Do Others Want You to Deny You Are Bipolar?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 9, 2010

It’s pretty common to deny you have bipolar disorder, before, and even during diagnosis of bipolar disorder. None of us wants to be sick, and none of us wants to be crazy-sick (sick-crazy, crazy and sick?). And it can take us a long time to come to terms with living with a mental illness like bipolar disorder.

Deny You Have Bipolar Disorder?

But sometimes, worse is the fact that those around us want to deny, or want us to deny, our bipolar disorder. They want us not to talk about bipolar, or to “control the symptoms of bipolar” or they just don’t believe in mental illness or treat it like a disease at all.

So earlier this week I wrote a piece at Breaking Bipolar about Bipolar and Denial. (Hint, I’m not for it.)

Getting Off Pristiq – Or Not

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 7, 2010

A couple of posts ago I talked about getting off of the antidepressant, Pristiq. I just thought you might like to know I was unsuccessful at getting off the final 50mg of Pristiq. I stopped taking the final Pristiq pill while increasing the antidepressant, Welbutrin and fell entirely apart in withdrawal. I became a swamp of tears, echos of choking sobs and a rainforest (?) of suicidality.

Yeah, so I gave into the withdrawal and just took the Pristiq again. Ah…failure. Failure getting on antidepressants, failure getting off antidepressants, and failing to get better. Sheesh. That’s quite a lineup.

Drugs are bad. Just say no. Or ow. Or please god stop.

Or that might be just me.

It’s Scary to Show People Bipolar, and Not Just Tell Them

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 28, 2010

There are two types of writing I do about bipolar. The first type talks about being bipolar, what it’s like, information around it and so on. It’s generally not overly emotional. The second type is written from the point of view of my bipolar, period. It’s not therapied or controlled or softened.

And that second type really bothers people.

Showing People Bipolar Disorder

It has happened many times over the years that people have come onto my blog and gotten upset at my very “real” writing. Often bipolars tell me it expresses exactly how they were feeling and they are grateful. Others though, complain that I’m illogical, need help, and am just generally crazy. They want to yell at me, for expressing the sickness. Yell at me for showing bipolar disorder as it is.

So today on HealthyPlace I write some more about showing someone the bipolar versus just telling them about it.

How To Get Off Pristiq or Reduce Pristiq

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 26, 2010

Now I’m not a doctor, in fact, I don’t even play one on TV, but I wanted to share a little about me and how I’m handling getting off of, or at least reducing, Pristiq.

Please also read: When to Get Off Antidepressants with Bipolar Disorder

Antidepressant Pristiq – Easy On, Not-So-Easy Off

I’ve been talking the antidepressant Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) for months and it doesn’t seem to be doing much, but honestly, the withdrawal from Pristiq is so bad I didn’t want to attempt getting off of it. As you might know, Pristiq is a metabolite of Effexor and Effexor, another antidepressant, is also a nightmare to get off of. If I would miss a Pristiq dose by even a few hours I would become suicidally depressed. Really. No joke.

No Taper Strategy for Pristiq

So getting off of Pristiq wasn’t on my short list of fun things to do. There is no taper strategy for Pristiq as it only comes in 50 mg and 100 mg tablets and you cannot cut them.

How I’m Getting Off Pristiq

But I seem to be successfully reducing the dose of Pristiq with minimal impact and withdrawal.

I Hate Everyone Who Isn’t Suicidal

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 21, 2010

Today I feel angry.

Really angry.

Today I feel that my mentally ill, depressed, bipolar life is inexorably unfair.

Today I hate everyone.

I Hate Everyone Who Isn’t Suicidal

Yes, I know, I’m supposed to be better than that. Yes, I know, I’m supposed to rise above that. Yes, I know that isn’t fair or particularly true. But I feel it anyway. You try being this depressed. You try being this suicidal. See how many people you hate.

Antidepressant Comparison: Are Pristiq and Effexor the Same?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 18, 2010

Does Pristiq Just Serve to Extend the Effexor Patent?

If you live in the US, you’ve probably seen all the commercials for the new and pastel-pink-coloured antidepressant Pristiq. (Yes, prescribed for depression.) Pristiq is new and has a huge marketing push behind it and is a selective serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI) antidepressant. In other words, it’s an antidepressant that works on both serotonin and norepinephrine neurotransmitters. It is not the only antidepressant to do this, but SNRIs are a smaller class of drugs than those that just effect serotonin alone (like Prozac). (Although admittedly, there seems to be a suspicious number of SNRI antidepressants in development.)

Pristiq and Effexor Are Almost the Same Drug

What you might not know, is the same company that makes the drug Pristiq (Wyeth) also makes Effexor, which is an almost identical antidepressant, and Effexor has recently become available in generic form (Venlafaxine). Pristiq, O-desmethylvenlafaxine, is actually the main metabolite of Effexor, venlafaxine hydrochloride.

This means that if you take Effexor, your body breaks it down into Pristiq and other chemicals. Yes, Pristiq and Effexor are almost the same drug.

Depression: Why Do People Keep Asking What Happened?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 16, 2010

I have had this exchange a thousand times,

“I’m really depressed.”
“Why, what happened?”

Have you been missing the plot?

Bipolars Get Depressed

Bipolar disorder is defined as the cycling of moods between a depression and a mania, or hypomania. It is not characterized by being cut off in traffic and then being depressed about it.

I’m Damaged. I’m Bipolar. Love Me. Save Me.

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 14, 2010

Last night I watched Crazy for Love a very bad movie wherein a man, Max, is put into a mental hospital for attempting suicide for the tenth time. When he’s there, he glimpses a very ill, schizophrenic, Grace, whereupon he instantaneously falls in love with her. She too is determined to kill herself. His life’s mission then is to “make her better”. To “make her happy”. Having found his new mission in life, he no longer wants to kill himself.

Well, pin a rose on his nose.

Are bipolars crazy? I am. It’s OK to be Crazy.

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 10, 2010

I am crazy. I tell this to people in my personal life. It’s not a secret. I figure there’s no point in trying to cover it up; it’ll come out eventually. I’m crazy. The approximately 20 scars on my forearms rather give away that something is amiss.

But people really don’t like the word “crazy”. In fact, most often, what people say to me is, “no, you’re not!”. Well, actually, I am. I have a mental illness, I’m bipolar and I’m crazy.

more at Breaking Bipolar: Are bipolars crazy. I am.