What to Do When Someone Tells You They Have a Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 18, 2012

It’s extremely difficult to tell someone you have a mental illness. No one really likes a conversation that’s along the lines, of, “Hi. How’s the family? Did you know I have a possibly fatal, lifelong condition?”

It’s kind of a bummer.

But telling someone you have a mental illness is hard on the person you tell too. It’s not just hard to give the news; it’s hard to receive it. In fact, most people have no idea what to say upon hearing that someone has a mental illness. They may not know anything about the mental illness or only know what the media tells them – that people with mental illnesses are dangerous and scary. And while that may not be accurate, if it’s the only thing the person has ever heard, you can’t really blame them for acting negatively – at least initially.

So if someone tells you they have a mental illness, what should you do?

When You Leave Someone with a Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 9, 2012

I’ve written about the fact that sometimes you have to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness for the sake of your own health and sometimes even for the sake of the person with the mental illness. I believe this even though the person is sick and the sickness is not his (or her) fault.

This post has been met with relief by some and anger by others.

Some are relieved that someone is finally talking about their reality while others are appalled that I would suggest leaving someone for an illness that is not his fault.

Mental Illness – It’s Your Fault

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 13, 2012

One of the frustrating things about having a mental illness is how often people say (or intimate) that the mental illness is your fault. Oh sure, they might not come right out and say, “You’re to blame for your bipolar,” (although some people do) but they might just say:

You wouldn’t be bipolar if you didn’t take all those meds
Your diet [eating wheat, dairy, etc.] is causing your mental illness
You wouldn’t be depressed if you exercised more
Your mental illness is “all in your head”
Your bipolar is made up by your psychiatrist
Mental illness is your punishment for not being Christian (or not being faithful enough)

And so on and so forth pretty much until my head is about to explode.

But here’s a newsflash – mental illness isn’t your fault. My bipolar isn’t my fault. No illness is the sufferer’s fault and I’m tired of having to defend myself to others just because my illness is “mental.”

Doom and Gloom Support Groups – Is Bipolar Really That Hopeless?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 4, 2012

The Problem with Online Support Groups

Recently a reader wrote into me and told me that online bipolar support groups scared the stuffing out of her. In her words:

. . . is it really that bleak? IS there a place to find support and encouragement and practical advice that isn’t so dire – comment after comment about divorce, violence, anger and mania…. I just need some perspective.

I feel for this reader. She is trying to support her significant other with bipolar disorder and she is finding that the supports are more harmful than helpful.

And, honestly, this is a big problem with support groups – they are often either doom and gloom or sunshine and light, and neither represent a decent perspective.

Compassion for Those Who Love People with Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 7, 2012

Rarely, if ever, do people accuse me of having a lack of compassion for people with a mental illness. This is probably because I am a person with a mental illness so I kind of know where other mentally ill people are coming from.

Nevertheless, this is exactly what one commenter recently did:

This is a tragic post because the writer is incapable of honoring the struggle of a human being who is in pain. Rather than muster empathy, compassion and problem-solving, she shuts out the people who need her most. There is something wrong with America when families send their loved ones to prison or institutions when what they need most is the love and support of their community.

The commenter is referring to a post wherein I suggested that sometimes the right thing to do is to say goodbye to a person with a mental illness. Particularly in cases where a person is abusive and refuses to get help, sometimes walking away is the only thing left to do in order to protect your own life. I stand by this sentiment.

Compassion, Empathy and Problem-Solving

And for the record, I’m all for employing empathy, compassion and problem-solving in all aspects of life and of course when dealing with a mental illness. That’s why I’ve written about helping people with a mental illness and telling someone they have a mental illness and convincing someone to get help with a mental illness.But empathy, compassion and problem-solving have limits. None of us is superhuman. And people with a mental illness aren‘t the only ones deserving of compassion.

Mental Illness Words You Can’t Say

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 14, 2011

As a writer I take claim to any and all words. They are mine and I do with them as I please. This includes mental illness / mental health terms. However, some people would argue that as a mental health writer and advocate, it is my responsibility to promote certain language and verbiage.

I did not agree to that.

I agreed to be a writer. I agreed to be opinionated. I agreed to be passionate. I agreed to be well-researched. I agreed to be intelligent. I did not agree to push a political agenda.

Mental Illness Words You Can’t Say

Nevertheless, people still insist that I not use the following words / phrases:

Whackjob
Nutjob
Nutbar
Crazy
Bonkers
Off his rocker
Mentally unstable
“The mentally ill”
Bipolars
“I’m bipolar”

And about a million other things. The politically correct people have told me I’m not allowed to refer to anyone’s mental capacity in anything but the most politically correct way. Which is, in case you were wondering, a person with a mental illness or a person with bipolar disorder, etc.

Again, not to flog a horse that happens to be dead, but I have poetic license which means I get to do whatever I want with words.

Disallowing Depression Misconceptions – Newspaper Response

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 6, 2011

Last week many people read my article Disallowing Depression Misconceptions containing critical remarks about a piece in West Virginia University’s school paper, The Daily Athenaeum. The piece was entitled Depression can be treated through lifestyle changes and suggested, among other inaccuracies, that all people needed to help depression was, “a walk in the park.”

I found Depression can be treated through lifestyle changes to be stigmatizing and just plain inaccurate and I said so both here at the Bipolar Burble and in the comments on The Daily Athenaeum’s website as well. I’m pleased to say many of my readers also stopped by to express rather notable disapproval of the article.

The Daily Athenaeum’s Response to Criticism

And so what did The Daily Athenaeum do?

They removed all comments from the piece and disallowed new ones.

Disallowing Depression Misconceptions

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 31, 2011

I despise bad reporting and I don’t care if you write for a newspaper with a circulation of 3 people or the New York Times – there is no excuse to report badly on mental illness, there is quality information available everywhere.

Point in case is Depression can be treated through lifestyle changes by Danielle Faipler in West Virginia University’s student paper, The Daily Athenaeum.

Comments on Depression can be treated through lifestyle changes

This article contains some of the most widely-spread mistruths about depression and mental illness and is inexcusable. It doesn’t even pass a sanity check (even by an insane person).

Antidepressants are good for short-term treatment, but they do not facilitate with the long-term changes needed to treat the illness, and they add to the growing prescription drug abuse problem in the U.S.

That is absolutely false and I would enjoy seeing any research that indicates otherwise. As I have shown, depressed people who take antidepressants do better long-term and antidepressants are not addictive. Stating otherwise is ignorant or untruthful.

A side effect of antidepressants is hallucinations, and most of the time, different medication is prescribed to the patient.

If the number of people who experienced hallucinations from taking antidepressants alone were to get together for a party, they could fit in my freaking apartment. Yes, it can happen with some antidepressants, but it’s far from common.

Psych Meds Prevent Artistic and Creative Thought

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 27, 2011

Not infrequently, at the Bipolar Burble I get comments about how if famous artists with mental illnesses had of been medicated, we would have no art today. For some odd reason their go-to example is always Vincent Van Gogh. Without his untreated mental illness, they argue, Van Gogh wouldn’t have been the great artist we know him to be today.

Right then. Let’s all go off our meds and paint. And chop off our ears.