It can be difficult to know how to advocate for yourself in a doctor’s appointment. I’ve been faced with this for years, and I still sometimes find it difficult. However, forming a patient-doctor alliance where you work together is part of a comprehensive wellness plan. In order to participate in this, you must be able to advocate for your own needs and wants. Here’s how to advocate for yourself in a doctor’s appointment.
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I know what it feels like when your doctor says they can’t help you. I’ve had this happen many times. I’ve experienced everything from being fired by a doctor to having a doctor deny me care altogether. These are rough things. Any time your doctor says they can’t help you, it’s tough to take. But there are things you can do, even at that point. Here’s what to do when your doctor says they can’t help you.
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Can a doctor have a good bedside manner and be medically competent? That is the question. In my experience, these two things rarely go together. This is a shame because I consider them two sides of the same coin when treating patients. You can’t just be good at one of them and expect to get the best possible outcomes. And I’m not the only one who says this, research bears this out as well (see more below). So why do doctors who are clinically competent rarely have a good bedside manner and vice versa? Do we really have to choose between the two?
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Doctors often don’t listen to people with bipolar disorder or other mental illnesses. In fact, most people with bipolar disorder know, the instant a doctor sees “bipolar disorder” on your chart, you’re screwed. Now, don’t get me wrong, not every doctor is the same, and I have had some doctors treat me with the same care I suspect they would offer anyone else. That said, on the whole, doctors don’t listen to people with bipolar disorder. Here’s why, and here’s how to fight it.
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I’m in the process of being judged by a doctor and I know the doctor will be judging me for having a mental illness, not to mention my mental illness treatment. This is happening because I just put in an application for a new general practitioner (GP). On the application, I had to write down my medical conditions, medical concerns and all medications being taken. As I looked at it all, I knew it didn’t look good for me. It’s funny that having a serious mental illness makes you appear like a less-than-desirable patient seeing as you’re one of the people who actually need help more. And that’s because of judgment. It’s about a doctor judging you for your mental illness and your treatment. It’s unfair, but it definitely happens.
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Recently I talked to a doctor who reminded me that patient-blaming in mental illness is alive and thriving. For those of you not familiar, patient-blaming is when you, the person with mental illness, the patient, are blamed for the lack of treatment success. Unfortunately, this idea is actually baked into medicine’s nomenclature. People say things like, “I failed that medication,” or even, “I failed chemotherapy.” People know the intended meaning, of course, they mean that those treatments failed to make those people better. But the idea that language even exists in medicine really sets the stage for patient-blaming in mental illness.
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I have considered, over the years, whether doctors care about patients. There are arguments on both sides of this one and, I admit, recently, my interactions with doctors would suggest that they don’t. But these are only the experiences I’ve had with doctors. So, when looking at them en masse, do doctors care about their patients or not?
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I was really nervous to have to tell my doctor that I had decided to take the Truehope product EMPowerplus. I was pretty sure he was going to either laugh or chastise me out of his office. My anxiety about it was so bad that I didn’t want to mention it at all. Of course, that would have been a poor decision. Allowing anxiety to override your logic is never the right call.
So I told him and surprisingly, he was nonplussed. He just sort of said, “Alright then.”
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Recently I read Invisible Tattoos: The stigma of psychiatry by Dr. Henry A. Nasrallah in Current Psychiatry. Invisible Tattoos is and editorial piece on how the stigma of mental illness affects psychiatrists just like it affects the mentally ill. And my reaction?
I thought the piece was a little whiny and navel-gazing. I mean seriously, these people are respected professionals making lots of money – they don’t have an illness threatening to kill them every day.
But then I got a comment from a medical student and I reconsidered my position. Maybe antipsychiatry poster-boy Tom Cruise doesn’t just fuck around with the way people look at me, maybe he fucks around with the way people look at psychiatrists too. And maybe stigma is difficult for psychiatrists to deal with.
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