Some would argue trauma can cause bipolar disorder. I would argue bipolar itself, feels like a trauma. I’m not suggesting bipolar disorder de facto gives you posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but I am saying the trauma reactions seen in trauma survivors are similar to what I experience with chronic, obstructive, severe bipolar disorder.

Traumatized by Bipolar Disorder

I was walking down the street this morning and I realized I was feeling traumatized. I felt like something terrible had happened to me and I was trying to bounce back. I felt like the terrible thing that happened to be was bipolar disorder. I was feeling traumatized by all that bipolar disorder has brought into my life.

And really, contracting any serious, chronic illness is a trauma, if a highly underrecognized one. It really is like experiencing a major death or another horrible event.

Trauma Reactions to Bipolar Disorder

I’m not suggesting I have PTSD, I’m just suggesting I’m experiencing trauma reactions.

According to the National Center for PTSD in the United States, common reactions after trauma include:

  • Trauma responses vary but is it possible to experience bipolar disorder like a trauma? Does bipolar disorder sometimes feel like a trauma?Feeling hopeless about the future
  • Feeling detached or unconcerned about others
  • Having trouble concentrating or making decisions
  • Feeling jumpy and getting startled easily at sudden noises
  • Feeling on guard and constantly alert
  • Having disturbing dreams and memories or flashbacks
  • Having work or school problems
  • Stomach upset and trouble eating
  • Trouble sleeping and feeling very tired
  • Pounding heart, rapid breathing, feeling edgy
  • Sweating
  • A severe headache if thinking of the event
  • Failure to engage in exercise, diet, safe sex, regular health care
  • Excess smoking, alcohol, drugs, food
  • Having your ongoing medical problems get worse
  • Feeling nervous, helpless, fearful, sad
  • Feeling shocked, numb, and not able to feel love or joy
  • Avoiding people, places, and things related to the event
  • Being irritable or having outbursts of anger
  • Becoming easily upset or agitated
  • Blaming yourself or having negative views of oneself or the world
  • Distrust of others, getting into conflicts, being over-controlling
  • Being withdrawn, feeling rejected, or abandoned
  • Loss of intimacy or feeling detached

Do those sound familiar to anyone? Do those sound like reactions to the diagnosis of bipolar disorder or to the realities around living with bipolar disorder? For me, the answer is “yes.” I have put the ones in bold that I, particularly, feel.

Does Trauma Cause Bipolar Disorder?

I just want to mention that trauma, in and of itself, does not cause bipolar disorder. If you take a look at my article, Are People Born with Bipolar Disorder?, you’ll see that trauma may be one part (a marble in the jar) of what causes bipolar disorder to manifest, but make no mistake, trauma itself does not cause bipolar disorder. Many factors have to be present for bipolar disorder to manifest. The fact that some bipolar symptoms look like trauma reactions is simply a crossover of symptoms common to many mental illnesses.

Getting Over the Trauma of Bipolar Disorder

I, of course, have been dealing with bipolar disorder for two decades, so if anyone should be over it, I should be. That said, acceptance of bipolar disorder is a process and many people get to acceptance, and then fall back, and then find it again, and fall back again, and so on. It’s a process, for sure, and it’s not a linear one. Acceptance of bipolar disorder is more a journey than a destination.

So maybe that means I destined to feel traumatized by bipolar disorder and the effect it has on me and my life forever. I don’t know. What I do know is that today, particularly, I felt traumatized by bipolar and needed extra self-care. So maybe that’s the lesson. Maybe the lesson is that sometimes bipolar disorder hits us like a traumatic wrecking ball and, you know, wrecks stuff, so that’s when we need extra self-care.

In the end, I think my trauma reactions around bipolar disorder are pretty common and if I do take them as a signal to increase self-care and decrease responsibilities, then it’s probably okay. Recognizing it for what it is, though, – a signal not to ignore — is the key.