Category: Bipolar blog

What to do if a Person Threatens Suicide on Facebook

Facing Suicide Threats on Social Media

I’m pretty connected on Facebook, Twitter and on social media in general. I have to be. It’s important for my career.

And as such I have almost 20,000 followers on various platforms. This is a whole lot of people to be exposed to on a daily basis. And due to my profession, I run into many people with mental illness on my Facebook, Twitter and other feeds. And sometimes the people on these feeds are in distress. Distressed to the point where they threaten suicide.

But what do you do if someone threatens suicide on Facebook, Twitter or otherwise?

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Becoming an Empowered Loved One – An E-Patient’s Best Friend

Recently I discussed a little about what it means to be an e-patient. An e-patient is someone who is empowered, engaged, equipped and enabled (and many other things depending on who you ask). In short, an e-patient is someone who is fully engaged in making mental health treatment decisions.

Now, I am the first person to say that being an e-patient isn’t always possible for a person with mental illness. Often, dealing with the day-to-day slog that is living with a mental illness is quite enough pressure, thank-you, without having to put an “e” in front of your title.

E-Partners, E-Parents, E-Friends

However, even if becoming an uber-patient isn’t on your shortlist of things to do, your loved ones can also become empowered. They can become e-partners or e-parents or e-friends, if you like. And adding an “e” in front of their title can help them to feel less helpless in the face of a daunting illness that they cannot control.

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How to Research Bipolar Disorder or another Mental Illness

When you or someone you love is diagnosed with a mental illness like bipolar disorder, likely, you don’t know much about the mental illness outside of what the media and popular culture has told you. Unfortunately, these are not the best sources of information about bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia or other mental illnesses.

Mental Health Research

What is critical is that you take it upon yourself to research the mental illness so you can get the facts and not believe the fictions propagated about mental illness. If you’re here at the Bipolar Burble, and reading this, you’ve made an excellent start but I encourage you to continue with these other trusted research options.

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What to Do When Someone Tells You They Have a Mental Illness

It’s extremely difficult to tell someone you have a mental illness. No one really likes a conversation that’s along the lines, of, “Hi. How’s the family? Did you know I have a possibly fatal, lifelong condition?”

It’s kind of a bummer.

But telling someone you have a mental illness is hard on the person you tell too. It’s not just hard to give the news; it’s hard to receive it. In fact, most people have no idea what to say upon hearing that someone has a mental illness. They may not know anything about the mental illness or only know what the media tells them – that people with mental illnesses are dangerous and scary. And while that may not be accurate, if it’s the only thing the person has ever heard, you can’t really blame them for acting negatively – at least initially.

So if someone tells you they have a mental illness, what should you do?

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The Reason You Shouldn’t Get Angry

There are very few times in life when I think it’s appropriate to be “mad.” It happens, without doubt, but generally I don’t find it very insightful or helpful. There’s always something underneath the anger. Usually it has to do with the desire to be loved. If you track the feeling back, like really, really back, that is what you’ll find.

  • Wife screams at husband for leaving socks on the floor for the 18th time.
  • Wife is angry because she doesn’t feel like her husband is listening to her.
  • Wife wants to be listened to so that she’ll feel important to her husband.
  • Wife wants to feel important to her husband so that she’ll know he loves her.
  • Wife wants to know he loves her so she knows he’ll stay around.
  • Wife is afraid of being left by husband.
  • Wife is afraid of being unloved.

That’ll be $3000 in therapy bills, please.

There’s No Point Getting Mad About Socks

So you see, there’s no point in getting mad about socks. Just skip down a bit and talk about wanting to be listened to and feel important. The husband has more of a chance of understanding what’s going on that way. The husband has more of a chance of understanding why socks matter. When of course, socks don’t matter at all.

Other people don’t feel this way. Other people seem intent on yelling about socks. I get it; I’m weird; I’m crazy; I don’t perceive the world the way everyone else does. And I really don’t perceive whyfor all the yelling about socks.

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When You Leave Someone with a Mental Illness

I’ve written about the fact that sometimes you have to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness for the sake of your own health and sometimes even for the sake of the person with the mental illness. I believe this even though the person is sick and the sickness is not his (or her) fault.

This post has been met with relief by some and anger by others.

Some are relieved that someone is finally talking about their reality while others are appalled that I would suggest leaving someone for an illness that is not his fault.

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I’m Too Tired to Keep Fighting Bipolar Disorder

I’ve written about why you should keep fighting the pain of depression and bipolar disorder before. This is one of my most referred to articles, actually, as I think it makes a solid anti-suicide argument and is something to remember when you’re overwhelmed with the pain of depression and mental illness.

But a commenter said something I think many people would say about fighting bipolar disorder:

. . . but I’m too tired to fight bipolar disorder. . .

Yeah. I understand. I’ve felt too tired for years.

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Should More Mentally Ill People Be Institutionalized?

Once upon a time there were places known as insane asylums. These were not pleasant places, by and large, but they were places where the “insane” (or mentally ill, as we now say) could live and receive some level of support. Insane asylums made a lot of sense because we didn’t have a lot of treatment to offer those who were too “insane” to live in the general population.

Fast-forward to the 1960s. By this time we understood mental illness a lot better and had developed antipsychotics and lithium that effectively treated many of the types of “insanity” that would have previously forced institutionalization. A movement of de-institutionalization spread wherein mental health services were moved into the community for people to access while living with the general population.

And while this sounds like a good and humane idea; I’m pretty sure we’ve gone too far with it.

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I write a three-time Web Health Award winning column for HealthyPlace called Breaking Bipolar.

Also, find my writings on The Huffington Post and my work for BPHope (BP Magazine).

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