It’s important to know that you can, and should, call or text a hotline (formally known in the U.S. as Lifeline) even if you’re not suicidal but are experiencing emotional distress. I’m serious about this. You don’t have to wait until you’re on death’s door to talk to a professional crisis worker. Yes, I know their title is “crisis” worker but really what they are is educated people that are there to help you when you need help – whether you’re formally in a “crisis” or not. In fact, calling or texting a hotline, Lifeline, when you’re not suicidal might be the best thing you can do to save your own life.
Calling a Hotline, Lifeline Because of Distress Over Celebrity Suicides
The celebrity suicides of Anthony Boudain and Kate Spade have provoked many people to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) in the United States. According to CNN, counselors took 65% more calls and answered 116% more texts in the week following these suicides. When suicide is in the news, more people reach out to hotlines, Lifeline. This might be because these suicides bring about distress but it might also be because people suddenly feel that reaching out is okay as the national dialog suddenly seems to normalize the need to reach out because of feelings of distress.
This spike in numbers is actually a positive thing because it means that more people who needed help are getting it.
Why Would You Call or Text a Hotline, Lifeline If You’re Not Suicidal?
I strongly suspect that all those who called and texted the Lifeline in the U.S. were not suicidal. Many of these people were experiencing distress and called because of that, not necessarily because they were considering taking their own lives. This is a very good thing. Because if you can catch distress before it turns into suicidality, the chances of you saving your own life are that much greater. And, of course, the sooner you reach out for help, the less time you’ll have to spend in pain, which is a win no matter how you look at it.
According to the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, people call or text them for a variety of reasons including:
- Substance abuse
- Economic worries
- Relationships
- Sexual identity
- Getting over abuse
- Depression
- Illness (including mental illness)
- Loneliness
Any of these things, of course, can cause great distress and are worth reaching out over. Like I said, if you’re in pain, the goal is to stop that pain not to wait until it gets so severe it’s threatening to kill you. Believe me, waiting until you have that bottle of pills in your hand is not what you want to do.
About Calling or Texting the Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the US
Of course, the vast majority of countries have one or more suicide hotlines (you can find information about them here, but for the sake of illustration, let’s use the U.S.’s National Suicide Prevention Lifeline as an example of what these hotlines are like.
What Happens When You Call the Lifeline?
- Initially, you’ll hear a message telling you that you’ve reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
- You’ll hear hold music while you are being connected.
- A skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network crisis center closest to you will answer the phone.
- This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support and share any resources that may be helpful.
All calls are free and confidential.
And I’d like to point out it’s the sharing of resources that can be so helpful because it takes the help you can get from a suicide hotline into your daily life and allows you to get more in-depth help. Because as much as hotlines can help you, if you’re in that much distress you likely need more help than they can ultimately give.
And as I’ve mentioned, you can also text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (and they actually have online chat, too). This can be very helpful for those scared of actually talking to someone. If this is the way you choose to reach out, then that’s great – it’s the right way for you.
Experiences with Calling, Texting a Hotline, Lifeline When Not Suicidal
I will say that not everyone who calls a hotline has a positive experience. I know it’s really hard when you finally choose to reach out and the experience ends up being negative. I get why you wouldn’t want to do that again.
But please know that the people on the other end of the line really do want to help you and the resources they can point you towards can facilitate your wellness – and that’s what everyone wants for you.
So please remember, mental illness (and mental distress, for that matter) is like any other illness: the sooner you deal with it the better. If you catch it at an early stage you have a much better chance of beating it altogether. So reach out when you’re feeling distressed and don’t wait. Waiting could cost you your life.
(Similarly, if you’re worried about someone else, you should also call or text a hotline, Lifeline as soon as possible. These counselors are also trained to help you and point you towards resources too.)
Learn more about the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline here.
Banner image by publik15.
Just called 988 and the lady said unless I was suicidal she would have to give me another number to call to get help. Before it was 988 would could call to talk to someone before you got suicidal. 988 is a big joke.
Hi Jamie,
I’m so sorry. I had no idea that was happening. It’s great that you’re reaching out, though, wherever that has to be.
— Natasha Tracy
rather meet in person i cant do this over the phone shit.
The actual point is to play hostage negotiator long enough for the swat team to make entry into your home and detain you and take you (against your will) to the hospital for a 72 hour psych hold.They don’t put this in the advertising for obvious reasons. If you can be talked out of the most important decision one could ever make in their life by a 1 hours phone call with a volunteer who has completed their $200 1-3 day seminar on avian linguistics, sorry I meant parroting, no wait that;s not it either… Oh Yeah! I just remembered it “empathetic listening” created by Jesus Christ himself to bestow upon mortals the ability previously held only by tape recorders, microphones, and the Grand Canyon. And don’t even get me started on CBT that ancient skill,… But seriously how can you write, (and who the hell needs) a 1000 page textbook to learn how to rationalize which is a skill everyone has but therapists act as if it’s unknown to anyone but them which is extremely arrogant and doubly so when they hypocritically act as if they are immune to bias themselves even while explaining that everyone has biased thoughts.
First I want to say, I’m really glad that I have a chance to read through your posts. Especially with this particular topic, wanting to die but being suicidal. A lot of your suggestions/recommendations are very similar to what my dr and therapist tell me. So, I thank you for speaking out so openly.
For me, feeling like dying or not existing doesn’t come with any risk of suicide. According to my dr and therapist, it most likely never will become a suicidal risk for. It’s extremely hard to explain or for people to understand what I struggle with day to day….sometimes hour by hour. The reason why it’s hard, I don’t necessarily fall into any of the categories mentioned that others suffer from. My pain and overwhelming agony comes from a loss unlike any other. My oldest of 4, at only 25 years old, recently and suddenly passed away in September. Just like there’s no way to describe my pain, there’s no way to describe how truly unique and special bond/relationship we had. It’s become sickening to even think of the future without him in it. And as much as I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again, there’s no way I would ever entertain the thought of suicide when I really do have so much to live for. That’s what seems to be the hardest for me to explain. Yes, I still have 3 beautiful and amazing girls, 3 wonderful grandkids and a husband who holds me together before I fall completely apart….still, I’m so lost with feeling hollow and empty. Believe me, it’s a war I battle within myself that leaves a looming guilt that I struggle with everyday.
Suicide Help-lines do offer a caring, listening voice; little else. The choice, to live or die, remains yours. The agent does not advocate direction. There is one exception to policy. If a caller presents with active suicide plan (date/time), the means: gun, rope, knife, etc., and states ready intent, the caller will be directed to consider a cooling off period; to reconsider.
Active suicide calls are less than 2% of all volume. If the caller does not exhibit active suicidal ideation, agents strive not to exceed seven minutes call handle time.
Summary: use them! Agents use the paradigm: W.A.I.T. —why am I talking? They’ll use dialog mirroring: “…So what you’re saying/ feeling is….” It’s valid (free) but insipid service. Seek paid professional review for pernicious active suicidal ideation.
There’s two resources here: crisis line ( I don’t trust went I’m paranoid/ manic )
Another line that are trained in psychology & just basically listen
Don’t tell you what to do. Since I’ve never responded to that sort of thing.
I prefer the latter.
It’s more like talking to a super educated friend.
It does help
Where the crisis line says well what are you going to do now to distract yourstract yourself?
If your suicidal excuse me,that’s dumb.
Some are better workers than others.
I avoid calling those places at the most part,writing feelings out
Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain
I’d never though let it get it to the point of suicidal ideation though.
I’m extremely self aware indivual “….
I support calling a hotline, especially if you aren’t as messed up as I was. Getting therapy is also good, if you have somebody you trust can handle it.
Disclosure-This is my issue, so hopefully you handle it better than I did. I have had 3 suicide attempts, last one 4 years ago. One was after calling a hotline, because I felt so guilty for dumping my problems on them, that it was just another person I became a problem to-obviously not really, but I was in a bad headspace. I remember not sleeping that night, wanting to call the hotline, waiting 8 hours, getting the Sunday paper, then still feeling bad, then calling.