Bipolar: No Amount of Pain Can Kill You – Power Over Suicide

Bipolar: No Amount of Pain Can Kill You – Power Over Suicide

There is no amount of bipolar pain that can kill you; we have the ultimate power over suicide. I have suffered and suffered and suffered for so long that I know this to be true. Yes, people attempt/commit suicide, I know. But it isn’t because of the amount of pain, per se, it’s because they don’t see a way out of it. Because emotionally, I can hit you and hit you and hit you and you just won’t, cannot, die. Some days I wish this weren’t true. Some days I wish that the extreme pain would just kill me, that I would just get walloped that one last time and die. Like running into the final brick wall that bipolar offers only to find it really took my head clean off. I have learned, though, that I have the ultimate power over a death by suicide.

Bipolar’s Pain Can’t Kill You – You Have the Power Over Suicide

There is just no amount of pain from bipolar disorder (or anything else) that can kill you. There is no amount of pain that can kill me. It can make me want to die. It can make me beg for death. But it can’t take the final step and make me stop breathing. I have the ultimate power over that kind of death. I have power over my own suicide.

Why Does the Power Over Pain and Suicide Matter?

Bipolar can cause huge amounts of pain but emotional pain can't kill you. Learn about your power over suicide.Why does this matter? Because of this: it’s actually rather comforting.

It’s actually rather comforting to know that while bipolar disorder is trying to kill me pretty much every second of every day, it can’t do it, only I can. I actually have the power over death by suicide. I actually have the power to not give into what it wants. I actually have the ultimate power over the bipolar disorder. It can hit me and hit me and hit me and while I’ll be on the mat, sure, my heart will continue to beat. I will still be here for my kitties. I will still be here for my readers. I will still be here for my loved ones. Bipolar cannot kill me if I don’t let it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to disrespect those with bipolar disorder who have died by suicide because of this horrendous illness, not at all. These people were not weak. These people were just overwhelmed a symptom of an illness that is, well, overwhelming.

The Ultimate Power Over Suicide and Bipolar’s Pain

I’m just saying that we, as a group, have the ultimate power and need to stand strong with the knowledge of that power. I know that some people feel they have no choice when the pain gets so bad. I understand that. I have been there. I have been where there seem to be no exit signs. But, even then, I still had the power over suicide, even though the pain of bipolar make me feel like I didn’t.

So each of us who have suffered, each of us who have been knocked to the mat, can stand and say we are not dead because we exercised our ultimate power. We made the choice not to die. We made the choice to slog through the pain in spite of what it does to us.

The pain cannot kill you. Only you can kill you. Own your power.

Image by Flickr user Live Life Happy.

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About Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, speaker and consultant from the Pacific Northwest. She has been living with bipolar disorder for 18 years and has written more than 1000 articles on the subject.

Natasha’s New Book

Find more of Natasha’s work in her new book: Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar. Media inquiries can be emailed here.

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