“Fake it ’til you make it” with mental illness, does that actually work? In fact, does that really work when it comes to anything? Considering how often you hear it, it seems like it should. Here’s an examination of faking it and making it in specific situations and when you have a serious mental illness like bipolar disorder.
What Is ‘Fake It ‘Til You Make It?’
Fake it ’til you make it is a piece of advice that some people have given, according to Wikipedia, since before 1973. More modern incarnations of this include “act as if.”
Faking it until you make it posits that if you mimic something that you want to have — like, say, an optimistic mindset — you will eventually have it. Three major ways this has been used is through cognitive behavioral therapy principles, in 12-step groups and in the law of attraction movement
In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you are is split into three domains: thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Each of the domains affects the other two and if you can control one area, you can affect the others. For example, if you change your behavior (like, say, faking a smile) then it will affect your thoughts (make them more positive) and change your emotions (make you less sad). There are many examples of this in CBT.
Regarding 12-step groups, in the book, AA to Z; An Addictionary of the 12-Step Culture by Christopher Cavanaugh, “fake it ’til you make it” is described as:
“. . . a suggestion often made to newcomers who feel they can’t get the program and will go back to old behavior. The suggestion implies that if the newcomer acts according to the steps and teachings of the program, then the program will begin to work . . .”
So in this case, if you act sober (obviously the main tenant of such a group) and in a manner consistent with the 12 steps, those steps will eventually work for you in keeping your sober.
Finally, the law of attraction movement uses versions of this old chestnut, too. A major example of this is in the bestseller The Secret by Rhonda Byrne where it’s called “act as if.” Byrne explains it in the following way:
“How do you get yourself to a point of believing? Start make-believing. Be like a child, and make-believe. Act as if you have it already. As you make-believe, you will begin to believe you have received.”
(That last quote makes me dry-heave a little.)
Can You ‘Fake It ‘Til You Make It?’
One thing I do know is that in certain limited situations, fake it ’til you make it actually seems to work. For example, when you force a smile, it actually can make you feel less stressed and more positive. I know that sounds like malarky, but that’s actually the result of study. Mental Floss’s article here shares that tip and seven other times when faking it really does seem to help you.
For me, I do use some of those principles in my everyday life.
When it comes to 12-step groups, I have no doubt that there would be staunch believers that “fake it ’til you make it” works; after all, I think that’s where I first heard the saying (when attending therapy for my father’s addiction). However, some would argue that authenticity matters more.
And as for the law of attraction? Don’t get me started on that bollocks. The idea that you will receive what you believe is nonsense. If this were true, there wouldn’t be starving children in third-world countries as I’m quite sure that they all want food with every fiber of their being.
Mental Illness and ‘Fake It ‘Til You Make It’
It gets complicated when you get into serious subjects like starving children and serious mental illness.
Watch this video for more on how I feel about mental illness and the fake it ’til you make it philosophy.
In short, I’m never about taking away tools from people that work. This means that if some component of “fake it ’til you make it” works for you, you shouldn’t be discouraged and you shouldn’t stop doing it.
It also means, though, that if this trite saying doesn’t work for you, you also shouldn’t feel discouraged. You’re in good company, I suspect.
Image by: Simon Brown [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons.
Nice read. Myself, being a person recovering from Schizo-Affective disorder with PTSD, I had a lot of recovering to do over the last 18 years. Actually, I learned a lot during this time and, like yourself, gained a lot of experience and insight on the topic, so I started a blog to help people with mental illnesses.
I’ve tried to “Fake-it-till-I-make-it” many times… haven’t been able to hold a job for more than 3 months for the last 18 years. I used to be a truck driver before I got married and then pregnant. Then, I got a psychosis. Recovering has been HARD. I’m sure you have similar experiences with your Bi-polar… you want to make the journey easier for others who might face the same kind of suffering.
I really appreciate you and where you are coming from. You can check out my blog post that best goes along with your topic by clicking my name. Much success to you and warmest wishes!
– Elaine Nicol
I been struggling since I was a child with mental illness never addressed it as a problem til my 20s. I am 44ys old now an at my wits end. I used to take it til I made it. Or so I thought but I started crashing so badly this last year afraid will become homeless an feel guilt cause my 21yr son lives here an my disabled mother. They will become homeless also. I am in bad bad way. I can’t get out. This week trying to work will b my last chance. I have had 17 temp. Jobs in year never kept more 3 days.
Hi Slowlyfading,
I’m so sorry you’re in that situation. I experienced mental illness symptoms as a child and didn’t get help until I was an adult too.
I don’t know what kind of help you’re getting, but it sounds like it’s not the best help for you. I hope you can find a more effective treatment and lean on your loved ones to help get you through this challenging time. If you haven’t already done so, I recommend you call the National Helpline. Not only can they be a listening ear but they can also refer you to additional supports you may not know about. You can find their number here: https://natashatracy.com/get-mental-illness-help/ You do not have to be suicidal to call.
Good luck. You’re in a very hard situation but people get through hard.
– Natasha Tracy
I am beginning CBT therapy( what they are calling it) I have been living with bipolar disorder for about 12 years. I don’t know if it matters but I should mention Disassociation, ADHD, and Seizures are also part of my official diagnosis. While manic, I have done unmentionable things and apparently this mindful therapy is something I should try.
Hi Dulce,
I would never try to talk someone out of trying CBT — I think it’s a great therapy that helps many people. Good luck.
– Natasha Tracy
It’s a slightly grittier way of talking about the value of developing certain desireable practices into habits, which certainly has its place. For the neurobiology fans, it’s strenthening certain pathways. It probably works as well for people with mental health issues as for everyone else, i.e. sometimes. From a behavioural activation point of view, is it better to sit around and do nothing, or take a step towards change, even if it feels inauthentic? Most of us have enough excuses for not doing things that involve scary change, so if this is one practical way to overcome an objection, I’m good with it. ?
Your analysis of CBT is thought-provoking – and sobering. I’ve never had the opportunity to do a CBT course, but now I’d be a little less likely to jump at it if offered. I would add that I have come across this concept in many management and business books – it seems to have spread everywhere!
Hi Paul,
I, honestly, wouldn’t want to dissuade you from trying the therapy. It helps many; and, of course, it’s more complex than what is said here. I always consider it worth a try for people.
– Natasha Tracy