I’ve talked about bipolar and rest before but now I want to add the concepts of choice and empowerment. I want to talk about how choosing rest because of bipolar disorder is actually empowering. I want to talk about taking some power away from the bipolar disorder.

Being Forced to Rest Because of Bipolar Is Not Empowering

I have found so many times that I am forced to rest because of bipolar disorder. Typically what happens is that I run and run and run until I simply fall apart in pain. I am then forced by my body and by the bipolar disorder to rest. I have no choice in the matter. Continuing forward simply isn’t an option.

In fact, this typically happens every weekend. On Saturday morning, I go out to breakfast with a friend and then he and I run errands together. (It’s because of his help that these things get done at all.) And by the time I have walked to breakfast, eaten breakfast, run errands and come home, I am dead tired thanks to bipolar disorder and bipolar medication. I have to rest at that point, usually for the duration of the day.

But then there’s Sunday. I always tell myself that thanks to the resting I did on Saturday, I can get things done on Sunday. I have a list. I always have a list. But inevitably, I try to accomplish things and can’t. I try to do something on my list and my body won’t. I feel like a failure. Again, my body and bipolar force me to rest. I really have no say in it at all.

And this is the opposite of empowering.

It is incredibly disempowering to feel forced to do something against your will. I want to choose to complete tasks but I can’t. The lack of choice is disempowering. The fact that I’m forced, without choice, to sit or lie for hours and hours against my will is the absolute opposite of empowering.

The Need for Empowerment in Bipolar Disorder

But everyone needs to feel empowered. Perhaps this goes doubly for those with bipolar disorder because bipolar disorder forces so much upon us and makes us feel so disempowered that I believe, where we can, it’s critical we find empowerment. We can’t control certain aspects of bipolar disorder (or any serious mental illness) but there are certain aspects of our lives that we can control and that is empowering.

Empowerment in Bipolar Disorder: Choosing to Rest

It's hard to feel empowered when bipolar seems to make so many choices for you. But if you choose rest, can you feel empowered even with bipolar?So last Sunday, I tried something new. I put only one thing on my to-do list: rest. That’s it. Just “rest.”

(Well, okay, if I’m to be absolutely honest, I had a mental backup to-do list. What can I tell you, I just can’t let go completely.)

The only goal I had was to rest enough to be ready for the coming workweek. All the things I needed to do (and trust me, when you’re writing a book, there are a lot), I just pushed pause on.

And this choice, this choosing to rest, was incredibly empowering for me. I didn’t feel forced to rest because of bipolar disorder, I felt like it was a conscious choice I made. I didn’t beat myself up about all the things I couldn’t do, because I didn’t put the expectation on myself that I would do them in the first place. Controlling my Sunday, instead of feeling like my Sunday was controlled by my bipolar disorder, was, indeed, empowering.

Now, I admit, I still wish I could have gotten things done, but I’m trying to let that go. I’m trying to fully own the choice and fully feel empowered. Because I realized that while rest and my acknowledgment of the need for rest in bipolar disorder is required, I can use this requirement for my own empowerment instead of bipolar forcing the feeling of disempowerment.

Banner image by TheDyslexicBook.com.

Image by Flickr user theimpulsivebuy.