Stop Telling Me How to Make My Bipolar Better
[Admittedly this is angry, ranty and will likely tick people right off. Please understand that this is not aimed at any one individual and the remarks reflect a growing frustration of a prevalent situation.]
Here at BurbleCo, the bipolar blog, I try to relate matters in a very even-handed, logical and frank way. In this blog I attempt to deliver my opinions and facts as just that, opinions and facts. In this bipolar blog I try not to inflame groups with whom I vehemently disagree. In this blog I try to respect everyone’s point of view as I wish to have mine respected. I short, I try to act like grown-up. A kind, caring, reasonable grown-up.
Well. Fuck. That. Shit.
There is a new rule: no one is allowed to tell me how to get better. Not any more. I’m a done with those people. I am done with the sun-shiny, let’s-hold-hands-and-sing cumbyah people. I’m done with the turning-my-frown-upside-down-cured-me-and-so-will-cure-you people. I am done with the I-worked-through-my-self-esteem-issues-by-affirmations people. I am done with the I-got-better-through-god people. I am over being nice and kind and respectful and accommodating to these people.
Stop telling me how to get better. Stop telling me how to treat my bipolar.
I don’t fucking tell people how to live their lives and I wish people would stop thinking that they have the right to tell me how to live mine simply because I have a bipolar blog.[push]You don’t know me. You read my words but that makes you no more an authority on my brain that the barrista I chat with at Starbucks is.[/push]
Here’s the thing people – you don’t know me. You don’t. You may read my words but that makes you no more an authority on my brain than the barrista I chat with at Starbucks. I am not your patient, your lover, your family member, or anyone else people seem to exert control over. I am a writer. I write about stuff. I write about me. But written words does not a person make.
And quite frankly, I find these people condescending, irritating, pious, holier-than-thou and just generally ignorant of the world around them. And I’m tired of playing all nice about it.
Even when people tell me “how to get better,” I’m supposed to be resonable, I know.
Yes, I get it, I’m a voice for the mentally ill community and an advocate and I have a responsibility to at least be reasonable when talking to people, and when writing in my blog, but every fucking day of my online life people feel free to tell me what I’m doing wrong. They feel free to tell me how they got better and if I wanted to, I’d do it too. They feel free to yak on about things about me with which they have no experience or knowledge. Seriously. Irritating.
Live Your Own Life
You know what I think people should do with their lives? I think people should do what they want and they should let others do what they want. We each have our own path, our own minds, our own brains. You don’t understand mine. Period.
As an example: personally, I find most religious people to be quite mindless and irrational on subjects of spirituality and I think they should take a logic course, learn to think for themselves and give their heads a shake.
But you know what, that’s just me. That’s just my opinion. I don’t tell people to do that. It’s insulting. It’s unkind. It indicates that I think I know what’s better for the person than the person themselves. And to make matters worse, it would indicate that over the internet I feel free to tell someone how to live their life when I don’t even know them. Not to mention I don’t know their history and how they came to place in their life where they now exist. No one has to justify their choices to me.
And how pissed off would everyone be, and I would say rightfully, if I did that?
People Mean Well When They Tell Me How to “Fix” My Bipolar Disorder?
Do people mean well? I suppose. That’s always the out I give people when I write about the matter on the blog or elsewhere. That’s the politically correct thing to say about such remarks. But seriously, I think it just makes them feel better about their own choices in life. By telling me what I’m doing wrong it reaffirms what they are doing right. Well quite frankly, I don’t give a shit. I’m glad you think you’re right. Go forth and be right. Enjoy.
I’m tired of being the one that has to be so careful around these people and this subject. I’m tired of having to justify myself on my blog. Stop telling me what to do. Stop telling me how great you are that you got better. And while you’re at it, give the rest of the mentally ill world a break too. We’re doing the best we can.
[And in case you were wondering this doesn’t change my feelings on respect and tolerance. I have no plans on attacking people here and certainly not in any other public forum.]
About Natasha Tracy
Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, speaker and consultant from the Pacific Northwest. She has been living with bipolar disorder for 18 years and has written more than 1000 articles on the subject.