How to Tell Someone You’re Feeling Suicidal Pt. 1

People ask me about suicide, and I talk about suicide, all the time. I talk about suicide warning signs and suicide attempts and getting help for suicidal feelings.

And, of course, one of the big things I say in bold, underlined letters is that if you’re feeling suicidal you need to tell someone. You absolutely, positively need to reach out for help.

But let’s face it, it’s not easy to admit you’re suicidal, even to yourself, let alone to another person, so how do you tell someone you’re suicidal?

Feeling Suicidal

Feeling suicidal is not a small thing. It is not normal to want to take your own life. It is not normal to be thinking about killing yourself. It just isn’t. It might feel “normal” to some people who battle it all the time (I understand) but, believe me, no one deserves to feel like they want to kill themselves.

In addition to wanting to die, feeling suicidal often means:

  • Being obsessed with death
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Feeing like the world would be better off without you
  • Making specific suicide plans
  • Saying goodbye to people and giving away your possessions
  • Writing a suicide note

All of these things are horrific and they’re all really important to notice so that you use them to spur you to get help.

Who to Tell that You Feel Suicidal

This depends on the person but if you feel suicidal and feel like you’re going to act on your suicidal feelings, you need to get professional help right away. Go to an emergency room or call 9-1-1 right now. No playing around. This is your life we’re talking about and your life matters

Telling Someone You Feel SuicidalIf you’re not feeling like you’re going to act on your suicidal feelings, you do have your choice of who to tell. My preference would be to tell a mental health professional. Make an appointment with your doctor or therapist and tell them how you feel. I know this can be scary, but these people are trained to help you and your situation. You might also call a helpline as they are also trained to deal with suicidal feelings.

If you feel that you can’t tell a professional, then tell the person closest to you. Tell your parents or best friend. Tell a faith leader or teacher. If you’re under the age of 18, make sure an adult knows because as great as friends are, it’s unlikely that a non-adult is going to be able to handle such a serious situation all that well.

And you might want to tell more than one person. For example, you might tell your friend so that they can come with you when you go to talk to a doctor. In fact, telling more people is often better because the more people that can support you through this challenging time, the better off you’ll likely be.

In part two of this article I talk about how to tell someone you’re feeling suicidal and what happens after you tell someone you’re suicidal.

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  1. I keep going over ways In my head to do it and I just get where I really don’t care because I see things and situations that want get any better I am up from 315am till 1030pmn5-6 days a week I am tired and really don’t care

  2. I’m a very good actor at the age of 13. I have been lying to everyone I know because I act all happy every day and I the inside I’m very gloomy. When I tried to tell my friend that I had suicidalthoughts she didn’t believe me, so I tried more people and they didn’t believe me because I’ve been lying to them. ???? Help me, I can’t see a bright future anymore.

    • Parker
      I understand what your going through I have tried it several times and know one was the wiser it is really hard to trust someone especially when I feel the way u do because they don’t or want know what to do I have like 2people that know really what I have felt and thought if u can find someone u can talk to try to that’s been the hardest thing for me to do I have waited a long time to try to treat mine and I’m not In a good place either I hope things get better for u take care of yourself

  3. So, I am a really good actor, and I am “cheerful” on the outside but on the inside I am taking serious suicidal thoughts and actions. Nothing can bring a bright light into my world so I’ll leave it. I tried to tell my closest friend, they only laughed and never even bring up the topic again because I’m always so “happy” I’ve been lying to everyone ever since I’ve met them and I keep up the act till I’m alone so no one knows. Therapy is scary and I know that, not for suicidal thoughts, but for even worse. I need help. I don’t know how to get it.

    • elsiaeih10Love, love, love,….. this!!! And i cant help bit laugh hard when the ladies cant help themselves and gaped in amazement at what they are witnessing. just inspiring!!!

  4. I am 11 about to be 12 in may and everybody and i mean everybody gets on to me about everything and i cant take it i have a counselor and i dont think i can make it till tommorrow! I dont even think she will like me! Im not pretty im ugly im not the happiest child ever im the depressit child ever! Nobody likes me for who i am!

  5. I’m 12 years old and I’ve been thinking about suicide for years dealing with the things that’s happened to me like my dad calling me a worthless and I’ve let my hair go and my mom threatened to cut my hair all of but there’s so many knots but if I show up to school with no hair I’ll go through even more torture I haven’t told anyone that I’m Suicidal but I don’t know what to do?

  6. I see so many comments. Feel so hopeless snd alone, i am not the only one. Anyone else just feel like they need a friend to listen and understand? I dont want to die, i just want the pain of being alone to go away. Anyone wanna chat or need a friend 33 male here. Yagyuinc@inbox.com if anyone needd a friend or wants to lend an ear.

  7. I have really bad socal anxiety and I have many panic attacks and I’m also suicidal but I don’t know what to do as I don’t have a good relationship with my parents and I have trouble trusting people as I have had many experience of being vunrable and being taken advantage of.

    I just don’t know what to do as I feel useless and terrible and I constantly get worried due to school and high expectations and I have trouble trusting people and no one can take me seriously and think I’m just begging for attention

  8. hi again guys it was just my birthday and i got into a screaming match with my mother, i got nothing from anyone and only 2 people came to my bday party and the only reason they came were because their parents felt bad and forced them to, and they told me, repeatedly, i cant take it anymore. I dont even know if you guys care, my life is pathetic and no one would notice the shy guy gone so i wont be hurting anyone, i get bullied in school every day and the teachers dont do shit i almost killed myself a couple of years ago, in fact i was sitting on the windowsil for 10 minutes but im too much of a coward to kill myself i have some bleach though…

  9. I’m 14 and I have no friends, people act nice when we are alone but together they are horrible, my mother hates me and doesnt believe that im suicidal and im too shy to tell anyone about it, Iv never actually had a friend and i just stay home and play video games, im horrible at school and i have a porn addiction, i cant stop, im trapped…

  10. I am pretty young, and I haven”t felt very good about myself in the past few years . I think I am a little bit depressed, and I don’t know how to deal with my suicidal thoughts.

  11. I have had suicidal thoughts for the past 12 years or so. I got married last year. During bad times of marriage it triggers suicidal thoughts. I love my husband and don’t want to hurt him so I have never told him about the suicidal thoughts. But recently the thoughts are getting worse. I’ve been thinking about slowly winding down from work and “preparing” for the next steps. I don’t know how to tell him because I don’t want to upset him but also I don’t want him to be taken by surprise if I actually do it. What should I do?

  12. 50+ gay male bipolar having one of my major depressions now for 2 weeks + can’t sleep insomnia no apatite & thinking of cutting my wrist or sleeping pills, can’t stop crying, call suicide hotline but just recording, decided to drink hope it would help sleep didn’t work, I’m not harmful to others only myself, just very painful when major depression hits me never it comes out of the blue

  13. Hi, I’m a 37 year old black male who is feeling lost and hopeless. The reason why I am writtting this is because I have giving up on life a faith. I don’t wanna be here on earth any more and I’m sick of all the fussing, arguing,lying, and deciteful things that’s going on in my life. I’m a married man who has been in this marriage for 9 whole years as of August of next month. My wife and I have been through alot since the day we became as one. And I can honestly say that everything wasn’t so good nor bad! We had our good times, and I have enjoyed them alot, but since we had to move from one city to another, things really started to fall apart between us. She was in an accident and had to have surgery, and rely on pain medications to help her through the day. Now she is addicted to them and it’s killing me to watch her go through this stage of life, because I have family members who are on drugs and have been all my life. Therefore, I’m pissed off and I don’t want to go through it any more, cause I can’t handle this any more and trying to talk to my wife about it seems to not matter at all. All I ever hear and I have already expressed my apologies for the wrong doings in my life is what I’ve done wrong. I feel as I’m the cause to everyone’s problems, so what is the purpose of me being here around individuals who don’t really want me around. I don’t have any biological kids to call my own and that hurts me to have a woman throw their kids up in my face. I guess I have a soft spot to care what others my think of me, but I don’t any more because I’m truly giving up on everything. I don’t have a job, a house, a car nor any money to maintain a decent life, I feel like a total looser and a complete failure to everyone around me. I believe in God but sometimes I ask him why do I have to go through this BS and why do I have to be punished for trying to be right in life? Now about to be 38 I just don’t have the strength to argue, fuss, nor fight with anyone any more because if I honestly do, I know in my heart that someone will get hurt really bad and die or someone will kill me.. The 30th of this month is my birthday and if I don’t see any changes soon, God is my witness I won’t be here for to long. I’m done with Drama, life, and fake individuals who are no good and play as if I’m stupid or slow, yes I have done drugs and I hate it with a passion, but that doesn’t make me out to be stupid! Only a little bit smarter about how people look down on me and smile all in your face at the same time! It’s over with everything!

  14. in my case u did try suicide I was only 17,too many problems and pressure and having no one.Today I’m 44 and I be feeling the same I cry for no reason and I feel like I have nothing do to us this place anymore I feel like it won’t make no difference been here or not, is very sad and painful. No one to talk too or trust and be understood..

  15. So what do you do when the mental health professionals are the ones that turn you away? I live in Australia and people are dying every day from being turned away from psych hospitals when they are suicidal.

    • hi sela, that is a hard place when we feel we are not wanted. the medical community is so full of shit imo. they tell you to reach out only to be tossed out with the trash. it happens here a LOT in the USA too.
      cyber hugz. d

  16. Good morning all.

    @denise, Id like to say sorry if I offended you. Is not my intention discuss here about religion. As said Tiffany, I only would like to share a hope message. I talked with people who had the same doubts. Here is not the right place to talk about this issue. I can assure you that all these doubts have answers. The Bible is a history book, so, if we wanna see its truth, we must to look at history. But as I said, here is not the place, I respect your opinion, sure, but here is my email [moderated] if you or anyone else want to know the answer to all these doubts. God loves you anyway.

    @Tiffany, I would like to thank you for everything that you said here, and i would be pretty glad in talk with you.

  17. Hello. My name is Piter and I am 20. And I can tell you with all my heart that I know a person that loves each one here, and his names is Jesus Christ. Jesus said: “I am the way, the truth and the life” – John 14.6. He is the life, and this is awasome, we only find a good motive to live when we find Jesus and His Word. Please, think about it, Jesus love you and love me, God love you and love me: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” – John 3.16.

    If you want to know Jesus, and if you want to know how can himlove us, please, let me know, I can pass my email, and we can talk about God, about His love, and how He want to that we live and no die.

    May God bless each one here.

    • @ piter, this is a bipolar site, NOT a jesus will save our sorry asses site. IF i wanted to hear about jesus i will go to church or got to an on line group. thax but no thaxs!!! it is people like you that keep me FAR AWAY from churches and most christians so if your goal is to get us there, ya better find a better tactic cause this ain’t workin’ .

      • There is nothing wrong with sharing a hope that has helped many people through depression and hard times. Many psychiatrists will encourage a person in their religious belief because there are statistics that it does help. But just because it’s not something you think would work for you is no reason to bash it. It’s not a tactic to just get people to church, there are many Christians that don’t go to church, it’s simply sharing a hope that we’ve found. If I discovered a cure for my Fibro that worked for me, or even something that helped me through it, I’d want to let others know too. Maybe it wont help everyone, maybe they wont like it, but they don’t have to. I wouldn’t be forcing it on anyone. Piter was not forcing this on anyone. It was simply an invitation and the offer is there. You can take it or leave it, your choice.

        I can only testify that Jesus has made the hugest difference in my own life, beyond what I can describe. I may encourage people to give Jesus a chance in their heart, but I’ll never force that or even despise a person if they chose not to. And I would ask that people extend that same respect and love to us. Everyone has a right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion, we all have our own opinions and can speak of it, but we should be able to at least say what we say, and respond to what is said, in a respectful manner.

        Thank you.

        • Tiffany and anyone else who wants to preach their mythology on a bipolar site. Yes you have that right. I will not deny it. but i search the truth and the bible is not it.
          Some things can not be true or false simply because I so desire it. I am not that naive. Do you doubt that thunder is caused by the anger of Zeus or that Allah is the one true god? Like myself, you see them as myths created to explain the unknown, to give life some kind of meaning, to enhance culture, or to empower the ruling caste. They are born in human imagination, and can be explained without reference to a supernatural world.
          There are many gods that Christians reject. I believe in one less god then you do. You are welcome to try and convince me that Christianity is true, but you should know that I am not going to, “just believe” by faith. I will demand a substantiation.
          If you say the bible is reliable, I will ask you to prove it. I will ask why the bible contains so many errors and contradictions. If you are not familiar with the findings of critical biblical scholars with diverse points of view, I will view your contradictions with suspicion. Neither will I believe because millions of others do. Truth is not determined by a vote. If it were, the world would still be flat.
          Here are my questions if this is now a christian bipolar site.
          Is there a higher judge of truth then reason?
          After centuries of bitter religious fighting, why is your mind suddenly blessed with the true way of thinking?
          Is the violent history of the church consistent with the message of love?
          What is a contradiction and what would the bible have to say in order to be discrepant?
          Why should inner religious experience point to anything outside the mind?
          What is god, exactly, and why do you think one exists?

          Sin is a primitive idea. I sense no need to worship, confess, or apologize to anyone. I feel no guilt and therefor no desire to be saved from anything.
          I don’t claim to have all the answers, but if you want me to hear your message, then I will ask you to listen to mine. There is a wealth of scholarly and informative material, on the bible. Read some of Dan Barker’s writings. He may help you to see that Jesus is no different then Zues or Alla, or any other religious deity that you believe to be wrong.
          Just check out your own bible for the contradictions. Ex. 20:13 Thou shalt not kill, to Ex 32:27 Thus saith the lord to Israel, put every man his sword by his side . . . . and slay every man his brother . . . companion, . . .neighbor.
          Sam 6:19; 15:2,3: Num 15:36.
          i could go on and on about the contradictions in the bible as they are endless.
          What I really find interesting is that woman believe in this stuff. The bible has a rape manual, did you know? Have YOU read it? Deuteronomy 21:11-14, 22:5, how about the virgin test 22:13-21, “if a woman is raped, stone both the rapist and the woman” 22:23-24 and on and on!
          No matter how much I pray to Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Horus, Adonis,Krishna, Attis or (you fill in the blank) they are all a story of mythology, not truth. Jesus and the list of names above are all mythology. ALL of them!
          Yes, you have the right to talk and believe what you wish as do i, but how is this helping others with their BP?

          I HATE religion with a passion and I HATE being preached to even more. So if you want me to to continue to tell you how much I hate it, then keep up your preachin’. I have much more I can say about how ridiculous religion is and not only ridiculous, but HARMFUL it is!
          Don’t even get me started on the TEN COMMANDMENTS!

          • Forgive me if I have offended you, I was not intending to preach to you, I made it clear you had a choice. I went into no lengthy detail (and neither did Piter) of trying to convince anyone. Just shared my own testimony and people can think of it what they will. Though if anyone wishes to come to me with a genuine question with an interest to learn more, I will very happily share my private email (as Piter offered) and discuss it with them. However, no one is forcing you to believe anything. This was a public comment invitation for anyone that was not even directed specifically at you. No one is trying to convince you. You have very clearly shown your belief and I will not enter into a whole debate with you about religion, this is not a debate and you have made it clear you don’t want to be convinced, and that is fine. I will wipe the sand of my feet from that. Although as I mentioned, if any one had a genuine interest for answers to such questions, I will gladly discuss with you. And I may be wrong, however it sounds more to me you may be a bit forceful in wanting me to defend my beliefs and wanting me to disbelieve them instead of accepting my beliefs as I have accepted yours. I can accept your beliefs and still stand true to my own. My invitation is for reaching out to those who may have a genuine interest and want to know more, which is clearly not for you. And again, that is fine, but why have any hostility?

            My whole initial reason for commenting was to make the point that we should be able to respect one another’s beliefs and speak of them in a civil manner. Speaking in love and respect for one another instead of in hostility. Forcing a belief on someone would not be respectful or civil, that is why preaching was never my intent, but we should also be able to share those beliefs and invite conversation with those who may be interested.

            I do understand this is a Bipolar site, and there are challenges that come with such a disorder. Though as hard as they may be, there is hope that we can overcome these challenges and learn to treat one another with love and respect, no matter one’s belief. And we can express our beliefs without hostility.

            It is amazing the healing that can be done in ourselves when we learn to change our perspective on things and the way we think, and thus react. Happiness is often found simply in the way we view something. If you haven’t already, there is an incredible program I have found to help with that, something completely un-religious you may or may not have interest in. It is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and, if you’d like to go a little more in depth, DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy.) They are both well worth looking up. They may not work for everyone, but it’s worth looking into and finding out for yourself. Again, an invitation only if you are interested, if not that is fine as well. We all have challenges in our lives and I hope the best for you.

            Peace.

          • With that aside, if you truly are interested to discuss your questions in depth with me, I will offer my email, for you or anyone else to message me anytime. [moderated]

    • @Piter

      Hello Piter. Thank you for sharing this uplifting message. It takes courage.

      I too have found a friend in Jesus. He has helped me through so much. It is always encouraging to share our testimonies and talk of His love.

      If you’d like, my email is [moderated]

      God bless, and may you always find peace. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

    • I want to learn more about God but it’s so hard for me to be oblivious to this world and get into the bible to learn wisdom and knowledge. Please help

  18. I’m feeling anxiety and suicidal PLUS being stuck in a different state in the country does not make matters better, I’m left alone all the time, my car got repossessed about 6 months ago, I was dating a guy who I thought was my other half. The most feared thing on my mind is constantly being alone, I can’t help it, some people like to be left alone, but when your fear is being alone and having no one to talk to, can’t even make decent friends here, it’s just crucial and aggravating, I feel I’ve wasted my entire life, I hadn’t done anything special besides graduating high school and even that was almost. Help :(

  19. I want help but cannot convince myself i will ever be better any intervention or attempt to reach out causes me to isolate myself further

  20. i am from a conservative community in India, here marriages are arranged by parents and within same caste. i am an educated self employed woman of 34 years of age, i am ugly and my parents could not fix my marriage in the conventional way .they regard me as a source of their embarrassment( because of my unmarried state).
    now about an year back a very nice person from a lower caste has fallen in love with me and i probably could not live without him.
    two options for me, die and make it look like an accident and save embarrassment for my parents,
    or, marry this person and cause my parents immense pain ,

    i guess there are times when death is a merciful release, my personal thought, my present experience. my parents and brother will be hurt by embarrassment attached to a suicide in the family but not my death, it will sort all their problems out.

    Additional Details
    my parents won’t change and saying suicide is a bad thing is just plain lame. do you think breaking up from my bf will soften the blow on him? my parents won’t be sad at my death if there is no scandal,i want to make it look like disease or accident,please help me in making it so.when approached a family friend with my friend she just told me to live happily as an elderly spinster! wow… i would rather die and make my parents free of the liability i have become for them. i hate my life as it is…

    • Why would you want to commit suicide. Break the boundaries and marry your boyfriend, even if he s from a lower caste. I live in Bahrain and my friends are Indian, philipino and other gulf nationals. What you re describing is a cultural reality in many parts of the world, but you earn your own money, so make a life of your own with the person you love. How could you even think suicide would be a better option to embarrassing your parents because of you wanting to marry someone in a lower caste. Make history. Affirm yourself. I would love to talk with you.

  21. Died by Suicide… brought me here. I attempted suicide three times, in different years, because of people who either hassled me at school or told me to go away.

    I survived but my brother did not – he suffered from depression brought on by job difficulties, and jumped off a bridge. I still wonder why he did not get professional help beforehand.

  22. Solid advice on a crucial topic. I often tell folks we humans can bounce back from just about anything given time and effort and help, unless we’re dead. No bouncing back from that.

    Sadly, we lose roughly 30,000 Americans this way year after year, ten 9-11s each year, 18,000 of them with guns: a tiny fraction of the attempts but a 99% death rate. Guns kill the shooter 50% more often than that they do everyone else put together, sad in that playing the odds, many of these poor souls probably strongly defended their access to the means of their demise.

    Again, thanks for your important work.

    • Greg,

      Two words for you: Andrea Yates. She was bipolar and drowned her 5 children in a bathtub. I knew her and her family.

      Please don’t mix politics with this illness as you do everyone a disservice. People who wish to kill themselves don’t need a gun to do it. It’s that kind of fuzzy thinking that obfuscates the real issues surrounding depression which is not related in any way or form to our Constitutional rights….that is…unless someone or group is trying to strip them away from us. Now that’s enough to get anyone depressed.

  23. Two years ago my girlfriend and I had our last big argument, and she ended up leaving. My spiral downward throughout that day was terrible. In the back of my mind I was contemplating suicide. what little hold I had left on life was diminishing every hour.

    I called 911 and told the operator I needed help. an ambulance came, took me to the ER. I was questioned by a doctor, who was very numb to my emotions. He spent 5 minutes with me. I told him the truth, that I was battling suicidal thoughts and I called 911 because I feared I was losing the battle. I said “No one wants to die, but the pain is so much my mind is telling me it’s the only way out…I am afraid if I don;t get help I may lose”

    I was given some pamphlets, a list of phone numbers and discharged. No health insurance I was hit with an enormous bill for the ambulance ride, and the ER visit. The person behind the desk telling me the charges was oblivious to my situation.

    Since my girlfriend and I had just split up, I had no one to call to come get me. I had to walk 3 miles home through the city. The wind was blowing 25mph, I was dehydrated and my head hurt from crying all day. I stopped at an overpass and pondered just jumping off in to traffic.

    I will never call for help again. If anything, that call made things worse for me. It haunts me any time I get low. I reached out, told people exactly what was on my mind and was sent out the door with charges I could not pay.

  24. What I hate about telling people your feeling suicidal is they don’t always take you seriously and think you’re just trying to get attention. I’ve heard a lot of people claim that if you’re really suicidal you wouldn’t tell anyone… and its so frustrating and hurts to hear that. I always take it seriously when I hear someone say it, cause I know what it’s like. And I try to get them all the help they need. I don’t take chances, cause it’s truly life or death. And when someone’s trying to reach out as their last attempt… that one rejection could’ve been their last hope, and send them over the edge.

  25. I’m not suicidal, btw. I just read my post and realized it sounded a bit like I was. I haven’t been in over a year, but before getting diagnosed as bipolar, starting meds and getting therapy I was quite intimate with it.

  26. Being bipolar, I have a very intimate relationship with suicide. The thing I hate about calling help lines and telling other people is that they always want you to go to the hospital, to get immediate help. There have been times when I wished I could have called someone, said I was feeling suicidal, and just talked. Not have my # traced and cops show up, not have a well-meaning friend contact a family member to come and get me…just to talk and listen. I get worried that-with the best of intentions-i’ll be put in the psych ward on a hold. That in itself is a deterrent to talk to anyone. The great things about those crisis lines is that you can talk to an anonymous person who you won’t have to face the next day. but i always worry that they’ll call the cops to my house for a well fare check.

    • I exponentially, 100.000% agree with you Liz on not telling well meaning friends about how I feel. I have had very good talks with the on-line crisis line people, but I never am really able to tell them exactly how I feel. No matter how bad I am, I always tell them I have no plan and that I will be OK and NEVER hang up abruptly on them, the cops WILL be called!

      My biggest worry is who will take care of my little dog. I can’t just leave for the hospital every time I am feeling suicidal. People never take that into consideration. I know if I kill myself, she has a home with my sister across the mountains, but not when I need to be in the hospital. I can’t just go there and drop her off. Do you or anyone reading this have any solutions to what they do with their pets when in the H?

      Thanx,
      D

  27. The comment above by CM speaks to me and reflects my own thoughts and path. I’m a senior citizen, too. I just want to die in such way it looks like a accident so my friends and family do not suffer with the aftermath. Thinking of the pain a suicide would inflict upon my children is the only thing keeping me here….until I can figure out a way to make it look like an accident beyond a shadow of a doubt, that doesn’t leave me alive in worse condition.

  28. My mother attempted suicide when I was 15. The scars that attempt made were not only hers to bear, but mine as well. As I grew older and started experiencing depressive thoughts or feelings, I prided myself on being able to bring myself out of them and work through them. I had a mantra that would run through my head during those times. It was “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation” That has served me so well throughout life, and I have talked to my children about suicide and they now have that mantra to think about.

    But that all changed on May 20th 2010 when I was hit by a truck while crossing a crosswalk. My left leg was shattered and during the healing phase I developed a chronic pain condition called CRPS which is informally dubbed by those of us who have it, the Suicide disease because no one dies from CRPS, yet so many with CRPS die.

    My mantra no longer works. I have a permanent situation. So I have struggled with suicidal idealization for almost 3 years now and I know I will never do it, but living with this disease and knowing I could be out of pain so easily by taking my own life. The medical bills I am accumulating, the burden I am placing on my family. All gone if I could just kill myself. I have a plan. I have a very detailed plan, but again, I would never do it, and living like this is not living. Having zero quality of life is not living. But in this hell I call limbo until I die is my life and my bed, I must lie in it for whatever reason

  29. Thanks for writing this. People need to know who to go to when they need help.

    I’ve tried going to all the wrong people before and was burned for it- badly. They pretended to want to listen to me and help, but secretly laughed behind my back.

    I later found out people were even taking recordings of me. It was like some bizarre rendition of The Truman Show where I was the star. I had a huge following, for all the wrong reasons.

    • Oh that is terrible, I am so sorry that some people can be so cruel. I had something happen similar, but not as bad that has really set me back in my dealing with trust issues. Learning who to trust is hard.
      I am glad we have each other here to support each other when we run into incredibly mean and insensitive people.
      My sister said to me, “this too shall pass”. It does not take the pain away but having hopes helps. I do have some wonderful people in my life that I did open up to about my thoughts, but in reaching out, I was hurt by many, but I try to focus on what I gained, rather then lost.
      I hope you have some support and understanding people in your life. If not, keep reaching out. Don’t give up, there ARE good people out here!

      • Forget it. If I ever had the urge to kill myself, and I reached out and was burned, you can believe that will be the last time I ever say anything about that again. People are completely useless for the most part. And if someone is helpful, it ends up on the news because it is so rare. I think about all the people that have tried to reach out to no avail. The sad, faceless folks who ended up blowing their brains out. it’s sad because an episode could be such a scary thing. I have attempted suicide in the past but never succeeded. I never said anything about it then. I should have just stuck to that protocol.

      • I am sure you are trying to console Ember, but I think saying some people are cruel is an understatement. These people are beyond cruel. I once heard a cop say “there are two types of crazy – crazy-crazy and crazy mean. Sociopaths are crazy in a really mean way. Oh yes, sociopathy/psycopathy/anti-social behavior really is a form of mental illness. Saying “this too shall pass” is putting it lightly. In truth, it is difficult getting over the crap and misery that is their only form of generosity. Why? Because these people are without a heart or soul. But you better believe they will project this back to you. Ember, you are unfortunate to have this going on while dealing with a mood disorder at the same time. I am sorry that this happened to you. I wish I could say that there are good people out there, but in truth, they are rare. Dealing with jerks like this is the norm. And most people will not call these jerks out for many reasons. Maybe because they sense they will be the next person to confront their wrath. Or because no one else is speaking up against it. The only consolation I can honestly give you is that you are probably not the only person they do this to. These types of people will always need someone to victimize because that is how they build their ego. Otherwise, they are nothing. And unfortunately, having a mood disorder can make you an easy target if the inopportune time presents itself. Good luck.

    • Ember. So sorry to hear about that. You have to wonder about the type of people who do that sort of thing. I once heard someone say “there are two kinds of crazy – crazy-crazy and crazy-mean”. The latter are essentially sociopaths, which btw is a form of mental illness. These folks really dont have a heart or soul, and they cant handle the turmoil and rage of their interior landscape – so they project it out negatively. From what I understand, it is pretty difficult “getting over” the crap and misery that is their only form of generosity. Good luck finding the “good people”. There is alot of them out there. The only consolation is I’m sure you arent the only one they do this to as it is the only way they can build up their ego.

  30. I never thought I would never see my age reach 67. Suicide ‘is of course’ and not a choice. Some of us die long before we are laid to rest. How you commit the act is not always real but certainly surreal. Your thoughts play out the episode, your body cowardly escapes action. But something in you dies with each missed reservation to eternity. Eventually you are an empty human with no regard for your life or the lives of others – your lacking in emotion. You have killed yourself time and time again. Your body lives, but you don’t care.

    My religion does not permit suicide. My love of the arts keeps my illusions in good health. When you find something to live for you hang on – no other way to say it. Or its the feeling of a constant post traumatic stress syndrom, because all the symptoms are there. This sounds depressing doesn’t it? A sardonic outlook on life is a poor lens. Any insight is better than none. The beat goes on… the pun is intended.

    • Seriously? This is the most irrelevant response I’ve ever heard on this topic. You really have no business peddling your nonsense in response to something you obviously don’t understand. Go away troll.

  31. Such an important topic and one that we can all benefit from knowing. When we are in that place it’s hard to imagine anything getting better. But there is a solution to every problem. Suicide isn’t the answer. And it always gets better.

    Waiting for PART 2.