One of the things that drives me crazy is that there is no “right way” to deal with bipolar disorder. There is no “right” treatment, there is no “right” therapy, there no “right” anything when it comes to bipolar disorder. When I look at the roadmap of my past treatment, it is so winding that this is clear. And the thing that really gets me is when I look at my future treatment roadmap, I see that uncertainty too. It makes it so hard to make a decision when there is no right way to deal with bipolar disorder.

The ‘Right’ Treatment for Bipolar Disorder

But isn’t there a “right” treatment for bipolar disorder? After all, I’ve written a treatment algorithm to help people with this very question. (Multiple algorithms are included in my Lost Marbles book.)

But what you see when you look at a treatment algorithm for bipolar disorder is that it offers choices at every step – each with the same amount of evidence. So even if you follow evidence-based bipolar treatment practices, there still isn’t one right way to treat bipolar disorder.

The ‘Right’ Way to Deal with Bipolar Episodes

And while there are coping skills galore for bipolar disorder (Coping with Bipolar Emotions Using Logic), there is no one “right” one, or even ones, to deal with bipolar disorder episodes (What Bipolar Mixed Moods Really Feel Like). What helps one person does nothing, or even harms, another. What gels with one person boggles another. What one can do makes sense for one person and not another. There’s just choice, upon choice, upon choice when it comes to learning and implementing bipolar disorder coping skills (How to Practice Bipolar Coping Skills).

Isn’t Choice in Dealing with Bipolar Disorder Good?

In some respects, no “right” way to deal with bipolar disorder is good as we are not locked into any given treatment or practice. This gives us some semblance of control over our own everyday lives. I appreciate this. I do. After all, all non-mentally ill have all these choices on a day to day basis, so I suppose we should too.

The Problem with Having No ‘Right’ Way to Deal with Bipolar Disorder

The problem that I have with a lack of a “right” way to deal with bipolar disorder is this: I feel frozen in a swarm of choices, never knowing which one will help and which one will harm me.

For example, I have lots of problems with fatigue and pain in my everyday life. This means that sometimes I have to push past these things in order to get done the things I need to do to live. This also means that sometimes, if I do that, I will get much sicker. So sometimes this means that I must rest one day so that I can be functional the next.

The choice is always: do I push through the pain and continue doing what I’m doing or do I stop and rest?

The selection I make is vitally important as it affects my ability to be productive. If I’m productive today does that mean I’m going to pay for it with days of suffering? If I rest today does that mean I’m just giving into the illness and losing time when I could be productive?

And when I face this choice (and many, many others) it’s clear that there is no way of knowing which choice will be the best for my mental health and productivity. I know that recognizing limits in bipolar disorder is important, but I also know that always giving into bipolar disorder makes life untenable and the mortgage unpayable.

I just want to know the right way to deal with my bipolar disorder to make these decisions easier. I want some indication of which road to take. I want some arrow with a sign that says “this way to good mental health.” I want a guru or a swami that knows what it is that is best.

Is there a right way to deal with bipolar disorder? I don't think so. I hate the uncertainty of there being no right way of dealing with bipolar disorder.

But, of course, this person doesn’t exist and neither do the signs. I can use all I know about my mental illness and all I know about bipolar disorder in general and try to make sound choices. This is what I try to do. But I find the process achingly hard as I never know if I’m making the right choice. I know how crucial it is to handle decisions the right way for your own mental health and for your own quality of life, but I never know if the choice I make is truly best for me. I find it maddening.

I know there is uncertainty in life for all. I get that. I know that all the “normals” walking around out there share this uncertainty in their own lives. It’s a normal part of life.

The difference is the fact that there’s no “right” way to deal with bipolar disorder leads to such dire consequences when we’re wrong. When you’re really sick, when you’re really in the midst of an episode, decisions are hard enough to make simply due to episode symptoms and when you add on top of that this built-in uncertainty and knowledge that the wrong choice will seriously hurt you and/or your life, and I think it’s natural to feel frozen and unable to continue.

Dealing with Bipolar Disorder When There’s No ‘Right’ Way

Clearly, we need to deal with this uncertainty. I think it comes down to this: we all make the best decisions we have with the information we have at the time and understanding this, we need to give ourselves a break. The fact of the matter is, sometimes we will choose the thing that will make us worse. It happens.

But it happens to everyone. And while I know it sucks to look back and realize “If only I had chosen that, things would be better,” this is an experience every human has.

We have to accept that our choices have greater consequences and seek out the best information available in how to make them. But once we’ve done that, there’s not much else we can do except think critically (which, I know, is certainly hard enough).

So today I remind myself that while the way I handle bipolar disorder may not be “right,” it is the best I can do. Uncertainty needs to be accepted. And I can always do better next time. And that just has to be enough.