Blaming Others for Bipolar Disorder

Blaming Others for Bipolar Disorder

It’s very natural to be angry when something egregiously bad – like getting bipolar disorder – happens to you. It’s not necessarily rational, per se, but it is normal. And when we’re mad about something we look for someone or something to blame. We look for someone to blame for our bipolar disorder. Again, this isn’t a rational, or even conscious thing, it’s really just a natural reaction to an extremely unfortunate situation, but it really isn’t healthy.

Who to Blame for Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a disease of the brain and it can happen to anyone, so really, there is no one to blame. However, if you wish to back it up, our genetics and life events are primarily to blame for bipolar disorder. This means we could blame our families. It also means we could blame any traumatic events we may have suffered for our bipolar disorder.

For me, this means I can blame my father’s side of the family, where mental illness definitely resides, and I could also blame my own history where in events like a sexual assault have occurred when I was younger. And, of course, I could blame the people in my life for “letting” the sexual assault take place – in my case, namely my mother. So I could go around blaming my parents for my bipolar disorder.

What Happens When You Blame People for Your Bipolar Disorder?

And, of course, if I were to blame my parents for my bipolar disorder, I would be walking around very angry, much of the time. I would take this anger out on them, and probably others. The anger would be big, bad and scary. This anger would tear at me from the inside. It would be fire singeing me and everyone around me.

Being Unaware of Our Anger about Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar and BlameWhen I lay it out like that, I know it sounds like it’s so illogical to be angry that no one would do it. But the fact of the matter is, people do. People do blame others for their bipolar disorder. People do blame events for their bipolar disorder. People get very, very angry about being sick. And this anger may be subconscious. It may come out in stabs of aggression that we don’t understand. It may come out as snaps against those around us, even those that we love.

We Need to Let Go of Our Anger about Bipolar Disorder

But this anger is very dangerous and self-destructive. It is not a healthy coping technique. It does not enrich our lives. It does not embetter us, it embitters us and it certainly doesn’t have a positive effect on our bipolar disorder.

The first thing to do is to get in touch with this anger. Look for it. Feel it. Get to know it. It’s not really your enemy. It’s really just a part of you and not something to judge.

Once you find that anger it’s time to recognize what it really is – anger over being sick – which is okay. It’s a stage in grieving, which we all do about bipolar disorder. But it’s important to move beyond this stage so that we can keep going forward as people. That anger will hold us back. And none of us need another barrier in our lives.

In short, the anger is normal, it’s nothing to feel bad about, but it is something to face and let go of. Because it’s not fair to blame our bipolar disorder on anyone or anything. It’s just a bad role of the dice. And that could happen to anyone.


About Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, speaker and consultant from the Pacific Northwest. She has been living with bipolar disorder for 18 years and has written more than 1000 articles on the subject.

Natasha’s New Book

Find more of Natasha’s work in her new book: Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar. Media inquiries can be emailed here.

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