mixed-mood Archives - Natasha Tracy Bipolar Expert

Stop Telling Me I’m Not Crazy — A Bipolar Mixed Mood and Hiding Insanity

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 20, 2022

The following is indicative of a mixed mood. These are not necessarily my exact thoughts when I’m thinking more clearly.

It’s days like today when I’d like to punch anyone in the face who says I’m not crazy. I’m crazy. I’m CRAY-ZEE. I know you can’t see it, but if you were in my brain right now, it would be crystal clear to you. I’m feeling so crazy, in fact, that I suspect another person would think they were psychotic if they had to deal with the brain I currently have. I know this is not psychosis, though. I know this is a brutal, unfair, horrific bipolar mixed mood.

Bipolar Mood Up, Bipolar Mood Down — The Zigzag Mood

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 25, 2018

Bipolar moods go up and bipolar moods go down. This is true. I think, though, bipolar moods also go sideways. And diagonally. So while I know the typical metaphor used with bipolar moods is a rollercoaster (I’ve used it, we all do), recently, my bipolar moods feel like more of a zigzag with rapid, hairpin turns. Yes, this is the bipolar zigzag mood.

Severe Agitation – Bipolar Symptom or Medication Side Effect?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Mar 21, 2018

I am suffering from severe bipolar-related agitation. Or is it severe medication-related agitation? This is the question. Technically, it’s mostly a question for your doctor, but it’s one I struggle with, too. On one level, it doesn’t much matter what’s causing the agitation as it’s happening and that’s that; and on the other hand, I think it’s important to know what’s driving the agitation – a bipolar symptom or a medication side effect?

Bipolar and the Burden of Mood Self-Monitoring

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 17, 2017

I’ve talked about mood tracking before but, really, mood tracking starts with mood self-monitoring. In other words, there is nothing to track if you don’t know what’s going on in the first place. If you can’t say that you’re anxious, for example, then how are you going to track how anxious you are? But mood self-monitoring sucks because it’s a 24-hour-a day, seven-days-a-week kind-of-a-thing. With bipolar disorder, you never get a break from mood self-monitoring.

What Bipolar Mixed Moods Really Feel Like

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 4, 2017

I’ve written a lot about bipolar mixed moods but not necessarily what bipolar mixed moods actually feel like. While it’s true mixed moods exist in bipolar I and bipolar II and it’s true mixed moods tend to worsen psychomotor agitation and increase the risk of suicide, this doesn’t tell you how bipolar mixed moods actually feel. This is different for everyone, but here is a window into how I experience mixed moods.

I Know I’m Hypomanic, Depressed or Mixed but I Can’t Help It

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 30, 2016

Many of us have the insight to know when we are manic, hypomanic or depressed or in another bipolar mood state but, unfortunately, even though I might know I’m hypomanic, depressed or mixed, I can’t necessarily help it. I wish I could. I wish that knowing what my bipolar disorder was doing would somehow alter it, but it typically doesn’t. I just can’t help it when I’m hypomanic, depressed or in a mixed mood – even when it’s clear to me.

Win a Paperback Copy of “Lost Marbles” — GoodReads Giveaway

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 14, 2016

If you’re on my mailing list you head last week that a GoodReads giveaway was started. Right now I’m giving away three paperback copies of Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar.

The Underside of Bipolar Rapid Cycling Moods

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 28, 2016

I mentioned on Facebook recently that I’m rapid cycling. If I ever wondered if the bipolar diagnosis was accurate, the bipolar cycling moods have certainly convinced me that it is. If you’re curious, this is ultradian cycling — i.e. cycling where moods last only hours. That can also be classified as a mixed mood because the cycles are so short.

All of this is to say that I’m not well right now. It’s fine. I’ve seen my psychiatrist, we have a plan and I’m working the plan. But the plan takes time, as all plans do.

So while the plan portends usefulness, I am stuck on the rollercoaster from hell. And in this particularly hellish place I wrote this piece. It is not cheery, it would trigger some and if you’re having a bad day these are not the 300 words for you. Proceed with caution

Bipolar Symptom Psychomotor Agitation, Mixed Moods and Suicide

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 21, 2014

Last year, I wrote an article on psychomotor agitation at HealthyPlace. Psychomotor agitation (or retardation) is a symptom of bipolar (and unipolar) depression as well as hypomania/mania and very little information about it is available (in spite of the fact that it is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness (DSM-5)).

Most definitions for psychomotor agitation include the words, “inner restlessness.” I don’t know about you, but “inner restlessness” reminds me of a 22-year-old who can’t find himself and so is backpacking across the country. It really doesn’t sound like a mental illness symptom – let alone like a serious one.

But, as it turns out, psychomotor agitation is serious, highly indicative of a bipolar mixed episode and correlated with suicidal acts.