Category: Bipolar blog

How Does It Feel to Have Bipolar? Lonely

It’s common for people with bipolar disorder to feel isolated. Isolation comes from the person with bipolar choosing to isolate themselves and those around them walking away and forcing isolation on them.

So I commonly tell people with bipolar disorder to reach out. It’s important to reach out to people who will be supportive – because these people do exist. And it’s important to reach out to professionals and support groups so you don’t feel so alone with, what is undoubtedly, a very scary diagnosis.

But even when a person takes that advice, even when a person gets it all together, even when a person with bipolar does find supports, it’s still lonely.

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Calling all Manic Folks in the UK

Hi all.

Today I need to ask for your help. I’ve been asked to participate in another documentary – and I’m honored to do this. The documentarian is from CB Films and is working with Channel 4 in the UK.

UK Film Makers

The thing is, he’s looking for a person suffering from a manic episode who’s in the UK. Now, obviously, this is a big ask. In my experience it’s difficult to anticipate mania and once hypomania or mania rears its ugly head, it needs to be dealt with promptly and not allowed to continue.

All that being said, the documentarion is searching for someone suffering from a manic episode who is willing to be filmed during their episode.

Yup, that’s a toughie.

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How to Become a Famous Mental Health Writer/Blogger

One could argue that I am a famous mental health writer. Under “mental health writer” on Google, a post I wrote is on the first page and my bipolar blogs are on the first and second page of the Google search results for “bipolar blog.” Moreover, I have over 35,000 followers on Twitter, Facebook and Google+.

So yes, I’m arguably a “famous” mental health writer.

And lots of other people want to be where I am. I get questions weekly from people starting blogs or writing careers who want advice on how to go about doing it. Well, if you want to be a famous mental health writer, or just plain old build a following, here are a few tips.

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Escaping Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is an inescapable mistress. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you work, no matter how many medications you take, she is always there, ready to hit you over the head with a 2 X 4. True, some people are lucky enough be experiencing remission. In that case, the mistress is forced to take a few steps back. But for people not in remission, people in full-blown bipolar disorder, that mistress is relentless. Every minute of every day she steals your brain and makes life unbearably painful.

And I have found that if you also happen to be bipolar and anhedonic, almost nothing allows you escape from that reality. Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure and when truly anhedonic, no matter what you do, no matter how theoretically pleasurable that activity is, you will not feel that pleasure – no matter what. This is a concept that most people cannot fathom but believe me, an inability to feel pleasure is real.

I have, however, found one tiny escape. It’s something I do all the time. It’s a little embarrassing, actually. I manipulate physical sensations and responses. Yes, I have orgasms.

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My Bipolar Drug of Choice: Sleep

When I’m feeling particularly sick with bipolar disorder I am excessively tired. From the time I wake up in the morning until the time I blessedly get to go back to bed at night, I’m exhausted; and every moment my eyes are open is a struggle. (And yes, fatigue and tiredness are symptoms of bipolar depression.)

And after more time than I can fathom feeling like this, something occurred to me. It occurred to me that I get more than tired. I get to a place where the pain is forcing me to search for a drug to escape. And sleep is my escape. Sleep is my drug.

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Apologizing for Overreactions to Emotional Situations

Bipolar disorder is essentially your average emotions – only amplified. So bipolar is sadness, but to a level 11. Bipolar disorder is energetic, to a level 11. And so on. And, of course, as a human isn’t designed to run at a level 11, many other symptoms accompany those exaggerated experiences.

And while many of these exaggerated moods are related to no external stimuli at all and just appear out of the blue, some exaggerated moods are the result of something happening in the environment. Near as I can tell, bipolar disorder isn’t just an exaggeration of normal emotion it’s also an exaggeration of normal reactions to emotional situations.

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When Does Having Bipolar Become Who You Are?

I’ve had bipolar disorder for more than a decade – at least. Some might argue I’ve had signs of it since I was a child. That’s a very long time. That’s so long a time that it’s almost impossible for me to imagine myself without bipolar disorder. I suppose I can imagine it but it seems so farfetched that it’s barely worth the bother.

And for most of that time, the bipolar disorder has not been well-controlled. I’ve not only had bipolar, I’ve been manifesting those bipolar symptoms for most of my life. And while bipolar is not all that I am, it occurs to me that it absolutely is a part of who I am.

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I write a three-time Web Health Award winning column for HealthyPlace called Breaking Bipolar.

Also, find my writings on The Huffington Post and my work for BPHope (BP Magazine).

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