t work. It’s why I say that New Year’s resolutions often read like wish lists and are not anything useful.
My Bipolar New Year’s Resolution
But if New Year’s resolutions are about what we really want in 2014, then I only want one thing: I want to be better. I want to be happy. I want to smile again. I want my heart not to feel decimated.
Unfortunately “wanting to be happy,” is one of those wish-list items and isn’t a reasonable or achievable resolution.
This is Why I Don’t Like the New Year
This is why I don’t like New Year’s. It makes me look back at the pain of the last year and makes me look forward at the likelihood of the pain in the next. Don’t get me wrong, it’s quite possible that I could get better in the next year. And it’s entirely possible that I won’t. Looking at it rationally, I can tell you that all the odds are against me. I can tell you that people in my situation tend to have long-term, chronic mood disturbance that remains untouched by treatment. That’s just a fact of life. It’s a fact that I live with every day. It’s a fact that makes the upcoming year look like a repeated bashing by a 2-x-4.
Hope for the New Year in Spite of Killer Bipolar
But, knowing that’s what I’m looking at, I have to carry on anyway and I think I hit the nail on the head earlier. I said I don’t like to look at the past bipolar pain or the upcoming bipolar pain, so the secret is, simply not to do that. The secret is to take one day at a time. Use all those fancy coping techniques and just concentrate on the next breath.
So I’m not going to couch my wishes in resolution speak. I’ll just say, I wish to get better in 2014. I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen, but in the end, I know it’ll be about factors that I can’t control. And while that reality may be excruciating, that doesn’t make it any less true.
But I’ll go on and I’ll fight because it’s what we do. It’s what I do. And I hope 2014 is the year where it all turns around for me. But I’m likely to survive even if it doesn’t.
I would like to add one….
one of my new year resolutions is…. NO WHINING!
Hi Lily,
I’m down with that one at any time of year :)
– Natasha Tracy
I wish you all the very best for 2014 Natasha. Keep strong, fight your struggle, and you will come out of it a better person. Much love, James.
currently, I am unemployed and this time – through my own desire. I resigned rather than be let go due to my seeming incompetence on a new job. It’s okay.
it’s not my first bout of unemployment… actually, it’s my 6th in 6 years and 3rd in one year. I’m rather getting used to being “unemployed”.
Only this time… I’ve decided that rather than stay in a mood of panic, heightened anxiety, and fretting… I’ll just take it one day at a time, try and enjoy the sunlight, and sleep it all away as much as possible.
Stress, I’ve realized quite recently, is killing me faster than life itself. I’ve developed stage 2 hypertension and high blood sugar, I’m Obese x2 on the BMI scale, Bipolar/GAD, and my partial seizures are somewhat not controlled. I need money because I have a child dependent on me and well, we have life expenses.
I just can’t deal, right now, with the interviewing process (IF I get one) and the stress of starting yet another NEW job (IF I get one).
So, I take my blood pressure med because it immediately gives positive improvement though the side effects are annoying (mostly overwhelming fatigue) and I’ve started riding a stationary bike for 10 minutes a day (I am to do 20 or more minutes of exercise a day for the blood sugar, but with my physical disability – it makes it much harder) and I’m enjoying watching simple child programs.
No resolutions and no aspirations, at the moment. Really, if you expect nothing and aspire to little, you are so not disappointed when nothing happens or little is achieved.
Tabby…
you are not alone.
As Michael says you are not alone. I once heard that starting any habit good or bad takes about 21 days. Over simplification of course but just a guide line. I’m 6’4″ male and seven years ago began walking around the lake near my house which is 3.55 miles not including the .5 miles or so to the lake. I began this about seven years ago and after just eight or so months to my surprise , I did it to make my damaged knees better my weight went from 340 to 260 to my great surprise. Never changed my diet or anything. Just religiously did the walking 4-5 times per week even in the ten degree weather with wind. Bought yak-trax, balaclava, scarf, etc. So could do so in winter. Best thing, no people in great shape looking at you especially in winter. Waist went from 52 to 40. I have a naturally large upper body so would prob. be less for most. Sadly my dad died two years ago and got off the habit but have still maintained approx. 275 lbs. Hope to regain the habit again soon and get weight to 240 lbs. Never realized persistent walking could take off weight like that. The good habits take over as strongly as the negative. I couldn’t miss that walking for one day without the guilt. The blisters and pain only took about 2-3 weeks to subside to my surprise after years of inactivity. Within two years after doing this I could walk ten miles a day with my pedometer and not even be that tired. Your body will adapt and quicker than you think. Mine did and I never expected it. As well the B.P. problem disappeared as well as the high pulse. Never had the hypoglycemia prob. though. Good luck.
Very good piece as usual. I would like to thank you for your courage to fight! I am going tomorrow for the first part of my “Proper Diagnosis”. I won’t say I am ok with it, because I am not. I hate this. I have had uncontrolled anger issues my whole life. Signs of depression on and off throughout my life. Then friends told me they saw things I didn’t. Again thank you. Continue to fight! I am sending positive energy your way. Kind Regards.
What is it that you do? How do you make it day to day? Please share. I need to know that secret, just so I can get threw the day by day
Hi Gina,
I’m not sure if you’re talking to me, but I’m a writer, speaker and social media consultant. And as far as getting through the day? Just one breath at a time. Really.
– Natasha Tracy
Natasha: eloquently said,notoriously true!
My grade 13 History teacher actually told MY PARENTS he truly thought I actually did,indeed posess those
traits.
I can meet someone,many too many times know things about them be impossible to know….
I can sense dark or positive auras ….no I’m not on shrooms….
( :-)
I seem to always know what my pets wanted exactly when/ why…..
Plus think of a song yrs ago,turn on radio THE song would be PLAYING.
We are ultra sensitive to the entire universe,…..too sensitive for this world sometimes ……..
Tea-time( ginger lemon non caff.)
Appreciate your comments always & your thoughtfulness to reply.
Ciao.
Xxxxxxxxxx
I was very manic yesterday. coffee pot is broken and very little food in the house. I got a glass on ginger ale(love that stuff) and just started writing stories. Finish one, think for a minute and write another. I wrote from 7-11 with hardly a pause.
A new kitty i named pancake, he ran to the street and got run over, flat as a pancake. My neighbor said hang him on your wall. I said that’s disgusting, but i like it. I went back to the shelter and got another kitty, I named him nail.
How to buy a car on disability(pretty good) a soldier returning from Afghanistan missing his left arm and ptsd. va said you’ll have to wait a long time. He shot 15 congressmen. (I like that one) on and on. it’s fun sometimes. kind of like drinking a bottle of tequila and vomiting on the cops uniform as he’s about to lock you up. I’ll stop now.
Wow,you psychic Natasha?
First my New Years resolutions resembled the healthy place ones you’d previously listed.
Even before reading them.
Then I realized wtf.
I just want to be better,simple as that but as hard work as that entails.
Put my health first,learn it’s ok to not worry over others.
I’m not responsible for anyone else but me ( & my cat)
So,yep,I’m a fighter you bet.
My course on handling powerful feelings starts next Thursday.
My new counsellor is talking to my former counsellors were I fit into the system…( I’ve graduated fr previous level)
Call me nxt week w an answer….
Already,I can see changes,I do things the easiest & most efficient way my brain allows me to.
I don’t care if someone watches me shopping,I can’t control them.
Old joke resolutions are made to be broken!
Anyway,HAPPY new YEAR NATASHA!
WISHING you GOOD health AND happiness now we’ve journeyed into 2014.
Thank you for all your valuable information and I’ve enjoyed all your blogging extensively.
Looking forward to more!
STAY well,
FOR you
And YOUR FELLOW bipolar FOLLOWERS: MODEL of the year ( bipolar that is…awwwww…)
Ciao….
Hi Sandra,
I’m not psychic but a lot of people think I am ;)
I think it’s just that so many of us are in the same place and thinking the same thoughts and somehow I encapsulate that. Psychic? Definitely not. But in touch with the bipolar meme? Probably.
– Natasha Tracy
Three weeks felt like a man. Now must fight everyday from the nitrogen/helium tanks and the 9mm. This crazy train never stops. If I as much loose my knee again I’m homeless and my cat of nine years is dead. This wll not last long and I wll be donel
I relate so well to this post. I have had a horrible year, mentally speaking. My symptoms are off the charts again, so much so that my doctor dismissed me from her treatment, saying there was nothing else she could do for me. I didn’t even realize doctors did that, but three cheers for naivety! I lost all hope for a while and contemplated unthinkable things, but then I created a little hope out of nothing (how I’m not sure, perhaps it was just mania) and decided to set forth some simple goals for myself this year. They are things that will be easy enough to attain (all I have to do is actually DO them!) and just by doing them it will surely to goodness give me some sort of booster into the realm of happiness and achievement. Yet, I know there’s always a chance I will NOT do these things, and that will set me up for an even worse outlook on life and my illness. That’s why I rarely ever set these nifty little resolutions. But this year, I feel like it’s a do or die kind of thing. I need this push like I’ve never needed it before. I can’t let myself down. And that’s why I’m not working toward goals that will change the way I look or how I am perceived by others. I am working toward health and stability. Of course my kids can only benefit from my success. Of course others may be happy for my success. But more than anything, I need to prove to myself that I am still alive and not just going through the motions of survival. I don’t even need to get it all right. I just have to try.
Amy.
Doctors can dismiss you. Some do it in strange ways. Just last week I was told by my Pdoc that “I have alot to offer you”. I have been going to him for 4 years now. I asked him what? I have tried almost everything. He made me feel like I was in a candy store. I can offer you the red or the green, etc. It was his way of telling me he doesn’t have a freaking clue anymore and when I have questions for him he now gets nasty with me. Meanwhile my wife and I are in tears because I am doing worse. He looks at me and says. “life handed you a real bad hand”. I knew right then it was over. I have no idea what to do next. As far as your resolutions, maybe you should call them “ideas”. Personally, My idea is to somehow have my brain work with me and allow me 1 week of normalcy so I can deal with so many issues that I cant deal with right now. “i don’t even know what normalcy is anymore but it sure isn’t this. May 2014 be a better one for all of us.
Happy New Year, Natasha.
Thanks Phil :)