Fear of pain is normal and natural but I think an acute fear of depression’s pain actually makes depression worse; and of course, this is something that none of us want. But how does fear make pain worse? Can you get over fearing depression’s pain?
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Bipolar and anger may or may not be linked. It appears they are and many people would assert they are, but as anger is not, technically, a symptom of bipolar disorder as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, it’s hard to say anything definitive about it. Nevertheless, anger and bipolar disorder have been on my mind lately because I do feel very angry. So why are so many people with bipolar disorder so angry?
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If you knew me, you would know that I smile a lot. I fake smile a lot as a bipolar depression coping skill. Even when I’m quite depressed, I smile around others to hide. I would consider this to be pretty normal for people with a mental illness and even people without it. After all, how many people are hiding grief or heartbreak, for example, behind a smile?
But then there’s when I’m alone. I actually smile when I’m alone. When I was walking alone on the street this morning, I smiled at the moon. (I love when it’s out in the morning.) Somehow, seeing the moon created a smile on my face. Why is that? Why is it when I’m depressed I still smile when I’m alone?
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I know to some people, saying that bipolar, schizophrenia and depression are genetic is like saying the sky is blue. We know that these illnesses are genetic. It’s obvious. It’s also pretty obvious (to, me, anyway) that bipolar disorder, depression and schizophrenia overlap in some ways. Nonetheless, some people require yet more proof. Well, welcome to some more proof. Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression (and actually autism and alcoholism) are genetic and these illnesses’ genes even overlap. Yes, we bipolars are genetically linked to our brothers and sisters with other psychiatric disorders.
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I realize I need to recognize the real me who has bipolar disorder and not the idealized me that, theoretically, does not. What I need to recognize, to deal with, is the me of today and not the me before bipolar disorder or the me of five years ago. Things change. I have changed dramatically and what I’m capable of has changed too. I need to recognize this in everyday life. I need to work with the current, real, bipolar me and not the me I wish I were.
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Many people hate drug companies and I totally get why. I spent years hating drug companies. But I’ve changed. I don’t hate drug companies anymore and I don’t think you should either.
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For many of us, we are expected to be fat and happy on bipolar medication. This is because many...
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If you have a bad bipolar day, you might wonder what you did wrong yesterday to cause it. I know I feel this way. I know I look for causes. And I know it feels like it’s my fault. I feel like I must have done something wrong to cause the bad bipolar day. It feels like a punishment for screwing up the previous day.
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My bipolar makes me feel so angry, but I know I’m not. I know I’m not really angry. I know that the signals that I’m angry are coming from my sick, bipolar brain. But I feel very angry anyway. I can’t make the anger go away, even through notable insight. It’s so frustrating and the existence of the anger, and my inability to make it go away, makes me even madder.
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