I’m often asked by people, “I want to die. What should I do?”
It’s very, very sad.
But it is a reality for so many. So many people want to die at one point or another in their lives. It might be related to a mental illness like depression or it might not. But regardless as to why a person wants to die, it’s critical to know what to do if it’s happening to you or someone you care about. (Suicide and suicide attempt resources here.)
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Over the last couple of years I have written a lot about suicide. It’s a big topic and one of great importance to the mental illness community and, I believe, society at large. As today is World Suicide Prevention Day I wanted to present a round-up of all the suicide and suicide attempt resources I have written over the years.
Please use these to help others or help yourself. Not one more person ever needs to die of suicide.
September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day and I, for one, am thankful. I’m thankful there’s a group called the International Association for Suicide Prevention that is out there promoting World Suicide Prevention Day. I’m thankful that an international group is taking the time to address this incredibly important subject.
I won’t bore you with pages of suicide statistics, but when you think about suicide prevention, consider this:
Suicide is a major problem in the mental illness community, to be sure, but suicide is really everyone’s problem as it’s estimated that there are 20 times the number of suicide attempts as there are suicide completions. If you haven’t been personally touched by suicide yet, you will be.
But World Suicide Prevention Day isn’t about dwelling on the suicide statistics. World Suicide Prevention Day is about working on preventing those 1 million deaths. And as I’ve stated before, I believe suicide is entirely preventable and we, as a society should strive for a zero percent suicide rate.
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This, honestly, isn’t a topic I thought of myself, but in my search log, it turns out that many people are searching for “what to do if you’ve just attempted suicide” and ending up here. On the one hand it saddens me to think of these people who have attempted suicide reading these words, but on the other hand, it is very positive that someone who has attempted suicide is reaching out in whatever way possible.
So, if you have recently attempted suicide, I welcome you. Thank-you for seeking this out.
Read MoreAs I wrote yesterday, many people post suicide threats on Facebook and I have recommendations for how to handle suicide threats on Facebook or other social media. However, there was something I was not aware of – features right in Facebook to report suicidal content. There are actually several features right in Facebook to help with suicide or self-harm posts on Facebook.
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I’m pretty connected on Facebook, Twitter and on social media in general. I have to be. It’s important for my career.
And as such I have almost 20,000 followers on various platforms. This is a whole lot of people to be exposed to on a daily basis. And due to my profession, I run into many people with mental illness on my Facebook, Twitter and other feeds. And sometimes the people on these feeds are in distress. Distressed to the point where they threaten suicide.
But what do you do if someone threatens suicide on Facebook, Twitter or otherwise?
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I woke up one morning in 1994 crushed with depression. The first thing I thought of that morning was how much I wanted to kill myself, and if I couldn’t do that, then how much I wanted to hurt myself. I kept cutting implements and bandages near my bed just in case the feelings were too much to bear.
Of course, this was like every morning of my 16-year-old life. I was depressed, but I didn’t know it. I only knew that I wanted to die. I needed to die. I needed it like most people needed breath. And I knew that no one understood.
My home life was one of the things driving me to depression and granting me the leanings of suicide. Things there were a hellish nightmare of screaming and hate. And the people related to me and forced to love me gave me no consolation whatsoever as I was sure that they didn’t. These people hated me and wanted me gone every bit as much as I did.
This was, at least partially, my depression talking, but I didn’t know it then. I didn’t know what depression was and I didn’t know how loudly it spoke.
So I found myself in my car trying to drive anywhere away from there. Away from the nexus of crazy. So I drove to the only place that I knew would have me – to the house of my rapist.
As is most often the case my sexual abuse was complicated. And while I hated what this man in his 40s did to me the one thing I couldn’t live without was his love. He would tell me he loved me. This was undoubtedly a lie but convinced as I was that no one else did, that my life was worthless and that I should die, that one sliver of love offered by a minion of Satan made me keep breathing.
I arrived at his house to find him not home – away, undoubtedly grooming other little lovelies for his nest. So I did the only thing I could think to do, I curled up on a square of cement near his front steps and went to sleep weeping – an attempt to escape the world that was trying to kill me.
This is a picture of a girl in crisis. A girl so tightly wound in the grasp of depression that she can see no way of dealing with it at all. A girl so desperate to feel anything but the pain of mental illness she was prepared to put her body and her soul in harm’s way just to not feel like death was upon her for one brief moment in time.
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Often people with bipolar disorder, depression and other mental illnesses feel suicidal. And people often feel suicidal knowing that they aren’t, actually, going to commit suicide. And while the knowledge that you likely aren’t going to commit suicide might be comforting to some, it sure doesn’t make feeling suicidal any more fun.
And starting to feel suicidal can begin with little things like feeling crushing depression, unstoppable loneliness or indeed feeling nothing at all. People have different cycles that lead to feeling suicidal. Regardless though, when you start to feel like you want off the planet, there are some things you can do.
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Last year was a great one here at the Bipolar Burble and saw a dramatic rise in audience numbers, so welcome readers, new and old. This means that debates were fast and sometimes fierce here on the Burble, and mostly, that’s OK with me. Although it did require the invocation of commenting rules, it also meant that more people had their say on mental illness topics.
So, without further ago, here is the top 10 list of articles people read in 2011:
As I’ve said, I consider 2011 to have been a break-out year for the Bipolar Burble and I thank you all for being a part of it.
And don’t forget, if you have questions or if there are subjects you would like addressed here at the Burble, you are welcome to contact me anytime or leave a comment. I am at your service.
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