The Bipolar Burble blog welcomes Missy Douglas Ph.D, a British artist and writer with bipolar disorder who works under the studio name ucki ood. Her latest project, the 2:365 Art Book, is available now on Kickstarter.
It’s a commonly held belief that there are close links between bipolar disorder and the creative voice. If you just type the words “bipolar” and “artist” into any Internet search engine, the names of Vincent Van Gogh, Jackson Pollock and even Michelangelo scream out at you like the painted hero of alleged fellow sufferer, Edvard Munch.
Much as I hesitate to mention myself in the same breath as these four great artists, I do believe this theory to be true. As a girl, I walked the unstable line between anxiety and precociousness. If I was charming and witty, I was also withdrawn, furious and conceited in equal measure. Yet one thing was unerringly constant: the crayon in my hand. Despite various professional flirtations, what I was to become – an artist – was never really in question. By the time I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 19, it didn’t really come as a shock. I was an artist, and all artists were “crazy,” right?
Bipolar Suffering for Art
In a letter to his brother in 1888, Van Gogh wrote, “the more I become dissipated, ill, a broken pitcher, the more I too become a creative artist.”
Van Gogh’s troubled words lend weight to the romantic and enduring notion that artists are brooding and temperamental, only producing great work if they suffer or face adversity. While this is not a universal truth, I certainly feel that my art and my bipolar disorder have always been intertwined. The white periods of numbing despair are channeled into my work. When my body buzzes and my thoughts surge and scurry, I am filled with unparalleled creative energy and intellectual clarity. My butterfly mind can make singular connections others cannot, and when I depersonalize, I see the world from different planes and angles. Experiences, whether good or bad, are analyzed on canvas and in polyurethane: plaster-clad glory. For me, being bipolar both disables with ferocity and enables like nothing on earth.
The Secrecy of Bipolar Disorder
Yet despite embracing my symptoms, I kept my mouth shut and donned my cloak of “normality.” In a world where acknowledging imperfection is tantamount to failure, I held back for fear of being rejected or, worse still, regarded as melodramatic. I am reluctant to admit that I am an artist at the best of times. I didn’t want to add “self-absorbed” to the “pretentious artistic asshole” label I already wore. I got on with my life and dealt with the highs and lows in ashamed secrecy.
365 Days of Bipolar Art
All that changed on January 1st, 2013. A long 17 years after diagnosis, I decided it was now time to reveal my condition to my family and friends. Each day, for the entirety of the year, I would paint a canvas. Completed wherever I happened to be in the world, each painting would reflect my emotional and psychological state – mania, depression or stability – over that 24-hour period. The aim was not only to give people a glimpse into my life as an artist, but also to provide a candid visual record of the personal day-to-day creative journey of someone living with bipolar disorder. Opening myself up in such a public way was petrifying, yet what resulted was a collection of 365 paintings that had more emotional power and capacity to challenge stigma than I could ever have imagined.
Now, the 2:365 Art Book, featuring all 365 images, is on the point of being published. (Help me get this work out into the world via my Kickstarter campaign.) When I look back over the paintings, I recognize the shifting patterns of my bipolar disorder through coded colors and forms. For the first time, I appreciate that living in the eye of the bipolar storm is exhausting for both me and those cast in its shadow. But most importantly, the project as a whole reinforces my belief that creative endeavor can be therapeutic in dealing with, or at least helping us understand, the idiosyncrasies of the disease. And that having the courage to come out as a bipolar sufferer is one of the most important things you can do because it can encourage and empower others to do the same.
Missy Douglas Ph.D is a British artist and writer who divides her time between New York City and Seattle. She works with fellow artist Kim Rask, under the studio name ucki ood. Their latest project, the 2:365 Art Book, is available now on Kickstarter through March 5th. Please check out the campaign: pledge if you can and spread the word!
Wow. What happened here? I was hoping to have a discussion about creativity and being bipolar. I am a 54 year old musician, with absolute pitch. ( I recently read that a scientist has concluded that absolute pitch is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain! ) I started studying when I was 4, tormented my entire life, and was finally diagnosed last summer. But it seems that this discussion has taken another turn.
Well, if anyone is interested, please leave a post.
Hi Ruth,
Yes, things took an unfortunate turn. However…
I, too, have been creative all my life (in different ways throughout – no perfect pitch but lots of music). Perfect pitch is an interesting thing because (as you know, I’m sure) it’s something you’re born with – you can’t learn it. It would be very interesting to see if there’s any relation between it and mental illness.
I hope being diagnosed has been a positive experience for you and has helped you get treatment that ends your torment.
– Natasha Tracy
Thank you, Natasha, for your reply. The interesting thing about perfect pitch, is that my mother had it too, yet she was not a musician. She had horrible mood swings which makes me wonder if she had been bipolar as well.
Also, when I was taking Tegretol, it CHANGED my perfect pitch by a half step, which drove me nuts, and I had to stop taking it. That was challenging trying to explain to my doctor. So, I think there must me a connection in the balance of the brain chemistry somewhere.
I have not found peace since being diagnosed; it’s very difficult trying to get doctors to listen and spend the necessary time to prescribe the right drugs. A constant battle. Thank you for asking and for publishing this ongoing article.
Hi Ruth,
I do believe that perfect pitch runs in families and so does bipolar, so who knows?
That’s an interesting note about tegretol. I’ve never heard of that, but that’s not surprising as perfect pitch, in and of itself, is pretty rare.
I never know if this is a hopeful or a hopeless piece of information, but I can tell you that it can often take (on average) 2 years to find medication that will successfully stabilize you. We all want it way faster, of course, but it takes time. Try to work with your doctors in the best way you can and be patient. (Easier said than done, I know.)
What I do know is hopeful though, is that if you weren’t diagnosed, then you wouldn’t be treated, then you wouldn’t even have the opportunity of getting better – so you’re moving in a positive direction.
– Natasha Tracy
Ruth, thank you for getting this post back on topic! Apparently the drug valproate helps with acquiring perfect pitch as well as fluency in languages in adults (http://bit.ly/1g6caNO). So I wonder if there is a connection between bipolar and language fluency. Anecdotally I know of a few people with bipolar that are very adept at languages.
Anyway, I do hope people take time to check out the book!
Hi Kim (and )Natasha,
Thank you very much for your comment and the link regarding valproate; how incredibly fascinating!! That explains a lot.
I have no idea what it is like to paint a canvas every day, could you describe it to me?
I would like to do a similar study with my viola, but I simply cannot imagine playing a major concerto every single day for a year; it would kill me. Most days, I cannot even take the instrument out of the case. But then there are days like last Tuesday, when I went to my Pa. Ballet orchestra rehearsal for the Tchaikovsky Serenade for Strings and my body and soul, which had been dormant for over a year, came alive with such clarity of precision and forceful passion that I actually felt lifted out of my chair and transported to a much greater place, that I actually felt like I was where I needed to be. I know, sounds crazy, but it was such an incredible experience, and I got to experience it again for 7 more performances, which completely depleted me. It has taken me five days to recover.
I would be very interested in collaborating with you, and with my fellow musicians who are bipolar, etc… , to do a daily study the same way you would paint a canvas, only it would involve music and perhaps the darker emotions of which some of us don’t wish to face.
Would this interest you? If not, can you point me in the right direction?
Thank you!
Ruth
Hi Ruth, I’m one half of ucki ood but Missy is the one that painted all the canvasses, not me. I do know that it was a tremendous amount of work and very difficult at times. I’m not sure where you would look to find people to collaborate with. Perhaps one of the bipolar forums?
I don’t think your experience was crazy at all! Good art has the ability to move people like that. A recent James Turrell installation left me speechless and crying, it was that beautiful.
Kim
Hi all,
I appreciate those who say I should censor racist comments. I don’t though, as I don’t censor hate in general. What I do censor is hatred directed at a specific person (personal attacks). Small-minded, bigoted, prejudiced and racist people have a right to voice their opinion, just as I have a right to voice mine. This does not mean that I, in any way, agree with them.
If I started censoring every hateful word, it would be difficult for people to speak to each other at all. (In saying that though, there _is_ a line.)
– Natasha Tracy
Natasha I have read and appreciated your blog for years. I have participated in discussions and read countless others remarks, both hateful and otherwise. I appreciate that you may not be able to moderate every comment. But to deliberately allow voice to racism is something I cannot tolerate. It is with great sadness that I take my leave from this and other blogs of yours, for an indefinite period.
Sarah, I guess you won’t read this as you have exited. This is what I must say though. I think you should grow up. Learn how to listen to people and respond to them. This world doesn’t and shouldn’t protect everything that goes into your ears. Learn to deal with it, process it and respond to it. If you think it is absurd or otherwise ignore it. Now you wont know what this clown has to say and what he is up to. Grow up and stop burying your head in the sand.
I have been reading the comments here on and off for awhile and can say that Sarah not only contributes valuable insights, she is quite gracious and considers what someone has to say, though she may not necessarily agree with it. I have even stopped to consider her viewpoints, even though I may disagree with her, and I am sure others have as well. The ability to do this is a sign of a mature exchange of views. There are a number of comments from her throughout this blog that clearly demonstrates this, despite others’ opinions to the contrary. Furthermore, she responds without attacking anyone. Even her comment taking her leave is straightforward and to the point.
The funny thing about this off-track discussion is in the end, someone who did not contribute anything useful at all is unwittingly defended, and someone who does – and had the balls to call this person out on their rubbish – is not. I would side with Sarah in this respect. When someone makes a negative comment about someone personally (and has the gall to include her first name – btw, why wasn’t this moderated out?), incites negative views about a racial group, disrespects that person’s family, and increases stigma – all in one post – they need to be called out, if only to keep the integrity of the discussion.
Upon reading his rant, I’m willing to bet said wife probably left him for other reasons aside from the one he has stated.
I don’t want to extend this silly discussion further. I just wanted to say that Sarah’s viewpoints – which were hardly narrow-minded nor immature – will be missed.
Now, to be on topic: the painting included in this post is interesting. It has a very dream like quality to it and appears to be a snapshot of an early dawn view – a view I presume is not witnessed by many, therefore making it an intimate scene that the artist is sharing. I could be wrong here, but that is my subjective view of it anyway.
thank you judy, you made some good points. i do not know sarah, but i think this one guy came in here to cause trouble and he did. i was disturbed that his wife’s name was used as well and that should be deleted, we do not know if his name is real so maybe it does not matter. just from what he said told us a lot about his character and that it very well could be that HE was the trouble and not she. sorry, off topic i know.
i do not like censorship as will stated, but sometimes it is not black and white. natasha has censored other things that i feel should not have been, but this mean spirited hurtful persons comments on many levels are left on so i am a bit confused. i know it is not my site and i do not make the rules. so be it. sad to see someone who has contributed in kind and thoughtful ways leave because of one person’s idiocy; unfortunately they are out there and we have to live with them. i am so very sorry, but this imo, this one persons remarks are not helpful to anyone, they just hurt. it is bullying and not to have the moderators support really upsets me too. i will not leave the site because it is very helpful on many levels, but this really does make me question.
I think you are confusing your wife with bi-polar people in general as I am bi-polar and have very few traits in common with your wife. I greatly value fidelity, honesty and integrity. I as well think you seem to make these assumptions on many groups. I as well believe there is a very high connection between ” book smarts ” and ” street smarts “. Most people I have know anecdotally over the year seem to use that argument as an excuse for not thinking, reading, reasoning etc. In short a street smart response. Agree with others on here that you are very ignorant of the illnesses you speak of are and how they effect different individuals. Someone with bi-polar or another mental illness is no more like everyone else with the same disease as are all black, white, christian or others are. They may by definition or otherwise share some common traits with each other. For the most part though they are no more alike then say two Asian, Homosexuals, masonry workers etc. are. It is one part of them and that part is the main focus for those not in that group. I think you are just pis___( self- censorship). Natasha may block it ? As well I don’t think you are being sincere and a bit dismissive. I suggest maybe a little ” book learnin'” as this may teach you something and lead you off the road of labeling people. As to how you aren’t prejudicial etc. my marrying this one individual. Your lust at the moment doesn’t really prove your pt. Question: if you understand bi-polar so much, why did it take you a couple years to figure out your wife was the devil. Sounds a little more like a real relationship then anything else. Maybe it’s you who could use some street smarts. Signed, someone who has played both games and likes the intellectual method better. Not always perfect though. Like when pis___ as you are. Hope you can look a little deeper and stop labeling people so quickly.
So glad your smart academically , academic smartness does not equal raw intelligence nor common sense , You for sure have an ego problem and can not take an open conversation without being offended , this shows a serious lack of understanding from someone supposedly so intelligent . My wife also is a perfect 4.0 student
Ever notice how every one online is tall, beautiful, wealthy, important and has a 4.0 etc. Interesting isn’t it. I am one of those people who isn’t I’m just a man who has some strong pts. and some weak.
You are exactly right 100% , my idea of normal is different from your idea of normal , it is supposed to be different . Trained experts are often not so called experts and every Neuro will have a different opinion on the same situation or circumstances . this is my observation not yours . The Victims see Bi polar people different than a Bi polar person sees himself . Victims are supposed to have different opinions because of many factors . Our minds can absorb multiple tasks and Multiple concepts all at the same time , nothing is ever as simple as it appears to be .
If I were a racist why would I have married my wife ? I do not know any true racist . But I see people everyday that are judged prematurely without the slightest known details . People have the right to have different opinions and yet are not extremist , it is simply an observation . Opinions are temporary observations , but they may legitimately change over the course of time , we actually have the ability to analyze complex issues.
Perhaps you are so young , have not had children , have not held a full time job for long periods of time , and experienced life to its fullest and you pre judge based on immaturity , which is extremely common Nowadays as no body ever researches anything anymore .
There are many wonderful Bi polar people that are doing everything they can to function with their wife or husband or with their family . And there are those that do not care at all what happens . To them if their marriage is destroyed , or if their children have no truly wonderful mentor or Care giver , then they are just as happy . But to the victims of the Bi polar person it is a horrible existence and often is not a marriage . Many friends tell me I am not in a marriage , I am in an existence . DAHHH your right , any idiot can see that . Now do you have the ability to walk away from your children knowing something terrible is going to happen to them because your wife is crazy ? And know that all of her family is crazy makes it even worse .
Selfishness comes in all forms , those that abandon their children like so many Black Males that I have seen are sending messages to society , this is whom we are, this is what we are , this is how it is . I choose to live with a crazy woman in order to save the children . It is not easy to say the least being married to a Bi Polar person whom is also void of emotions , and can not be trusted .
Bi Polar people can affect their victims in so many ways
At some point I will reach my wits end , grab up the kids and simply Take off .
You are the victim Jamie? Since you have it all together, why not grow some and get your finances together and stop living with someone you don’t care about. I don’t see myself as a victim, just a result of reality. If you get heart disease does that make your wife a victim, or is it different when you are sick. Do you believe the brain is imaginary and not part of the body and immune to disease. How is the most complex part of the body immune when things as simple as the knee so easily affected.
and natasha, don’t get me started on this “normal people” must have . . . wtf is “NORMAL!!!?
“Bi polar people must want and desire to function in society , they must have respect for normal people whom are simple . They must seek help and try to adjust themselves at least so they can fit in to a normal working society . Normal people can forgive fairly easy , but they can not forget very easily . Bi Polar people often do not understand how important Trust is , without some kind of trust with each other we can not function “.
I’m wondering when they will try to adjust to me a little. Why must I do all the adjusting? Why must I do all the respecting and get none in return. Why must I try to fit in so much. Such a one way deal it seems. Bi-polar people don’t understand. Why do I have a reputation among everyone who ever met me to be the most trust worthy person they have ever met. Yes, it appears this guy is very ” normal”. The kind of normal you don’t want to know.
I can totally understand that you may find the post offensive , I am not a PHD , I am just an ordinary college Grad . I did not use racial slander or inappropriate words . statistics speak for themselves and help us understand how some people can see a culture. You may be too sensitive to be able to have open conversation about real world situations. real world dynamics are totally different than text books . Imagine if you had 3 bi racial children trying to protect them from a wild person with multiple personalities . Legally my Children are black per the governments standards and there are countless wonderful black families . It has nothing to do with Color , it has to do with the situation and circumstances . This forum is too tiny to ever explain anything in real detail .
jamie,
i am a collage grad, and i am not boasting but i graduated with a 4.0. i am intelligent ,and i can have a conversation with respectful people, and i have mental illness; words are demeaning. you speak as if you are the only one who has had these experiences. my whole family is multi racial. my child is half indian, my sisters kids are half black and my nephews children are vietnamese as are one brothers kids.
i certainly know about trust issues and it is not just about having bipolar; it is people who put me in a box because i have a mental illness that i have issues with.
your statement about a “wild person with multiple personalities” is offensive. you must have been watching Tara on tv. how many people with DID do you know?
my lack of trust comes from other peoples ignorance and you don’t need to put us down while i try hard to discuss this with you. you said, “You may be too sensitive to be able to have open conversation about real world situations. real world dynamics are totally different than text books”. i am not in a dream world as you seem to think all people with bipolar are and i can promise you, people with DID are not wild and crazy. many of your statement are insulting. i hate to lower myself to your level but get off your pedestal, non of us is walking on water yet!
jamie, i was not able to finish reading your post, it was just too offensive. what does this have to do with the color of a person skin? maybe i am misunderstanding something?
as always, thank you natasha, for your post. i am an artist wannabe. when feeling better, i love the process of being creative, but don’t think i am good at much. i am so very critical of all i do. others tell me how talented i am but i honestly do not see it. fear also plays a roll in it all, fear of judgement so when i do anything i really love, i won’t share it.
i have not studied anything so this is just my own thoughts without research. i have been wondering if having bipolar disorder is in everyone. i kinda think it’s human to have all different levels of creativity and mania. am i totally off my rocker? it just seems we are putting a name to people that are different and because they are so different we give them drugs to make them more like the other more “functioning” people instead of helping them to build on their amazing abilities and talents. just thinkin! thanks.
Hi Denise,
Sorry, what part of this post is offensive?
– Natasha Tracy
“Perhaps it is the black culture she grew up in and since I am white and conservative I did not recognize the giant difference in her morality until it was too late .” it is like her lack of morality was linked to her black culture. i just don’t see any connection to the color of ones skin and morality. “she is drawn to hansom black losers” how bout say, she is drawn to losers. he goes on to state that he is a, “hard working white boy”. good/bad, white/black. this is offensive to me. he also lumps people who have a disease into one category ” Bi polar people are people of excuses”. It is a all or nothing mentality. i have mental illness, as do millions of people. people make excuses for their behavior often and it has not been proven that people with mi are the only ones who make excuses for their behavior. he said he did nothing wrong. i find that hard to believe. is he walking on water? people are people. many have diagnosed mi; to lump one person into one group is what wars are made of. please correct me if i am wrong, maybe i am being too sensitive, but these sort of comments really rub me the wrong way. i have no issues with discussing racial issues, they need to be, but this all black people are this or all people with mi are that and all white people that is not ok. as i said, maybe i am reading this the wrong way. but it sure has my hackles up.
Hi Denise,
Oh, you meant the comment. I thought you were talking about the above article, that’s why I was confused. thanks for clarifying for me.
– Natasha Tracy
Natasha if it was my blog I would have moderated Jamie’s comment. As it stands it is unreadable. But hey, it’s your blog. Keep racist slander on it if you like.
Sarah, i am hoping that natasha is just away from her computer. it says in her rules that this is not tolerable and i have been on her site for a time and i know she’d not be happy with this. this person is uneducated when it comes to mental illness and is obviously hurting from his experience; he cannot see beyond his pain. he is thinking emotionally not logically as was written about last week. i feel for him but i do not tolerate lumping everyone into a group.
i have mi and i do not sleep around, ever! i am not artistic but i love art, i am not beautiful by societies standards, but i love beauty. however, i am smart enough to know a stinker when i smell one. that does not take a brain scientist to figure that one out.
my first husband sounded a lot like this fella; thank goodness i didn’t lump all men into what he was, if i had, i never would have met my wonderful second husband (may he rip).
people like jamie teach us that stigma and racism are very much alive. we have a lot of educating to do, but there are always going to be people who can’t be taught, they have their heads in the sand and refuse to hear.
thank you sarah for standing up against hate talk. you too will.
Disagree, if “Mein Kampf” were censored no one would have known what Hitler was planning on doing. Not that anyone was listening at the time, but if they were it could have stopped a lot of pain. This, other than just the principle of freedom as well as control and misinterpretation is a reason to NEVER censor. All information should flow freely. No one should have the power to pick and choose what is read and what is not. The good and the bad ( this is the problem, in who decides ) should all be publish and allowed to be heard and we as thinking people will decide if someone is or isn’t a fool. I know how I feel about this guy, but it shouldn’t be my choice to decide. If i do then you don’t get to, because YOU will never hear it.
good point will and i believe you are right. gerrr. but i still want to censer him and all people like him! “mean people suck”
Yes, the gut response to a fool is to censor, but I believe it goes to the slippery slope argument. As I have been repeatedly censored over the past. Especially with my local newspaper. Then banned. I found out by actually contacting my isp. I’m guessing there entire system uses the same cable isp that I use. I would have changed isp’s. Only thing is it’s a monopoly. I have one choice for the speed I want. Then, and as they make probably 100 times the profit off this newspaper chain then they do me. Guess who gets censored? Me of course. This censorship and banning in my opinion was a direct result of comments made about a few of their major advertisers, a local organized crime boss, pointing out shared board memberships etc. with these figures and most of all attacks on the family that has owned the newspaper corporation which spreads as far as the virgin islands, for over a hundred years. No competition and no voice. As they say. Freedom of the press to those who own one. Corrupt police and judges also had a role. Yes, people do suck. Some more then other, but this is why I don’t believe in censorship. The major reason though is just freedom. I really believe in freedom. Not just for myself, but for all. I really believe these issues of control are the root of war and many other atrocities. As far as action upon others goes. I have zero patience for these same people, if proof is provided. Not in our criminal justice system which is a scam. The eight amendment, reasonable bail, right to adequate council, police and judicial corruption, the farce of the speedy and fair trial prove all of this. Fairness in the judical system is nothing more then a fantasy taught to children as any other fairly tale is. Most all honest police officer, judge, legislator, politician, defense attorney, prosecutor etc. if being honest will agree with me 100 %. Any experience with said system will prove this to you, unless you have money or connections. Justice like almost everything is truly for sale. Absolutely and without doubt. Try, test it out. Actually practice free speech and you will quickly realize you don’t have any. If anyone would like to know how it works in reality I will explain it sometime. In my area over 4,000 children were sold into detention. This unlike almost all cases on this level was actually proven. One of the major players has been out on bail for over three years. They predict when sentenced he will get 3 mos. in federal prison and nothing more. This caused at least one suicide and in total man hours many lifetimes incarcerated and much abuse. This is the result of silencing people and not giving people a voice. If interested this was a national case called “kids for cash”. This sort of thing goes on everyday in our “free country”. This is why I believe in free speech and even letting those I disagree with speak. There are very large things at stake. Our slave owning “founding fathers, why are they on our money anyway” believed in this. Almost completely out of greed and self interest and only for certain people but regardless knew it’s power. As I am speaking of the U.S. this applies to most anywhere. Stalin said ” If we don’t give them guns, why would we give them ideas”. I guess this is off topic, but I think why we should let this man speak. I still think he is. Sorry I can’t say. It is “inappropriate”. I hater that word. By the way when censorship take hold, interestingly enough one of the first words to be censored is actually censorship. Truly the power of the word is quite important and I do believe mightier then the sword. The most powerful men and women in the world don’t carry guns.
haha, ya “the most powerful people in the world don’t carry guns”, they have their bodyguards to do that! sorry had to laugh.
i apologize natacha and all the others, that i got caught up in the drama. will try to be more attune if there is a next time.
i wish i could make more comments on art and being artistic, i just don’t have many thoughts on it. we were not allowed to be kids growing up so art was not a part of the equation. however, it may seem childish, but i love (not sure the word) decopauge? where you stick cut out pictures on boards or cans or whatever you wish. it is very therapeutic for me anyway. in school i loved to sing, but after school, music was not allowed. i wonder if my deep love and appreciation for art is based from not being allowed to do it.
because of fear and anxiety (and money) i do not get out to take classes in art. i would love to paint. though i think i would feel intimidated. when i make my art, i never share it, fear of being judged i guess. same with singing.
I find the racism in that post offensive.
It’s far more then racism. It’s a complete generalization of many groups of people all in one argument. Couldn’t agree more Sarah. He seems to be a racist and a saint all in one paragraph. Was a special father and fine man. An example for us all.
I think we all know the difference between reality and search results on Google and most other search engines. Good reason to do a little research on using other not so popular search engines using different algorithms or compilation of other algorithms to compile there results. Read interesting statistics in a couple books presented by a ( can’t remember her name, Psychologist, maybe Psychiatrist or PHD. neuro- scientist. still can’t remember ) According to its results as much as I would like to think my I.Q. as a norm and my creativity as a norm is higher than the status. Her results don’t show this. Although she states at times the brain of a person w/ bipolar 1 is using connections in the brain at 4.5 times normal, as a whole and over time it all averages out. I think, as does she that this is over simplified, but I think you know what I mean, and this I just a non-specific ten year old or so memory. I know personally I operate completely differently then my peers. Weather this is due to the bi-polar or otherwise is of up for debate as these things are rarely scientifically looked into in much detail. We are certainly unusual people and would hope I am at default more intelligent than normal, but the evidence in many ways I have read don’t really Pt. that way.
Bi Polar people that I know are extremely talented , artistic and often intelligent . Niki my
bi-polar wife was and still is very creative . She started her own Children’s clothing line that appeared on Oprah , and many TV shows . She was given praise and attention via many media outlets . Her passion for creativity is enormous , her eye for selecting fabric materials , colors and patterns is fantastic . Our daughter is a model for her clothing as well as many of her friends children .Her eyes for interior design is also amazing .
I divorced her because I could no longer trust her because she never told the truth . I still live with her because I could not abandon my 3 children . It was a hard choice to make . Neither of us could make it completely on our own financially , therefore our combined income makes life much better .
Bi Polar people often get bored very fast and can not deal with simple practical people like myself . Her conversations with her clients and friends are often exciting and fun , she has several personalities . She can be one person one minute and change into a raving lunatic the next minute .
She is very attractive and any man would easily find her sexy . But her moral side is horrible and she thought nothing of multiple affairs . Perhaps it is the black culture she grew up in and since I am white and conservative I did not recognize the giant difference in her morality until it was too late . Her mother , father and sisters all had affairs and they laugh about it . After 3 children I figured even a Bi Polar person would grow up , but I was wrong , their brains are too complex and they get bored very easy .
There is excitement in an affair , Much more so than staying married to a hard working White boy . Her Artistic Talent and creativity serve her well . She could never make it on a job that is boring and demands interaction with people of different perspectives in life , she was fired from 3 different jobs for simply insulting people . Yet she is extremely talented .
I decided to divorce her because it limits my liabilities and also allows her to pursue her boyfriends knowing she is not committed to a normal husband . The big factor is our children that deserve father and mother .
Bi polar people must want and desire to function in society , they must have respect for normal people whom are simple . They must seek help and try to adjust themselves at least so they can fit in to a normal working society . Normal people can forgive fairly easy , but they can not forget very easily . Bi Polar people often do not understand how important Trust is , without some kind of trust with each other we can not function .
I had lost all trust in her, because she did not admit her problems , admit her affairs , and admit she needed help . yet My love for her is very powerful , but my love for my children is even more powerful . I simply could not trust her to raise my children and knowing another man was there in my home . All of her boyfriends were exciting and handsome , but were all losers . She is drawn to handsome black losers .
I had to find an existence with her , so I could look out for my children . Bi polar people can do mental harm to normal people , so I guess after a 9 year marriage her warped personality took its toll on my mind . At this point I do not care about her even though I still love her , I do care she is the mother of my children .
The children deserve a Normal mother , not an extremely talented Lunatic . I am their only connection to a normal society . They are always so glad to see me come home from work and I spend every moment I can with them , because I want to expose them to normal boring person . Children need stability , not Chaos , with her it was very chaotic . Being creative gave her praise , admiration and attention she wanted , she channeled that praise and attention in the wrong direction with no respect for her normal husband .
Bi polar people hate being depressed and bored . They much prefer to live in the Manic state high anxiety . They also can have a high sex drive when it brings them excitement . Her affairs made her Manic and high and excited , and kept her out of boredom and depression . She did a sloppy horrible job to hide her bad actions , she had an abortion from a pregnancy of one of her lovers . naturally this is very insulting and humiliating to her normal husband .
The hard thing to deal with is often Bi polar people have no remorse what so ever , so they live like nothing ever happened and refuse to talk about it and refuse to admit it . Even in the face of overwhelming evidence .
I married her in a state of Manic Sexuality , our relationship was hot as a fire cracker for the first few years , but Bi polar people get depressed so easily , yet what did I do to deserve the reversal in her attitude towards me . I had done nothing wrong , Bi polar people are people of excuses , she would easily fined one excuse after another and one boy friend after another . She loved the feelings of No Depression , planning her next affair .
She could do it all yet while being ultra creative and artistic