I feel like there’s a huge amount of pressure on me to function perfectly because I have bipolar disorder. While everyone wants to do their best, certainly, I feel pressure to do the best just to prove that a person with bipolar can. It’s like I’m letting everyone with bipolar disorder down if I don’t function perfectly.
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Bipolar moods go up and bipolar moods go down. This is true. I think, though, bipolar moods also go sideways. And diagonally. So while I know the typical metaphor used with bipolar moods is a rollercoaster (I’ve used it, we all do), recently, my bipolar moods feel like more of a zigzag with rapid, hairpin turns. Yes, this is the bipolar zigzag mood.
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September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and so I want to talk suicide and bipolar. But I don’t just want to talk about suicide and bipolar disorder, I want to straight talk about it. I don’t want to get caught up in stigma or political correctness or whitewashing the pain. Because I believe we need to really talk about suicide to show that suicide is not a dirty word and to help all those who struggle with it.
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People with bipolar disorder are all-too-familiar with cycles – the moving from one mood to another – but not everyone knows that for some, moods can cycle ultra-ultra-rapidly. When a mood cycles last less than a day this is known as ultradian cycling. Ultradian cycling bipolar disorder is a very tough variant of bipolar disorder to treat and to live with.
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In my last article, I talked about how many with bipolar disorder don’t have insight; so, the next question is, how do you develop insight into bipolar disorder if you recognize you don’t have it? Developing bipolar disorder insight isn’t necessarily easy – it requires looking inward and doing the work – but it is possible.
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Insight into bipolar disorder is critical. Insight into anyone’s life is a good idea but for those with a mental illness, it’s vital. It’s a big part of what makes managing bipolar disorder possible. But so many people don’t have insight into bipolar disorder. Why is that?
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I’ve talked about bipolar and rest before but now I want to add the concepts of choice and empowerment. I want to talk about how choosing rest because of bipolar disorder is actually empowering. I want to talk about taking some power away from the bipolar disorder.
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Childhood bipolar disorder is a scary proposition and that’s what makes the treatment of bipolar disorder in children so critical. I recently came across a Psychiatric Times article by Chris Aiken, MD that talks about treating children with bipolar disorder with lithium and I wanted to outlay the research findings Dr. Aiken talks about as well as my own thoughts.
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Some would argue trauma can cause bipolar disorder. I would argue bipolar itself, feels like a trauma. I’m not suggesting bipolar disorder de facto gives you posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but I am saying the trauma reactions seen in trauma survivors are similar to what I experience with chronic, obstructive, severe bipolar disorder.
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