mental illness issues Archives - Page 30 of 54 - Natasha Tracy Bipolar Expert

Support for Bipolar Disorder – Will You Be Okay Tonight?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Nov 4, 2014

Yesterday I got the news that I’m losing one of my best friends of 16 years. He’s someone I’ve known pretty much since birth. He’s giving and loving and very furry. He’s my cat.

And while I can understand that not everyone will fully comprehend the bond between a human and animal, you will just have to take my word for it that the news put me into shock and I am now grieving what will very soon become a physical loss.

And, of course, a trauma like this (yes, it is a trauma) will make my bipolar disorder blow up. Bipolar makes grief worse and grief makes bipolar disorder worse.

Why People Don’t ‘Get’ Mental Illness and How You Can Help

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Oct 7, 2014

When someone breaks a leg, people “get” it. They understand it. They empathize with it. They’re compassionate about it. The same thing is true when people get cancer or undergo surgery for a heart condition or even get the flu. And yet when someone has a mental illness, people just don’t “get” it. And in spite of spending more than a decade educating about my mental illness, bipolar disorder, sometimes I feel like they never will. This tends to make people with mental illness feel alone.

Bipolar Treatment Fatigue

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 1, 2014

In the world of chronic illness there is a concept of “caregiver fatigue.” This is where caregivers of people with chronic illness get burned out because they just spend so much time and effort caring for another person. This is a real thing and a real problem.

I would suggest there is also such as thing as “bipolar treatment fatigue.” Bipolar treatment fatigue is when a patient with bipolar disorder becomes burned out because of all the time and effort it takes to fight the bipolar disorder. I think this is a real thing and a real problem.

When Your Family Doesn’t Support You or Your Mental Illness

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 26, 2014

Recently a received a message from someone who was very distressed because her family wouldn’t accept her because of her mental illness. Her family hadn’t cut her out of their lives, necessarily, but they didn’t understand bipolar disorder and just waved her off telling her to “take her meds.” They made no effort to support her dealing with her mental illness.

And to this woman, family was everything. She didn’t think she could live without the support of her family.

And while I know that family is critically important to some people, I’m here to tell you: you can live with a mental illness, with bipolar disorder, without the support of your family.

Bipolar – I’ve Forgotten What It Is to Be Normal

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 30, 2014

I was having a very annoyed/angry day. This was annoying me and then that was pissing me off. And I realized this was a thread through my day and thought to myself, “Yup, I have days like that. It’s a bipolar thing.” And then I wondered, “Do normal people have days where they’re mad at everything?”

And then I realized I had no idea. I have no idea if normal people have irrationally angry days. I’ve forgotten what it is to be normal.

[And before someone has a hissy fit because I’m saying that people with bipolar disorder aren’t normal, please read the linked article.]

Bipolar Symptom Psychomotor Agitation, Mixed Moods and Suicide

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 21, 2014

Last year, I wrote an article on psychomotor agitation at HealthyPlace. Psychomotor agitation (or retardation) is a symptom of bipolar (and unipolar) depression as well as hypomania/mania and very little information about it is available (in spite of the fact that it is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness (DSM-5)).

Most definitions for psychomotor agitation include the words, “inner restlessness.” I don’t know about you, but “inner restlessness” reminds me of a 22-year-old who can’t find himself and so is backpacking across the country. It really doesn’t sound like a mental illness symptom – let alone like a serious one.

But, as it turns out, psychomotor agitation is serious, highly indicative of a bipolar mixed episode and correlated with suicidal acts.

Healing After a Suicide Attempt

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 7, 2014

I was having breakfast with a friend of mine the other day and the topic of her suicide attempt came up. She attempted suicide years ago at a very low point in her bipolar disorder. And what she said was, she found herself very upset about it presently, even though it was years ago. She said she never dealt with her suicide attempt and now that was hurting her.

I understand. I think many of us don’t deal with the realities of a suicide attempt. I think many of us what to put our suicide attempts behind us so badly, that we just push them away without ever considering how deeply something like that scars us.

For my own part, I know what I’ve done with my suicide attempt. I’ve rationalized it. I’ve intellectualized my suicide attempt as “passive” and “not a real attempt” (since my chances of truly dying were low) and this has allowed me to, well, pretty much ignore it. But will that technique come to haunt me one day?

I Hate ‘Having Fun’

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 23, 2014

You know what I hate? I hate the concept of “having fun.” I hate the pressure to “have fun.” I hate the notion that so much of what we do is to “have fun.” Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge others their fun. They should have as much of it as they like. But for me, trying to have fun is just a big chore (or a big lie).

So I’m here, in Parma, Italy and I’m supposed to be chill-axing and “having fun.” Italy is a fun place, after all. All you need to do is stumble from gelato stand to pizza bar to have a good time.

But here’s the thing: I don’t have fun.

I don’t. I’m depressed. I’m anhedonic. I’m apathetic. I don’t have fun. I just don’t.

It’s not that I don’t want it, or that I wouldn’t have it if I could, it’s just that I can’t.

If You Just Loved Yourself, You Wouldn’t Want to Self-Harm

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 9, 2014

Last week I wrote about my urge to self-harm. I talked about how after many years, I still have the urge to self-harm but that I don’t actually follow-through and do it.

And one commenter left a comment to the effect of,