I Hate Hope: How to Manage Hope When You Have Treatment-Resistant Bipolar Disorder

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Apr 15, 2026

I hate hope. I really do. Every time I feel it, I try to squelch it. And there’s a good reason for this. Hope leads to disappointment, and disappointment leads to depression and suffering. You may think I’m being negative here, but I’m not. I’m being realistic and speaking from experience. If you have treatment-resistant bipolar disorder (or anything else), you know what I mean. I feel like hope is a mirage that ends up clobbering me about the ear, nose, and throat. I hate hope, and hope is dangerous. But there it is, again and again. So, I’ve tried to find ways to manage my hope such that its benefits can persist without its negatives killing me.

The Hidden Truth About New Year’s and Suicide — Finding Hope and Healing in January

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Dec 30, 2024

New Year’s is often seen as a time for fresh starts and celebration, but for many, it can be overwhelming, especially for those living with bipolar disorder. The cultural pressure to “start over” combined with feelings of loneliness or failure can make January 1 a particularly difficult day, even increasing the risk of suicide. In this article, I uncover the hidden struggles of New Year’s Day, explore why it can feel so challenging, and offer practical steps to find hope and healing in January and beyond.

Losing Hope for Bipolar Wellness When a Role Model Gets Sick

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Dec 15, 2013

There are many reasons I don’t typically talk about my own, personal, current mood and treatments. I’ve written about why I don’t write about my bipolar treatments here. Similarly, I don’t talk about my current bipolar mood state because my writings are less about me, in particular, and more about the experience of bipolar, in general. I believe that’s one of the reasons my writing is so popular. I take my personal experience of bipolar disorder and use it as a springboard to speak to what it’s like to experience bipolar for so many.

But one of the other reasons I don’t talk about my personal, current mood state is because I’m a private person. I know this seems weird considering how much I share online. But I’m careful with what I share, and what I don’t.

And finally, I know that I’m a role model for some people and I don’t talk about my own current mood episode because I don’t want other people to lose hope. In spite of recent accusations, I do actually bring hope to thousands of people with bipolar and people who love those with bipolar disorder and I don’t want to do anything to injure that hope.

How to Explain Bipolar Disorder to Others

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 8, 2013

Some people say there’s no way that someone without a mental illness can understand what a person with bipolar disorder goes through. I suppose there is some truth to this; I’m sure I don’t understand what it’s like to be paraplegic even though I have a sense of what it would be like not to be able to walk.

Nevertheless, there are ways of explaining tough subjects, like bipolar disorder, to others, such that they have a better chance of understanding where we’re coming from. Here’s how to do it.

Breaking Bipolar Articles You Should Read

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 20, 2011

Admit it – you haven’t kept up with your bipolar reading. Come on. I know it. I can barely keep up and I write the bipolar articles.

Luckily for you, I like you a lot, and I’m happy to give you a little cheat sheet on what’s been getting attention at Breaking Bipolar. We’ve got mental illness and higher education, mental illness and physical pain, how to tell if it’s a med side effect and oh so much more.

Articles Breaking Bipolar Over at HealthyPlace

Here is a sampling of recent articles written for Breaking Bipolar at HealthyPlace to which people have positively responded:

Is it a Med Side Effect? – What is a medication side effect and what isn’t a med side effect? How can you tell?
Temperature Dysregulation – Or Why I’m So Cold – Speaking of side effects – did you know psychiatric meds can change how your body temperature feels?
Yes, You Can Get a Higher Degree With Bipolar Disorder – So many people have written me to say how successful they have been in school. Read this for inspiration and hope. Some people have taken 10 years to get their degree – but they got it. Article includes tips on being successful at school.
Mental Illness Means Physical Pain Too – People think mental illness is “just” in your head. They would be wrong about that.
Is It Really Never the Psychiatrist’s Fault? – I’m tired of doctors acting like they never make a mistake.
Being Thankful Even When Anhedonic – Even when I can’t feel pleasure I can feel grateful for the things that go right in my life.
How to Keep Going When Medication Doesn’t Work – And for your final dose of hope and encouragement, here are some tips on continuing mental illness treatment even when everything is going wrong.