It’s pretty common to deny you have bipolar disorder, before, and even during diagnosis of bipolar disorder. None of us wants to be sick, and none of us wants to be crazy-sick (sick-crazy, crazy and sick?). And it can take us a long time to come to terms with living with a mental illness like bipolar disorder.
Deny You Have Bipolar Disorder?
But sometimes, worse is the fact that those around us want to deny, or want us to deny, our bipolar disorder. They want us not to talk about bipolar, or to “control the symptoms of bipolar” or they just don’t believe in mental illness or treat it like a disease at all.
So earlier this week I wrote a piece at Breaking Bipolar about Bipolar and Denial. (Hint, I’m not for it.)
When I was first diagnosed in 2006 (I was 24 years old) I was in denial. I kept saying that bipolar was commonly misdiagnosed and that it was just depression due to my rough life, but after about 5 doctors all gave the same diagnosis, I finally came to terms a couple years later and finally have accepted it within the past year or so. The reason I denied it for so long was because my family said that it was an excuse and it wasn’t as severe as I made it seem, so I really didn’t have much support.
Hi Jessica,
Ah yes, the “you’re just being dramatic” response of family. I know it well. It sure doesn’t help a person, no.
Unfortunately, when those around us don’t believe us it does lead to our own denial and we then are left trying to dig ourselves out of it. Glad you did :) It might have taken five doctors, but you got there and that’s no small thing.
– Natasha Tracy
Natasha, thanks for the refreshing site. i looked all over on google for this question for a member on one site who’s husband cannot accept her bipolar. this denial is far less frequent, as you mentioned, than the denial of the person with bipolar. anyway, at least i have linked our member (who is on our facebook group – “On A Bipolar’s Mind”) to your site.
bless you and stay strong.
peter guess
p.s.
1. i have bipolar, am a practicing social worker and addictions counsellor.
2. i have some free bipolar ebooks on my site, with a new one launched yesterday, 30.04.2012. go to my blog page for direct link without having to join as a member. a launch special.
Hi Peter,
Thanks. I’m glad I could help. Thanks for the link.
– Natasha Tracy
My Mom wanted to deny I was bipolar, and tried to make me deny it. Till it got so bad that my husband called her at the end of his rope, and said I can’t take care of me and our son. My mom told him to look for a job, and bring us home, she’s straighten me out.
That was two and a half years ago. And it took less than a week before mom realized I needed major help. But even then, it tool almost a year before she became accepting that there was not any fix for me. That my meds and counseling help, they are never going to make me “normal”. And she still has a hard time admitting it.
Of course, with the irony that some times works in our favor, every time she starts thinking I’m going to be “OK” now, something happens like I get the stomach flu of food poisoning, and I can’t keep any meds down for 2-3 days, and it takes 2 weeks to get me back to therapeutic levels, and then she remembers denying what is wrong with me is a very, very bad idea.
Monica
Hi Monica,
Yes, a number of people denied my illness, and wanted me to deny it too. That’s all too common I’m afraid. It sounds to me like you’ve cleared that one right up, however.
I love the idea of “straightening” bipolar out. If that were possible I’d be on your mother’s doorstep right now!
Thanks for the comment.
– Natasha Tracy
Now that's a funny image. Thanks for that :)
I don't think anyone close to me has ever been in denial about my diagnosis but they sure had a lot of opinions in the beginning…not very nice ones either! If I jumped on an actual horse every time someone in my family told me to "get back on the horse" I would be terminally bow-legged!!!