depression Archives - Page 5 of 8 - Bipolar Burble Blog

When to Give In and Let Someone Commit Suicide?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 10, 2015

Is there really a question as to when to give in and let someone commit suicide? According to some commenters and a recent email I received, there sure is.

This morning, I received an email saying that I was “promoting torture” by telling people not to commit suicide. According to the emailer:

I’m not clear on why this blog makes people feel that ending one’s suffering is not an option…and in fact is a wrong thing to do….?

Don’t we all have choices? If we’ve done all we can and life is absolute hell, then why convince people to continue to live such lives?!

So the question is, is there really a time when you should give in and just let someone commit suicide?

Depression – Can You Choose to Be Happy?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Mar 5, 2015

Have you heard? You can choose to be happy. That’s right. If you’re sitting around right now all depressed and unhappy it’s just because you’re not choosing the right path. You’re not choosing to be happy.

I find this concept to be absolute hokum and incredibly insulting to anyone with depression – an actual brain disorder.

Exaggerated Physical Pain Because of Bipolar Depression

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 25, 2014

I have mentioned several times that bipolar depression isn’t just mental, depression involves physical pain too. And when I talk about the physical pain of depression, I mean idiopathic pain (pain that appears “without reason” (with the reason, of course, being bipolar depression)). But there’s another part of pain that is a part of depression and that’s real, physical pain that has been exaggerated by the depression.

Calming the Cycle of Anxiety and Bipolar Depression

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 14, 2014

The Bipolar Burble is extremely honoured to introduce today’s guest author: Ross Szabo. Ross and I met when he introduced me when I won the Erasing the Stigma Leadership award earlier this year. Ross is a past recipient and an inspiring mental health speaker and, well, human being. Read below how he has learned to calm his bipolar depression by recognizing anxiety.

I was an anxious person before my diagnosis of bipolar disorder with anger control problems and psychotic features. Needless to say after my diagnosis, my anxiety did not improve. It took a lot of years of extreme alcohol abuse, broken knuckles, sleeplessness, hallucination-filled nights and dangerous behaviors until I was able to find ways to balance my disorder.

Anxiety seems to be at the root, or heavily tied to, every mood I have with bipolar disorder. One of the most dangerous cycles I have gone through is when anxiety swings in to contribute to constant thoughts of death and suicide. Overwhelming anxiety or crippling depression are hard enough to face separately. When they combine the results can be tragic.

Parties and the Cost of Bipolar Depression

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 8, 2014

Today is the day I did not go to my friend’s bachelorette party. Today is the day I cried uncontrollably about not going to my friend’s bachelorette party.

Do you know what hell is to me? One version of hell is being at a party with a bunch of beautiful people that I don’t know having to make inane conversation and pretend to be thrilled to be there. Anhedonia isn’t thrilled to be anywhere.

Bipolar Is About Physical Pain Too

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 19, 2014

I was describing the physical pain of bipolar disorder to a friend of mine and she acted surprised. She said, with great shock, “It physically hurts?”

Yes, bipolar disorder is about physical pain as much as it is about mental anguish.

Depression: ‘I’m Happy for You’ When You Can’t Feel Happy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 11, 2014

A few years ago a good friend of mind got married. She was a beautiful bride. I thought she looked like she just walked out of a bridal magazine. And she was an extremely happy bride too. I think it couldn’t have been a better day and situation for her.

I was one of her bridesmaids. This was extremely hard on me as, at the time, I was in a major depression and I couldn’t feel happiness. I was anhedonic. I couldn’t feel positive emotions of any sort. And to see my radiant friend be deliriously happy and get married to a wonderful man was just too much for me. It made my depression so much worse. I just couldn’t feel happy for her because I couldn’t feel happy at all. All I felt was incredibly upset for me.

I Hate ‘Having Fun’

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 23, 2014

You know what I hate? I hate the concept of “having fun.” I hate the pressure to “have fun.” I hate the notion that so much of what we do is to “have fun.” Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge others their fun. They should have as much of it as they like. But for me, trying to have fun is just a big chore (or a big lie).

So I’m here, in Parma, Italy and I’m supposed to be chill-axing and “having fun.” Italy is a fun place, after all. All you need to do is stumble from gelato stand to pizza bar to have a good time.

But here’s the thing: I don’t have fun.

I don’t. I’m depressed. I’m anhedonic. I’m apathetic. I don’t have fun. I just don’t.

It’s not that I don’t want it, or that I wouldn’t have it if I could, it’s just that I can’t.

Depression – Worse Than Sadness, Apathy

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 17, 2014

In my life depression is the worst thing in the world. Depression takes away everything from me. It tends to destroy love, life, work, everything.

And while this is due to the symptoms of depression like, “depressed mood,” it’s also due to something not mentioned in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM, the manual that defines mental illnesses) – apathy. Apathy basically means that you don’t care about anything. And when you do a “care-ectcomy” on a life, it makes it seem not worth living at all.