I was very sad. Very upset. About something that happened in my real life. I was anxious, scared, angry and upset. But as with so many things, there was no resolution. Things just left in the air. Left to stab. Left to scathe. That’s what life is, I guess.
Because I was ignored. As per the usual. It is quite possible, and in fact likely, that the person is angry and thus ignoring me. Again, such are humans.
Read MoreIf you’ve been reading me for a while, you’re probably familiar with the symptoms I typically experience as a bipolar:
Each symptom depending on the mood of the moment (blue being depression, yellow being hypomania).
However, did you know that someone’s list might look like this:
That is totally different from my list, and yet we’re still both bipolar. The diagnosis “bipolar” is more of a big-tent thing. It’s the clumping of people with group of symptoms into a group called bipolar, but each person in the group is still unique.
Read MoreSome people really hate the bipolars. Bipolar disorder evokes ire in many. I’ve had people refuse to see me for no other reason than I am bipolar. Bipolar seems to make you grow another head, or tentacles, or something.
But that is not the worst part. Not by far. No, the really bad bit is why people hate people with bipolar disorder so much. Among the other accusations, I’ve seen: we’re liars, we cheat, we manipulate and we’re violent and angry. These particular myths along with three others are in Seven Biggest Myths About Bipolar Disorder.
The thing is, the people who make these accusations, like everyone with a prejudice, is simply showing ignorance and a lack of rationality. It doesn’t matter what group of people you hate, you’re always showing ignorance and a lack of rationality. It’s terribly unimpressive.
What generally happens is that a person has a bad experience with one person, who is bipolar, and then generalizes to all of bipolar-kind and possibly mental-illness-kind. And they blame every problem on the bipolar. It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. In fact, it’s stupid. Sorry, it just is.
But there it is, my little poke back at the prejudice. I hope it makes someone think.
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I think everyone with bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness, has their own personal list of annoying things people have said to them and about them. I’ve listed my 10 least favorite things to say to a person with bipolar disorder, plus a bonus #11. #11 is just my absolute least favorite.
We create our own reality. This is one of my most hated sentences in the English language. This sentence screams of middle-class-real-problemless-spoiled-rich-person. Yes, undoubtedly people who have homes and families and health and happiness can make their own reality. They can fix the issues they have, like leaky pipes, and not be upset when the paperboy misses their front porch. I have no doubt this is possible.
But give me a fucking break.
Read MoreLast week I provided a real look inside a hypomanic mind, which was interesting (more on living hypomania), but doesn’t really address the question of: what is hypomania?
Hypomania, as a word, is becoming more well-known as bipolar II becomes more well known. People though, are often confused as to what hypomania is. Hypomania is not mania. The easy way to tell the difference is: if you’re not in the hospital, you’re probably not manic. Check out my article at HealthyPlace for more on the Difference Between Mania and Hypomania.
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I do stream-of-conscious bipolar writing here sometimes. I like it. And actually, other bipolars generally respond quite well to stream-of-conscious writing as well. I have found, though, that those without mental illness are left somewhat dumbfounded. Or, at least, that’s the impression I get from the lack of feedback. Stream-of-consciousness writing is tough to get if you’ve never been in that type of consciousness. Hypomania. Crazy.
Nevertheless, I insist on doing streamed bipolar writing anyway. I’m obstinate that way.
And I really think hypomanic stream-of-conscious is illuminating, particularly for those with no experience in it. It really helps to give a glimpse into a moment of life in my brain. So for HealthyPlace I wrote, Hypomania Means Never Having to Make Sense.
Take a gander. Let me know what you think.
Read MoreThis is not of the quality you typically find here. Sorry.
Not sleeping. Waking multiple times during the night. That’s hypomania.
I’m sleeping too little, eating too little, producing too much and feeling too OK; that’s hypomania. It makes you brilliant and insightful and creative and magical. It also makes me completely fucked up.
I’m not sure that remission is something we will all get to enjoy, as bipolars. And the remission from depression, the remission from hypomania, the remission from bipolar we do experience seems to be a very watered-down version of the lives we want, the lives we deserve and certainly the lives we’re promised by doctors and treatments. So if remission isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, what is remission in bipolar disorder?
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When you think of mental illness, bipolar disorder, do you consider yourself to be bipolar or do you think of yourself as someone who has bipolar disorder? Just like: Bipolars have mood swings vs. people who suffer from bipolar disorder have mood swings. (I also think I’m crazy, and no, I don’t think “crazy” is derogatory necessarily.)
Personally, I say I’m bipolar all the time. I don’t have a problem with “being bipolar.” I know some people do dislike this concept for psychological reasons though, so on Breaking Bipolar there’s Are You Bipolar, Or Do You Have Bipolar Disorder?
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