Category: bipolar disorder

I hate hope. I really do. Every time I feel it, I try to squelch it. And there’s a good reason for this. Hope leads to disappointment, and disappointment leads to depression and suffering. You may think I’m being negative here, but I’m not. I’m being realistic and speaking from experience. If you have treatment-resistant bipolar disorder (or anything else), you know what I mean. I feel like hope is a mirage that ends up clobbering me about the ear, nose, and throat. I hate hope, and hope is dangerous. But there it is, again and again. So, I’ve tried to find ways to manage my hope such that its benefits can persist without its negatives killing me.